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Thread: jokes appropriate for a sc

  1. #26
    Member ss's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    what men would do if they had a vagina for a day
    10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

    9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

    8. See if they could finally do the splits.

    7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

    6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

    5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

    4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

    3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

    2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

    1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

  2. #27
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    what are two things in the air that can get a woman pregnant?






























    her legs

  3. #28
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    ha! I love that one TB!

    The 10 things is cute, but too long for the memory! lol.

  4. #29
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    there once was a hemit named dave
    who kept a dead whore in his cave
    she was missing a tit
    she smelled like shit
    but think of the money he saved


    two hookers were standing on a street corner
    one hooker says "its gonna be a good night i can smell cock in the air"
    the other hooker says "no,i just burped"

  5. #30
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    the 10 things is hard to remember so here's a few shorter ones.

    What did the penis say to the condom?
    Cover me I'm going in!

    Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
    Because their plugged into a genius!

    What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
    Lipstick

    the last one is not a joke but would definitely be cute conversation starter

    If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

  6. #31
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    These are a little long, but much more light-hearted:

    A single guy at a bar finds himself sitting next to a group of blondes who are obviously very excited about something, because they're ordering round after round of drinks. As each round comes they toast, "51 days!" After this happens 4 or 5 times the guy gets really curious, so he taps the shoulder of the blonde closest to him and asks, "What's up with 51 days?" "Oh, she says, "The six of us just finished a puzzle. The box said 2 to 4 years but we did it in 51 days!"

    A blonde is driving by a cornfield when she sees something that makes her furious. There's another blonde in the middle of the cornfield, paddling a rowboat with all her might through the ears of corn. The first blonde storms over to the edge of the field and starts yelling, "You know, it's stupid blondes like you who give smart blondes like me a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass!"

    You might think they're stupid, but I'm a big square when it comes to dirty sex jokes, so I like silly ones like these much better. But if mine are too juvenile you can call the thread police on me too

    Hey hey hey I thought of one more:

    How do you get a blonde to marry you?
    Tell her she's pregnant.
    What will she ask you?
    Is it mine?
    Last edited by teeth_of_the_hydra; 04-15-2007 at 04:02 PM. Reason: more funny stuff

  7. #32
    Veteran Member candygrrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by carolina6 View Post
    What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
    Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes to bend little boys over and fuck them in the ass.

    My favorite joke of all time:

    A baby seal walked into a club.

    haha i think they're funny. these jokes don't need to be dissected, and if you don't get it, well, the poster of the little girl trying to read and then saying "fuck it i'll become a stripper" comes to mind.

  8. #33
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    I liked the baby seal one.


    What's the mating call of a blonde?

    "I'm so drunk!"

    of a brunette?

    "I said, I'm sooo drunk!'

    of a redhead?

    "Next!"

  9. #34
    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Why do blondes wear panties?
    To keep their ankles warm.

    What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women WILD?
    A $100 bill.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    As a side note, I'd love to be able to order a naked, writhing slut muffin from Tim Horton's.

  10. #35
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowles View Post
    What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women WILD?
    A $100 bill.
    Ok this one is the shit. I'm using it.

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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant?

    Ken comes in a different box.

    What's pink, warm and wet?

    Chewed bubblegum.

  12. #37
    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Ok this one is the shit. I'm using it.
    Somehow, I anticipated that joke would be well received...accentuate the "wild." Really, any denomination of money would work, sometimes I just say "folding money". But the joke sounds dirty at first, then it's not, which is the beauty of it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    As a side note, I'd love to be able to order a naked, writhing slut muffin from Tim Horton's.

  13. #38
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowles View Post
    Why do blondes wear panties?
    To keep their ankles warm.

    What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women WILD?
    A $100 bill.
    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Ok this one is the shit. I'm using it.
    hell ya!!! I'm totally using this!!!


    I'm such a gold digger, this is perfect for me!!!

  14. #39
    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by carolina6 View Post
    What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
    Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes to bend little boys over and fuck them in the ass.

    My favorite joke of all time:

    A baby seal walked into a club.
    Lol those are great

    -E
    hilarious signature

  15. #40
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by biancababe View Post
    knock-knock-
    whos there?
    freep-
    freep who?
    eew! no thanks
    that's very goddam funny!
    and it took me a few seconds to get...


    my favorite joke of all time to tell customers is:

    WHAT DO GAY HORSES EAT??
    (flamboyantly) hay!
    and add the lil gay hand thing when ya say it

    IF A GIRL WITH BIG BOOBS WORKS AT HOOTERS, WHERE DOES A GIRL WITH ONE LEG WORK??
    at IHOP

    a blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all pregnant and having a discussion about the sex of their babies. The brunette says "The doctor said since i was on top when i got pregnant, i'm gonna have a boy". The redhead says, "Wow, that means i'm having a girl since i was on the bottom". The blonde gasps, and in a terrified tone of voice says, "OMG you guys, I'm having puppies!"
    Last edited by kkinvegas; 04-21-2007 at 02:18 PM. Reason: adding

  16. #41
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Please, no one take the jokes below seriously. I know serious relationships happen, but these are jokes.

    NO WITH THE FLAMEY FLAMEY POSTS OF HATE!

    What does a stripper do to her asshole before work?
    Drops him off at his band practice.

    What's the difference between aspirin and a stripper's boyfriend?
    Aspirin works.

    How do you get a stripper's ex boyfriend off your porch?
    Pay him for the pizza.

    What do you call a stripper's ex boyfriend?
    Homeless.

  17. #42
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    LOL!!^^

  18. #43
    Senior Member JuliainPDX's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    My roommate, a guy said this, "men can only think with one head at a time!"
    My Twat is Wet!

  19. #44
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin View Post

    How do you get a stripper's ex boyfriend off your porch?
    Pay him for the pizza.

  20. #45
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    why did the blonde get a pussy grafted on her hip? to make some money on the side!

  21. #46
    Veteran Member toomuchhomeworklately's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    How are women and spaghetti alike?
    They both wiggle when you eat them.

  22. #47
    Veteran Member Christian*Doll*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Why is there a hole in a mans penis?


    So they can get air to their brain

  23. #48
    Veteran Member Christian*Doll*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Whats the difference between lust love and showing off?



    Spit,swallow and gargle

  24. #49
    Banned MissTaylor's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin View Post
    Please, no one take the jokes below seriously. I know serious relationships happen, but these are jokes.

    NO WITH THE FLAMEY FLAMEY POSTS OF HATE!

    What does a stripper do to her asshole before work?
    Drops him off at his band practice.

    What's the difference between aspirin and a stripper's boyfriend?
    Aspirin works.

    How do you get a stripper's ex boyfriend off your porch?
    Pay him for the pizza.

    What do you call a stripper's ex boyfriend?
    Homeless.

    3 out of 4 apply to my stripper roommate's last two boyfriends... awesome.

  25. #50
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: jokes appropriate for a sc

    Cherry Sin I am going to memorize each and every one of your jokes lol!

    I only know one joke, and I memorized it. We get alot of lawyers in our club so whenever a lawyer comes in I say, do you like lawyer jokes? They always say yes..so I tell them this one: (I got it off ebaums world so I'm copying and pasting, it was also in Easy Rider,)

    One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

    He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

    "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said. But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

    The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

    They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place - the grass is almost a foot high!"



    It's very long but they always laugh and are impressed that it was a long one. Unfortunately there is no more room left for others haha.

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