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Thread: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

  1. #1
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    got this email, cracked me up and had to post it.

    They did better in chem than in English. ACTUAL WRITINGS from hospital charts:

    1. The patient refused an autopsy. (I would too)
    2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
    3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital
    4. Note: patient here recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
    5. Patient
    has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
    7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
    8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
    9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
    10. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
    11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    12. She is numb from her toes down.
    13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
    14. The skin was moist and dry.
    15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
    16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. (Remind me not to use that hospital)
    18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
    19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
    20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. (Somebody was peeking)
    21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    22. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
    23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities (Amen)

    Love it!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    Ha ha ha! Classic!

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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    That was pure gold! That made my day.

  4. #4
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    Kind of reminds me of a little thinking test our instructor gave us in Nursing school.
    She passed out potatoes to everyone. We had to examine the potato, and write down any abnormalities the potato had.

    People said things like, the potato has a bruise, the potato appears to have an ulcer, skin breakdown is evident...

    Well..the whole class failed. FOR A POTATO, it was perfectly normal.

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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    I used to be an orderly in a nursing home, and I actually red this on a chart:

    The patient is having pussy drainage.

    WTF, you say? The nurse meant that pus was draining from a wound.

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    awesome!! I am so putting this up at work!!
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  7. #7
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    omg pussy drainage..

    Love it!

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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    That is too freaking funny....I wonder if there are any such mistakes in my own charts...*goes off to request copies of med records*
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

    ~Che Guevara, "The Motorcycle Diaries"

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    coming from a long family of doctors, I can tell you that this is why physician assistants and nurse practitioners are in high demands. though hilarious, those charts are probably real and if not, probably real mistakes. I have client who complained last night that he saw 48 patients in his 6 hour rounds. he has an OFFICE of physician assistants (7) that are there simply to decipher his chart entries and make the charts accurate. he writes a lot in his logs so they have a lot to do, and he screws up..a LOT. but he has 0 malpract suits. It's crazy to see that stuff in action. imagine the mistakes that come from an ER doc on a busy night. stressful!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: funny actual writings from hospital charts!

    haha, that is too funny!

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