NOTE: Please do not flame this thread. I am respectful of other people's choices, so please be respectful of mine. Please don't start defending your choice to have children, or accuse us of hating children, or tell us that we're horrible people. I especially don't want to hear, "You'll change your mind someday," or, "It's different when they're your own." Maybe it will happen, but you don't know that. No lectures please. You have your lifestyle choices, we have ours.
Who here has decided that they don't want to have children? I've decided not to have children, and here are my reasons:
I'm the first of six children. It's a common misconception that people who have tons of kids love children so much they can't get enough of them. In reality, these people are often in love with ideals, and tend to get upset when their kids don't follow these fantasies. Kids aren't programmable manifestations of ideals, they are humans.
The reason my Dad had 6 kids was because he felt he owed it to the world to spread out his philanthropy. He claims that so many unfit people are breeding that he had to counterbalance it. God, that makes me so sick. That is so arrogant on so many levels. Other people are breeding? Pot, kettle, black. People should only have kids IF THEY CAN RAISE THEM. He had all these ideals of smart, obedient, Christian, Asian children (he married a Japanese woman because he wanted to instill his children with "Good morals and brains"), so he married my mom. He was shocked, just SHOCKED, when he found out that 1) Kids are expensive. My dad also had all these kids knowing that he couldn't afford them, and that he has a debilitating disease that will force him into retirement soon. 2) Kids tend to have their own free wills due to being human and might not be grateful for all the ideals he has, especially if their feelings are swept under the rug in hopes of patching things over so the image can be kept.
My mom had 6 kids because she had no self-worth or identity and tried to fulfill herself as a mother (I have nothing against moms, but if you try to invest yourself in others, it's doomed to fail). She also didn't want to work, ever. There's nothing wrong with that, but don't fucking have kids as a way to "earn your keep," as they will suffer for your insecurities. She has borderline personality disorder, panic attack disorder, and spent most of my childhood being pregnant or having mental breakdowns. Guess who ended up paying for this idealism of a Brady Bunch? Me. I was 8 when I really had to grow up and start being a mom. They always bitched about being a good example and that I had to be mature, yet told me that I was their child and that I was to obey. Talk about being pulled both ways between a child and an adult. They called me selfish when I told them that I was missing gymnastics and orchestra because none of the kids were old enough to stay at home and my mom hated hitching them up into the car just so I could be gone for one hour. I suffered a lot for their idealisms, and I was punished for not going along with this facade. They didn't care about the fact that there were problems, or that they were responsible for a lot of them. Rather, they were upset that the apple cart had been upset.
However, my motives for Childfreedom aren't just based on bad experiences. I am very aware of the freedom that I have because I don't have children. My money is my own, my vacation days are my own, I can go out without having to find a babysitter, I can spontaneously schedule a weekend vacation, I can move to another state on whim, etc. I don't have to worry about terrible twos, teenage years, teen pregnancies, custody drama, etc. Also, just because I'm Childfree doesn't mean I don't like kids. I love kids. I love to play with them, and give them back to their parents. I just don't want to have the responsibility of having one. I'm going to be an auntie several times, over, and I fully intend to be the cool aunt who spoils them rotten and takes them on cool vacations.
Oh yeah, about the, "Who's going to take care of you when you're old?" Kids are no guarantee that you'll be cared for in your old age. People have their own lives, and by the time people are old, their kids and grandkids often have their own families that they have to worry about. Coupled with the fact that people are living way too long nowadays (you survive the heart attack only to have a long, painful, strung-out death from Alzheimer's), families probably won't be able to take care of you due to extensive health problems.
Also, it seems kind of entitlement-minded to have kids just so you'll have a future. I worked in a nursing home, and there were a fair share of people whose kids wouldn't visit them. I did see entitlement in there, especially the nasty ones. However, there were some people without kids. They tended to be a lot less bitter then the people with kids. They also tended to be much more active, having their own activities and passions rather than expect other people to entertain them. They were aware that they had their own lives, as did others. I plan to be like that. I'd love to be one of those sweet old ladies who gets honored for her thousands of hours of community service and is loved by many because of the way she goes out and touches so many lives.
In short, I am Childfree because it keeps me free to do the things that fulfill me.



I have just made my own personal choice never to have kids. I dont think I would make a good mother. Ive already had one abortion and wouldnt hesitate to get another, but luckily, my IUD prevents that from happening!


Otherwise, I don't like children nor do I want to be around them.


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