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Thread: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

  1. #1
    Picaresque
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    Default alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    If I had to pick just one thing that I hate most about dancing, and if I could have one and only one thing cosmically banished from clubs forever, it would be LICKERS. There is nothing quite so nasty as a gross slobbery tongue that smells like a landfill, dripping drool and germs on my body. Actually, there is something nastier--having it happen multiple times a night.

    I can't believe any guy actually thinks this is sexy for anyone. It reminds me of a dog; it sure as hell doesn't make me think "mmmm sexy!" Who actually thinks women like this?

    I've tried the bitter apple spray in the past, but it did absolutely no good. I'm not sure why; maybe my skin neutralized it or something? *baffled shrug* All I know is it provided absolutely no deterrent; the lickers just kept bobbing their nasty heads and flicking their tongues desperately trying to get a lick in, as if they hadn't tasted anything off-putting.

    I then tried tabasco sauce, but that had a very...distinct smell to it...no good.

    So, anything else that works? I think i remember reading on here that someone used aloe and it worked? What kind of aloe, and where can you get it?

    It depends on the night, and on the club. Most nights, at least at my home club, I can just grab the guy's face, stare him down and tell him that if he licks me one more time I'll crush his balls. Sometimes they like that, and end up not only behaving but getting another dance. Occasionally they act like I didn't say anything and go right on licking, in which case I make good on my threat and stomp on their balls until they whimper, and laugh as they waddle out of the LD area a little hunched over and bowlegged.

    But on some nights, I just don't want to have to say "no licking" five million times. Sometimes I'd prefer to have a bitter, disgusting taste do the talking for me.

    So since bitter apple doesn't work on me, I want suggestions on what else might!
    Talk to me about this aloe idea; it sounds promising.

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Earwax (no kidding.)

    Habanero pepper juice, it might burn senstive skin though.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Littlelo's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    What about that stuff you're supposed to put on nails to stop nailbiting? Or maybe a "No Licking" sticker. lol

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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Deodorant. Very lightly. The spray kind. Another girl at my work uses something else, but I can't remember what it is.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    Earwax (no kidding.)
    Ewww earwax..that would definately make a guy mad. I will try spray on deodorant next time. Smells good, but tastes aweful.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    The bitter apple stuff didn't work? Aw, craps now I'll have to find something else. I know the Secret spray deodorant keeps my dog from chewing on stuff so maybe I'll give that a try.

  7. #7
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Maaan....I've tried it all and the guys are always like "Oh I don't care!!" So I always have to tell them to stop. Some guys are just so gross and desperate they don't care what a gorgeous woman's skin tastes like.

  8. #8
    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    I either spray my good perfume on my skin or hairspray. It's always worked well for me.

  9. #9
    StrayStripper
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Pure aloe vera tastes like nasty douche water. The liquid kind you get at health food stores dries without residue. I recommend Aubrey Organics Aloe Vera. You'd need to apply every hour or so. It's great for the skin too!



    After some slobbering perv licks you, say "Thanks for cleaning me up. I have cum all over my chest from the last guy." Aloe is very bitter. He might run to the bathroom and vomit.

  10. #10
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    ^^ yes! that's what I was thinking of (the aloe). So could I find that at Whole Foods or what?

    I would totally try earwax, but one thing puzzles me: how on earth could you even get enough to put on? LOL. I'm pretty sure I don't have enough wax in my ears to spread all over my tits and neck.

    Ugh, the neck is the worst, I think. It's such a sexy move when I'm facing away from the guy and I slowly lean back and touch his face....oh but then half of them completely ruin it by licking my neck when i've got it exposed and tilted back.

  11. #11
    StrayStripper
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    ^^ yes! that's what I was thinking of (the aloe). So could I find that at Whole Foods or what?

    I would totally try earwax, but one thing puzzles me: how on earth could you even get enough to put on? LOL. I'm pretty sure I don't have enough wax in my ears to spread all over my tits and neck.

    Ugh, the neck is the worst, I think. It's such a sexy move when I'm facing away from the guy and I slowly lean back and touch his face....oh but then half of them completely ruin it by licking my neck when i've got it exposed and tilted back.
    Whole Foods or Trader Joe's should have it in stock.

    I would try dog poo, but I think that might be going too far.

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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelo View Post
    What about that stuff you're supposed to put on nails to stop nailbiting? Or maybe a "No Licking" sticker. lol
    OH! If you have a bf, don't do this!! It DOESN'T COME OFF FOR A WEEK - regardless of scrubbing! Tried it once, it worked quite well, but it wouldn't come off, and my bf was quite displeased!

  13. #13
    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    I need to try something to not only get guys to stop slobbering all over me like a hungry dog, but also find a way to get them to realize I'm not a finger puppet!

    If they ain't trying to lick me, they're trying to touch my kitty! Some guys respect the boundries, other just get hurt trying to cross them!

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    also, try clear nailpolish

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Quote Originally Posted by StrayStripper View Post
    Pure aloe vera tastes like nasty douche water.
    1. How do you know the taste of aloe vera?
    2. How do you know the taste of nasty douche?


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    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Removed
    Last edited by Poco; 05-16-2007 at 06:14 AM.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Hmm maybe nail polish remover? I know it would probably stink at first, so maybe apply it before heading to work?







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  18. #18
    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Hairspray. Smells great, tastes like evil.

  19. #19
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    ^ I'm of the hairspray group. And the Big Sexy Hair spray smells wonderful and tastes SO bad!

    I've also told many a guy after he slobbers on my neck... "Don't you ever wonder if you're the first guy tonight to do that? Kinda gross, don't you think?"

    Which usually ruins the dance, and no repeats afterwards..but eh...oh well!

    One girl on here, I cannot remember who posted it, but she said a guy licked her, so she licked her hand and smeared it on the guys cheek. Hehehe. I want to do that so badly some nights.




  20. #20
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Just break their fucking fingers. Or at least threaten to.

    Zero tolerance. Seriously. They know full and damn well they're not supposed to do it, so don't let them.

  21. #21
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    That's hard Yek....some clubs are so lax about those things. It's difficult to tell my custy, no you're not allowed to lick my neck....when the girl sitting next to us is letting a guy lick below her neck....

    Again, it all comes back to what's happening in clubs lately. My mom bought a shock collar for her little dog a while ago, and decided it wasn't humane (duh) and so I took it. I'm thinking I may make guys wear it while I give them a dance. They get out of line, they get a little ZING! Hehehe...that thought makes me smile.




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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Wouldn't that be a great way to control them all? Walk in the club, pay the doorman, put on your shock collar, then have a seat.......

  23. #23
    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Quote Originally Posted by kylie3183 View Post
    Wouldn't that be a great way to control them all? Walk in the club, pay the doorman, put on your shock collar, then have a seat.......
    Can the collar shock them for not spending, too?

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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    Of course!

  25. #25
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: alternatives to Bitter Apple?

    The great thing about it is it's remote controlled! Hehehe, I see so many advantages to this!




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