Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

  1. #1
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Well I flew into chicago just after 6 and I don't board to my destination until about 9:30...

    See, I'm working on comedy, more passively now than ever, but in the past months, I've really found a niche for it so I like to explore it, again passively. I do this in some form of Ice Breaking.

    Now since it was an airport, I figured I'd never see any of these people again, and also I had this dream once that I worked in a Detergent Factory and I peed in the worlds supply of Tide Concentrate. This helps me even everything out since I can tell myself that I'm better than the person I've talked to because they've washed their clothes in my Pee.

    My intention was to start conversations off on an equal plane with everyone but to talk about THEM to initiate in a way that wasn't awkward. But get THEM to reveal something about themselves that they would like.

    Some conversations of note:
    1. I noticed this guy was looking at the lights, had a very very mean disposition on im about it (in chicago there are these evolved art displays under the ground where the terminals connect)
    <M>"You have to wonder what pays for all this."
    <Person>"No Idea."
    <M>"That's cause you're involved."
    <Person>"hahaha What?!"
    <M>"I saw you over there changing the bulbs and turning the music up while laughing. You just wont take blame for it cause you know everyone on autowalk would jump gate and kill you. What the hell is this music anyways? Sounds like Kenny G as covered by Ducks being stepped on."
    <Person and a few onlookers break out laughing>
    <Person>"I'd use my engineering powers to tear this down."
    <M>"Oooo you're an engineer? What do you engineer? If you answer it smart, I'll give you that girl's number" *points at the girl who was watching*
    <Girl>"He doesn't have my number!"
    <M>"Yet, You're next."
    <Person breaks out and is all red>"I work as an engineer in a welding facilities designing new m joints for freighters" (we went into detail from here, but score.)

    2. I noticed a lady looking at an overly beautiful poster of a luxurious getaway, walking past her with my coffee.
    <M>"Hell I'd go too."
    <Woman>"By yourself"
    <M>"Hey, I'm a sure thing."
    <Woman snorts her drink>"Ok, THAT was funny."
    <M>"There's humor in truth, I mean TELL ME that provided the opportunity, you WOULD not go there."
    <Woman>"It'd be nice, but I've always had a thing for Maui."
    <M>"I prefer rigatoni, but I'm talking about THERE."
    We had a couple more cheap laughs and I went on my way. Score.

    3. Then, there was a a few failures, but really none all that funny, but the starbucks fiasco was great and lead to a few signatures.

    I went into starbucks and ordered a cinnamon dolce latte, the lady said
    <W>"I want a grande cinnamon dolce latte"
    <M>"No, I want a cinnamon dolce latte."
    <W>"saywha?" *smiling since I am*
    <M>"Now really, is that even a WORD?"
    <W>*Beginning to laugh*"What do you mean YOU want"
    <Guy next to me who caught it>"YOU said YOU wanted the cinnamon dolce latte"
    <W>"Oh, hah, HE want's a cinnamon dolce latte"
    <M>"Grande"
    <W>"Grande"
    <M>"please"
    <W>"What?"
    <M>"I don't want him blowin a snot rocket in MY coffee cause you can't be polite"
    *smiling to make it CLEAR I'm joking*
    <W> *Goes and gets boss/manager*
    No shit, this totally happened
    <Guy next to me laughing as the people gathering>"Do you do this everywhere?"
    <Manager>"What?"
    <W>"Who is this guy?"
    *she's in tears at this point laughing so hard*
    <Manager>"What's the issue?"
    <M>"Nothing, I just want her to say PLEASE after my order so the gentleman making my drink doesn't blow snot rockets in it"

    At this point I realized "snot rockets" is the funny trigger

    <Manager>"You mean like that guy over there?"
    <M>"Sense of humor. I like that. You hear that sir?"

    (We both notice the guy had apparently been listening as he had blown his coffee on himself laughing mid sip)

    <M>"I just don't understand this city. Apparently 'Polite' flies out of this concourse." *leaning over to the guy next to him speaking just loud enough* "the real problem is I don't have the money for the coffee I'm going to spill on myself and sue for, so I'm trying to get it comped" "I'm very upset"
    <Manager>"Ok, who are you, are you from some sketch comedy or something?"
    <Guy with drink on him>"He's the best pre-9am entertainment I think I've ever seen."
    <M>"wait till you check your bank account. You paid for it, and Baby, I ain't cheap"
    <W>"How much for a ticket to your show"
    <M>"Going rate is 225." (Homage to emily)
    <W>"Shit, I ain't gonna pay that"
    <M>"For you? A free coffee"
    <Manager>"But do you REALLY have a show?"
    <M>"Hell no, I'm just a goofball."
    <Guy next to me.>"He's lying. If he isn't he'd do well with one. Get his signature now!"

