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Thread: Advice?

  1. #1
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Advice?

    Don't think I made a thread on when that dude was harrassing me jogging a month ago? Well, I was jogging... guy pulled over to hit on me... followed me home... was driving around my neighborhood a week and a half later and tried to follow my car as I was leaving my apartment... Showed up at my fucking doorstep TODAY! I couldn't fucking believe my eyes! I gave him the strangest fucking look and just shut the door in his face.

    This plus my ex (plus other stuff that has more to do with my friends than me), plus all that school stuff, plus I'm sick AGAIN...

    "When the shit hits the fan, it REALLY hits the fan." <- Probably one of the truest sayings EVER!

    How long until my life is boring again? Please, I want it to be boring!

    Okay, so I'd like to call the cops on him... but I don't know anything about him... Not even his first name. What should/could I do? Anything??
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  2. #2
    Cally
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    Default Re: Advice?

    I would call the cops and tell them everything thats happening... at least make them aware..

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice?

    yeah, definitely call the cops and let them now. i doubt they can do anything at this point, but at least there will be a history of complaints about this guy if anything else happens.

    and if you see him again you could tell him you've alerted the police; it might scare him off.

    if you have a good relationship with your neighbors/landlord you may also want to give them a heads up and ask them to keep an eye out for suspicious characters lurking around your home.

    be careful! this guy sounds super creepy

  4. #4
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice?

    That. Scares. The BEJESUS out of me. Of course I'm paranoid because I was stalked at one time in my life and it is a LIVING NIGHTMARE. (You're afraid of everything, you can't sleep at night, you won't walk from the house to the mailbox without pepper spray,etc.) If I were you, I would

    1. Stop jogging outside. I know, you LIKE jogging outside, but IT IS NOT SAFE. Don't do it. (I stopped jogging outside when I got hit by a car. Yeah, it sucked. I had to learn the hard way.)

    2. Don't carry a gun if you don't know how to use it. I still think pepper spray is a good idea, but some people insist you need a gun because pepper spray doesn't stop an attacker.

    3. If you can afford it (and you really SHOULD if you can afford it) get security cameras at your house. Then if he rapes and murders you, maybe they'll at least have video footage of your attacker.

    It might seem like I'm over-reacting, but you're a beautiful girl, you've had numerous creepy encounters with the guy, he knows where you live... how many warning signs do you need before you decide to deflect a dangerous situation??? Or would you prefer to wait until after-the-fact?

    At the very least, stop going outside alone. If you don't do something to protect yourself at this point, you really have no one else to blame if something terrible happens. Just be careful hun, ok?

  5. #5
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Advice?

    Keep a camera on you at all times. If he stops by again ...take his pic...if he follows you again..get a pic of his car and license plate. Take those to the cops and file stalking/harrasment charges.They shoul dbe able to find him from his license plate.

  6. #6
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice?

    Oh, sorry- the reason not to carry a gun if you don't know how to use it is because it's very difficult to hit a target under pressure if you haven't practised. So then there are stray bullets flying all over the place, maybe harming innocent people, etc. Also, if an attacker knows you have a gun, he could take it from you and use it against you.

    Gosh hunny, I remember you posting about this before, but this is even MORE alarming! You DO need to take necessary precautions...

    You should go on www.stalkingvictims.com and check out the forums. One is called "Am I being stalked." Post your story there and I'm sure they will give you plenty of useful suggestions.

    As always, GOOD LUCK. And let us know how you decide to handle the situation...

  7. #7
    Veteran Member BmiWMT14's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice?

    All of the above suggestions are excellent ones, especially the camera to take his picture, and or pictures of his Car. I would however call the police TODAY...RIGHT NOW! Get this on record, so the police can start a file, and show a pattern of behavior. I would not confront him directly , as it may force him to react . Let the cops handle all the interactions with him. If he should show up at your house again, and knock on the door, I would go to the door tell him you will be a minute you are getting dressed, and GO CALL THE COPS!
    Bella please be safe.

  8. #8
    BrunetteGoddess
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    If you're really brave, next time he comes around, ask him "Hey, what's your name?" all nice and sweetly. When he tells you, say " Thank you ____. I will be informing the police for a restraining order." and leave. Of course make sure you can leave straight away. That act in itself might scare him off, but you can never be too careful.

    Of course if he seems dangerous, do not bother. Take pictures.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Advice?

    Keep away from the creep but try and get a pic of him if you can ( I hope you have a telephoto lense ) - report his ass . Be careful especially at night whats with these a- hole people !

  10. #10
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice?

    I'm planning on talking to the security at my apartment complex and letting them know what's up. That way, if there are any ex bf's or whatever hanging around, they can scare them off. I think a camera is a good idea if they're not expensive. Maybe a sign on the door that says, "Smile, you're on camera" or something like that?

    I really appreciate everyone's concern! I'm not planning on any more jogging trips. When school's out, I'll have time to hit the gym and I got my guy to agree to regular Sunday hikes.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  11. #11
    madmaxine
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    You need to buy a shotgun & fill it full of salt rock shot. If you're too sweet to maim anyone foolish enough to follow you to your doorstep, you should at least make it a memorable and educational experience for him.

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    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    If you're really brave, next time he comes around, ask him "Hey, what's your name?" all nice and sweetly. When he tells you, say " Thank you ____. I will be informing the police for a restraining order." and leave. Of course make sure you can leave straight away. That act in itself might scare him off, but you can never be too careful.

