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Thread: wtf am i going to do?

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default wtf am i going to do?

    so i guess it's time for my first official "burning out" post. it's been about 2 years since i started dancing, and it's getting -really- hard for me to go to work anymore.

    i thought taking a vacation would help. i went away for the week (to coachella). when i came back to work, instead of feeling refreshed, i felt instantly irritated. i wasn't even going into it with a negative attitude. it was dead as hell the day i came back. i talked to as many customers as possible with the best attitude possible and they were mostly all "just here for a beer" or "what am i gonna GET?" guys. i made a whopping 7 mother fucking dollars that shift. my worst shift -ever- since i started dancing. i could have stayed home and finished my school work. the girl who made the most made 100 bucks. wtf? usualy i'm a top earner and usualy guys are there to spend money, but lately.. not so much. anyway, i call the day a bust and go back the next day.

    same bullshit. i do ONE dance the entire shift and the guy is handsy as fuck and trying to lick me. i made 35 dollars. oddly enough, my SECOND worst shift ever... and both happened in the same 2 days.

    today i go back ... and i make more than anyone else there. you know how much that grand total was? 120 bucks. >>>>_<<<<

    it's not just the terrible money of this week. it's everything. i'm tired of the hands. i'm tired of dancing for the men i believe are the downfall of our american society. i'm tired of dealing with sexism, racism (i'm white.. but i'm tired of HEARING racist comments), homophobia and just general "RAWR I'M A DOMINANT MALE I FUCK WOMEN DUR DEE DURR" bullshit. don't get me wrong.. i don't think anything is wrong with men wanting to see naked women. fuck... ---i--- enjoy naked women. i'm just tired of most of the men in this country and this city. i'm tired of their mentality that they "deserve" to do certain things to women, or that they "own" their women. i hear girls talk about clubs in other countries or even other states that sound wonderful. i get so jealous. i don't want to "do nothing" for my money either. i work hard at what i do. i -love- performing, teasing, dancing, stripping. i just can't deal with the lap dances or the bullshit hustles anymore. i work at one of the cleanest clubs in tampa. in fact, i came there BECAUSE i was burning out. at first it helped, and honestly it's much better than anywhere else i've worked, but -still- it's killing me inside. i used to do higher contact for more money, but i couldn't live with myself. i can't go back, but i can't be fucking broke either. i'm still in school and i simply can't afford a "normal" job money wise or "time wise". *sigh* i think this business is eating away at my soul.

    i mean, it's so bad right now that every time i hear any of these following lines, i want to literaly punch someone in the face..

    "you girls just want my money"
    "i'm just here for a few drinks"
    "why would i pay for a dance when i can get a blowjob for 20 bucks somewhere else?"

    or any of the rude comments about anything else. i'm also fucking tired of new girls (whores) coming in and ruining my fucking shift for a day or two before they're discovered and fired.

    it seems like the good customers are few these days. *sigh* i just want to be a real stripper. you know, the kind who slowly removes clothing and artfully teases. don't get me wrong, i don't give "air dances" either. i give light contact, but i assure you i give great dances. i wouldn't say that if i didn't truly think it. my dances have gotten better and better the longer i've worked, but guys don't give a shit anymore. they just try to push me down on their laps or fucking dry hump me. or they try to slobber on my neck while i'm leaning back on them.

    i'm not going to start drinking heavily at work or doing drugs, but i swear i understand why some girls do now. i -need- to dance to make money, but i don't know how to do that anymore without going completely insane.

    i don't want to be felt up by men i hate anymore.
    and
    i don't want to be poor.


    someone please tell me how both of these are possible here in tampa?

    sorry for the ramble. i'm sure none of it was in order or made much sense. i just kind of started typing. i had a bad day at work today (and the last 2.. as stated). so, i get home and decide the only thing that will properly cheer me up is baking myself some chocolate chip cookies. so, off to the store i go. literaly 2 minutes after i leave my house i get pulled over. i didn't even know why. apparently i "barely" ran a red light turning left. something about my car being some ammount of feet (not enough) past a white line. the cop gave me the macho tough guy talking-to-me-like-i-must-be-retarded-since-i'm-female bullshit.

    he gave me a warning, which i'm surpized of because i practicaly threw my registration and insurance at him after he talked down to me. i was pissed off at the whole day and then i became embrassed because i started crying for no reason. i don't ever cry in public. i rarely cry at all actualy.

    maybe he gave me a warning because he thought i was a nutjob. heh... anyway... yeah...venting. i'm normaly a damned strong person too.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    ps. again, sorry for whining. i just don't really have anyone to say these things to irl. it'll just upset my boyfriend (and there's nothing he can do about it anyway). my friends will be supportive, but they can't really "understand" it.. you know? and my family... that's not an option.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Temporarily quit dancing. I have worked at clubs like yours and they are never worth your sanity or patience...Finish school and relocate somewhere with good clubs.

