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Thread: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

  1. #26
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen124 View Post
    yea I probably won't tell mine until I have bought a house or something monumental.. not sure why, it just doesn't feel right yet.
    Well, I think I am going to tell my mom. I hate having to make up lies that I'm working as a temp here and there..I hate lying to her. I'm also 24, so I'm a big girl. I think I'll tell her after I buy my car lol..That way I can say, "see this is what stripping got me" lol..and plus she already knows a friend and I are going into business together. So it's not like that money will just poof up in the air ya know. We shall see. Gimme a couple more months and I'll let her know.







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  2. #27
    sun child
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    I mentioned to my younger brother once that I was thinking about stripping and he immediately told my mom! (Thanks broseph.) She called me horrified and I laughed it off as a joke. My mom only knows about my day job and that's how it's going to stay.

  3. #28
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Couldnt tell my parents. They are VERY religious and my father isnt well. Why tell them something i KNOW will upset them and start an argument very probably resulting in us never speaking again.
    I'm all for truth...but not at that expense.
    Now that I am in magazines and film...I accept the slim(they lead a very sheltered life)possibility they will find out and I will cross that bridge if and when it comes. But I will not bring the bridge to me.

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    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    My whole family knows. My dad is in his 70's, and he says as long as I'm not hooking or putting all my money up my nose, that it's not his business. He's cool like that.
    My mother is a totally different story. She's very negative towards me, and basically treats me like I am less than human. Like, she's made me cry on more than one occasion, and I never go home because of it. I think the last time I went home (October 2006) I was there about 10 minutes before she had me in tears. I don't know if it's because she's a shrink or what, but it's been 4 years now, and she's still hung up on it.

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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen124 View Post
    yea I probably won't tell mine until I have bought a house or something monumental.. not sure why, it just doesn't feel right yet.
    ha, i'm about to buy a house and already bought a car and I'm still no closer to telling my family.

  6. #31
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Some of you were around a few years back when my father found out. He called me a whore and disowned me. We didn't speak for months. Finally, with some manipulation and clever lies, I got it swept under the rug. Hooray for dysfunctional family miscommunication.

    I was visiting with my brother last week, and strippers got into our conversation. He wouldn't stop going on and on about how he can't stand strippers, how they are always so full of drama and had a baby-daddy in jail. He said they are so awesome in bed but then they go crazy. Believe me, by the time he was at that part of was covering my ears running away from him yelling "shutup, TMI, TMI!"

    So...no, not my family. They will never know about that part of me.

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    Veteran Member toomuchhomeworklately's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Wow. I'm surprized. I told my mom after I'd been dancing for about 6 months. I begged her not to tell my dad, but she did, of course. They're both cool with it. My mom has told me, "Make as much money as you can while you're still cute & thin." My dad doesn't want to talk about it as much but he did ask me recently "hey, did you make that 2 grand you needed last week?" So I think he's warming up to it.

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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    My parents STILL don't know. They know I work in a strip club, but don't know I dance. I know a lot of relatives know I dance, but it's an uspoken subject when we're all together.

  9. #34
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Well, when I first started I was going to audition at a nude club and I was so nervous. A couple hours before I was supposed to go, I was all ready and sitting in the living room watching TV with my mom and I blurted it out. She was fine with it, we didn't tell Dad though.

    Then I moved out with a boyfriend, was with him a couple months, and then decided to break up with him. So I did and then got together with another guy who was one of my drivers for an escort agency. Then our company got raided and we lost our jobs (I was so naiive, don't get me started on that). So I called my mom asking her to let me come home because the new guy didn't have anywhere to take me either. At that time I had another audition at the nude place (chickened out the first time), and she said I could come home as long as I didn't dance there. I eventually agreed so that I could have a place to live.

    Then after a while I got up the guts to start dancing, but I started telling my parents that I waitressed at a SC. Eventually, I told my mom the truth, and she was like "Hey, go make some good money!" and was cool with it. Dad, not so much, but didn't get angry. I found out though that he had started joking and making mean comments behind my back about me stripping to his friends. I tried confronting him, and he basically told me "Well if you don't like it, stop dancing. It's not a respectable profession." Apparently my mom also told my grandma. Bleh. She wasn't thrilled either.

