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Thread: I'm leaving my husband.

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    Senior Member -Stacia-'s Avatar
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    Default I'm leaving my husband.

    He's treated me like shit for the last 3 years. Last night was the last straw when he punched me in the mouth and busted my lip because I was driving in the right lane instead of the left. Yes, that is really what it was over. I've got a 1 year old, who unfortunately is visiting my mother in law in Georgia right now and my husband is responsible for going to get him. He's hit me before and is controlling and last night said he wouldn't think twice about killing me. I don't want to make this long and drawn out.. Just some encouragement to go through with this would be amazing right now. Thanks ladies.
    The type of girl you wanna chew all of my bubblegum

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    Veteran Member Cyndi08's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    I don't care what you were doing.... even if he caught you fucking another man... no one has the right to hit you, especially a man who doesn't need to prove strength to a woman.

    Pathetic and dangerous, run run run!

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  4. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Don't be afraid to go to the women's shelter to request aid. In some states the cost of some of your legal bills can be waived or reduced- the shelter can point you in the right direction.

    I'm so glad to hear you are doing this for yourself. We're here for you.

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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Thank God you know to get out. Hitting a woman is bad enough to warrant leaving, but when you add him telling you he wouldn't think twice about killing you, yes, RUN RUN RUN! Don't look back. It'll be difficult for a little while, but you know you will find someone else, and that people do just fine raising kids on their own, I say this because I've heard it from a very close friend of mine...."what am I supposed to do? I have a child with him." The answer, have a child without him, you are both better off.
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    file a police report and talk to a lawyer.

    i'd wait to get him arrested until you have your son back but only for that long. but if you feel you can't wait (violent), then don't.

    good luck!

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Oh my gosh, you poor thing.. Good for you for making the decision to leave him, noone deserves to be treated like that.

    Be sure and go to the police and report his abuse and get a restraining order. A death threat? OMG. Especially since you guys are married and have a child together-it will definitely not work in his favor when custody is being decided. *Hugs*

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    I don't have anything to add to what everyone is saying but I just wanted to say that I think you are doing the right thing.

    And I'm so damned sorry you're going through this. Stay safe and stay strong.

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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    Oh my gosh, you poor thing.. Good for you for making the decision to leave him, noone deserves to be treated like that.

    Be sure and go to the police and report his abuse and get a restraining order. A death threat? OMG. Especially since you guys are married and have a child together-it will definitely not work in his favor when custody is being decided. *Hugs*
    VERY good advice! Have the cops document what he did to you, as well as the threats, as this could be held against you later on if you don't...
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

    ~Che Guevara, "The Motorcycle Diaries"

  10. #9
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    My god...my eyes went from wide to wider as I read your post Stacia. Please run!

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    Be sure and go to the police and report his abuse and get a restraining order. A death threat? OMG. Especially since you guys are married and have a child together-it will definitely not work in his favor when custody is being decided. *Hugs*
    Definanately! I will keep you and your little one in my prayers. Please seek outside help. Death threats should ALWAYS be taken seriously. Don't ever doubt them. Have you gone to the police yet?







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Featured Member pinkpvc's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    It take a lot of courage for women to leave an abusive husband and i really admire you for your quick decision to leave. i know often woman think they should stay with a man because of their children. But no child should be brought up in a violent household. You have made the best decision and i wish you the best.

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    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    Oh my gosh, you poor thing.. Good for you for making the decision to leave him, noone deserves to be treated like that.

    Be sure and go to the police and report his abuse and get a restraining order. A death threat? OMG. Especially since you guys are married and have a child together-it will definitely not work in his favor when custody is being decided. *Hugs*
    I agree with the other ladies that this is good advice. Get the hell out of there honey, it can only go downhill from here.

  14. #13
    Senior Member -Stacia-'s Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    I haven't gone to the police yet, he will lose his job and since I'm in school I'm very limited on how much I can work and his income is basically the only way to provide everything I want to give to my son. I went to try to take pictures of my busted lip but I think he has the memory card for the camera with him. He's coming back to the house tonight and I've got to figure out a way to find the memory card and take pictures without him being suspicious.

    I don't want him to know what I'm up to. I also spoke to my dad on the phone, and my husband is leaving for El Paso on Monday for his job for a few months so next week I think my dad and I are going to try to go out to Georgia to get my son early. I'm right in the middle of finals, I'm so stressed. I just want this to all be over with! Thanks for all the support though ladies.

    BTW, does anybody know if he can pay some extra money or whatever to verizon and it will tell him what my text messages said?
    The type of girl you wanna chew all of my bubblegum

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Quote Originally Posted by -Stacia- View Post
    I haven't gone to the police yet, he will lose his job and since I'm in school I'm very limited on how much I can work and his income is basically the only way to provide everything I want to give to my son. I went to try to take pictures of my busted lip but I think he has the memory card for the camera with him. He's coming back to the house tonight and I've got to figure out a way to find the memory card and take pictures without him being suspicious.

    I don't want him to know what I'm up to. I also spoke to my dad on the phone, and my husband is leaving for El Paso on Monday for his job for a few months so next week I think my dad and I are going to try to go out to Georgia to get my son early. I'm right in the middle of finals, I'm so stressed. I just want this to all be over with! Thanks for all the support though ladies.

    BTW, does anybody know if he can pay some extra money or whatever to verizon and it will tell him what my text messages said?
    Honey, I know that school is a major issue for you, but your LIFE is much more important than a final. Explain to your professors that you have an EXTREME family emergency, and that you wish to take an "I" (incomplete) and take the final at a later date.

    I know you're stressing out right now, but you really need to keep your cool as well as your focus. I know money can be tight BUT you CAN DO IT!

