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Thread: jokes appropriate for a sc

  1. #1
    Lola Rose
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    Default jokes appropriate for a sc

    I've recently started learning some good jokes to tell custys, little onelines, either making fun of them or myself. I really like it, but I want some new ones! I really think that telling jokes just helps them losen up and spend! (I espically want jokes about sc, sex, blondes, and stuff like that) So I thought we could all share our jokes I personally like a lot of self depricating stuff, b/c I think it makes me more down to earth to the guys.

    1. Why does a woman need a man? Because a viberator can't mow the lawn!

    2. What's the difference between a blonde and a man? A blonde has a higher sperm count!

    3. What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever!

    4. What do a Rubix Cube and a cock have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get!

    5. Why do men pay more for car insurance? Women don' get blow jobd while drving!

  2. #2
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    I cant' think of any particularly sexy blonde jokes, but these are really cute! I might steal a few.

  3. #3
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    go for it I'm gonna search for some more.

    funny equals $$, right

  4. #4
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    6. What did one saggy boob say to the other? If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

    7. What do you do with a years worth of condoms? Melt them, turn them into a tire, and call it a good year!

    8. One night, a policewoman pulled over a drunk driver. She asks him to step out of the car, and says "anything you say can and will be used against you" So he yelled out, "boobies"!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    knock-knock-
    whos there?
    freep-
    freep who?
    eew! no thanks

  6. #6
    God/dess
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Oh, god, you just made me remember this horrible joke a regular customer used to tell at the very first fully nude club I first danced in. It's bad but it cracked me up:

    :leans in: "Can I smell your pussy?"
    :dancer backs up, horrified: "No!!"
    :leans back: "Must be your feet, then."

  7. #7
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
    Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes to bend little boys over and fuck them in the ass.

    My favorite joke of all time:

    A baby seal walked into a club.

  8. #8
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    uhhh... neither of those make any sense carolina6, imo.

    this one is in the beginning of an afroman song-

    what did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
    good morning, ladies!

    Love it!

  9. #9
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    uhhh... neither of those make any sense carolina6, imo.

    this one is in the beginning of an afroman song-

    what did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
    good morning, ladies!
    They make sense chrissy, they're just not too good


    Quote Originally Posted by carolina6 View Post
    What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
    Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes to bend little boys over and fuck them in the ass.
    moon =ass. Like "mooning" people....

    Quote Originally Posted by carolina6 View Post

    A baby seal walked into a club.

    clubbing baby seals to get their pelts..... this seal was so dumb it walked into the club, as opposed to being hit.....




    imo, there's a fine line between a good joke and a tasteless remark.

  10. #10
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    oh gosh i totally didnt get either.

    Love it!

  11. #11
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    it's ok, I'm sure you're not alone!

  12. #12
    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Someone mentioned this in another thread:

    Why do blonds wear panties? To keep their ankles warm!!!
    Last edited by LatinaRose; 04-12-2007 at 12:23 AM.

  13. #13
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. Michael Jackson invented the moonwalk.

    Granted, they are both bad, tasteless jokes, not appropriate for a strip club, or any setting, IMO.

    A funny one I heard the other night:
    Why did the blonde have bruises on her belly button?


    Cause her boyfriend was a blonde to.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Why do blondes like lightning?

    They think they're getting their picture taken.

  15. #15
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    what happened when the blonde's boss asked her to highlight part of an email?
    there was marker on the computer screen.

    Love it!

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    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Most of my jokes are offensive. Some of them have actually gotten me a smack upside the head from female friends. That in mind, please don't hate me.

    Q: Why do women wear white on their wedding day?
    A: All kitchen appliances should match.

    Q: Why has Nasa never sent women to the moon?
    A: It doesn't need to be cleaned.

    Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
    A: More headroom.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    As a side note, I'd love to be able to order a naked, writhing slut muffin from Tim Horton's.

  17. #17
    Senior Member BaileyBanksNBiddle's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    what happened when the blonde's boss asked her to highlight part of an email?
    there was marker on the computer screen.
    The way you tell a joke is what really makes it...

    How can you tell the blonde was on the computer?
    ....theres white-out on the screen.....
    "Here’s to the woman in the high heeled shoes. She smokes the men’s cigarettes and drinks all their booze! When she kisses, she kisses so sweet, she makes things stand that have no feet! She has lost her cherry but that’s no sin cause’ she still has the box the cherry came in!"

  18. #18
    God/dess
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    ^^BBB, your signature reminded me of the stripper toast as I've heard it:

    "Here's to the girls in the high-heeled shoes
    Who take all your money and drink all your booze
    We're no virgins but that's no sin
    We've still got the boxes our cherries came in."

    I like the extra line in yours!

    Anyhow LR, that's a funny toast to use.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    I always liked the story of the dancer who complained to club management about the customer who told her that her hair smelt nice.

    "Why do you want to complain about someone saying your hair smells nice?"

    "This guy was a midget".

    Phil.

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    Member ss's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    what did the blonde say when she opened a box a cheerios?

    look! a box of donut seeds.

    Its a silly joke but it makes guys laugh.

  21. #21
    Senior Member lovely1021's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post
    6. What did one saggy boob say to the other? If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!
    OMG.. This one has simply made my day...Thanks LOLA

  22. #22
    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

    A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    As a side note, I'd love to be able to order a naked, writhing slut muffin from Tim Horton's.

  23. #23
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    What do strippers and condoms have in common?

    They're always in your wallet and never on your dick

    Why did the stripper snort sweet and low?

    She thought it was diet coke
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    Veteran Member hikaru's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Thanks for the jokes...when a customer joke on me sometimes I don't get it (being Asian)...now I can tell jokes

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    Newbie Golferbob's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    What does a blonde do after sex? Closes the car door.

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