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Thread: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

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    Member Lana Knight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Raising awareness about rape and sexual assault is so important to this community. I've read somewhere that a high percentage of strippers have been sexually assaulted in their childhood.

    It's important as this post emphasized, not to take the blame for what happened. If you do take the blame it could become a repressed memory (something the mind blocks out because it is in shock and can't deal with the situation). This might be okay initially, however you need to eventually accept what has happened to you and allow yourself to heal from the experience.

    This is a fantastic resource for strippers and proves why this site is so helpful.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    I was sexually assaulted when I was fourteen. I agree with most everything that the OP said, but you should be aware that submitting to a rape kit is not easy. It is very invasive and will remind you of recent events, but it is necessary. My best advice to someone who has experienced a sexual assault is to call 911 or drive themselves to the closest emergency room. You have the right to request only female police officers, nurses, and doctors interact with you. Stand up for yourself, if you don't report it your attacker can do it again to other women.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Thank you so much for this post.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    I was raped at a party when I was in high school by a guy who doesn't even live in my community. I wasn't "dressed for it," I didn't "ask for it," and I was much too "out of it" to even begin to utter "No." Actually, I told the guy that I had herpes and that he really didn't want me; he just slipped on a rubber and went on his merry way...

    Thank you so much for bringing this into the light, and for making it a sticky. As sex workers, the assumption is made that we "just don't give a fuck" whether or not we're violated.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    wow, that's helpful list, thanks!!

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    Question Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    question?
    what bothers me are the guys who go into backroom where the girls are dressing whats to stop them from raping a dancer
    which would might lead to aids, pregnant which would make the girl undesireable and loss wages

    there should be stronger security

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Great info, thanks! I would like to add that if you're a friend of someone who was raped, and being there for her through all the steps mentioned, that to REALLY be her voice if she decides to press charges or even report. I was raped by three black guys, no I am not prejudiced, but apparently the Legal Aid lawyers were-AND TRAUMATIZED ME for it! After I drove myself to the Dr's, who took me to police and did the SART test-yes, hard, but necessary-the detective took all my details and left. I got some counseling, but none of the counselors really helped, kept implying I was stupid to put myself in a situation (I trusted these men, business men, anyways whatever). Detective said that even though they got a lot of DNA out of my hair and such, that none of these men have a record so they can't do anything until they do-that's what he said, they can't just randomly test them! They were traveling so it was a state to state thing. So I called Legal Aid and talked to one lawyer and told him my story and he said basically, what do you want me to do? I'm not gonna help you, there's no money with 3 black men-his words not mine. I wanted justice, not money, god! Then I called Legal Aid again, and that guy said that maybe I like rough sex! Yes, I LOVE having 9 lacerations in my anus....had my friends been there for me-sadly, after my divorce people treated me like an outcast-it would have been easier to go through all that. I still deal with it 5 years later...oh and it happened all around the time the whole Duke University thing happened, so if it's racially reversed apparently lawyers are willing to help because white guys have money and so that's OK...like I said, I'm not racist, but it became a racist issue in getting anyone to help me...

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    ^ I am SO sorry that happened to you. That's fucking unfair and I really hope that those guys eventually get the shit fucked out of them! It sucks that one has to hope that they eventually get caught doing the same to someone else just in order to have another legal paper trail to pursue.

    The justice system is SO fucked up.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Yes, and what REALLY gets me angry is that THIS is why so many rapes aren't reported, because so many women get treated like the "you asked for it" crap. I just wanted to make sure these men wouldn't hurt other women and I get treated like a criminal. Women just need to speak up no matter what, but to be prepared that it might not be easy to stand up for yourself.

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    Veteran Member beckatron's Avatar
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    Default Sexual Assault in Canada and Internationally

    Just wanted to share an amazing SA resource:
    SACHA Hamilton
    • 100% woman-identified space, only women on the phones and in the centre
    • Feminist-identified
    • Run a 24-h phone line that you can call from anywhere in the world (typically they take local calls, but are capable of international).
    • In Hamilton they offer group and one-on-one counselling
    • Politically active
    • *excellent staff*
    • Sex work aware!
    • Anonymous reporting to police about sexual assault!
    • Medical and legal support, including accompaniments in the local area



    This organization is the singular best sexual assault support resource I've ever seen. It's 100% better than the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre, run by really caring women and they have a phone line for anyone who has been assaulted and just want to talk it through with an objective person. They'll help you talk it all through and put together an action plan ("what do I do now?/what are my options?") with no pressure whatsoever.