    My mom left my dad at the age of 27 with 3 kids. She left the city, and ran away. My mom had NOTHING when we moved except the clothes on our backs. Trust me, you can do it! Just keep the faith!







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    OMG honey!!!! Yes, you're totally making the right decision to leave this A-hole. Do you have a car? Why not just pick up a disposable camera, and take pictures with that before he gets off? Hell, if you want, PM me. I can take a few pictures for you. You're smart by waiting to drop the bomb until he is gone and not a threat to you. Get your son before he knows anything is going on. Does your husband know you read Stripperweb? If so, consider that he might read this and take the appropriate precautions.

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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    About the text messages, they're probably stored on your phone as well as by the company. I don't think he can pay Verizon to see them, but I would keep my phone away from him as well. Delete your call logs too. Here's an article, http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/...in621388.shtml

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Quote Originally Posted by -Stacia- View Post
    I haven't gone to the police yet, he will lose his job and since I'm in school I'm very limited on how much I can work and his income is basically the only way to provide everything I want to give to my son. I went to try to take pictures of my busted lip but I think he has the memory card for the camera with him. He's coming back to the house tonight and I've got to figure out a way to find the memory card and take pictures without him being suspicious.
    i think you should still go to the police. whether or not you press charges immediately is up to you but at least it's on record that there's an issue. the police should be at least able to suggest some options (shelters, aid, legal, etc.).

    he doesn't have to go to jail (yet) or even know of it but you need to be proactive here. you're "sleeping with the enemy" at this point. you have to get out of there before he does do something a lot worst.

    i know you're worried about the finances but even if you go back home i think that's better than staying (it sounds like your dad would be more than willing to take you and your son in). put the schooling on hold and take care of "business".

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Oh, Stacia this is the exact cycle you need to break. In so many words, you just justified your reasons for staying with him. If you file a police report, he will lose his job, therefore your income... If you are leaving him, you don't need his income, right?

    Taking a picture yourself will do absolutely no good whatsoever, it has to be done by the police. For your safety and the safety of your child, please run fast. If he abuses you, what will he do to your child? Do you really want a life-long attachment to someone like that?

    If you two divorce and there is no record of his physical abuse, chances are he will get joint custody/visitation. On the other hand, if there is a public record of him being abusive/volatile if he gets any custody at all, they will be supervised visits.

    Stay with a friend, or your Dad (it sounds like he lives in town), or hell, even a shelter. If your son is with your Mom and she knows what is going on I'm sure she would care for him until you can get back on your feet.

    Please, please please get out of there. I don't want to see you hurt.

  20. #19
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Quote Originally Posted by -Stacia- View Post
    I haven't gone to the police yet, he will lose his job and since I'm in school I'm very limited on how much I can work and his income is basically the only way to provide everything I want to give to my son.
    That's not an excuse. You NEED to go to the cops, ASAP!

    You're being amazingly strong, and I applaud you, but you must go to the police.

    Money will find a way.

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    Senior Member precise212's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    About text & phone calls.
    My ex-husband (who i put on FRO) knew my SSN and tons of private data. He used it to call Verizon and got an access to the on-line view of my phone calls AND numbers since i left him. He did it quetly and i only found out becouse Verizon sent me a letter notifying me that i "visited online on certain date". I called and fixed it. Be aware he could trace identities of people you are in touch with.
    If you can , TAPE EVERY PHONE CALL FROM HIM-it will serve as evidence. Visit Radioshark.

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    Veteran Member Cyndi08's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    i think you should still go to the police. whether or not you press charges immediately is up to you but at least it's on record that there's an issue. the police should be at least able to suggest some options (shelters, aid, legal, etc.).

    he doesn't have to go to jail (yet) or even know of it but you need to be proactive here. you're "sleeping with the enemy" at this point. you have to get out of there before he does do something a lot worst.

    i know you're worried about the finances but even if you go back home i think that's better than staying (it sounds like your dad would be more than willing to take you and your son in). put the schooling on hold and take care of "business".
    although going to the police is a good option, once you do that the state is after him and pressing charges or not is no longer an option for you. It's up to the state. I called the cops on an ex once and standard procedure was to arrest immediately, sort out later. They took pics of my face, and took him off in a cop car. I didn't have to fight, the state did it for me. What I would do is call an attorney, even if it's not in your finances. Get some free advice over the phone b/c they will know the exact laws.

    Just do what you need to. If you're leaving SOON, you don't need his income! Who cares about his job? You can do this, you really can.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    file a police report and talk to a lawyer.

    i'd wait to get him arrested until you have your son back but only for that long. but if you feel you can't wait (violent), then don't.

    good luck!
    great advice, agreed. you can do this Stacia!

    Love it!

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    Veteran Member BmiWMT14's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    I cant really add anything that has not been said, and its all excellent advice. Be careful, and see it through!

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    Veteran Member BB1984's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Everyone has givven excellent advice, and I definitely think that you should leave before he even gets home this evening. And I'm sure that if you call your dean and tell him what is going on he will be understanding. As for his job, you are leaving so it doesn't really matter if he loses it. All I can suggest is that you leave ASAP, and get your son ASAP, and then go stay with a close friend or family member, and I strongly suggest filing a police report immediatley. Hugs, and I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

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    Featured Member Paintbaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm leaving my husband.

    Get out and stay out. You can do this. If that animal kills you , your son will only have him as a parent. Even if you have to stay in a shelter, you will still be ALIVE. Abusers who casually toss off how easy it would be to kill you eventually do. In his mind, he has already made it okay. Save yourself and your son. This should not be about money. Essentially, this is as dire an emergency as if you were fleeing a burning house. Your house is on fire--RUN!

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