    Of course if he seems dangerous, do not bother. Take pictures.
    My friend tried to file a restraining order against her ex who threatened her life. Because he had never done her any physical harm that she could prove they couldn't do anything until the day he did come into her house and attack her. I Do think it might not be a bad idea to get his name if he tries something again. Not saying calling the cops isn't a bad idea, and if you can get a pic that would be awesome I agree with others who've said get his plate number if you can and alert your neighbors. Anytime you see him call someone and let them know. Tell them where you are, where you'll be in 15 min, what you're wearing etc. and have them call you back in 15 min to make sure you're ok. If you dont answer they call the cops.

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    You need to buy a shotgun & fill it full of salt rock shot. If you're too sweet to maim anyone foolish enough to follow you to your doorstep, you should at least make it a memorable and educational experience for him.
    I never thought of that!! What's the damage of a shot of salt rock??
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
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  13. #13
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    Default Re: Advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    My friend tried to file a restraining order against her ex who threatened her life. Because he had never done her any physical harm that she could prove they couldn't do anything until the day he did come into her house and attack her.
    i had the same issue. i was getting phone calls, just breathing heavy in my phone, from a blocked number, every other day at the same time for 2 months straight. they stopped, but then the first day i got my landline and no one had the number yet, i got a call, same time, blocked number, heavy breathing. the police wouldnt do anything for me.. not the same since mine were phone calls, but it's hard to get the police involved, they won't do much. calling so it is on record though is a good idea.

    i like roulettes idea of the neighbor thing, and also maybe get mini alarm things for your windows. i have these first alert things on every window in my apt, and they go off if they're separated by the window opening.

  14. #14
    madmaxine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    I never thought of that!! What's the damage of a shot of salt rock??
    Blinding pain & possibly a blood trail for cops to follow (point of reference- Uma Thurman's character gets a chest full of shotgunned salt rock in "Kill Bill"...Mike Madsen's character keeps cracking jokes about it after he does it).... Sorry for being graphic, but it beats the issue of causing serious harm or death to a stalker.

  15. #15
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice?

    Just have sex with him, but be really boring. And also, while you're doing it with him, start farting or something. That should do the trick.

  16. #16
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    ^Lol, thanks. That's GREAT advice.

    Update: Still being harrassed. I called the police, I'm heading over there tomorrow to file that police report (since I don't want them to come here and see my ferret).
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  17. #17
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    Pookah the convict.

    Good luck with the police report. Hopefully it'll stop the freaks from showing up on your doorstep. Stay safe!



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Im glad youre filing a report in case anything happens or to keep the creep away. FFR if they need to relate his behavior to a previous incident/report they can. The more evidence the better.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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  19. #19
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    Default Re: Advice?

    Pepper Spray!! I Always Have It Out Along With My Keys While Im Walkin To My Car.. My Bf Thinks Im Psycho, Bc Everytime Im Driving Alone At Night, Ill Slam My Breaks Thinking Someone Is In The Back Back Part Of My Suv... So The Other Night At His Moms House, Im Opening The Back Door And Something Is Moving Around In My Truck!!! Well My Bf Left The Window Open On His Side And A Cat Jumped Out Of It.. I Was Scared Out Of My Fucking Mind, Esp Since I Always Think Someone Is In There!!! Haha

  20. #20
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Have you actually told him he's creeping you out and it's going to get him nowhere?

    I've found guys like that actually think they're being sweet... O.o;


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  21. #21
    Featured Member LilSweetVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice?

    yeah I think this guy is just really desperate.

    "You have demonic genius" -Naomi Wolf
    "I very much resent it when people - maybe with good intentions or from a progressive point of view - keep telling me, 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches." -Azar Nafisi


  22. #22
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    ^Lol, thanks. That's GREAT advice.

    Update: Still being harrassed. I called the police, I'm heading over there tomorrow to file that police report (since I don't want them to come here and see my ferret).
    Uhm... why cant the cops see your ferret?
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
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  23. #23
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    ^Ferrets are illegal in CA

    Update: He showed up again. I got a plate number off of his car. I drove off and called 911. When I got back home, I called the apartment manager to let her know what his car looks like and the plate number and a description of the guy (to let security know). She recognized the info and said she sees him around all the time and he's really creepy. He wanted a unit next to mine on a month-to-month basis and had filled out an application with a name and number on it. (But, he only approached her when she saw him outside, he never just came to the office.) So, I called the police again and let them know all that info. I have my very own detective now, lol. He took down a bunch of info and he thinks that the guy actually followed me from work and didn't just "happen" to see me jogging (which is particularly creepy, I haven't exactly been keeping up on making sure I'm not followed home). *shrug* Either way, I'm fucking scared but seeing the apartment security guard stationed in front of my place when I got home from school today really makes me feel better.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  24. #24
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan View Post
    Have you actually told him he's creeping you out and it's going to get him nowhere?

    I've found guys like that actually think they're being sweet... O.o;
    I haven't had an opportunity to talk to him... I SHOULD have started screaming at him when he showed up at my door but I was just so surprised that I closed it without saying anything... and then I snapped out of it and started freaking out a few seconds later.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  25. #25
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    ^^^ wow that's really creepy, but great that they're actually seeming to do something for you!! The update post that is... and that's too bad about ferrets... I had three, they're great!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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