Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 33

Thread: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

  1. #1
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,469
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    I had a good regular for almost nine months.... he usually came in every week or every two weeks with a minimum of a grand each time.. He was such a nice guy... i hardly every danced for the guy.. he just wanted to chill and talk and drink.... Anyways, so i took a month off bc of a death in the family and to go on vacation... I come back and hes allready found a new girl at the club.. this girl is one thats been there a while, knows the game, and is very very sly and sneaky.. He always used to bitch about her, had nothing but awful things to say about her... The thing is, I feel like a fucking idiot, because i had no idea he was coming in on my day off to see her... Its crazy.. I realize that all customers have a shelf life, and obviously mine is to that point, but its just upsetting.. Its upsetting, because i really thought he was into me, and wanted to continue to see me at the club.... Then i find out hes lying and making all these random exscuses why he can't come to the club.... I guess i just want some kind of closure to the situation, or for him to at least be straight up and tell me whats up.... And i realize its his money, he can do what he want with it, spend it on whomever....... I'm just at the point where i don't even want to have contact with him, if he keeps blowing me off.... in a way i think i can still get something out of him, but i know im better than that.. im not going to beg him to come in and press him anymore...... its just not worth it...Sorry, the whole situation is just upsetting... i guess i need to deal with it, and take it for what it was worth..... any advice?

  2. #2
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Shit that sucks, he was such a good spender and not getting dances - the perfect regular IMO.

    But yeah they do have a self-life that's just the reality of it.

    I dont know what to suggest. You could ignore him when he comes to the club - but that might make it worse even.

  3. #3
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,469
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    this guy was my first regular so i guess i learned my lesson... regulars aren't forever..... they all come and go.... its the harsh reality i guess...

  4. #4
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Yeh I have recently lost a really great spender too
    For him he kept pressuring me to meet OTC and it became apparent to him that it wasnt gonna happen. He then told me he cant afford to keep coming to see me ITC and gave me the old "I'd rather see you outside of this place".

    Except in exceptional cases, they start wanting more and more and ITC no longer satisfies them as it used to.

    A dancer at my club has had a regular for 8 years - amazing.

  5. #5
    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Houston,Tx
    Posts
    1,522
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 136 Times in 79 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by KamrynAnne View Post
    Its upsetting, because i really thought he was into me, and wanted to continue to see me at the club.... Then i find out hes lying and making all these random exscuses why he can't come to the club.... I guess i just want some kind of closure to the situation, or for him to at least be straight up and tell me whats up....
    ...then its more than just the money to you and thats sweet. Seems strippers have a shelf life to him. He'll move on to another girl soon enough.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

  6. #6
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    9,746
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 50 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Aw. Do you know what? It's rough because you feel you've been ditched for someone who isn't as good as you. If it had been someone way cuter or something (although I still think we most of us have a complete block on the fun and charming front - another girl may be prettier, but there is NO WAY she is more charming) then you would understand it; this way it is just seriously wounding to your ego. Is that wrong? Like do you really want either a "good bye" or a "so, I've moved on" or do you want an answer to "what do you see in her? Why is she better than me?"
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  7. #7
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    3,233
    Thanks
    100
    Thanked 43 Times in 30 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    that custy seems like a real ass wipe i mean if he sneaks around to cheat on his fav dancer with out being a honest with her what the hell is like with women in his real life.

  8. #8
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Two things you can do- wait & see if he gets tired of his current dancer & comes back (not too likely)

    Or you can just write it off...Men should be flattered that dancers could actually feel this way...But in the end men come to the club for the Experience. The "One Girl Only" regular is either a total Romantic...Or a Stalker...

  9. #9
    Lola Rose
    Guest

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    It's his money, you said it yourself.

    You just need to get over it, focus on finding new, better customers, and forget about it.

    In my club, we have a few guys that circulate. They choose a new girl every few months, and that's just the way it is. Sometimes girls are offended or put off, but it's the nature of the biz. And you know what, sometimes it happens that they cycle back around!

  10. #10
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,469
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    thanks guys for all your advice.... I think the biggest thing is him just being honest and not lying and about the other dancer.. I mean are we 15 years old here.. I guess in a way i have no right to be upset... i think im at the point where i just won't have contact with him.. i guess if he wants to come back, he eventually will....

  11. #11
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,469
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Aw. Do you know what? It's rough because you feel you've been ditched for someone who isn't as good as you. If it had been someone way cuter or something (although I still think we most of us have a complete block on the fun and charming front - another girl may be prettier, but there is NO WAY she is more charming) then you would understand it; this way it is just seriously wounding to your ego. Is that wrong? Like do you really want either a "good bye" or a "so, I've moved on" or do you want an answer to "what do you see in her? Why is she better than me?"
    kinda both.. i think he owes it to me to tell me whats going on.... i thought i was a good friend to him.... i just think its wrong for him to lie.....

