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Thread: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

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    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Hi everyone, my name's fifi and I'm kind of new here. I've been reading for a few weeks but this is my first time starting a thread.

    So tonight I agreed to go out to dinner with my regular and another girl from my club. She and I are meeting up ahead of time, then heading to the restaurant together. I've never met a customer outside of the club, and I'm a little nervous. Is there anything I should know? Anything I shoudl keep in mind for safety? Should I have never agreed to this? Or is this really not a big deal at all?

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    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    If your not getting paid to go out to eat with him, then you may be giving him the wrong idea. I call this the "crossover". When a regular now thinks he is your friend. Therefore, entitled to certain privleges and what not. This is not in all cases, but in a lot that I've seen.

    If you are getting paid, don't worry about anything cause another girl is going with you. Just have fun while keeping your guard up. Make sure somebody knows where you are in either scenarios!

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    yeah, I hope you're getting paid because if you're not, you might be kissing your ITC (in the club) money goodbye.

    why is the other girl going? how well do you know her?

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    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Maybe it was a bad idea. But one thing I've gathered from reading the posts here is that my town is a little different than the big cities (I've never danced anywhere else, so I'm just learnign how things differ in different places). Anyway, I'll tell you upfront I work in a smaller town. We don't make as much money per night as girls from big cities, but it's cheap to live here so the income is pretty good for us. Around here, we don't sell a lot of dances, but there's a lot of pressure for guys to tip well on stage- that's where we make most of our money. He's my regular, my only one. Comes in every night I work, tips me well when I come off stage, and buys at least 4 dances from me. The girls I work with say it's a good idea to occasionally "throw a regular a bone" and let him treat you to a meal, to make him feel like you care. I know other girls who do this, and they're regulars keep coming into the club. Most girls said I should do it to keep the regular. One girl said I shouldn't because he seems"too obsessed with me" since he comes in every night I work and that is VERY rare here.

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    I've done it. I had a guy who would pay me good money just to go eat (I would drive and meet him, didn't want him to know where I lived) and then we would go out for drinks somewhere else. At least you have another dancer coming. make sure you meet him wherever it is you are going. don't have him pick you up where you live. And don't go out with him if he's not paying!!!!

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    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Hmmm. I see what you are saying. If I were you, I would try to exit the meal early saying "you need to get to work, cause you need $$$". Thus, showing the regular that you did make an effort to see him, but at the same time putting in his head that you need $.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Whether you work in a small town or a big city, dealing with customers is universal.

    It's a very slippery slope to go OTC with a customer. You have a good thing going ITC and you are giving in to what he wants. So then he realizes that he can get it and might push it. It's hard to go back when you open that door.

    It is possible to do OTC and not lose a customer, but you have to be very good at making it clear that you still have a business relationship.

    The best way to deal with this, imo, is to ask for money for the dinner date. Explain that you are taking time off work for it and you have to take care of your priorities first.

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    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Get comped in some way...I've done this before (just dinner on my own time) & the outcomes were never in my favor. If he balks at compensating you, it's not even worth pursuing period. There's a reason he met you in a SC that has more to do with him than you.

    "Don't give away the candystore."

    Other than that, have a good time & good luck.

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    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    I echo that I hope you are getting paid for your time....if not and you are just "throwing him a bone" so to speak....cut the night short. One of you doesnt feel well..you have to go to work. Give him too much for free and why would he spend any more $$?

    He comes in EVERY night? Just to see you? That does sound a bit obsessive so be careful. Tell several people exactly where you are going and who you are with. Have someone call you when you get to the restaurant( tell them when you will be there or send a text signal when he isnt looking). Then you can say something like "Hey..yeah, I'm at Applebees having dinner with Tiffany and Bob so can i call you later?"
    That tells him that someone else KNOWS where you are AND that he is with you. Just for security sake.

    Who's car are you taking? It relatively easy for him to get your real name, address, etc..from your license plates. Just a thought

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    i also work in a small town, and i know how it his, trying to keep a regular but staying "clean" at the same time.

    just don't ever let him think he is anything more to you than money.

