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Thread: the ex or the new guy?

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    Default the ex or the new guy?

    ok so heres the deal. im living with a ex of mine and i know he loves me yada yada but he doesnt want to commit,he says maybe in the future,but im tired of waiting. when i start talking to a new guy he gets really weird acting like hes all jealous but wont admit it,and he will start to get all kissy huggy,when before i talk to someone new hes never like that! i think its a whole territoral thing.like he doesnt want me but he doesnt want any one else to have me either,make sence? anywho, i have met someone new and i absolutely adore the guy! problem is hes married but not happy with the marriage. weve hooked up once,and talk to each other everday. hes thinking about getting a divorce,soon. but anyways still apart of me feels like should i keep trying to persue my old ex who im live with if he doesnt even want me? or should i keep going after this guy,whos amazing,hes sweet,caring,loves to cuddle,ec,when my ex hates to cuddle,shows almost zero emotion,and doesnt want me,or right now anyways. i think i should just do myself a favor and move on from the ex,and see what happens with this new guy. if things dont work out then i guess i got my answer. im just not willing to wait on this ex anymore,it hurt me inside and makes me feel belittled and not good enough. so whats yalls opinion?thank ya!

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    Default Re: the ex or the new guy?

    Seems to me like you are setting yourself up for the exact same situation again...hooking up with a man that won't/can't commit.

    You need to move on and find someone who is worthy of you and your love. That married man is a cheater and are you absolutely sure he's not feeding you a line? If he truly didn't want to be married, he wouldn't be.

    Don't pursue either of them is my opinion. Get out there on your own, figure out who you are and what you want and then, when you're a whole person, love will come to you. And you'll accept it on your terms!

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    Default Re: the ex or the new guy?

    In my opinion, you sound like you're trying to figure out which is the lesser of two evils.

    I read you say pros and cons about each guy, and what you don't want, but this skirts around the very important question, "What do YOU want?".

    RELATIONSHIPS are not this complicated. It's either what you want, or not what you want. You don't WANT either of these guys, so you're trying to sell yourself the hope that they may turn into what you want...

    You should decide what you do WANT in a relationship (don't worry, it will change HUNDREDS of times to the most minute detail. Relationships are living breathing embodiments of our ability to connect. They grow as do we.) and when you do, COMMIT to that and only that.

    So look at these two guys that aren't what you want. Why aren't they? Are they funny? cute? a good time? sexy? great in bed? These things are all ok, but you need to know this, so you don't get lost in some baseless fantasy. Perhaps you're afraid to be alone?

    Tell them that they aren't what you're looking for and why. This will tell them what you DO want and give them the opportunity to rise to that knowing full well you're looking elsewhere while they take their time to decide. This commands equality and shows YOU what they think of YOU.

    Good luck!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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