    As for money, you'll be able to do something else....It's only temporary.

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    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    you dont need to say you're sorry, this is a community and we are here to help you!! I read what you said and maybe you're done dancing (for now)... Maybe you could waitress instead, or maybe not. Could you change clubs, change the scene and mabe get a boost from that? You're on SG, could you maybe do more sets for added income? I'll think about this more but those were my initial thoughts...
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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?



    and I can totally understand about wanting to vent, rant, rave etc here and not with anyone IRL. It's true, we do understand. I know I can empathise !


    If you also feel like venting, ranting etc feel free to revive an old thread over @
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...=32339&page=11
    Last edited by GoldCoastGirl; 05-05-2007 at 09:51 PM.


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  6. #6
    Tart
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Penny I can completely relate. I was gone 2 months, thought I'd come back and be on it..maybe have that new girl fresh meat thing going on. FUCK NO.

    But I'll say this, 4 days in ..I made what I use to make a night. I was uplifted and in the best of moods. I swear just give it a few days. I think once you get pass the entire FUCK THIS PLACE thing, fuck these broads etc etc and when you no longer care about the shit , you'll get this eerie calm and girl you'll make the money. I can't explain it but it happens.

    But what you are feeling is super common. I was starting to think I was going to have to either stop or switch clubs. then that good ole night happened. and BAM I'm alright again.

    I think sometimes it doesnt matter how much the length of time gone is. There are days where we've kinda outgrown the job and you can feel it.

  7. #7
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Okay, as a rant, knock yourself out. Rant away. I sympathize.

    But advice... like, advice on how to alter the industry so that it doesn't tick you off? There is nothing. I find myself when I have bad days taking a kind of understated mean spirited pleasure in being mean to guys, when they tell me "no." Like, when they say no, I shake their hand, but disentangle mine before they are ready - I know it sounds small, and it is. It is not something most of them would even know how to articulate. But it gets my "I'm being polite to you because it is not worth my time to be rude, but you are not worth my time and the only reason I was being even momentarily nice to you was for potential financial gain" point across very nicely. There are days when I really need to reverse the direction, and maybe remind them of who really gets to reject who in the proverbial "real world". It gives me a small pleasure to even momentarily upset the fantasy that they are there to indulge them. And hopefully, it makes a little more vulnerable to the next, much nicer, girl.

    So my advice, if you want to keep working in the industry in the area in which you are working now, is to learn to take pleasure in the small things.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    you don't have to dance to make money, that is one thing. regardless of job, whenever i felt i HAD to do that job/work to make money, i could not be bothered to turn up.

    i don't know what the job market is like in tampa. hell, i moved somewhere with jobs that paid stripper-money to avoid feeling like it was mickey d's or the titty bar and nothing else.

    maybe you could do that. or go to school. most of the time you can get grants to pay your attending and incidental expenses, particularly at state schools.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    ^ i am in school (as i stated in the OP) full time.. which is part of the reason i can't really work enough hours at a "regular" job to sustain myself. i was working 60 hours a week for the school district before i started dancing.

    anyway, you guys are awesome. thanx for the comments and advice. jenny, i know what you mean about taking pleasure in the small things. i find myself doing that from time to time, it just seems like it's gotten harder lately.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    I know exactly what you mean.

    I guess you can't travel because of school?



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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    ^ exactly.

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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    rant any time Penny.

    as for dealing with those types of comments, you only want me for my money etc, you HAVE to make a joke of it.. "well, that can't be true since you havent given me any yet!" or "no no, i only want you for your incredibly good smelling aroma and cooking ability. really. honest" (insert big smile). guys know that's why they are there and that's why we want them but they dont want to be hard-sold. i think that maybe that's what's coming across to them, maybe they are prone to reading that in a stripper? who knows. but in the end i think reminding yourself that "it's work but i LOVE my job" constantly is mucho importante, and when (as said above) you need to make money that's when you wont. so, take the day before you work to get a massage (have hubby do it if you wanna save $) and then driving to work, remind yourself how hot and sexy you are, and how it's only money but work is FUN FUN FUN! it will come thru and you will just *snaps fingers* make money.

