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Thread: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    I was just walking in my upstairs hallway and the window facing our side yard, and I hear this little kid like screaming and crying. I didn't even know little kids lived over there, it's a twin house and they have new peop;le in every so often. We have a whole bunch of evergreens separating our property from thier driveway and I've got my dog and my dad's gf's dog howling and I could still hear this kid. He was screaming, crying, then he yelled, "NO DAD No!" And it really freaked me out, he's still crying now and I'm afraid his father "dad" is beating him or something. If it were afer 10pm I could send the cops over for noise control as an excuse but it's not. I'm really worried this kids getting hurt or something. What would you do?

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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Well the kids stopped crying so I guess it's alright but that was the freakiest thing ever, any tips on what to do if it happens again in the future? I am usually never home at night so that's why I never heard this before.

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    ahhh i would call and report it. that way at least there's a record of a report if it's ever necessary in the future.

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Well this was the first time you heard it and the first time you saw the kid... idk, I'd say wait until next time bc it could just be a really bratty kid, but you don't want to find out later that the kid died in the middle of the night from getting beaten.. like that Martina McBride song.

    "Somebody cries in the middle of the night,
    The neighbors hear but they turn out the lights;
    A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate,
    When morning comes it will be too late"

    I think you should call. The worst that could happen is that your neighbors will hate you because they didn't do anything wrong. But you don't seem close to them anyways...

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    I would call children and youth services as well as the police. tell them you werent sure if you should call but felt that the the screams/cries might warrent some investigation. That's what I would do. Child abuse makes me sick.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Well I told my father shortly after the crying started and he came home, and he goes "oh that kids just a little brat and probably starting a fuss," and so I just kept one ear perked up and I saw a car come (his mom maybe?) and he took a rolly suitcase and I guess the kid moved out. I felt like a busy body but you girls are right if anything had happened I'd have felt such guilt. Now I feel dumb cuz it was a false alarm, I just don't trust anyone these days.

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Quote Originally Posted by NatalieFRPhilly View Post
    Well I told my father shortly after the crying started and he came home, and he goes "oh that kids just a little brat and probably starting a fuss," and so I just kept one ear perked up and I saw a car come (his mom maybe?)
    LOL that's exactly what I was thinking. I see your dad and I think alike.







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    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    You don't necessarily know it was a false alarm. Abusers usually say their victims are just bratty or just making a big deal over nothing. Anyway I hope it WAS a false alarm!

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Where kids are concerned, better safe than sorry. I'd report it. The cops will decide if it's something to act on.
    We are women. We rise from the wave.
    ~Susan Griffin

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Quote Originally Posted by NatalieFRPhilly View Post
    ...he took a rolly suitcase and I guess the kid moved out...
    It could be that his parents are not married, and he spends time between them...

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Quote Originally Posted by Samantha Coyle View Post
    Where kids are concerned, better safe than sorry. I'd report it. The cops will decide if it's something to act on.
    I agree. You never know what happens behind closed doors... I would have reported it. And to say a kid is just bratty is not an excuse to beat on them. A child is a child regardless and generally if they are being raised well they are not bratty. imo.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Quote Originally Posted by Samantha Coyle View Post
    Where kids are concerned, better safe than sorry.
    i agree it's better safe than sorry but i'd hold off reporting it until you can see the child or talk with the parent/guardian. reporting something that's not there can create significant problems. chances are it's nothing but i'd check to be sure.

    kids can sound like they're dying when they're just throwing a tantrum but if it sounds scary like you describe, what does it hurt to check? imagine the fear of that child in that rare (yet existent) situation where they're crying and nobody's there to help.

    just ask if everything's ok. make it a casual thing. not saying they'll definitely be nice to you but it's about the poor kid.

    better a concerned neighbor than a grieving/guilt-ridden neighbor.

  13. #13
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    I'm curious as to what talking to the parent is supposed to accomplish. If he was beating the kid, what's he going to say? "Oh yeah, he was screaming like that because I was beating him and I guess I broke his arm"? I'm not saying the guy WAS beating the kid, but asking him if he was seems kind of pointless to me.

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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    I'll have my dad go make small talk, but since I'm like an itty bitty girl there is no way in hell I'd go over there alone. I didn't report it but if I do hear anything again I will.

