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Thread: stripping finally ruined my love life.

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default stripping finally ruined my love life.

    well my sons father and I broke up.

    we were engaged but things just wernt working out, we got together when we were 17 when I got pregnant and made it work for our son.

    now theres a new guy in my life. were not together but were fond of eachother.

    hes currently going though a divorce and his mother and lawyer are both advising him not to see me.

    his wife found out I strip and is really making it imposible for us. she wont allow their daughter to be around "That kind of person"

    at this point he basically has to choose me the stripper over his daughter because being with me could cause him to loose her.

    I considered to stop dancing but I dont even know if that would work... besides financially I'm not retiring from dancing till next year....

    So now I have to stick it out 6 months till their divorce is final.

    If we wanted to we could sneak around but.... eh.... I dont wanna fuck his life up.

    Figures stripping would bite me in the ass.... And I only dance Monday nights. HAH... I get to deal with the title but hardly reek from the bennifits

  2. #2
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    awww that sucks. you don't want to get in the middle of his divorce, esp. with his daughter being involved. idk what to tell you. be strong girl.

  3. #3
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    I do think that stripping has some invaluable benefits(for example, the financial benefits for someone who doesn't yet have the education and/or job luck to find a job that pays a decent "living" wage). However, I can kinda see your point. I only think of the havoc that woulda let loose if my family had found out that I was dancing! Right after I stopped dancing, I had more than a few nightmares about somehow dancing again, and having my relatives and/or hometown former high school classmates come in and catch me dancing. I remember how my mom's reaction was when she "accidentally on purpose" found birth control pills in my closet when I was 20 and adult...she was all weirded out and shit!! So I cannot imagine what I would have gone through if they'd found out...not that it really mattered financially or lifestyle-wise, since I was no longer dependent on my parents for anything and they'd already written me off once before, but still. I just wanted to let you know that I can relate and I can see your point.

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    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Yea I know.

    I'm a student and everything. Most people would never ever believe I was a stripper.

    But regardless of my reasons and how I carry myself and how I dance... A stripper is a stripper and on paper it can look pretty nasty to some conservative legal people.

  5. #5
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Isn't your baby's father a dancer too? Or am I thinking of someone else......

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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    I dont see how your current beau could loose custody of his daughter for dating a stripper? If so someone enlighten me. Besides without all the kid lawyer baby mamma divorce drama dating someone who is going through a divorce is extra stressful. You guys cant take it slow while this is all going on. Im sure it will be less stress for the both of you.
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  7. #7
    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Isn't your baby's father a dancer too? Or am I thinking of someone else......
    Yes..... (rolls eyes)

  8. #8
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Why can't you make it work with your child's father? You need to put your child ahead of your own wishes. Is he a horrible person, or can you suck it up and learn to be happy together for the sake of your child?

    I definitely don't think that either of the kids here need the added turmoil of adulterous relationships while they're each losing a parent. Doesn't sound like any of you are thinking about what your kids need.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Why can't you make it work with your child's father? You need to put your child ahead of your own wishes. Is he a horrible person, or can you suck it up and learn to be happy together for the sake of your child?

    I definitely don't think that either of the kids here need the added turmoil of adulterous relationships while they're each losing a parent. Doesn't sound like any of you are thinking about what your kids need.
    No I cant make it work with him, Ive been trying for 3 years. Now that we are apart its better on my son because we dont fight and we get along as friends.

    Parents dont have to be together. We get along better apart and thats whats best for our son.

    My wishes would have been to get along with his father and get married and have another baby.... Didnt work out.

    My son didnt loose a parent he sees his father everyday.


    Look, theres way more to this.... I dont want to get into to many details of my life but I always put my son first. If I didnt I wouldnt be doing this stupid job.
    Last edited by Collegegirl; 04-21-2007 at 01:38 PM. Reason: to add:

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    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    If the two of you are better apart- stay that way. Your son sees his dad everyday and that is great. My little brother blows up at every little thing that doesn't go his way. My mom thinks it's because for the first 5 years of his life he was subjected to screaming matches between his parents before they divorced, and now communicate with little problem.

    I believe you are putting your sons needs first. Just hang in there. You may have to let this guy go for a bit- I couldn't be with anyone who would cause me to loose my kid especially since you two are not that serious. Just keep in touch with him over the phone or something his wife can't monitor him 24/7.
    When the divorce papers are signed start go back out with him. How can his wife tell him who he can be with after that?