    Once I moved out to live with R, things were OK. I had stopped dancing for a while. Once R and I started having big problems, I wanted to move back home, and they told me I can move back home, but I cannot be a stripper under their roof.

    So that's where we are. I'm fine with R now, but it's pretty obvious they don't want me doing it, so I don't tell.

  10. #35
    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    this is something thats bothered me... i'm just starting, but i'm already spinning the web of lies to my parents, not tellign them that last job didn't hire me, so that worst case i can say they DID and say thats my income if i manage to get a good gig stripping... I have a feelign that this WOULD get me disowned-my dad already came VERY close to disowning me for something VERY minor, and its only recently that we've been able to semi-talk to each other again. i spent a year of my life writing notes to him, because i refused to talk around him or to him. And he still hasn't apologized, so i know that this would only dredge up bad memories, and more insults. I don't need that. THis is why i live on the other side of the country.

    I don't trust my mom not to tell my dad, even though SHE herself would get over being upset, and thus i figure that this is somethign i shall take to my grave.

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    Veteran Member A.n.a.l.a.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    yeesh! my mom threw a bitch fit when i mentioned i was considering waitressing at a stripclub! as in uniform! but *sigh* i'll ruin my future- the future that i'll some miraculously salvage within a year after all my school dismissals and shit... i think she's just jealous lol. we also argued about porn but that's another thread lol....

  12. #37
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    A moment that could either be greatly appreciated or scar me for life -

    Pooka , just before going off to college, tromping through her parents house in her moms retired favorite pair of stripper shoes and the $300 gown her regular bought her (don't worry it wasn't revealing)....when she had these items in use I was in elementary school.....

    Pookas parents laughing and clapping as their shell zooms around the house showing off her great skill at 8 inch heels.

    Yeah....currently my mom is a nurse and my step dad is a surgical technician kinda thing....but they are an ex stripper and ex strip club DJ.....

    So they weren't hard to be honest with.

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    Featured Member blondi553's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    ^^wow never would have guessed! you r one lucky girl pooka to have such a cool family lol

  14. #39
    Veteran Member Minette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    My parents both seemed fine with it, not thrilled, but okay. I found out after four years or so my mother isn't, now we haven't spoken in years. Mind you, I found out at the same time that she wasn't okay with me being a lesbian either, after I'd been out for eight year. Stupid passive-aggression. Anyway, I've always thought that if she did agree to even talk about the issue, I'd have her read selected passages from Whores and Other Feminists It's an awesome book and has some stuff on stripping and the sex industry in general, as related to feminism, that is very compelling. There's a couple of other books as well that I can't immediately call to mind. I don't know that it would solve anything, but it's one of the only things I've been able to think of to do.
    Dear Lord, save us from those thy children who speak without thought, and protect them also from the rotten tomatoes they shall thereafter receive in the kisser.

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    Senior Member burnedrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    my dad found out via my sister, who found out by my myspace page.

    My dad is disappointed, which hurts, but he said that if I ever need his support he'll be there for me. If your parents get upset, just know that they love you and care for you and that is why they get upset. If they didnt love you, they wouldnt care so much - they just dont want you to go down the road of drugs and abusive behavior!
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  16. #41
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    I am 27 years old and i don't care at all what my parents think i don't live to impress them or for there approvel. But i don't have good family releships my parent divorced when i was 18 and left my sister and I to fend for our selves they were done being parents so I am done careing what they think.

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    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Stripping has undeniably put a permanent scar on my family's relationship with me. Before dancing, I was immensely close to my whole family -extended included. Extended family (aunts, grandparents, etc) were NOT understanding. They were disgusted. Now, my mom and her two sisters don't even speak anymore. My mom also cannot understand anything about why I did it. It comes up in convo and she'll say "you'll never know what I went through." I think it sucks and it causes me guilt that I will take to the grave with me.
    Strangely enough, my father was supportive. He said he hated the job but our relationship never suffered because of my decision to dance.
    For me, letting my family down was the #1 worst thing about becoming a dancer.

