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Thread: Should I dump him?

  1. #1
    Member magnificentchacha's Avatar
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    Default Should I dump him?

    I like my boyfriend more as a friend who I'm not attracted to. I know I will lose his friendship if I break up with him. Is that a good enough reason to be in a relationship?

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    If there is really a friendship worth saving, it'll be there in time. Trust me. Just don't say that and not make good on it. If you want to be his friend, give him time to get over you and then you'll be able to see if there is a friendship there.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  3. #3
    Member kb52420's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    ummm... are you happy? That's what you need to be asking yourself. As well, if you're not happy, then how can you make him happy in the long run?
    Maybe, someday, things will work out for all of us.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Member magnificentchacha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    No, I'm not happy but I've been with him over a year and I'm scared to be alone.

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    Veteran Member redvelvetrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    Hun, this sounds familiar! I dated a guy for almost 3 years, decided that even though he was pretty much my best friend, the attraction just wasn't there any more. It took me forever to figure it out (too long, IMO), but I realized that if I wasn't wholeheartedly into the relationship, it wasn't fair to him to keep going along with it for fear of losing what I had. It sucked, yes, but it was the right thing to do.

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    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    If he was a friend worth having, he'd eventually get over the breakup and be just that- your friend. If you're not into him than you owe the both of you the favor of breaking off the intimate relationship if it's only a dead end. Better to end it now than later. Sometimes you're going to end up breaking a heart or two. It's hard but it's a fact of relationships and life. Learn it and move on, it'll be easier next time. I hope you two can remain friends.

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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    If there is really a friendship worth saving, it'll be there in time. Trust me. Just don't say that and not make good on it. If you want to be his friend, give him time to get over you and then you'll be able to see if there is a friendship there.
    I agree with this. I dated a friend for two years. Our breakup was an 8-month hell. I couldn't take a phone call that didn't end in 'I love you.' We played this friends with benefits/ex/best friend card for so long. It was pure confusion. Finally, I took my roommate's advice and turned off my cell phone. I had moved to another city almost two hours away so I never ran into him. We didn't see each other or speak for three months. When we finally started talking again, we had moved on in our lives, done some causal dating, and we slowly became friends again. And when I say slowly, I mean that now, almost a year since we started talking again, we talk weekly at most. But those talks last 30 minutes and are saturated with secrets and inside jokes and comfort I don't find in anyone else. There's a trust there I can't explain. And it was worth waiting for.

    Bottom line, if your boyfriend would be better as a friend, be honest with yourself and honest with him. If you stay together, who knows what you'll (both) be missing out on. Of course it will be difficult, breaking up is rarely fun. But in the end, won't it be worth it to have a completely honest relationship with him?

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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    Yes, be honest with him and how you feel about the relationship. You owe him that much - honesty that is. I find it odd youve been with him so long and youre not even attracted to the guy. I know its not all about looks but its apart of it. Besides youre not happy.

    Why is it so bad to be alone? Sometimes when people are alone they find things out about themselves they would have never discovered if they were in a relationship. Its a part of life and a part of growing as a human being.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Member kb52420's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    Why is it so bad to be alone? Sometimes when people are alone they find things out about themselves they would have never discovered if they were in a relationship. Its a part of life and a part of growing as a human being.

    Why are you scared? Do you just hate not having anyone to take the attention off of yourself? or do you just hate being by yourself physically (that's my problem I'm trying too get over)
    Maybe, someday, things will work out for all of us.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Member magnificentchacha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    Its being alone physically. I live alone and sometimes its scary at night, lol.
    TigersMilk: I was attracted to him initially but that has dissapeared over time
    BTW thanks everyone, you all are so supportive

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Should I dump him?

    I've lived for a long time. As far as safety goes be aware of your surroundings at all times. Theres more better tips in some of the 'stalker' threads on how to be safe.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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