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Thread: Defending your Decision to Dance

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    Default Defending your Decision to Dance

    After hearing some misogynistic moron say this to another dancer defending her decision to dance:

    "Well since you "paid the better half of your college tuition off" then that makes it ok. Of course your parents would have gladly paid it rather than have their little girl parade naked for a room full of strange men who throw dollar bills at you. But hey, as long as you made money then everything is OK right? You're the one who spreads her legs for strangers and you're talking about MY ignorance?"


    After thoroughly putting this antagonist in his place, I began to wonder, how do other girls defend themselves from this type of bs? Of course, dancing is a legal way to make money, and therefore requires no further justification. But society can be a hateful creature, and this sort of social dreg comes up from time to time. The quickest and most efficient way to deal with these 'men' is to blow them off. After all- they're just another asshole who you'll probably never have to see again, so who cares what they think?

    We were (almost) all raised to view Strippers in the light of a social stigma. Somewhere along the line, we all came to a point where we said, "Fuck the majority, I'm going for this." After that, there are two kinds of dancers: those who feel truly ashamed of what they do, and those who don't. Those of us who don't, have our reasons why.

    We may not need to justify ourselves to anyone, but in light of the overwhelming social stigma towards not only our profession but our very selves, we must have our justifications for subjecting ourselves to such social ostracism, ridicule, ignorance, resentment and even hatred.

    My reply to our society is this- God forbid we women let anyone even look upon the sight of our naked bodies! The sight of our vagina ought to be our MAN'S reward, and only our man's reward! Or is it that you feel as though making money off of ones looks is obscene? If so, welcome to America. Look around you and get used to it.

    The 'value' of a woman's body is not degraded with each set of eyes that have fallen upon her breasts and vagina. By looking at me, naked or clothed, you have not added nor detracted anything from me OR my body. I will walk away with the same naked body I had before I'd ever been seen naked by any man. And I will walk away with the same amount of dignity I had when I walked in.


    That's my answer to this still highly misogynistic society we live in. What's yours?

    Edited to say, I don't necessarily mean what is your defense for people who call on you to defend it. There is no need nor point in defending yourself to ignorant people. I'm talking about in the more existential sense, how do you justify it, in light of such ignorance, to yourself?
    Last edited by MsLuckyCharm; 04-24-2007 at 07:54 AM.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    I don't defend it. No one takes care of me but me..







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Member AvaAdore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    I don't defend it. No one takes care of me but me..


    Amen to that one!

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Good post, very well-written.

    Generally, I don't even bother defending it anymore. It's not worth my breath or energy.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Senior Member scarlet_is_yummy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    its you desicion, its your body, its your life...walf away from the idiot is generally my way of dealing with em!

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    Senior Member scarlet_is_yummy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    hee hee i meant WALK away x

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    I have come to relize that stripping is a part of who I am and so if you can't accecpt that part of me then I don't need you in my life anyways. The stigma that comes with stripping helped me learn about myself and the type of treatment I expect from people I let in my life. I want friends that accecpt me for who I am not someone that wants me to fit a certin mold. Even when I retire from danceing I am still a stripper it will always be a part of me. I don't care alot about what people think anymore as a whole I am who I am take it for what its worth.

    I will say that if you are makeing the dicsion to dance you have to be well aware that some realships will change for you and the stigma is there. You will find out who your true friends are real quick once you decide to dance and that can be a harsh reality so be prepared.

  8. #8
    miss marina
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    I dont defend it with those kind of people anymore. Just like everyone else said, save your breath because those types will never open their mind to even listen to half of what you have to say. you wont win 99 percent of the time ya know?

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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Yes, I agree. I don't engage in these pointless battles with stupid people nor do I recommend it.

    I'm talking about internally, the internal dialogue within our own heads. In light of social ignorance, what is your justification to yourself, and only yourself, for dancing?

    I firmly believe that unless a woman has a firm grasp on her right, reason, and rationalization to dance even in the face of the figurative scarlet letter, she will have problems as a dancer, because unless you have a strong foundation, you WILL be shaken.

  10. #10
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    It never ceases to amaze me that people like this somehow think that eyes on us takes away fromus..and says more about US then it does about those putting their eyes upon us.
    Even more so when it comes from a guy IN the club. How is MY dignity somehow affected by my JOB....but how I choose to make a LIVING and PAY MY BILLS...yet his is not affected by how he chooses to SPEND his money and by what he does and where he goes in his SPARE TIME??? Why does he bear absolutely no ill will by the fact that he is PAYING to see what he considers an abomination??

    And the dig about how the parents would rather pay for school themselves.....that isnt a choice for many people. And I know many parents who would much rather see their daughter pay for school by stripping, then not be able to go to school at all. And since stripping offers much more flexibility in schedule then a "real" job...she has more time to study..therefore having a BETTER chance of doing well inschool and going further in life.


