you know when you see that girl randomly crying in the corner of the dressing room and, if you think anything of it all, you think, what the hell is wrong with her? yeah...well, tonight, that girl was me.
i officially had my first on the job emotional breakdown. i don't even know how it happened. i mean, tonight was the worst night i've had in, oh, a year. and yeah, i did just receive a knife twisting text message from the toxic piece of shit i'm trying to forget over the weekend. and i suppose i Might be emotional because i just found out that my best friend is basically throwing away 7 years of higher education for a guy who i have ambivalent feelings about.
BUT.
this is not "stripper me's" problem! i can usually separate these things! it's one of the things i enjoy about work.
but tonight i Humiliated myself. i cried in front of the house mom. the girls. the bartender. the waitresses. the dj. the manager. fuck. not Sobbing. at least not that. just that silent weeping. like a leaking faucet. and i did wait until the end of the night.
damn. i'm so disappointed in myself.
and tomorrow i have a lunch date that i was totally stoked about that i've officially ruined with puffy post-sobfest eyes. bleh.![]()




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