  12. #12
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    It's lame of him to lie, but if I were you, I'd just forget it and move on. You're not going to teach him a lesson, and you're not going to get an answer from him that satisfies you. Don't waste the mental effort. Just stop contacting him and let that be that. If you see him in the club, smile and wave, that's all.

    I do sympathize, though. It's wierd when a long-time customer dumps you. This happened to me recently, and the guy still comes in, but treats me like a pariah. If I even walk up to say hi, he gets all nervous and weird and acts like he wants to hide. This happened really suddenly, and I have no idea why -- if I said or did anything wrong, I didn't know it at the time. It's super-awkward, though, because if he walks past me he won't even say anything and will pretend not to see me, and I have to pretend I don't see him either. Lame.

  13. #13
    Featured Member gameover's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Posts
    784
    Thanks
    132
    Thanked 246 Times in 106 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by KamrynAnne View Post
    I had a good regular for almost nine months.... he usually came in every week or every two weeks with a minimum of a grand each time.. He was such a nice guy... i hardly every danced for the guy.. he just wanted to chill and talk and drink.... Anyways, so i took a month off bc of a death in the family and to go on vacation... I come back and hes allready found a new girl at the club.. this girl is one thats been there a while, knows the game, and is very very sly and sneaky.. He always used to bitch about her, had nothing but awful things to say about her... The thing is, I feel like a fucking idiot, because i had no idea he was coming in on my day off to see her... Its crazy.. I realize that all customers have a shelf life, and obviously mine is to that point, but its just upsetting.. Its upsetting, because i really thought he was into me, and wanted to continue to see me at the club.... Then i find out hes lying and making all these random exscuses why he can't come to the club.... I guess i just want some kind of closure to the situation, or for him to at least be straight up and tell me whats up.... And i realize its his money, he can do what he want with it, spend it on whomever....... I'm just at the point where i don't even want to have contact with him, if he keeps blowing me off.... in a way i think i can still get something out of him, but i know im better than that.. im not going to beg him to come in and press him anymore...... its just not worth it...Sorry, the whole situation is just upsetting... i guess i need to deal with it, and take it for what it was worth..... any advice?
    i'd blame jenny, she's anti regular

  14. #14
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    123 Tornado Alley Way, Hooterville USA
    Posts
    6,322
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    It can be a little hard for a guy to be upfront and honest about wanting to move on from a dancer he likes. I mean, its not like you did anything wrong. Its just that in his eyes another gal came along and was doing it a little bit better.

    And truthfully, she probably isn't doing it any better. He just perceives that because she's a different dancer. He'll eventually "dump" her too when yet another dancer strikes his fancy.

    I know you want closure, but there's nothing wrong with going over and saying hi. It might refresh his memory a bit.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  15. #15
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2003
    Posts
    8,351
    Thanks
    85
    Thanked 342 Times in 244 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Mellow

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Kamryn, while you were gone for that month, did you stay in touch with him via email or phone? Was he aware of the reason for your absence or did you just disappear? How did you learn that he was coming in on your day off to see this other dancer?

    The reason I'm asking is that I'm in a long term dancer relationship (3 yrears) and I have trouble understanding why your guy would dump something that obviously had been very enjoyable and fulfilling for him for a long time.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  16. #16
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    2,998
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 64 Times in 43 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Perhaps he found himself feeling too serious about you and realized that he should not be getting serious about a dancer, and so he is distancing himself from you. The way he is doing it does not sound particularly mature, so perhaps you are better off without him anyway. I bet you can find someone else who will pay you for your time, enjoy themselves, and not be a creep about it.

  17. #17
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by krchab99 View Post
    that custy seems like a real ass wipe i mean if he sneaks around to cheat on his fav dancer with out being a honest with her what the hell is like with women in his real life.
    Please don't act on crap advise like this. Fact is that most regular customers have 10x the emotional involvement with a girl than the girl has with them.

    If you left the club for a month and didn't bother to call him once with quick message on your situation, sorry.

    Amazing that girls think that customers are beholden to them. If you have a nice regular, treat him like preferred custoner or be prepared to lose him to someone.

  18. #18
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    ^
    yeh i think that most customers would be the ones who were attached than the dancer would me. I think u have a point there, u dont have to attack the other poster tho.

  19. #19
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    I think there's a whole spectrum of types of regulars.