    But, while I would not be able to resist putting a guy like this in his place....I agree with everyone else that I would not expect it to make a differance.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by MsLuckyCharm View Post
    I'm talking about internally, the internal dialogue within our own heads. In light of social ignorance, what is your justification to yourself, and only yourself, for dancing?
    Like I said in my first post, no one takes care of me but me. This is what I tell my inner self.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    There's only one scenario in which I would consistently call putting people like this in their place "worthwhile", and that would be to prevent the self-image of another more insecure dancer from being damaged or destroyed. Not all dancers have the strength or resolution to not view themselves as less than a woman, less than human, even.

    This is what really concerns me. Thank God there those of us who have such a strong sense of self, all those who feel strong and unfazed in the face of maliciousness and ignorance. We should all be very grateful.

    I wish there was more I could do to send this message, your messages, to dancers- hell, to every woman- in need of someone looking them in the eye and telling them "You ARE a woman, you ARE a person! The eyes of every man in the world could never change that."

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    Thumbs up Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    I don't defend it. No one takes care of me but me..
    WORD.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    I like the quote in my siggy. I think it sums it up well. "My idea of feminism is self-determination, and it's very open-ended: every woman has the right to become herself, and do whatever she needs to do." ~ Ani DiFranco

    Oh... and the wise words of Cartman.
    "I do whut I WANT" ~ Cartman

    Stripping allows me to have the lifestyle I want. I'm not going to conform just because some conservative/ignorant/whatever asshole thinks that sex or nakedness is a bad thing. Some uber-creep once told me that stripping is bad because my body should be my boyfriends reward... The thought of that mindset still makes my skin crawl.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Veteran Member BeBe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    There's really no need to be defensive about one's decision to dance. I'm not ashamed of my decision or my lifestyle.

    Those who like to sit back and judge others close-mindedly will continue to do so if I choose to put them in their place or not. So, why waste your breath on a naysayer that will never see your side of things. It can kill the vibe for me and distract me from my goal, so I usually blow this type of scrutiny off.

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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    I don't defend it at all. It's my choice to dance and I'm pretty happy with it-so if they don't understand it, well, that's their problem!

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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    I don't defend it at all. It's my choice to dance and I'm pretty happy with it-so if they don't understand it, well, that's their problem!
    Agreed. It's nobody's business but mine!

  18. #18
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Ha ha, this morning I was telling someone about a woman I met (through friends) who was a single mother, sponging off of her boyfriend....She told me she could "never" be a stripper.
    She was broke, with a kid, dependent on a man with issues and living on the opposite coast from where she was raised...

    All alone, dependent, with a dependent.

    I think of her whenever some puffbrain starts moving their mouth at me, with their asshole opinion. & Then I smile.

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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    There is no inner dialogue or conflict for me because this is the first "job" I've ever had in my lifetime that has really truely suited me. As much as the bad nights get to me as the next dancer at times and so forth... ultimately, i made the choice and i have never ever regretted that choice.

    It has allowed me soooooooo much in my life (experiences) that I really wouldn't have had otherwise without it. As per another thread about the "do you buy stuff or experiences" question... my answer is the same. I buy experiences with the freedom etc this form of work has allowed me.

    Plus it also allows me to express myself as a performer. I have always been a performer. I was raised as one and I am using all those skills on stage whenever I dance.... even in private/lap dances I'm using those skills as I'm still entertaining.

    I dunno. Never had a problem.

    I'm hoping to be an employer (business owner) as well as investor in the end so how I earn my money won't be of concern when I am networking around other investors as they really only speak in business and investment terms as such.

    Anyway, i'm with alot of other people especially Cinn.

    I can only rely upon myself to take care of me. No one else.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  20. #20
    StrayStripper
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by MsLuckyCharm View Post
    I'm talking about internally, the internal dialogue within our own heads. In light of social ignorance, what is your justification to yourself, and only yourself, for dancing?
    I make a nice amount of cash. I wouldn't strip otherwise.

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Defending your Decision to Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    I don't defend it. No one takes care of me but me..
    Exactamente.

    I do it because I enjoy it. I'm being creative, I'm not hurting anyone, it's fun, I'm bringing joy to others, and when it comes right down to it, there really is nothing wrong with dressing up pretty and dancing gracefully in our most natural states before people.

    Of course there is a stigma because we are (gasp! OMG!) naked! Oh, the horror! When are people going to realize that sexuality is OK, natural, normal, and beautiful? Why is it some "dirty" thing? Hello?!

    I don't need to justify my job to anyone. If anyone asks why I do what I do, I simply ask them "Why do you do what YOU do?"

    What annoys me is when people say this is not a "real" job. Um, OK then, YOU walk around in my 8 1/2" heels for 8 hours and deal what I deal with and THEN tell me what you think.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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