    Love it!

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    From what I heard coahella wasn't much of a vacation. Maybe you need another vacation.

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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Penny, I REALLY understand how you feel. There seem to be quite a few burnout posts right now, and this will only increase in the summer months when business slows down, there's a bazillion girls, and the guys are extra horny and wearing shorts. Time away can sometimes make it worse because you have the space to see the insanity of what you're used to doing. When I dance again after a break I try to get through the first shift with no expectations, and know the first few shifts will feel awkward. Like Tart said, you will have your break through night.

    Is what you're going to school for something that will be able to support you after graduation? If so, try to not be so hard on yourself about needing to make so much money now. I know it's not ideal, but if you took out a student loan for just a semester to give yourself a break from dancing it may be the best thing. Sometimes it's easy to forget that the majority of people are living their lives without stripping, and many people have succesful lives, so talk to everyone you know and see if you can come up with alternatives.

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    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    I aggree you should take a break, and live off a student loan. Give yourself a break. I am really sick of it myself.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    It sounds to me like, if you *have* to dance to finish school and whatnot, you're gonna have to move to another city. After reading many of your posts complaining about this very same thing over time, I've wondered why you haven't moved before. And frankly, IMO, any excuse you can come up with as to why you "can't" move is just that: an excuse. You can, you just have to rearrange some things. It could be the best thing you'll do for yourself. It's well-known that Tampa sucks ass for strippers, and sorry, but it's not ever gonna get any better. Your best solution if you really must dance, is to do it elsewhere.

    There are other nice cities to live in. There are other schools and you can transfer your credits and continue with your degree.

    And, there are things you can do temporarily. Get a different job. I know we all *think* we can't survive on "normal" job money, but everyone else does it. Other students do it. We can too. We just won't have as much money to spend and might have to make a few sacrifices for a while. I've done it when I was burned out - when I was younger and in school I did it. But it's temporary. Waitressing at a good place can be quite lucrative. I know it's not the best job but it sure beats putting up with the things you're complaining about.

    Finally, I'm just going to say that if you never do anything to change your circumstances, you're going to continue being miserable in them. Whether it's moving, quitting dancing (even if only temporary until you get moved), learning to cope the way Jenny does, or quitting dancing entirely, you have to DO SOMETHING.

    I feel for ya. I've worked places like that too and they just suck the life out of you. Obviously I left - was all I could do to maintain my well-being.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    ^ my "many posts" about the "same thing" were not posts STARTED by me they were me agreeing with other posters. also, i literaly can't move. i can't just have my boyfriend of 4 years up and leave his job and i can't just change schools (since i'm working on large resume building projects) and break my rental lease, etc. all because i need to find new clubs to strip in. also, i would have to move fairly far away in order to get away from "these types" of clubs. i'd also like to state that, while occasionaly i have been negative (as much as anyone else) from time to time, i've only been MOSTLY negative for a month or two now... out of the last almost 2 years since i've been posting here. i used to post a ton of positive threads, thank you to customers, etc. i understand what you're saying. it's not going to change. i know that. my problem with getting a regular job is this: it's highly unlikely i will find anything making more than 10 an hour. let's just say i get really lucky and find a job making 12 a 40 hour work week still makes that 480 a week -before- taxes. first of all, i can barely juggle school and work (considering that i spend at least 2 full days working on projects related to school) as it is. i can't start working 40 hours a week along with it, not to mention the fact that i share -one- vehicle with my boyfriend right now which means i drive around constantly. not to mention that i'd probably have to work more than 40 hours a week just to pay the bills.

    this is why i put off school for so long. i went back to school when i was almost 26. the reason i didn't go sooner is because i had to work 60 or more hours, or at two jobs, to be able to get by. i have no debt.. but i also have no credit. i had lived pay check to pay check my entire adult life. the only way for me to get out of the cycle was to go back to school. the only way i could fit school into my scedule was to work less. the only way i could work less was to make more money. the only way i could make more money was to dance. if i stop dancing, i'll start working more, i'll have less time for school and i'll have less time to build my resume, and i'll go exactly back to where i started. in which case, i will have done all of this for nothing.

