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Thread: Tell me what you think (LONG)

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    Default Tell me what you think (LONG)

    SO I found this on a local strip club review page oh some people heres a link http://www.dfwnites.com/discthread.asp?p=9400
    Sorry to her if is sound kinda bitchy toward her just came out that way

    To the girl thinking about it---Don't, To the one doing it--you can get out. - Overit
    When I first moved to TX to go to school I was a waitress at a pancake house. I knew a waitress who was 26 and just starting over after getting out of dancing. I was curious about her previous job and I asked her questions. It sounded like fun and so I went to the club she used to work at and applied to be a waitress there. I loved that I made so much money in such a short amount of time and I could still go to school and study. After being at the club awhile I got used to the atmosphere and started realizing that the dancers weren't on their feet all day, some just randomly left after being there for two hours because they were tired and they made an EFF ton more money than I did--and some only came in on weekends. So of course, I thought dancing would be a better choice for me and my busy school schedule at the time. I remember the first time I went back into the dressing room and one of the girls looked and me and said "what are you doing? You're in school right? You can get a normal job, can't you?" I said "yeah." She said "get your clothes back on and go to school. You're going to become irresponsible because things are going to start coming so easily for you, you'll start drinking or doing drugs because everyone else does it and you'll work to support that habbit, you'll spend more money than you can keep track of and get bad credit and you'll have the reputation of a ho. Go home, girl!" That was the best advice I never took. I thought I was different. I Thought "I'm just doing this to get through school and have a better schedule. Once I'm out of school, I'll stop." And I had fun. I didn't know what the hell she was talking about when I started. But as time whent on, I made a lot of money. I had an expensive apartment, large furniture and car payments, phones, everything. The lifestyle I was able to afford allowed me to go out with friends more, take my friends out, buy stupid things and totally skip a few classes here and there because i was tired or hungover from working the night before. Before I danced, I never drank. I was 19 and thought it was wrong to drink before 21. I held out until I was 20. I started having low self esteem from the guys who weren't interested in me and started gaining confidence from what someone was willing to pay to have me dance for them. I was often depressed and didn't know why. I didn't realize that I had started to hate myself. I wanted to get out of it and tried so many times, but the bills I had racked up wouldn't allow me to stop. And since I was young, inexperienced and hadn't finished school, I couldn't get a job that would support the mess that I'd made. I dropped out of school several times to try to pay things off via dancing--"I'll just take a year off, pay all this off and then live a normal life again." But the way the money ebs and flows makes it impossible for someone who is already depressed and newly unstable to save. This went on for years. If I had just stayed living at home until I graduated college, I'd be a lot farther in life than I am now. Dancing was the worst thing I've ever done to myself and my life. If there's any girl who is reading this because they want to know more about it and are thinking of doing it, please know that it doesn't matter who you are or where you came from or how good of a head you have on your shoulders--your goals will be crippled in some way. For anyone who wants to get out of it, I'm proof that you can do it. It's not easy, but with faith and determination and patience, there is a way. I finally graduated when I was 25. It took me 8 years to get through school. Now at 28 I work at a successful production company where I am a script writer and a director. This is the first year that I feel my self-esteem starting to recover and I don't have the "fear" of people and judgement that you end up with, but waste all your energy trying to hide. I'm not trying to preach to anyone about anything. I promise. It just kills me when I know I could've been where I am now so much earlier in life if I'd never stepped foot in those clubs. I wish that someone or something--anything had kept me from doing it. Hopefully I can be that person for someone.

    my reply:
    so enlightened - WOW
    WOW! Now, I know all the secerts HA! SO I guess the fact that I don't waste the money I earn, I only work on nights I do not have school the next day. I DONT do drugs nor will I ever given the fact I used to and quit on my own before dancing. Huh I limit my alchol to the point that when I leave I know I can pass a breathalizer. But I guess we all fall right into it huh. No maybe its called approaching dancing as a J=O=B, nothing more nothing less. It is not a party where you magicly get paid its work. You go, put on the face, do your shit and go home. Dont hang out with anyone you've met in the club (co worker or customer) and you make your friends at school, etc.. Its not that hard to not get caught up all it takes is maturity and the right mind frame at approaching a SOB.