    Do not stop dancing to be with this guy, stick to your plan then if he is around when you have met your goal, there will be no problem.
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  11. #11
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Why can't you make it work with your child's father? You need to put your child ahead of your own wishes. Is he a horrible person, or can you suck it up and learn to be happy together for the sake of your child?

    I definitely don't think that either of the kids here need the added turmoil of adulterous relationships while they're each losing a parent. Doesn't sound like any of you are thinking about what your kids need.
    Um, kids aren't stupid. You can cause just as much damage trying to "make it work" than you can just going your separate ways and have visitations frequently.

    But hey, it's your life CG.

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    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    Um, kids aren't stupid. You can cause just as much damage trying to "make it work" than you can just going your separate ways and have visitations frequently.

    But hey, it's your life CG.
    Yea my son definetly is fine with us apart.

    Actually hes outside playing with daddy right now (he comes over everyday)

  13. #13
    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by PleasureVictim View Post
    If the two of you are better apart- stay that way. Your son sees his dad everyday and that is great. My little brother blows up at every little thing that doesn't go his way. My mom thinks it's because for the first 5 years of his life he was subjected to screaming matches between his parents before they divorced, and now communicate with little problem.

    I believe you are putting your sons needs first. Just hang in there. You may have to let this guy go for a bit- I couldn't be with anyone who would cause me to loose my kid especially since you two are not that serious. Just keep in touch with him over the phone or something his wife can't monitor him 24/7.
    When the divorce papers are signed start go back out with him. How can his wife tell him who he can be with after that?

    Do not stop dancing to be with this guy, stick to your plan then if he is around when you have met your goal, there will be no problem.


    Thanks, this makes me feel better.

    I'm gunna keep stripping and save like a mofo so I can retire when I plan on it

  14. #14
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Yeah, I'd definitely keep stripping if that's what you want. It would be pretty silly to stop stripping for a man you don't even have a relationship with. Even if later down the line you guys want to see each other, don't quit just for him. Quit for yourself because YOU want to.

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    Veteran Member Collegegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    Yeah, I'd definitely keep stripping if that's what you want. It would be pretty silly to stop stripping for a man you don't even have a relationship with. Even if later down the line you guys want to see each other, don't quit just for him. Quit for yourself because YOU want to.
    I actually do want to... LOL. I dont even like it but I do it because in 1 night I can make what I made in 1 week working at Dunkin Donuts. Because of stripping I got through school and was able to see my son. Stripping buys me time... time other jobs take away from my son.

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    Senior Member KaliThorne's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by Collegegirl View Post
    ...hes currently going though a divorce...
    That's why I rather not bother with men who are in the "process of divorce" because of drama like that. Even if you were not a stripper it still causes too many legal implications for a lot of men to see someone while they are still married, especially when there are questions of custody in the air. I don't like the idea of my behind being dragged into someone else's mud-slinging legal battle. I have made the mistake of dating men who were in the "process of divorce" (long before I was a stripper) and it's just not worth it.

    Now men who are going through divorces are like men who are convicted felons or men who have penises under 6 inches. I have nothing against them as human beings but they are just "non-datable".


    If he is truly fond of you why doesn't he wait until after the divorce is finalized and custody is straightened out so he could be with you without a problem?
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  17. #17
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    I've never met a male stripper I liked so I'm just going to say maybe this is better for everyone in the long run (not getting back with hubby stripper.)

    You can succeed as a single mom. You sound put-together enough. Don't worry about your future. I'd advise against trying to bend over backwards for anyone but your child....Good luck.

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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by KaliThorne View Post

    Now men who are going through divorces are like men who are convicted felons or men who have penises under 6 inches. I have nothing against them as human beings but they are just "non-datable".
    That is so damn funny!
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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  19. #19
    Senior Member JuliainPDX's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    My x and I kind of had a similiar situation, he was finally able to have his daughter live with him, not even like she was under 18. But he wanted to play "Perfect Dad," we couldn't have sex if she was home at night, I couldn't sleep over. I finally got pissed cause he wouldn't allow me to ever be around and acted like she was the queen of sheeba and I was only allowed there every once in awhile when she wasn't around. So I permanently split!
    My Twat is Wet!

  20. #20
    Senior Member JuliainPDX's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripping finally ruined my love life.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Why can't you make it work with your child's father? You need to put your child ahead of your own wishes. Is he a horrible person, or can you suck it up and learn to be happy together for the sake of your child?

    Dr. Phil said(and I agree), "better be from a broken home than from a home that is broken!"
    My Twat is Wet!

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