Fuck Fuck FUCK!!
I went into work last nihgt ready to make money. I felt good, I looked good, and on my first set, I did well. I had regulars in there and I had made over $50 in my firt hour and I hadn't sold one lap dance yet.
Then, I just died. All of a sudden I became completely unmotivated. I just sat in the dressing room and bullshitted. Usually I don't buy anything new unless I have made my goal for the night/week/whatever. Last night I bought a new purse and a new outfit from purse guy and the costume lady respectively. I knew I couldn't aford it and did it anyway. I just stopped caring. I wandered out of the dressing room a few times but didn't talk to anyone and ignored people who waved me over to them. Then I went back into the dressing room and complained that the guys weren't spending any money even though I KNOW it was my fault I wasn't making shit.
Then I got on stage again and threated to put the heel of my boot in a guy's eye because his hand brushed against my pussy when he was tipping me. It was my fault. I moved when he was putting the money in my garter and his hand kinda got stuck. I knew he didn't do it on purpose. That is not in my nature at all. I'm not bitchy for no reason. He even asked me why I was so upset.
EVERYONE else got at least 2 dances (the club keeps track of how many each girl does on a clipboard) but I got none. Zero. And I am in the upper 10% in the club money and looks wise. It was like I just refused to make money last night. And I needed the money too! I was so upset with myself.
I left with $170 when I usually make at least $400 without even going on stage. I don't know what happened or why I did that to myself but I will NOT do it again. I can't afford to fuck up a Friday night! So I'm working tonight and I hope I got all that...whatever the fuck it was...out of my system.
Thanks for reading my rant!




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