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    no offense to anyone who's done it before, but IMO you are playing a difficult and sometimes even dangerous game. i always tell girls NEVER to meet customers outside of the club.

    #1 you are most likely leading the customer on. this can lead to a world of headache in one way or another in the future

    #2 meeting customers OTC perpetuates the idea that men can come to strip clubs to pick up girls or that the dancers will go out with them. this is the kind of thing that causes a lot of irritation for those of us unwilling to do so. more and more men come in EXPECTING one of us to go out with him and they stop spending good money unless that's at least somewhat an option from the dancer.

    #3 meet up with the wrong person and you could create a stalker situation, or worse. keep in mind that "these days" it can be difficult to tell who the "wrong person" is. plently of seemingly kind-hearted generous men have turned out to be a snake in the grass. don't assume that only stupid girls get stalked/raped/killed/whatever.

    #4 prostitution laws differ all over the country. there are some places where what you are doing could be considered prostitution. YES, even if no sex is actualy involved. i knew a girl who got busted by an undercover for meeting him after the club for drinks. some bullshit about how it could be reasonably suspected that, because of the nature of her work, there was a "promise" of sexual favors for money. she never mentioned sex to him at all, but it didn't matter. not saying your guy is an undercover... but that's not the point either.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    yeah, I hope you're getting paid because if you're not, you might be kissing your ITC (in the club) money goodbye.

    why is the other girl going? how well do you know her?
    Em, how do you ask to get paid to go out to eat??







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    I'm still curious what the other girl is getting out of all this.

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    Em, how do you ask to get paid to go out to eat??
    I explained it a little further down

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    Em, how do you ask to get paid to go out to eat??
    I know this question if for Em, but what I would do is whatever night my reg wanted to go out to eat, I would tell him that I would be skipping work to hang out with him and he needed to pay me what I would normally make on that night. I would of course exaggerate big time. I'd just be like, "well, I really need to work tonight cuz I'm broke...bla bla bla" and he would ask, "well how much do you think you'd make if you went to work tonight"

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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Em, how do you ask to get paid to go out to eat??
    Actually, I'd like to hear a few lines as well. I have a reg. that always wants to take me shopping, but I'd really like him to spend a hundred or so on me, and also give me a hundred in cash to make it worth it to me. I don't know how to say that though. I mean, I know how to say it, but would like a classy, cute way that has worked for someone else.
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

  16. #16
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    Em, how do you ask to get paid to go out to eat??
    IF you are going to do it...you just say "gee..i wish i could, but I have to work. I cant afford to take a night off to have fun"

    And of course you have no time before or after work because of school, kids, whatever....

    Either he says "oh..thats too bad" in which case you know he wont pay and he knows you wont go or he says "well..i'd really like you to go...how about if I give you the $200 or whatever you would make?" Then you both know that he WILL pay for your time.


    That said...I agree it is a dangerous and slippery slope to go OTC and I dont recommend it for many reasons

  17. #17
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    Whether you work in a small town or a big city, dealing with customers is universal.

    It's a very slippery slope to go OTC with a customer. You have a good thing going ITC and you are giving in to what he wants. So then he realizes that he can get it and might push it. It's hard to go back when you open that door.

    It is possible to do OTC and not lose a customer, but you have to be very good at making it clear that you still have a business relationship.

    The best way to deal with this, imo, is to ask for money for the dinner date. Explain that you are taking time off work for it and you have to take care of your priorities first.
    This is exactly what I would do. Say well, I would love to meet you for dinner, but I have to work that night, and I can't afford to take off. If you would like me to take off work to go out with you, I'd love to, but I need compensated for my time away from work. Normally, I would make XX amount of money at work, and I need to get at least that much to meet you.

    You don't need to "throw your regular a bone" Noone gets anything in life for free, and that includes girls/lapdances/strip clubs. You forget, you are selling a product, and that product is NEVER free. If your a regular in a restraunt....do you expect to get a free meal once in awhile?