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Years ago, right after I had my daughter, my parents found out that I was dancing. It was unbelievably horrid. My dad made me feel terrible for years, calling me every name in the book and telling me I broke my mom's heart. He also wrote me this horrible letter in which he poured guilt onto me like cement. After a while it stopped coming up in conversation, but the relationship was very strained. Then I eventually stopped and got a "real" job and they were happy with that.

    This time around I'm not saying anything about it. I don't want to go through that again.
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    Featured Member yogibear179's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    wow pooka thats awseome =D
    as for me, i mentioned possibly working at Hooters and my mom freaked outtt!
    She freaks out about anything like that. My cousin dated a stripper and we became really close. She would "dress me up" and we had so much fun together. Basically she was really sweet.
    My mom found out what she did and didnt want me around her anymore. Idk maybe its becasue shes asian XD

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    Veteran Member hearts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    I told my mom, and she thought it was great, especially when I told her about how much $ I was making...but she's a wild lady compared to the rest of my family. For now, she's the only one that knows I dance. Eventually, I want to own a club. I'll likely have to explain how I got into the industry then. I expect a lot of drama, but I don't care--everyone in my family is screwy anyway, drug addictions, alcoholism, mental breakdowns, secrets, indescretions....I am the only semi-normal one in my book!

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    I can't allow someone's ignorance to make me feel guilty or control my life. If I date a black guy and my parents are disappointed, am I going to give a rat's ass that I "let them down?" No. They let ME down.

  22. #47
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Wow, I'm amazed that so many strong, intelligent women came from such judgemental households...You all must have gotten the good recessive genes...

    My dad & uncle have been the "coolest" about my job because they actually know what it's like to sacrifice & break their asses for a living...None of my other relatives have ever had to step outside of their comfort zone to get by.

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    I can't allow someone's ignorance to make me feel guilty or control my life. If I date a black guy and my parents are disappointed, am I going to give a rat's ass that I "let them down?" No. They let ME down.
    I thought you said that you hadn't told your dad because you knew he'd have a bad reaction?

    I can be made to feel guilty very easily. Not sure why.
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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    Yeah I told my dad about 2 weeks after I started. He was NOT happy but after a while he got over it. I think he was more worried that I'd fall into trouble like drugs and other illegal stuff than anything else. But after a while, he and my stepmom started to appreciate the fact that I (unlike my stepbrother who is only 10 months younger than me) paid my own bills and drove a nicer car than them Where my brothers always have and always will depend on mommy and daddy to bail them out financially, I have not asked for or received a dime from them in almost 18 years. That kind of thing does wonders for how they view the job.

    My grandparents on the other hand, oh hell no. I haven't ever and won't ever. I am closer with them than any other family (haven't seen or talked to either of my parents for years now but that's a whole 'nother story), and I care more about my grandparents. They would be devastated - they're way old-fashioned. And considering they're now in their 80s and I'd rather have all the good time with them I can, I'm keeping my trap shut.
    Last edited by Bridgette; 05-04-2007 at 02:17 PM.

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    Veteran Member Rockette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?

    It really depends if your parents will get over it or not. My parents have adopted the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, but I know my father is appreciative that I am much more financially independent of them than my brother. I've never asked my father for a dime since I went off to college, although he still tries to pay for the entire "family vacation" we take every August by himself.

    Like Bridgette, I would NEVER EVER tell my grandmother about my decision to dance. My aunt found out somehow and still refuses to talk to me, and when she has something to say to me, she just says it in general to everyone around the room. It doesn't matter though, no one in our family cares for her much, and there's a reason why she's 47 now, still lives with her mom (my grandmother) and has never been married. I could care less what she thinks.

    Come to think of it, she probably has told my grandmother. She's never said anything to me though.
    Isocrates: “Democracy destroys itself because it abuses its right to freedom and equality. Because it teaches its citizens to consider audacity as a right, lawlessness as a freedom, abrasive speech as equality, and anarchy as progress.”

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