  18. #18
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    To be fair Bridgette, a lot of people cannot or are disinclined to arrange their lives around dancing. For example, very few reputable school will allow you to transfer ALL your credits (for the simple reason that they want you to pay them for a certain number of credits before you graduate and they don't want you doing all your substantive education at another institution and then getting a degree from them). Also, some schools are better than others for certain things, some offer more assistance etc. Like I could not, possibly, in any way just pick up over the summer, move to a different city and pick up where I left off. Even assuming that I would be accepted to another similarly good school (which, I can tell you right now, I wouldn't be without giving out a lot of sexual favours - and I don't even know how to include that kind of offer in an admissions package) I would have to repeat a full year. I get what you are saying about finding constant complaints and no action tiresome, but think that you might have a bit of a skewed idea on how easy it is just to pick up and move around the country.

    On the other hand - stripping does narrow your horizons. Like, when you need money, it's all you can see. Other people finish school without doing it. I mean, this is just a fact. For every hard luck story on this board, there is someone in the country with a similar story who is not stripping her way out of it. So I do agree - if you really, really hate it try to remember that you don't HAVE to do it. There are loans, there are grants there are other jobs, there are part time programs (most of the time)
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  19. #19
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    On the topic of school and choices- I realized recently that if I had taken out a huge loan for university & got a degree "like I was supposed to" I would probably be in the same place I am right now- with debt, ambivalent about everything and probably convinced that the only remedy would be a Master's Degree....Which would be the same hamster-wheel of debt, school and indecision...

    Stripping did a lot of good things for me, mainly which made me able to accept a chosen field of labor that most people consider undesirable. WHY am I nattering on about my situation to you? I have an artistic personality like you do & I'm learning to funnel it into more practical fields, like home renovation, and marketing my services effectively...using creativity to capture potential customers' attention.

    As much as I admire people with degrees, in this day and age, what kind of degree one holds has a lot to do with the income potential for that person. & You must think outside of the box....It's the only way to stand out in a competitive culture.

  20. #20
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    To be fair Bridgette, a lot of people cannot or are disinclined to arrange their lives around dancing. For example, very few reputable school will allow you to transfer ALL your credits (for the simple reason that they want you to pay them for a certain number of credits before you graduate and they don't want you doing all your substantive education at another institution and then getting a degree from them). Also, some schools are better than others for certain things, some offer more assistance etc. Like I could not, possibly, in any way just pick up over the summer, move to a different city and pick up where I left off. Even assuming that I would be accepted to another similarly good school (which, I can tell you right now, I wouldn't be without giving out a lot of sexual favours - and I don't even know how to include that kind of offer in an admissions package) I would have to repeat a full year. I get what you are saying about finding constant complaints and no action tiresome, but think that you might have a bit of a skewed idea on how easy it is just to pick up and move around the country.

    On the other hand - stripping does narrow your horizons. Like, when you need money, it's all you can see. Other people finish school without doing it. I mean, this is just a fact. For every hard luck story on this board, there is someone in the country with a similar story who is not stripping her way out of it. So I do agree - if you really, really hate it try to remember that you don't HAVE to do it. There are loans, there are grants there are other jobs, there are part time programs (most of the time)
    exactly. i guess right now our plan is for my boyfriend to get a better paying job. he has a few in mind. if anything pans out i'll probably get a different job and just dance when i need to. the waiting just sucks. not many people have the exp. and skills that he has, so when those people find good jobs they tend to stay in them. that means there are few openings through-out the year in this field. i have a feeling when he -does- find something it will be great, it's just the wait.

    and what you said about school is true. it's not just the credits for me either, it's that my career is largely based on building a name for myself, which comes with working on long term projects and building up a profile. it's difficult to do that without staying in the same place,, making contacts and etc.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Even those of us who dance in a more full time manner without school are disinclined to just up and move for our own reasons. Everything isn't cut n dry.

    Feel free to vent/rant/rave in the below thread....
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...=32339&page=11


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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Why dont you switch to night shift a D.H. ? You would pribably make double. I mean no offence but if you are complaining about guys expecting extra at the doll house then you really couldnt work anywere else in the area. I worked a D.H. for 3 years and never had half the rude touchy feely expecting more customers of any other club I worked in tampa bay area. I mean most guys come to thee doll house for quality girls, as they know they can go over to mons or 2001 if they want more. I mean thee doll house has been there 14 years so guys know this. You should either switch to night shift were there are more guys and better quality girls and customers or maybe work at a different club that suits you better. I iknoe doll house isnt what it was when I worked there but I know you can still make money there.

