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Thread: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

  1. #26
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    ^^^ Hear, hear.

  2. #27
    Star_bare_elegance
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    I have left him... 4 now...Talking didn't work at all he just doesn't get it. I am at my moms house and i turned my cell off. it's hard 4 me not to call him but i'll survive. thanks for the support guys.

  3. #28
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    Wow, I'm sorry hun. Stay strong!

  4. #29
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by Star_bare_elegance View Post
    I have left him... 4 now...Talking didn't work at all he just doesn't get it. I am at my moms house and i turned my cell off. it's hard 4 me not to call him but i'll survive. thanks for the support guys.
    If there's anything I can do to help reinforce the decision, let me know.

    It sucks now, but like all things, it's only temporal. You'll get through it. Stick to your guns and what you want.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  5. #30
    Member honeycake's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    Hi Star!
    I just wanted to offer you a *HUG* and hope that you find the strength to sort out this issue and decide what is best for you. Weigh all of the pros and the cons, and decide whether or not to stay or leave. You are my age, and we are way too young to be staying with men who aren't ready to sacrifice their meanness and harshness for us. We have feelings and those feelings need to be acknowledged. Take care girl. Good luck! Stay up!

    Ranika

  6. #31
    Star_bare_elegance
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by honeycake View Post
    Hi Star!
    I just wanted to offer you a *HUG* and hope that you find the strength to sort out this issue and decide what is best for you. Weigh all of the pros and the cons, and decide whether or not to stay or leave. You are my age, and we are way too young to be staying with men who aren't ready to sacrifice their meanness and harshness for us. We have feelings and those feelings need to be acknowledged. Take care girl. Good luck! Stay up!

    Ranika
    Thank you for this ^^^^^^^

    I have decided to stay but once again we are not speaking to each other. This time it's the morning after pill and my big mouth that are at fault. Out of whack hormones and young love don't mix

  7. #32
    God/dess Golden_Rule's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by Star_bare_elegance View Post
    He does this a lot... his sisters notice it too. I tell myself it's just a part of his personality ( he has good traits) but today is the first time it really hurt my feelings. This began as a rant but ended up something much more serious. I'm asking you guys if i am being too sensitve I guess.

    Star, you joined around the same time I did and I have been reading your posts, off and on, for that period.

    I am a 49 year old fella who has seen a lot first hand and watched all manner of people do just about everything else. I couldn't tell you one way or another what to do about your feelings on this. I truly doubt anyone here, with any sense of reality behind it, could either.

    We know too little about each other and nothing at all about your BF, other than what you have written.

    I would pass along a kind word to you and hope it works out for your best, but other than that I would suggest that you not make any decisions based on anything you might read on a web community like this one.

    Peace.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

  8. #33
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by Star_bare_elegance View Post
    I was just talking to my bf about my day and I told him I did my sister and her daughters hair at their home.
    The rest of our conversation was this:

    Was it worth it?
    yeah i made $100 dollars which was good
    well is that fair?
    yeah that's what it cost in the shop ....
    did you factor in driving time (15 miles)?
    no not really
    do you ever see your sister when your not doing her hair?
    sometimes


    ..... then he says i guess it doesn't matter what i say anyway because you do what you wanna do anyway. Then he cracks jokes and compares me to his friend who's mom scammed him out of a lot of money... just like mine did. I don't know why he is so cynical (hope that's the word) but I want to cry after talking to him. I feel so bad right now. I think he is insensitive to my family situation because he has both his parents and believes he has the model family. I also thinks he looks down on me because I am not traditional college educated(cosmetology). he also thinks he is perfect as well (educated good job etc.). I love him but at this moment I'm not sure if that's enough... I'm confused and really hurt. sorry.
    Want me to kick his ass??
    Last edited by big_daddy; 07-12-2007 at 03:29 PM. Reason: (SP)
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  9. #34
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    Hi Star,

    We can make these things very complicated in our heads--debate, rationalize, forgive, get angry, make up.

    In the end, I think the main question is simple--do the two of you make one another better...do you feel like a better person when you're with this man? It sounds to me like he feels better, because he can exercise his cynicism, but that often you are feeling worse about yourself and life. That is not a healthy balance.

    You are young, and you owe it to yourself especially now to listen to your instincts. You will see in time that his cynicism has a deep root in something he needs to work out--but it is a DEEP root, that would take years to unravel, even if you knew how to do it. I'm going to guess that his father made him feel worthless--probably because there were dreams the father wanted to live out and didn't, so he took it out on his kid. Am I right?

    Good luck with this, Star. If the cynical stuff is continuing, fly free. You'll be glad you did later.
    JK Jim

  10. #35
    Star_bare_elegance
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    Default Re: I Just realized my great bf is not so great. :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by big_daddy View Post
    Want me to kick his ass??
    AWWW thanks but no.... He does deserve a goooooood butt kicking though

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