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Thread: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Thank you!!

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Thank you for starting this thread.

    Pandys.org <--- peer to peer web based forum for support

    Most college campuses have a domestic violence or survivors advocacy groups. They can assist you on many levels but most importantly in legal matters such as filing a restraining order. An amazing and usually free resource, even if you may not be an enrolled student.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiepunkshocker View Post
    There have been a few rapes and sexual assults reported on SW since Ive been here and probably more unreported so I thought Id put together this list of basics - What to do if youve been sexually assalted and how to help someone whos been sexually assulted. Maybe people could add a list of resorces?



    • Seek medical attention as soon as possible. You may have hidden injuries and also may need to explore options for preventing pregnancy or STDs. Drugs used for emergency contraception and to prevent HIV and STDs have a limited time window within which to work.
    • Seeking medical attention will also allow you to have evidence collected – and you don’t have to decide whether or not to prosecute now. Having evidence collected within 72 hours gives you the option later to decide.
      • You can have someone accompany you to an emergency room, either by taking a friend, calling a rape crisis center hotline.
      • Don’t take a shower or change clothes or brush your teeth – although this is likely very difficult to do, it preserves evidence that can be used later if you decide to press charges. The evidence needs to be collected within 72 hours.
    • Get support – this is not something you should have to go through alone. Talk to friends you feel safe with, make an appointment to talk to someone, contact the rape crisis center to talk. It is not unusual to face a myriad of reactions, including depression, anxiety, fear, difficulty trusting others, self-harming behaviors, among many, many others. Some people may experience reactions immediately, others may seem to function fine immediately but have reactions long after the event occurred. Everyone reacts differently. Getting help can help reduce the impact of the assault on your life.
    • Take care of yourself – you have been through a traumatic event and it’s vitally important to attend to your physical and emotional health needs as you cope and recover.

    • If you decide not to press charges, consider having a proxy report completed. This is an anonymous way to report a sexual assault that will not result in charges being pressed, but allows your story to be heard.
    • REMEMBER – YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME, REGARDLESS OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES. NOTHING YOU COULD DO (E.G., DRESS PROVOCATIVELY, DRINK TOO MUCH, HAVE HAD SEX WITH THE PERSON BEFORE, ETC. ETC.) WARRANTS SOMEONE SEXUALLY ASSAULTING YOU.




    How To Help Someone Whos Been Sexually Assulted.

    Listen to her* story when she’s ready to tell it. Avoid “why” questions – she’s likely to be asking herself enough of them already. Show her you want to listen.

    Believe her story – she really needs your support now. People rarely lie about sexual assault.

    Emphasize this was not her fault. No one deserves to be sexually assaulted, no matter what they did/wore/said.

    Encourage her to get medical treatment.

    Let her decide who to tell; this is not your story to share.

    Encourage her to talk to a counselor, and let her decide when to seek help.

    Let her decide whether to report it to the authorities. Her deciding helps her to take control back.

    Let her express her feelings – and realize that they’re not aimed at you.

    Remember that everyone responds differently, some experience the effects of sexual assault more immediately afterwards, others experience longer-term effects. Accept her where she is.

    Take care of yourself while helping her. It can be very difficult to support someone through such a traumatic event, and you may need to seek help for yourself.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    IF THE ASSAULT JUST OCCURRED
    • Make sure they are safe.
    • Help them get the medical attention they need.
    • Offer to be with them or call someone they want to stay with them
    • Offer to call the police to report the rape. Reporting the assault does not mean you must prosecute, but it will ensure the availability of that option in the future, should the survivor so decide.
    Offer to call for rape advocate services. This will allow an objective, supportive person to assist her in dealing with the immediate issues of the trauma.

    AT ANY TIME - IMMEDIATELY AFTER OR MUCH LATER
    • As a friend, it is important that you LISTEN to what the survivor tells you. Sometimes assault victims need to talk about the attack.
    • Allow the survivor the freedom to choose when, where and how to talk about the trauma.
    • Be supportive: BELIEVE the survivor. People rarely make up stories about being sexual assault survivors. Reinforce that the survivor is not to blame. Avoid using words that imply blame.
    • Be sensitive: Let the person know that you do not subscribe to any of the common myths about sexual assault. Understand that the person has suffered extreme humiliation. Let them know that you do not see them as defiled or immoral.
    • Be patient. Recovery from rape trauma is slow. Let the person proceed at their own pace.
    • Realize that you have strong feelings about the trauma. If needed, seek counseling for yourself. Avoid communicating your biases and negative emotions to the survivor.
    • Remember that whatever the rape victim did to survive the attack was exactly what he or she needed to do. The victim did not cause the attack and is not at fault.
    DON’T:
    • DON’T PRESSURE her to make any decision she’s not comfortable with.
    • DON’T ASK BLAMING QUESTIONS, such as “why were you dressed like that?” or “why did you go to that party?” Victims of assault tend to blame themselves, even though it is NEVER THE VICTIM’S FAULT. Other things not to say include “why didn’t you fight him off”, and “didn’t you know you were leading him on?”
    • DON’T encourage her to “PUT THE PAST BEHIND” her or just “get on” with her life. Survivors of sexual assault need to heal on their own time. It can be hard for a friend, partner or parent to watch, but repressing symptoms will only make it harder for the survivor to truly heal.
    Hey! Thanks for sharing it.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    I have been sexually abused a few years ago, unfortunately in Latin America services and help is horrible.

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