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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Wow, your post really resonated with me Penny. I just burst out crying like a big baby! I empathize completely, and I don't even feel that way all the time. I still make very reasonable money, but I'm doing things (allowing things to be done to me is a better way to put it) I don't think I was ever comfortable with in order to make that money. And I don't do extras- I do no more than average around here, and probably a little less when it comes to boob/ neck kissing...i can't stand that, but it's 'allowed' in Quebec, so customers often expect it. It didn't bother me half as much when I could drink at work...that's not a good thought.

    I also think about what Jenny said- all my friends manage school without dancing. Maybe they're in debt, but which is preferable? I try to think about what true freedom in this situation might be, and I don't know anymore. i hate that stripping is my go-to answer...if I could air-dance, or stage dance-only, it'd be no problem. Not possible in this area.

  24. #24
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf am i going to do?

    Ok, I realize this whole thread is probably a rant and maybe my advice is unwelcome. But the title IS "wtf am I going to do?" and I do hate to see people staying in shitty situations only because they *think* they can't do anything about it. There's always something one can do to improve the situation.

    As for the "many posts" thing, well, I've noticed a pattern, a running theme. That the customers are cheap, rude and overly demanding in Pretty Penny's club/city. If it were me, I'd get the hell out of there. Whether that means quitting dancing or moving, I wouldn't just keep putting up with it, because it's obviously become too much to bear. You've said in this thread that dealing with it the way Jenny does isn't working, and we KNOW the club scene there isn't going to improve anytime soon. So the only viable solution is to remove yourself from it.

    I realize moving is a big deal for most people. Not for me, but that's another story LOL. But, you're saying another job isn't going to work, dancing in Tampa isn't working either, but you have to dance to afford school. You want to stay in school (and quitting or putting that off again is the LAST thing I'd advise). So, the only way to continue school and support yourself, according to what you're saying, would be to do it in another city where the dancing business is better.

    Boyfriend is another issue. You have 4 years invested with him and don't want to give him up. Understandable and I'm not about to say you should dump him. On the other hand, if staying with him means staying in Tampa (is his job that good? he REALLY couldn't get another job in another city?? are you sure???), then it also means putting up with the shit in Tampa, or taking a lower paying job, or maybe even putting off school AGAIN, maybe some combo of those. Are you willing to give up any or all of your goals for him? What's he willing to give up for YOU? I'm gonna venture that, since you're sharing one car with him, his job isn't that great and he could get something comparable in another city. Maybe he should consider making that sacrifice so you can dance in better conditions and finish school. It might just do wonders not only for YOUR sanity, but for the relationship.

    Another job. Have you even looked at what's out there with any seriousness? I'm not assuming you haven't, just asking based on your seemingly automatic answer that it just won't work. Because if you're only assuming it won't work and not even trying, then 1) of course it won't work and 2) maybe it would if you really gave it some thought and effort. Maybe you wouldn't have to work 40 hours a week. Or maybe you could find a job where you could do schoolwork at work - I know it sounds impossible, but I've heard of plenty of students who found jobs like that and did just fine. I once worked as a waitress at a country club and made enough money to pay my bills just working 25 hours a week. I worked with several college students who did the same thing - we made great money there. I hear banquet serving at big resorts pays well also. Just some thoughts...

    There's also financial aid. I know getting into debt is not ideal, but if you are unwilling to move, quit school, etc, then maybe taking some student loans to get you through school without having to depend on dancing in Tampa is the best solution. Also, you'd be amazed at how your attitude toward dancing improves when suddenly you don't feel you HAVE TO do it....

    I don't mean to come off preachy, just genuinely trying to help. My suggestions may seem extreme, but it sounds like your situation is extreme. Tough times require making tough decisions, and all those cliches. Cliches are often right on the money though

    Anyway, I'd like to leave you with this: If you believe you can't change your situation, then you can't. If you believe that you can, then you can. Whatever you look for in life, that's exactly what you'll find. If you look for a solution to your problem, you'll find one. It may not happen instantly, or overnight, or in a week or month. But it will happen, and the more you look and the more you believe, the faster it will happen. I truly believe these things and honestly, most people would be shocked just how it works.

    All the specific things I'm suggesting are just suggestions. Only you can decide what will work best for you, but hopefully I've at least given you enough of a "pep talk" to help lift your spirits a bit and motivate you to figure it out


    ETA: I just read your post saying bf is going to look for a better job. That's a good start. You can still do other things to help the situation sooner, like get a student loan or find another job just for the time being.
    Last edited by Bridgette; 05-06-2007 at 02:08 PM.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    ^^Great Post Bridgette!







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