    It is 100% okay to call and talk if your assault happened an hour ago or a decade.

    I love SACHA and I hope you never have to use them but if you are a victim of sexual assault or violence, SACHA is the first place I'd tell you to call.

    SACHA Hamilton 24h Support Line
    905-525-4162

    Toronto-based, very rough draft, constantly asking for input!

    Our bodies, our rules.
    Stand together or fall apart.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Thanks for ^ that resource!

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    That is such a good idea to share. Thanks! It is best that those who have been in this traumatic situation know that there are others out there that have been in the same situation and also those that care and want to help.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    I think I was sexually assaulted or something as a child...but its completely blacked out it's really scary and my parents say no way in hell. :-/ I'm not sure I wanna remember a counselor at my school said the only way is hypnosis. I'm not sure I even want to remember but at the same time I want to know this important thing. :-(
    Driven to kill, this is not my will, I am compelled to slay -Cannibal Corpse

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    and sometimes I just lose it I remember something set me off I cried so much I couldn't get up off the floor and I couldn't breathe. I've been to counseling but its hard to find a truly compassionate and genuinely caring counselor. She thought parental discipline would pure everything. This post should have a trigger warning but great info keep up the good work gorgeous girlies!
    Driven to kill, this is not my will, I am compelled to slay -Cannibal Corpse

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    I find this webpage. It has several good articles on self healing for rape survivors. http://www.pandys.org/articles/index.html
    There is also a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay which is not specific to survivors of sexual abuse. She has the reader replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations in order to feel better about one self. She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and after it felt worthless and like she deserved it. She used positive affirmations to heal herself.
    I am sorry for the ladies here who have gone through rape or sexual assault.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    A nowadays most of crime creating as sexual rape relate. There are many people not control of sexual and girls are attracted them.If we are support them than control some intoxication in daily life. I think most of crime possible as low thinking power under.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    The Associated Press does not normally identify possible victims of sexual assault. Attempts to reach Canseco weren’t immediately successful. Another Twitter post said he was on his way to the airport to fly Texas, to play with the Fort Worth Cats, an unaffiliated team in the independent United League. &

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    This is a wonderful thread. Be safe out there ladies.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    I have to say that when I was raped while escorting, even though I had been a sexual assault advocate and rape crisis counselor, I didn't report it for almost a year. I remember thinking, "...that was rape." But I wasn't capable of dealing with it emotionally. I thought I knew it all and I didn't. I just want others to know that whether you know it's rape, whether you're ready to deal with it, it's okay to report it. Talk to us. Talk to SWOP. Call RAINN. Call 911 and talk to the police(they can be really, really awesome.) Be confused. Don't know everything. But know that you live in a world where people care about you.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Thanks for sharing that Marie - I'm so sorry that happened to you but I'm glad you found the courage to talk to someone

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    Question Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    caitir, I really feel for you- I was treated that EXACT SAME WAY when I was being harassed by some jerk I met on a dating website(but never in real life). I mean I was afraid he was going to find out where I lived and worked, and this female cop was going, "So he's NOT your boyfriend? Are you sure you never had a relationship with this guy? You know, pressing charges will leave a blot on his record..." And I was like, "Listen, lady, if he's doing this to me he's doing this, and worse, to other women. YEH I WANNA LEAVE A BLOT ON HIS RECORD." So here's some hugs and just know that I know you were telling the truth, and you were violated, and you deserved better from those people. Yes you did. A million times better.

    The cops were amazing when I reported. I told them about doing illegal activities and everything, and they backed me 100%. They said, "What he did was a much bigger crime, and we're gonna get him." They worked with the sexual assault crisis center and just made my life a million times better. I reported because I wanted to stand up and be counted. I wanted my rape to mean something good, even if it was just a little thing.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    I wish I had had these links and advice earlier.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    More post like this really helps out in this industry. The more resources the better. Knowledge is power. Thanks aussie.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    Thanks for sharing such a important information.........

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    Default Re: Dealing with rape / sexual assult. Please take a moment to read.

    it is a very nice info i really like this info thanks for sharing it.

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