    her again:
    me too... - Overit
    That's the point I am trying to make. I did all those things you are doing. I honestly have no idea how it spirled downward. I've still never touched drugs and didn't drink that much--but any was different. I never hung out with anyone after work, I didn't know anyone that I worked with and I was never an "extras" type. I think it's just that you can't control how the act of being paid based on how you look, selling yourself as an "item" and the secret you have to keep from a lot of people in your "real" life affects you psychologically. If it hasn't yet, then hopefully you can stay afloat before it does. But it manifests itself in ways you don't even notice. I was making a lot of money just from regulars who wanted to hang out and maybe get one dance all day and I dreaded going to work. I didn't know why because it was so easy and I only did it a few times a week. I don't think I ever worked a full week's schedule. I think if you are a real person with a real heart and don't use drugs to get through it, just human chemistry and social science says that this job will have an affect on your self-esteem. Perhaps if you are aware that it is a possibility you'll be able to take a step back when you start to see the signs.
    ? - Overit
    It's a matter of chosing what kind of life you want more. Both have intense sacrifices. It seems like you would have to sell the house and move into something smaller for the time being and ask for help with the kids while you get some sort of certificate or degree. Maybe you could wait tables instead? It totally sucks, but I think it would be worth it in the end. One thing you can do is become a personal trainer at a gym. There are a lot of certificates that allow you to study on your own time and then take a test later. I recommend PFIT in Houston. Look it up online. You'd have to make the drive on the weekends for about two months, but if you study hard and pass the test, it's a very strong certification to have. Most gyms in TX will hire you if they have openings. The classes are very good and very helpful. This certificate also allows you to work independantly if you so choose. A lot of times there are people in your class that you can network with. If you can't make the trip to Houston, order the ACE certificate package online. They'll supply you with materials to study and you schedule a date to take the exam. If you can pass that exam, you may only have to make the trip to Houston one weekend to take their review exam and their practical exam and you can get both certifications. You might have to wait tables while you build up your clientele, but once you have steady customers, you should be set in that genre. I know plenty of trainers who take care of all their bills and kids with that kind of work. They also teach aerobics classes a few times a week on top of that. Just a suggestion. There are many other options, I'm sure. That's just the route I know the best. Certifications are great. They're quick and often times you'll be in a networking environment, which a lot of times is much stronger than a degree. Best Wishes!

    Once again me:
    oh - OH
    So you work for this gym in Houston? Did you have emotional issues with your self-esteem when you started? First off... no I dont believe it will effect me now nor ever. 1. Everyone knows this so called "secert" why because family is important to me and they know that I will not let this job effect me. Secondly, yeah I make decent money not anything spectacuilar just enough and Im fine with that when I see those girls making 500+ then I think super they are doing something im not giving themselves up for money (not just sexually but mentally also) Your personal experience is not everyones have you ever been to Stripper Web? Many retired dancers there who didn't end up the way you did. You amaze me don't dicate your personal experience as a rule for every girl to fall into. Yes it might happen to many but not all. Also how old where you when you started? Did you have a child? Had you ever held a "REAL" job aka the military, an office job with a 401K and health, a certified position in anything besides grocery girl, waitress, etc? Theres so many factors in your personal life history that could have effected your outcome. Please before you get all high and mighty with my experience = your experience think about the big picture. Yes, I already have a set quitting date which I know the money will decrease substaniouly but it does not bother me b/c as of right now the money is strictly a bonus which goes into a savings account (O M G a stripper has a real life savings account)!


    edit - edit
    Not all girls makeing $500 plus are "giving something up" just loved as a person by many or one and thats cool
    Last edited by texasprice13; 05-05-2007 at 03:18 PM. Reason: edit

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    Default Re: Tell me what you think (LONG)

    hmmm, I find this (and many other similar discussions) interesting. I can see both sides. I often try to dissuade newbie and wannabe dancers from the job. Not because I've had a bad experience personally, but because there are many hidden risks involved that some girls don't consider. I've also seen, after over 7 years in the industry, that most dancers are not really cut out for this business. It tears them apart mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. As with everything, when something appears too good to be true, it usually is.
    Yes, there are plenty of success stories (on this board especially). Dancing has done so much for me that my knee-jerk response is to defend it as the greatest thing since sliced bread. But I am also self-aware enough to understand the things I have given up and the trade-offs I have made. I think it's fair to put anyone considering dancing "through the ringer" so to speak. This is not a decision to be made lightly. Every new dancer needs to hear the whole story and weigh her options. In an industry that destroys at least as many people as it helps, making the decision to start will be the first of many challenges that will test her strength.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Tell me what you think (LONG)

    I hate it when people blame their own failings on inanimate objects and or lifestyles they were partaking of...."The club ruined me, the drink & drugs ruined me, all those horrible people ruined me..." I'm not denying that she has a point (that young naive girls will get fed through a meatgrinder if they're not careful) but beyond that her story could have happened anywhere, to anyone.
    Before I started dancing, the thing I was told that a dancer NEEDED to be was "strong." So if you're not strong, don't try this job.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me what you think (LONG)

    This girl's situation sounds just like mine I can see where she's coming from. She's not judging strippers, she's just trying to warn others what COULD happen.

