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Thread: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

  1. #1
    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    Sometimes I feel sorry for customers, and I feel bad if I take their money. It's like I have to be mad at the world to make money. Sometimes I let their personal stories get to me. I went to a christian school for five years and it was drilled in our heads to have a heart, have compassion, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. well its really hurting my hustle because I know sometimes these guys might be running game on me. I have everything you need to suceed in this business, I just need motivation to take their money!!
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    i went to a religious school too, albeit a jewish one, for 7 years. and here's what i find helps: visualize them not as men, not as people.. but as $ signs, or as alexxa put it in another thread, little gold coins along a rainbow. (i loved that one) you have to put up a sign in your locker, TAKE THEIR MONEY, or something of the sort, because they aren't human beings in there, they are prey. and you are a lion going in for your kill. you HAVE to keep reminding yourself of this. repeat.

    Love it!

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    Member p0sedtodeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    just my two cents. Everyone who walks through the doors of your club has a story, as does every dancer, everyone has problems in their life. But these guys are there for an entertainment. Just because they've had a shitty life, should they be allowed to go to the cinema and see a movie for free? No, so why should you be any different, you are providing a service.

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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    You took the words right out of my mouth, I was going to use the movie theater as an analogy!

    Just think of it as this way, they're willfully coming into the club (nobody is forcing them) and they're willfully reaching into their wallet, taking the money out and giving it to you. The way I see it is, they're lonely old men, needed attention, ego stroking and the company of a beautiful woman, they walk out happy so we're doing them a good service, and we walk out with our paychecks to put a roof over our head and food on the table so we walk out happy. Everyone wins in this situation.

    Just look at it like you're helping them, you're making them better about their self so you're providing a good service. Many times we're like therapists, so should therapists charge nothing because these men have a sob story? Nothing in this world is free and as long as you have someone wanting to buy the product, the product will continue to exist!

  5. #5
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    visualize them not as men, not as people.. but as $ signs, or as alexxa put it in another thread, little gold coins along a rainbow.
    I like to see everyone as a little grey Minesweeper square (21stcenturyfox's idea, and I think it's brilliant. ) Every custy is reduced to a little grey square, and your object is to overturn every square and see how much is lurking underneath for you! It's just a game.

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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    Redhothoney,

    In one sense there nothing wrong with feeling sorry for customers - compassion makes the world go round, etc.

    But you also need to ask yourself; "are they deserving of my compassion?"

    Walking into a strip club is a voluntary activity on our parts - we have taken a conscious decision to walk in and spend $xxx on watching naked women. That's our choice - we weren't forced into the club.

    If we're spending money we don't have or shouldn't be in the club in the first place that's our responsibility, not yours.

    (In the rare event that you genuinely shouldn't be taking his money, fine. Yet how many cases will meet that criteria - very few?).

    I'll guess that you apply a little bit of hustle - all dancers do, but unless you're seriously misleading him what's the problem? Do you think every guy tells you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

    Taking money for dances is a fair transaction - he's paying to see you naked and you're delivering. Would be that all things you purchase meet expectations as well as that. I paid money for plenty of other things and felt short-changed - at least in a strip venue you get what you pay for!)

    Just think to yourself:

    (a) The guy chose to come in here of his own free will.
    (b) He's getting what he paid for - the chance to satisfy his curiosity.

    In that case why feel there's anything wrong in what you're doing?

    You're being paid to be an entertainer - and if you entertain, you should be paid.

    Phil.

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    Veteran Member miss cleo's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    I used to feel like this when i first started dancing, used to spend ages talking to some guy who was telling me his sob story. What changed things for me is that alot of these guys, after you are nice to them, turn around and say how much to come to my hotel!!! It was just so disappointing and i learned that they were not really deserving of my sympathy.

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    Senior Member ChubbyChaser's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    Exactly. They could have chosen anything else to do for entertainment. Play video games, see a movie, go out to dinner, shoot pool with the guys - anything. But they chose the strip club, that's how they want to have fun. They want to give you their money. It would be cruel of you not to take it.
    Sex for money? Never! For jewels, and furs, and revenge, like a lady! But not for money!

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    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    Quote Originally Posted by ChubbyChaser View Post
    Exactly. They could have chosen anything else to do for entertainment. Play video games, see a movie, go out to dinner, shoot pool with the guys - anything. But they chose the strip club, that's how they want to have fun. They want to give you their money. It would be cruel of you not to take it.
    There have been some excellent pieces of advice given in this thread so far and Chubby's here is especially true. When I first got into working in sales many years ago I had a friend give me some very powerful advice which has stuck to me until this very day. When you are selling something...anything (which applies to bottled water, cars, real estate, big screen TVs, photo copiers, veteranary services, and even lap dances) you need to absolutly believe to your very core that what you are selling is the best...period. When you sincerely believe that then you have a moral OBLIGATION to put it in the hands of your customer. You need to understand here that you're not doing your customer a favor by NOT charging them, you're doing them a DISSERVICE by not charging them. It's important to learn that every time you make a sale you are doing your customer a FAVOR by selling to them and that ultimately they are going to benefit in some way by this sale...you're doing them a favor and as such, you deserve to be financially compensated by this.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
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    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    Everyone has given me such great advice, it's a pleasure to have such a supportive group on SW. Thank you gals/guys! I will apply this tommorow night when I work, I'm going to put the mindsweeper, I'm doing them a favor, they came in on their own free will, and that im offering the best all into perspective.
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    Featured Member Gemini_Syn's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    here is another way to look at it.

    you are the therapist, they come to you to tell you their sob stories, therefore you must be paid.


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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    Okay - is this happening all the time, or just occasionally? Like is this an occasional crisis of conscience, or is it EVERYONE?

    I don't feel sorry for most of my customers, because they aren't really... I mean why? Some of them are, like, unattractive and shit, but there is no real circumstance to cause it, right? When there IS a circumstance to cause it - I would recommend that you DON'T take their money. Like if a guy is all "my wife just died, and I can't stand being alone right now" maybe the "well our VIP is right here" isn't necessary. Just move on. If you're just "Oh - that's so sad that he's so ugly and needs to pay for human contact" - I mean, you can still feel sorry for them, but I don't think you need to feel that you are taking advantage of them.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    oh heck no lol it just happens when their really nice. i hate the Aholes and I will take every dime lol.
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    It might help to remember that we customers know the price, and are looking for someone who is worth it. If you don't believe that you are worth it, why should we? But you don't have to change your personality -- if you are by nature a supportive, empathetic type, there is no reason to hide that. That is part of your worth. Sparring with a hustler who just wants to find the buttons that turn customer X into an ATM might be fun some times (tempting to mention Chrissy by name here . . .) but there are a lot of times when I am looking for someone who has just the kind of empathy you seem to have. You're not taking advantage of me in that case, you are giving me what I am looking for.

  16. #15
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: HELP! My heart is hurting my hustle....

    OK hear me out.

    I too was raised with the Christian-Catholic ideals of compassion and sympathy and "you're a sinner too"...I lived these ideals....They have not really helped me, especially business-wise! Now I'm not saying to turn your back on all of it but you need to use your gut and your past experience to gauge who deserves your good energy...& who doesn't.

    (Sorry, but I've had a few "heart-to-heart" conversations with custies that ended in them throwing mini-tantrums because our "connection" didn't result in free p*ssy with no consequences. MY fault for forgetting where I was....)

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