    At one end of the spectrum is "Mr Pragmatic", who treats it purely as escapism and is happy to come in, spend a pretty standard amount of money on each visit and get what he's after, be enjoyable lap dancers or just conversation/company.

    At the other end of the spectrum is "Mr Deluded", who thinks the girl is his ideal partner, and if he just spends enough money he can get her away from 'all of this' and live happily ever after.

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    A dancer at my club has had a regular for 8 years - amazing.
    Mr Pragmatic? If it suits both sides, why not? One thing though - I'll bet both sides are pretty realistic about the whole situation.

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    Yeh I have recently lost a really great spender too
    For him he kept pressuring me to meet OTC and it became apparent to him that it wasnt gonna happen. He then told me he cant afford to keep coming to see me ITC and gave me the old "I'd rather see you outside of this place".
    And welcome to Mr Deluded. In the end reality bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by KamrynAnne View Post
    I had a good regular for almost nine months.... he usually came in every week or every two weeks with a minimum of a grand each time.. Anyways, so i took a month off bc of a death in the family and to go on vacation...
    Mr Deluded as well. I think when you took a month off, he realised that maybe the predominant consideration in your relationship was money - he then took himself off to anther relationship where:

    Quote Originally Posted by KamrynAnne View Post
    this girl is one thats been there a while, knows the game, and is very very sly and sneaky...
    He's gone back to being Mr Deluded, just he's found another girl who's being very careful to pander to his illusions.

    Quote Originally Posted by KamrynAnne View Post
    Sorry, the whole situation is just upsetting... i guess i need to deal with it, and take it for what it was worth..... any advice?
    I think you've got to realie this guy is history and he's not going to become your regular again.

    When reality bit, he suddenly realised that the $$$'s he spent on you were never going to buy him your friendship OTC and he felt a fool.

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR View Post
    Kamryn, while you were gone for that month, did you stay in touch with him via email or phone? Was he aware of the reason for your absence or did you just disappear? FBR
    Probably the key question - if you just disappeared off his radar he probably began to question how important he really was to you. Maybe regular e-mails would have kept him on board.

    But, hey, life's a learning experience.

    He was your first regular, and next time round you'll play the game a little better won't you?

    Phil.

  20. #20
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    4,967
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    are you still at diamonds? if so i think i know who you were talking about and he was my regular too. i miss his ass and still call him to see how he is doing.

    he is a hell of a catch!

  21. #21
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,469
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    are you still at diamonds? if so i think i know who you were talking about and he was my regular too. i miss his ass and still call him to see how he is doing.

    he is a hell of a catch!
    not it is not L.... its someone else.. i don't even work at diamonds anymore... i doubt you know this guy... are u moving back to oh then?

  22. #22
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,469
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    I need to clarify a few things.. while i was gone for a month i did in fact keep in touch with him... I talked to him a good ammount of times as well as many text messages....

  23. #23
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    ^^^^

    Ah ha...

    I suspect he was addicted to his little fix of nudity, and when you weren't about to supply it, he looked for alternatives.

    If this guy was known as a free spending regular I'll guess half the girls in your club homed in on him like heat (or money) seeking missiles in your absence.

    I think your only fault was not to be about (and you had overridingly good reasons not to be).

    You're obviously a little bit upset by this, but please remember us guys are fickle.

    He was a good customer to you, but that's different from being a good friend. Outside of the club, he's irrelevent to you, and that's the only place you've really got to be concerned about what people think of you.

    If he's moved on from you, it's because he's disengaged from your "stripper personality", but because it's doubtful he ever knew the real KamyrnAnne, that's no reflection on the real life you.

    Phil.

  24. #24
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    4,967
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    more then likly he will get tired fo her and go back to you. just keep smiling and waving in the mean time.

  25. #25
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Boston MA
    Posts
    5,670
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 144 Times in 74 Posts

    Default Re: Saying Goodbye to a Regular

    ^ What JZ said. I can recall last year one of my ATFs (and I mean one of the all-time ATFs) just up and left one day with nary a word. No one knows where she went, not even some of her friends at the club. We were regularly chatty via email and then nothing.

    Unfortunate, but part of the reality of the SC environment.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Just said goodbye to regular RIL
    By jaizaine in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-27-2008, 09:08 AM
  2. Telling your regular dancer goodbye....
    By poriland4 in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 03-30-2006, 08:19 PM
  3. Goodbye Everyone!
    By VADEN in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 05-12-2005, 09:56 PM
  4. Goodbye
    By LauraLove in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-05-2005, 02:49 PM
  5. Be sure to say goodbye
    By sallylou in forum General Board
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 05-19-2003, 02:22 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •