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Thread: School Assignment

  1. #1
    Member AvaAdore's Avatar
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    Default School Assignment

    So I have to 'interview people for an assignment I have in my Human Relations course and I was wondering if ayone wanted to help me....

    I need to interview a variety of people who fall into three categories
    1) married
    2) never been married
    3) divorced
    and ask them all what they would consider to be the major reason for the high divorce rate in the U.S....divorced ppl should answer according to their experiences
    I need also to ask people what they consider the major reason for getting/staying married in the first place...
    if anyone would be so kind as to give me their opinion about marriage and divorce in this country as well as their marital status, you would be greatly improving my quality of life lol

    Thanks folks, any input would be welcome!

  2. #2
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    Mind the flames.

  3. #3
    Member AvaAdore's Avatar
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    This sort of helps...but I need some slightly more specific opinions directly about why marriage fails or prevails and whether those doing the answering are married themselves, divorced, etc...there's a whole lot of unhappiness to wade through on that thread and I'm having a hard time finding useable material. I do appreciate the link, however. I have been trying to use my classmates, but there are no married or divorced college kids anywhere! I just don't want to have to start surveying people in the mall or somesuch nonsense...

    "Would you like to take a survey?"
    "Do you like George Wendt?"
    "Do you like eating beans?"
    "Would you like to watch a movie featuring George Wendt eating beans?"
    "Would you like to eat beans with George Wendt?"

    I dunno...and I appologize for the animaniacs reference that probably no one in the free world 'got' but it was the first thing that came to mind when I thought about the mall

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    I am divorced, and I believe that education is the main cause for the divorce rate. Especially women's education. Time was, a woman had to stay in a bad marriage because she had no other palatible options for support. Similarly, a man was reluctant to leave because he would either have to keep supporting his wife anyway or throw her out to starve. Now that we can support ourselves, there's no reason to stay in a sour relationship.

    We also live in a society that teaches us to expect instant gratification. We like being married as long as we're getting along with our spouses, but if the relationship falters a lot of people just jump ship because they're not happy anymore. When it was more difficult to do that, people worked it out more often.

    In my own divorce though, it was the education thing. I would've been very happy with my ex-husband, except that I was educated and trained for a different lifestyle and it made us incompatible. Such is the modern world.

  5. #5
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    1) married
    2) never been married
    3) divorced
    and ask them all what they would consider to be the major reason for the high divorce rate in the U.S....divorced ppl should answer according to their experiences
    I need also to ask people what they consider the major reason for getting/staying married in the first place...
    if anyone would be so kind as to give me their opinion about marriage and divorce in this country as well as their marital status, you would be greatly improving my quality of life lol

    Ahhhhh, marriage - in my case it was youth and inexperience. I married someone I never should've been married to, but did so because I was young and looking for something meaningful. Divorce? Well, it happens because we WAKE UP, and it's relatively easy to do. Since women have become stronger (finanacially - independence) the divorce rate has gone up. Why? Because you don't "NEED" us.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  6. #6
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    I think the divorce rate is so high because peopel don't think marriage is such a big deal anymore. If it dont work out, just divorce. Therefor, they get married much quicker. Also because peopel alwyas want the easy way out. They aren't willingto work hard to make a marriage work.

    Another reason the divorce rate is so high now is because women have more options. Back years ago, women had to stay with abusive husbands because they had no other choice. Divorce was frowned apon, women were uneducated and had no other skills, they just couldnt leave and support themselves. Now women don't have to put up with a man's shit, or a bad marriage, they have the choice to get out if nessessary.

    The higher divorce rate now is a good thing, and a bad thing. Its good that it gives women more options...btu its bad peoplego into marriage with the thought that, well, if it dont work, I'll get a divorce.

    I've never been married, btw

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    ditto part of mojo's and kaylinn's reasons. two divorces for me but for differing overt reasons but the same basic underlying reasons for both, honesty/dishonesty and lack of commitment to make the marriage work.

    the first was a mistake of youth, 22 for me and 19 for her (unplanned pregnancy). we were much too young (imo) for marriage. neither of us were being honest to ourselves (underlying reason) and she wasn't very honest to me (overtly) for the marriage to work. we were married essentially less than a year.

    the second was more a matter of growing apart and the "easier divorce" that kaylinn mentioned. while it was also a question of honesty but in this case it was more just towards each other (underlying reason) versus the first marriage. but as adults (we were married over 9-years) we both handled it a lot better than the first one imo.

    having the options that yek mentioned also played significant a part in both divorces, both for my ex's and for myself. they had options other than just depending on me, which was good for them.

    but that also made the "work" part of the marriage less appealing to my ex's. neither ex felt it was necessary to work/sacrifice for the love. no offense to the ladies here, but they both had "pretty girl syndrome". (there's a whole tangent potential here for my definition of a successful marriage )

    so in a nutshell, for my experiences, divorce was a result of the lack of honesty and commitment.


    yes, i attract the wrong type.

  8. #8
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    I am married; but have only been so for about a year and a half.

    I think the reason we have such high divorce rates is because of a couple reasons:

    1. Marriage isn't treated as an "institution" by the majority anymore. All seriousness over taking vows legally has seemed to vanish. It seems to me that when things get the slightest bit difficult, people bail. People don't want to take the time to work at something, they just expect it to just "work".

    This also goes hand in hand with pop culture influence. We have so many images of marriages/ people living "happily ever after". These images portray marriage as being easy, carefree, and will just "work" because 2 people love each other. Wrong. You'll also notice that most of these images, such as in movies and stories, do not include anything after the "honeymoon" stage.
    Marriage is work. It's ISN'T enough just to love each other. You need to put the time in to get benefits.

    2. Tying into #1, a belief passed down to me is that marriage requires;
    -respect
    -honesty
    -communication

    Many marriages that end in divorce have one or all factors missing and don't attempt to repair this.

    3. Some people use marriage as a fix all. Like if the relationship is wasting away, marriage will fix it. Not true, and leads to many kinds abuse occasionally such as mental, emotional, or physical.

    4. It's also popular thinking to think "Hey, it's not working? I'll just get divorced!". Divorce is seen as too easy these days.


    The reason marriages stay together? Because people realize that marriage is not a fairy tale, it's not easy, and they put in the time to work at it.

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    A better demographic to use in your survey would be one broken down by socioeconomic and educational levels. Getting opinions and breaking them down by marital status...not sure what that will really get you.

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    if it matters...my opinion...

    The reason there is a high divorce rate is because there are lot of not-quite-mature people who marry without thinking about the long term. I'd be willing to bet that the large majority of divorces are among people who married before they were 25.

  11. #11
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    Quote Originally Posted by AvaAdore View Post
    what they would consider to be the major reason for the high divorce rate in the U.S....divorced ppl should answer according to their experiences
    I need also to ask people what they consider the major reason for getting/staying married in the first place...
    The high divorce rate is partially because of female empowerment, but also because of immaturity, dishonesty & unwillingness to compromise on the parts of both men and women.
    Long term monogamy is antithetical to most mammals.
    IMHO-Marriage should & usually does last as long as it takes to raise offspring to an age when they can fend for themselves (in fact, the Seven Year Itch is a biological cue to propagate genes with others.)

    I feel women have more to lose from marriage with children (decreased earning power, depreciation of the body, having to have sex with one guy) but OTOH, men who are unwilling to marry either "have something wrong with them" or are unwilling to share their assets.

    I don't really give a shit about marriage. I'm smart enough to survive on my own.
    Last edited by madmaxine; 04-21-2007 at 09:28 PM.

  12. #12
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    I usually agree with you fully MM, but I have to disagree with your last statement. Just because a woman gets married does not mean she's not "smart enough to survive" on her own.

  13. #13
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    ^Oh, I didn't mean it that way. I've been ribbed for my beliefs, but I strongly feel my experiences working in the natural science field influenced my views before stripping had anything to do with my mentality. Humans are just animals, we spawn, we die, only X amount of us will have our genes passed on....Etc.

    I guess I should have said I'm not comfortable entrusting part of my future to a man, unless he shoots gold bullion out of his penis & I can lock him up in the chicken coop. LOL

    (I'm fricking joking!! Gahh!)

  14. #14
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    Lol

    Ok.

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: School Assignment

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    if it matters...my opinion...

    The reason there is a high divorce rate is because there are lot of not-quite-mature people who marry without thinking about the long term. I'd be willing to bet that the large majority of divorces are among people who married before they were 25.
    It would be interesting to know the differences in divorce rates related to ages. I think you're right that a lot of people get married too young and/or too fast. I think it is an easy way to "legitimize" your relationship to those around you.

    It would also be interesting to see how gay marriages would affect the divorce rate in the event they were legal.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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