    As for safety tips....Meet him there. In the restruant. When it's time to leave, leave before him, say good bye in the restruant, not outside by the car. Preferably, he never sees your car, what kind you drive, or yoru plate number. But...make srue you see what he is driving. That way, if yoru beign followed by him, you'll know it. Either way...Dont go straight home afetr. Go to the mall or to work or something. Just in case he is following you, you dont want him to know where you live.
    MAke sure someone knows where you are, and when your expected to be home.

    Good luck.

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    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Well, I don't actually drive. Our exit strategy is to say we have plans to meet up with a girlfriend who's going through a rough time and needs some support. Then we'll walk away together (in a safe, heavily populated area) to a nearby bookstore, hang out for awhile, and call a cab from there.

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    I flat out tell him the rate to spend time OTC. Ex. 8 dances = $200.00/1hr.
    Maybe say "I'd love to go out to dinner and make a night out of it. Since I'm not working and I love spending time w/ you lets do 3 hrs. for $500! Reasonable for a small town. He is getting private time w/ you OTC at his choice.

    You are taking time from YOUR schedule, spending $ on clothes, make-up, driving there on your own (hopefully)w/ your gas and your car & entertaining him.

    Does an attorney go to dinner for free? No
    Every other profession will bill you, but we ladies feel manipulated to spend time w/ these guys for free. Fuck that.

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    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Emily, here's how the other girl got involved.

    So, my reg kept asking me let him take me out to dinner. I sort of hummed and hawed and "oh gosh, so busy..." etc. He never buys dances from the other girl, but tips her when she gets off stage, so she'll chat him up once in awhile when I'm int he bathroom or something. Anyway, she complained about an unexpected bill and joked she'd be eating ramen for the week until it was paid off. He said he'd be happy to take her to a nice dinner. Since she knows he's my reg and didn't want to step on toes, she said she wanted to talk to me about it. Then, in private, she suggested we could both go if I was interested. I felt a lot better going with another girl, so I agreed. She just seems psyched to be eating at one of the best restaurants in town (she's not the type who would allow herself to splurge on something like that). Yeah, it'd be great if we were getting paid. Next time someone asks I'll do the whole "Gee, I'm so busy, I'd have to take time off work" hint that I'd need to be compensated thing.

  21. #21
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Just dont be surprised if he wants to make it a regular thing...or starts asking about other "dates" wher eyou two can be alone....and gettting offended when you wont go.

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    If you wanna "throw him a bone", buy him a drink at the club. Don't give away your time for free.

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    I guess I must be lucky. I have one regular who I will sometimes see OTC. At first it wasn't on purpose, he just happend to show up at the pub my friends and I were at. He bought me drinks and we all hung out. He still came in and bought dances afterward. A feww months later, he offered to treat me to a hockey game and dinner which I accepted. It has been almost a year since he first became my reg, and he still spends money on me. But I also treat him a little different too, I make usre he knows I appreciate him spending by doing little things for him like baking him his favorite cookies on occasion. He KNOWS I'm engaged and there is NO chance of a hook-up and he is cool with that. I am the exception to the "never see a reg OTC".

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    i dont want to sound like a dumb bitch but your in a small town meeting a obsesed guy at the best steakhouse in town and your exit strategy is to walk to a bookstore? for free? fuck that!

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    Default Re: Having Dinner with a customer- help!?

    Just from the perspective of a humble customer I would be more upset if a girl asked to be paid to have an expensive meal with me than if she had just said no in the first place. There are 2 of you going so he is not likely to get too amorous so I would just relax and try to enjoy the evening, he he turns out to be a total bore say no next time. If you enjoy the night say yes.

    In the past I used to take several pub strippers from London out for meals, with some it lead to a more serious relationship, with most it did not. If I liked a girls company I carried on taking them out odd nights even if it was not going anywhere. I accept that the girls are there to make money but just because there is a financial relationship involved inside the club does not mean you can't be friendly. I'd always known the girls for months before I asked them so I think they were not worried about me turning into sex crazzed monster and came alone.

    Tyke

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