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Thread: Trying to learn to be reasonable with my weight

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    Default Trying to learn to be reasonable with my weight

    Evidently I have issues with my body, as I have whined about on here ad nauseum (sp? whatever). As it stands, my goal is to get down to a BMI of 18.5 ish, which is on the border of low-healthy. I think this is okay, and would satiate my urge to be thin. I know myself well enough- I wouldn't want to push it lower than that. I use that as my goal because it is slightly more than what I was a few years ago...at my skinny weight I got more compliments/ attention than I ever got before in my life. My ribs were jutting a lot though, so not that far.

    But it is *SO* hard for me to lose weight past a certain point. I'm like BMI 20 now or something, and it's hard to lose more.

    The thing that made me wonder is, since I've lost about six or seven pounds recently, I apparently look 'a lot thinner'. Whenever I lose five pounds, people notice, but I can't see it on myself. I always look the same to my own eyes. This worries me that I have no perspective anymore. I literally don't believe my scales or measuring tape.

    So my question (and this is so annoying, all this obsess-o-rama, and sorry sorry sorry, but I'm all tired today and can't help myself but talk about it)- how do you set reasonable goals? If you can't tell what looks best? Clothing sizes? BMI? Measurements? These are all objective standards that I figure would let me know where I stand. I want to be love handle free. What's a good goal, or what's something that I could measure myself by that is not too unrealistic? I'm beginning to learn that just maybe being a size four is okay for me. That's hard to accept though.

  2. #2
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to learn to be reasonable with my weight

    Molly, honey - part of impulse control disorder is the inability to set reasonable goals and the inability to see that reasonable goals aren't necessary. You need to deal with the problem not indulge the problem just-a-little-bit.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Trying to learn to be reasonable with my weight

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Molly, honey - part of impulse control disorder is the inability to set reasonable goals and the inability to see that reasonable goals aren't necessary. You need to deal with the problem not indulge the problem just-a-little-bit.
    Agreed.

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    Default Re: Trying to learn to be reasonable with my weight

    ...you're right. I have no idea why that is such a huge, monstrously hard thing to do. To just stop thinking about it...would be to completely re-wire my brain. And why it's so hard to go and say "this isn't right with me, I need help with this."..that I go and see people with the goal to admit that...I just bloody can't. I think a part of me just wants to stay wrapped in my cocoon of messy thinking so I don't obsess about all those other, bigger, scarier things that worry me.

    I've been this way my whole damn life. When I was ten I was sure the Ebola virus would come over to Canada some how, based on some book I really was too young to read, and would pass out from anxiety and tell my mother 'my plans for when the plague wipes us out'...how we could make it to the Arctic in time, etc. I would just sit and think about the impending doom, and write all these little notes about it. I just found those cleaning out my old closet the other day and it struck me that maybe I just need things to obsess about. Are there healthy, useful, productive things to obsess about?

    Ok seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I'm going to shut up now. For good. I'm done, and sorry guys. I'm so silly. I get told by my mother (who's like the smartest person I know) that it's useless to complain to people unless you want advice, and once given advice, you either take it, or shut up. Message received. I have to stop indulging this crap.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Trying to learn to be reasonable with my weight

    I agree with Jenny. You don't need to "shut up," you need to see a counselor. You have a disorder. If you had a raging infection or a broken leg, you would see someone whose job it is to fix those things. So why not see someone whose job it is to fix this infection, your broken self-image?

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    Veteran Member Cyndi08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to learn to be reasonable with my weight

    BMI says nothing about muscle compared to fat. I have a fat percent goal.

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    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to learn to be reasonable with my weight

    The body does tend to defend a certain weight. I start to look too skinny below a BMI of 20 or so (I'm medium framed) and my body also tends to resist weight loss below that point. It doesn't seem to like being any less than 113lbs or so (at 5'3.) Perhaps a BMI of 20 is a natural weight for you also- and it's not like you could possibly be even slightly chubby at that size, unless you're a Japanese girl whose frame size is bird-like tiny.

    This would be hard advice for me to take also- but maybe try and accept your body's lower limit?

    As for setting reasonable goals, I tend to aim for the weight that I think has historically looked the best on me without being unhealthy (114lbs).

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