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    Default Re: Tell me what you think (LONG)

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    This girl's situation sounds just like mine I can see where she's coming from. She's not judging strippers, she's just trying to warn others what COULD happen.
    It sounds like mine too. I can't say I really regret dancing, but I got myself into a lot of crazy and horrible things as a result of it. However, if I had started at 25 instead of 20, things might have been different and I might have had the maturity to deal with it a little better. It's hard to say and I don't like playing the game of "what could have been."
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    Default Re: Tell me what you think (LONG)

    I know for a fact that I could not have danced starting out at 18. I didn't start dancing until I was almost 30, there's no way I would've had the strength to do it. There are girls at my club that are very young and are obviously very mature for their age and I give them a ton of credit because I know I wouldn't have been able to do it. I would've gotten into so many drugs, become an alcoholic and would've self destructed. I have to on a regular basis remind myself of things to keep things in check and I'm 30 with much more life experiences than these young 18 yr olds. Sometimes I think I wish I could've started younger because I could've had more money but I know deep down if I did start younger I would've pissed all the money away and self destructed. There's this one girl at my club whose 20, been dancing since 18 and she's an amazing woman, very strong with a good head on her. She's in college, she knows exactly what she wants to do with her club and is using dancing to put herself through school. She saves every penny she can so she'll have money for grad school. She doesn't drink, or do drugs, she's so mature for her age, she's got the maturity of someone close to 30, I really admire her a lot! But we know that not everyone in this industry is that fortunate.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me what you think (LONG)

    Well, SOME girls may not get caught up in the many pitfalls that come with dancing, but I would say MOST do get caught up in at least some of those pitfalls. Since the vast majority of girls who dance are very young when they start, it's simply unreasonable to expect that most will have the maturity to avoid all of it. It takes a STRONG will, more than most realize, and more than most have. This is why we all see so many girls who are so fucked up, and why the stereotypes exist.

    If nothing else, most of us get caught up with the fast money and don't save anything for years because we think "there's always tomorrow". I did, most girls I've ever worked with did, and I'll bet if we're all honest, most girls on this site did/do too. I see posts all the time where girls are complaining about being broke and they are obviously living day to day, just barely getting by despite the fact they COULD be doing so much better. Fortunately for me this was my only real problem and I've been able to recover from that. I have to chalk up my previous irresponsibility to being young and inexperienced.

    There are plenty of girls I've known, worked with, chatted with here, who've gotten caught up in drugs/booze and dancing either helped cause or exacerbated the problem for them. Lots of girls post here about how much they drink, asking for advice on how to quit or cut down at work, and occasionally about how much they smoke, etc before/during/after work. I read/hear allllll the time how girls feel they NEED a little liquid courage just to be able to make money - and when I or someone else says "if you NEED to be drinking or drugging just to work you shouldn't be a stripper", girls ALWAYS come and argue that. They always manage to justify their dependence, and can't/won't admit it's a problem.

    Most of us struggle in some way with keeping the job a secret from family, friends and co-workers. We aren't all fortunate enough to have such understanding people in our lives that we won't be ostracized for our choices if we tell. This DOES affect us. I consider myself a pretty well-adjusted stripper, and most folks would agree, but the fact that I've always had to lie to my grandparents does bother me. I love them and lying to them makes me uncomfortable. But in this case it's the lesser of two evils so I deal with it. I know I am not alone in this.

    And then there's the abuse from customers, coworkers and managers. We are alllllll affected by that in some way, no matter how strong we are. I am not one to put up with bullshit and I'm super quick to tell someone to fuck off, walk away or whatever, but sometimes things still get to me. I see many many girls who are way less "no-bullshit" than me just putting up with crap for whatever reason. It *has to* eat at them.

    So that girl isn't so far off the mark. In fact I'd say she's closer to ON the mark than OP who says she's wrong.

    I always try to discourage wannabes from starting this job because I KNOW as well as I know my name that they can't possibly have considered all the risks involved. 99.999% of the time they are just starry-eyed and only see $$$$s and "easy money". Unfortunately, they always seem to think they know better than those of us with the actual experience, and canNOT be conviced. So they start, and the vast majority of them fall right into one or several traps before they even realize it.

    I have always said that girls should not be allowed to dance until they're 21 and maybe even older than that, because by then at least they should have had a little time to experience a few things and develop some maturity and willpower. Vast majority of these 18-19yo little girls are just that: little girls fresh out of the nest with NO IDEA about life and how to manage themselves, because they're used to someone else always doing it for them. That is NO WAY to enter the world of stripping.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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