    And we joked a bit more and I signed four signatures. Weird. hahaha it was a good time.

    I feel really bad about the good humored gentleman that spilt coffee on himself mid laugh
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  2. #2
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    27,134
    Thanks
    55,898
    Thanked 26,028 Times in 13,271 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Com'on & visit me, sweetie


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

  3. #3
    Jay Zeno
    Guest

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Sounds like fun, but doing my share of airports these past few years, I am now ever so glad that I was raised not to talk to strangers.

  4. #4
    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Vancouver, WA/Portland, OR
    Posts
    2,165
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    damn...i wish i was that witty!

    i crave the wittiness! teach me mast, teach me!!!!!!! lolol





    Now selling Platinum Stages Poles!
    Order through me & get a FREE instructional video!



    "Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from." Jodie Foster

  5. #5
    Lola Rose
    Guest

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    oooh. mast! spying in LO. Shame on you!

    But that's a grovey story! I love people in an airport. They are so..... I dunno.

  6. #6
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    4,967
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    god, you need to hang out with me an dcheer me up on bad days..

  7. #7
    Veteran Member SnakeBabe's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    506
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 26 Times in 18 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    In Chicago! You get Pizza or go to White Castle.
    Chicago Pizza is the best and White castle is the most disgusting Burger that you’ll ever find and I love them.
    Hugs and Hissessss,
    Maria
    See more of me at SnakeBabe.com
    and join my Facebook page
    FaceBook
    Get my free app on your phone at http://www.clubappmaker.com/thesnakebabe

  8. #8
    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    where they like American Boys
    Posts
    2,111
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Mast well you could have met me. I would have kept the famous mast company. I cant believe I miss the chance to see the one and only Mast.
    If you want the present to be differant from the past, study the past.
    Baruch Spindza

    It is what it is, not what you want it to become, that's important -- at least for now. Today, remember that things worth having are worth waiting for!
    The Stars

    Minds are like parachutes: They only function when open.
    Thomas Dewar

    Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
    Swedish Proverb

  9. #9
    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ATL
    Posts
    1,143
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked 18 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Ha I bow to your wit

    And White Castle is the shit!

    -E
    hilarious signature

  10. #10
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Whirlerz, I'd love to, but I'm the TIE-ER not the TIE-EE You're in Chicago?

    Lola, Get over it, the thread's called "He TRIED to charge me for Sex" and it was started by emily. Who WOULDN'T. That's comedy gold over there.

    "Hugs and Hisses". Love it.

    Sassysummer, I train trough osmosis.

    i.breathe.in: I'm good for that, at least!

    Leilin: Sheesh, how was *I* to know. I'll post when I'll be there on the way back.

    X-EVAN: hah, well thanks! Now...RISE.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  11. #11
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    13,598
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    If I didn't have 2 kids, I would have taken the 30 minute drive to the airport to watch all that go down.

    I know...I have a strange sense of humor. haahaa

  12. #12
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    13,855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Airport layovers: I eat overpriced bar food and drink, get drunk and flirt with a businessman or 3. Buy overpriced magazine. Read, journal, listen to Ipod. Or I just find a corner, take out my travel pillow, put it atop my carryon bag, and sleep. Yup, right there, on th floor, in the airport. I be a durty girl like that!

    I don't mind the layovers if its not a stressful situation.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  13. #13
    miss marina
    Guest

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    LOL @ you signing 4 signatures. too funny.

  14. #14
    Tart
    Guest

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnakeBabe View Post
    In Chicago! You get Pizza or go to White Castle.
    Chicago Pizza is the best and White castle is the most disgusting Burger that you’ll ever find and I love them.
    Hugs and Hissessss,
    Maria
    What? White castle?

    Uh no.

    Anyways welcome to chicago. i happen to think people are polite here lol no joke. Compared to everywhere else my ass has traveled , minus like Denver.