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    oh, i didn't realize this guy was physically menacing. i'm thinking too guy-wise, sorry. if this guy's a bit wacky, you might not want your dad to identify his relationship to you (put you at risk).

    but i still think someone needs to look in on the kid.

    at least the kid won't feel alone imo and maybe your dad can pick up on nervousness, bruises, etc.

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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    If it's the guy I am thinking of because I said it is a town home so there is more then one family then he's like 6'4. I'm 5'0 so anyone over 5'10 is pretty dang big to me, but yea I'm going to try to get my dad to go over and see whats up when he gets home from work.

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    i agree it's better safe than sorry but i'd hold off reporting it until you can see the child or talk with the parent/guardian. reporting something that's not there can create significant problems. chances are it's nothing but i'd check to be sure.

    kids can sound like they're dying when they're just throwing a tantrum but if it sounds scary like you describe, what does it hurt to check? imagine the fear of that child in that rare (yet existent) situation where they're crying and nobody's there to help.

    just ask if everything's ok. make it a casual thing. not saying they'll definitely be nice to you but it's about the poor kid.

    better a concerned neighbor than a grieving/guilt-ridden neighbor.
    When you report it you say I'm not sure, but I figured better safe than sorry, they have that information going into the investigation. And I have a qualm with this suggestion of ask the parents...I mean yeah what if it's not anything, so the CPA get involved for a second and see that nothing is wrong. Buuuuuut what if it is something that child will probably be punished for making so much noise that someone got called and will potentially not make cries for help again - then they will continue to be abuse. I mean when we take in victims of abuse you NEVER ask if they are being hurt by a SO or parent while that person is in the room with them, that puts them at great danger!! I mean really if your abuser is sitting next to you what are you going to say "oh yeah this big lug knocks the ever living shit out of me every night" no you say "oh no, never!!" I just dont think it's a good idea to confront the parents no matter how casually you put it because then they know you know.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    You should NOT talk to the guy, and you should NOT send anybody else to do it either. As said above, you should contact Child Protective Services or whatever name it goes by in your state. They will keep your name anonymous when they contact the parents to protect you.

    Not too long ago in Syracuse, Utah, a ten year old girl was beat to death by her parents, and nobody knew the abuse was going on until she was dead and it was too late. If someone like you had seen and heard what you saw and had reported it, perhaps that little girl would be alive today.

    If it is just a bratty kid, the social workers will be able to tell that.

    Call now. You could save a life. I am not kidding.

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    ^^^ thank you Mike!! Agreed completely!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    haha, finally something my major is good for! woo hoo family studies! seriously, though, i shouldnt laugh.. i was laughing at my major finally being useful, though! sending people over won't help, imo. what will that do? warn him that someone else suspects it? so then the kid might be punished for being loud enough that you could here? that has the possibility to only make things worse.

    it is VERY hard to get a social services investigation that actually has results. but calling is a start, and you dont want that burden on you if something worse happened, or you found out he was being abused, or whatever. even if it is a false alarm, which it very well could be.. i used to cry and scream very loudly if i was being punished, and my parents certainly weren't abusing me. but better safe than sorry.

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Hmm. It wouldn't hurt to let someone know. Theres a few times I might not have ended up in the hospital if the people who just shut their blinds would have called someone.

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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    My son has had many moments (where I was in the room with him, speaking to him gently and trying to hold him to comfort him) where I've been like man, I hope no one thinks I'm torturing him or something... but he's really young, not old enough to say "no mummy" or anything like that He's a screamer...

    That being said, it would have been nice if someone had heard stuff and called the cops on my dad who was dangerous... it would have been a good thing for me. Actually my school called cps on my parents when I was in kindergarten but all it did was make my parents call me a liar to anyone who would listen for the rest of my life. I'd definitely call, JUST in case. I have no sympathy for parents who hurt their children.

  23. #23
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    omg this kind of stuff scares me.. I was walking around the courtyard at my apt. complex one night and heard a conversation as a couple drove by in their car. the guy was screaming (at the top of his lungs) shut the fuck up bitch and kept asking if she was gonna shut up while the girl cried no, please, no! in between the loud bangs.

    I so wanted to go vigilante on that piece of shit

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    Member Samantha Coyle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Busy Body/Concerned Neighbor?

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    it is VERY hard to get a social services investigation that actually has results. but calling is a start...
    This is unfortunately true, since they're usually so swamped. It's a triage operation, and kids over a certain age (teenagers) usually get less attention. Little kiddos get more attention, infants get the most.

    In any case, call CPS or DPRS in your state. Do it today, please, please.
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