    Dude layovers BLOW

  15. #15
    Veteran Member Minette's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Western Massachusetts
    Posts
    491
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Quote Originally Posted by leilanicandy View Post
    Mast well you could have met me. I would have kept the famous mast company. I cant believe I miss the chance to see the one and only Mast.
    I got to meet him! He made me laugh on stage. He also tipped really well. I'm trying to get one of him installed in our strip club, but it turns out the waiting list to get one is really long.

  16. #16
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    SW Counter Troll HQ
    Posts
    5,582
    Thanks
    1,589
    Thanked 1,674 Times in 1,043 Posts
    Blog Entries
    13
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Quote Originally Posted by Minette View Post
    I got to meet him! He made me laugh on stage. He also tipped really well. I'm trying to get one of him installed in our strip club, but it turns out the waiting list to get one is really long.
    The mold may have to be broken at some point, However your wait may be over.


    I dunno a Mast substitute?

  17. #17
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    2,457
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    well, one thing you shouldn't do when stuck in an airport is climb onto the thing that the luggage comes out on and ride around. Apparently it's a federal offense. My friend found out the hard way.

  18. #18
    Veteran Member SnakeBabe's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    506
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 26 Times in 18 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tart View Post
    What? White castle?

    Uh no.

    Anyways welcome to chicago. i happen to think people are polite here lol no joke. Compared to everywhere else my ass has traveled , minus like Denver.

    Dude layovers BLOW
    White Castle, Rosatti’s pizza and Portillos

    I’m originally from Chicago and I am going back next week for a visit
    Hugs and Hissessss,
    Maria
    See more of me at SnakeBabe.com
    and join my Facebook page
    FaceBook
    Get my free app on your phone at http://www.clubappmaker.com/thesnakebabe

  19. #19
    Lola Rose
    Guest

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    Lola, Get over it, the thread's called "He TRIED to charge me for Sex" and it was started by emily. Who WOULDN'T. That's comedy gold over there.
    I was just teasing I don't blame you, I'd peak too!

  20. #20
    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Toronto 4 now...
    Posts
    4,876
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Damn, I'm usually too crabby to talk to anyone in airports!

  21. #21
    Veteran Member SnakeBabe's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    506
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 26 Times in 18 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Quote Originally Posted by LatinaRose View Post
    Damn, I'm usually too crabby to talk to anyone in airports!
    That’s one of the cute things about Chicagoans, they will talk to strangers and chat like they have known you for years.
    Hugs and Hissessss,
    Maria
    See more of me at SnakeBabe.com
    and join my Facebook page
    FaceBook
    Get my free app on your phone at http://www.clubappmaker.com/thesnakebabe

  22. #22
    Veteran Member Minette's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Western Massachusetts
    Posts
    491
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    The mold may have to be broken at some point, However your wait may be over.

    I dunno a Mast substitute? http://tinyurl.com/k5a5
    Eeeeeek! Real dolls are kind of scary. Besides, is it funny?

  23. #23
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    ^^ Not to mention that it advertises the part of the whole equation you're least interested in. Great things come from THAT head, just not my wit

    Katrine: One time in an airport with a friend I saw a dude laying in the middle of the main walk space at an airport, and I was in this suit coming back from a one-day engagement so I fake-tripped over him and "fucked up" my leg and knee and threatened to sue. When I told him I was "just kidding" He laughed... thank god... I don't do that anymore, but I admit, I WANT to.

    Lola...I know!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  24. #24
    Jay Zeno
    Guest

    Default Re: So what do you do with a 4 hour layover in Chicago?

    Well, layovers. I walk fast to my gate so I can plug in a power strip in an empty plug-in to power up the laptop do some work or writing or photo editing. If someone wants to limp at me, they're going to have a hard time keeping up.

    It's not like I'm an aloof prick. If I see someone searching sorrowfully for their own plug-in, I'll offer to share the power strip. So I guess I do talk to strangers.

Similar Threads

  1. 5 per hour...
    By kenzi19 in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 10-01-2007, 12:56 PM
  2. 24 Hour BA
    By StevieStar7 in forum Body Business
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-02-2007, 01:44 PM
  3. Chicago Horror Film Fest, Chicago Improv Fest
    By Chicagoeditor in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-27-2006, 06:05 AM
  4. what to do for a whole hour?
    By forevernaked in forum Other Work
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 12-31-2005, 01:24 PM
  5. Puerto Rico Layover
    By StripBarFan in forum Club Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-14-2003, 01:43 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •