Results 1 to 21 of 21

Thread: i give up

  1. #1
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default i give up

    (seriously, no one has to read this. i just need to vent. )

    i can't live on my own right now. i've been at my parents house for the past few nights, and my cat is there now because i dont want to take him back and forth. i'm at my apartment because i have finals tomorrow and friday, and if i drive here in the morning it'll take hours in traffic. but i just had a panic attack and i don't know why.. all of a sudden i started crying my eyes out and then i couldn't breathe and i miss my cat and i want to go home and i think i'm going to get sick. out of nowhere. one second i was fine and the next i was freaking out.

    i cant sleep and i NEED to because i cant get any work done right now and i have to wake up early to make a note sheet for my final (thank god we can use a cheat sheet or i would fail).

    i dont WANT to be at home because i fight with my brother and my cat doesnt like my dogs (the dogs live with my mom.. theyre getting better, they just need to get used to each other i know but still). i want to be able to be on my own and i dont know why i cant.. ive posted about this before but i just dont get why i cant be on my own like a normal 21 year old. and i dont understand why im flipping out right now.. ahh.. sorry, i just needed to get that out. if anybody has ANY suggestions, please let me know because i'm ready to move home even though i know i'll be miserable anyway.. i just cant keep dealing with these anxiety attacks.

  2. #2
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: i give up

    21 is still young. I don't even remember being that age & it was only 7 years ago. The average Twentysomething Person has an anxiety-inducing LIFE.

    Don't beat yourself up. Get some room mates (once you solve this issue with your apartment) & it won't be as hard.

  3. #3
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    the worst thing is i had a GREAT day. i dont know whats wrong with me

  4. #4
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    2,998
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 64 Times in 43 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: i give up

    Panic attacks can be a treatable medical condition for which there is no reason to be ashamed. Have you had a physical lately?

  5. #5
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    21 is still young. I don't even remember being that age & it was only 7 years ago. The average Twentysomething Person has an anxiety-inducing LIFE.
    Is this what I have to go through to be as smart as you? My god it seems likes my 20's are an extension of my teens and I hope my 30's extend into my 40's it seems like. If these are what 20sometings are like then when am I 30?

    Brit I dont know much about panic attacks but my best advice is to take things very slowly and concentrate on one thing at a time until life starts to go smooth again. Like right now its school then home etc.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  6. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,170
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    Panic attacks can be a treatable medical condition for which there is no reason to be ashamed. Have you had a physical lately?

    Exactly. There are tons of threads on here that talk about panic attacks and anxiety, and MANY of the girls here suffer from them as well as millions of other people. I would definitely recommend going to see a Doctor and telling him your symptoms. I've been suffering from panic attacks for about 2 years now, and I take medication for them. NOTHING to be ashamed of, sweetie.



  7. #7
    Veteran Member blayze's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Location
    wichititty city
    Posts
    495
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    i completely understand your pain britt, am kinda going through a similar situation (i too am living between my apt at school and my parents house)

    i'm sure that a lot of it has to do with stress, i know all my panic attacks over the past few weeks have been, between school and moving and family drama, etc. it seems there is very little time to actually take care of yourself and assess the situation calmly. the transition to complete independence can be rough, but i'm positive you can do it.

    i dont really have any profound words of advise, but everything does eventually work itself out. which i'm sure you are just as tired of hearing as i am!

    i hope your finals go well, and your move as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlethea View Post
    Screw you, I'm not running a vaginal charity here.
    If God would have meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    http://www.myspace.com/natalielyanh


  8. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    The Diner State
    Posts
    5,085
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    I agree-21 is still young. And not in a bad way. I moved out at 19 and I remember staying home crying because it was all a little overwhelming. It's hard to make the jump from home to your own home. Panic's not the end of the world, even though it feels like it. It's your body treating modern stress like a sabre-tooth tiger attack, except these days we don't need to run from tigers (generally). Sometimes it's best to just let it happen-cry, lie down, get a cup of water if you can. If you fight it and try to justify why it makes it worse-it's a fear/stress reaction and it doesn't make sense half the time. It's hard but if you can let the need to stop the panic from happening pass, you're halfway there. I hope that makes sense.

    I've had panic for 15 years now and it has good times and bad. Meds can help. Rescue Remedy or Calms Forte(from the health food store) can help. Pema Chodron books help, if you are interested in Buddhism. Bookstores have a ton of books on panic and stress. The internet has a ton of info as well. Hope you are doing better soon.

    Rose Leigh

  9. #9
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Dear God plz send money to Oregon K luv you bye
    Posts
    2,238
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    I don't know if you've thought about this before, but a roommate might be a great solution for you. I would be freaking out all the time if I lived alone! It would be scary. Humans are social animals. It might be a good medium between the confines of living with your parents and the scariness of living at home.

    You can screen the girls to make sure you get one who's quiet and studious (if you like a lot of alone time) and to make sure she's a tidy and polite person. Even if you two don't become friends, it might really help you.

  10. #10
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    i woke up today and don't feel any better. i think i'll head home tonight and just drive back here in the morning. i didn't get any sleep, anyway.

    i don't want a roommate because i've had bad experiences before. that's why i don't get what's going on.. i used to love living alone and now i'm going crazy.

  11. #11
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    Well, Britt, how bad is it to stay with your parents for a while? My lil sis is sort of in the same boat, and she's a couple of years older than you. My advice to her was, "You need to finish school, you need to save money and you need to be happy, so if living with mom does those things for you, then do it."

    21 is VERY young Britt. And if you are going through something in life that requires you to have some emotional and family support, then by all means get it!

    After reading many of your posts, it seems to me that you really may want to look into treatment for anxiety, and it may even be a safer and saner choice for you to have a freind live with you or stay with your folks.

    I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.




  12. #12
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    ^^I agree with the anxiety thing. Stress can bring on anxiety problems all on its own.

    Don't be so hard on yourself, Britt. Acknowledge that you need some people around you right now, and go with the flow of your emotional needs, don't fight them. Living alone doesn't mean being lonely, but we all need some support of our loved ones from time to time. Having people around that you care about will alleviate the stress that you are feeling.

    The reason why we stress less when we get older is that we just go with the flow and stop denying ourselves what we need. There is no "normal". There is just you and your very personalized needs. If you need social support right now, than allow yourself that.

    Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  13. #13
    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Dear FSM plz send money to Oregon K luv you bye
    Posts
    1,491
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    I know how you feel! I can't tolerate roommates, but at the same time, having someone else around REALLY helps keep my anxiety in check. I love living on my own though.

    medication may help with teh anxiety, like everyone else said... as for tricks to help you feel better, or at least get you past the crying jags and panic attacks.... here's a few of mine...


    When you start crying, sing the ABC's. Its stupid, but I've only met ONE person who didn't immediately start laughing past the tears. At least it makes sure you're getting a good breathe, and sometimes the laugh makes it easier to move past the tears.. Just sing it over and over until you're laughing, feeling like a kid, and a little bit able to work on your breathe.

    THat brings me to point two. the breathing! Your panic attacks sound a bit like mine, with the difficulty breathing. A lot of times though, if you can get deep breathes, it helps past it. When you start crying, start counting your breathes. Count inhale to seven, hold for seven, exhale for seven. Sometimes its hard to do this while crying, but just keep at it over and over till your breath actually IS that deep adn even. This helps me get my controls back...

    Also, consider what might be triggering the panic attack. do they usually happen around a certain time of day?(IE nighttime, feeling insecure about being alone, and unsafe) Do they happen in a certain situation?(IE doing something REALLY mature that your parents used to do) Are they a result of someone else commenting, or asking you how you're doing on your own? Sometimes it seems random, but you can usually find underlying feelings that cause the attack, and it makes it easier to plan to either have someone there for comfort, or change those feelings and patterns.

    Mine is the security one. I don't usually feel safe, so I've planned out WHICH spot in my apartment is the best to hide from an intruder in, how someone would come in, etc. during my respective attacks. Having the "backup plan" helps me a LOT when i start panicking, I can say, breathe seven, walk to the bathroom, shut the door, and know that you're SAFE until you choose to leave.

    Maybe look into CAREFULLY screenign for a roommate? I know you've had bad experiences, but if you seriously check into them closely, not just the college dorm computer matchmaking system type of checking, you may get a good one who will help you build stability as you adjust! But don't commit yourself to getting a roommate until you've actually met someone who its possible... Even if you interview roomies, its still YOUR CHOICE in the end.

    Thats the thing to remember in all this...You have choices, and YOU have control.

    This is some of what helps me anyways.. I hope it helps you... if you have questions, or want someone to rant at, or anything... just message me!

  14. #14
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    thank you guys so much. it seriously helps to read this, i guess i just need another perspective on things. hearing you guys say that i am still young and there isnt "normal" when it comes to these things helps a lot. i get along with my parents very well, but i dont think they want me to come home and my mom keeps pushing me to look at apartments. they kind of make me feel like it's weird that i want to go home.

    i agree that i should go to a doctor about my anxiety. its been getting worse, and i just keep putting it off because i want things to get better on their own. i know that probably wont happen and i know that my stress is just going to increase next semester with school, so things will probably get worse before they get better if i don't do something about it.

    about finding what triggers my anxiety attacks.. it's hard to pin down one thing. sometimes it's school, sometimes it's money (not lately, but when i was at my last club i was doing really badly), sometimes it's being alone/being scared of my apartment. they're at night 9 times out of 10, but this morning i woke up and was on the verge of having another one, and i've felt like there's one under the surface all afternoon. i had a great day yesterday, too, so i shouldn't be unhappy. i had the best day i've ever had, money wise, and managed to keep my drinking under control (i've had some problems with that lately) and i was back at the best club i've ever worked at. i should be happy but something feels off and i don't know what it is.

    again, i appreciate all the responses. i didnt want it to seem like i was just whining about my apt/stress issues again, because i've been talking about them a lot and i really dont mean to whine!

  15. #15
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    Hey, from what I understand, anxiety and panic attacks have nothing to do with wether or not your are happy. Try to understand that you don't need to beat yourself up. You need to help yourself.

    Also, do you parents know what you are experiencing right now, the severity of it? Have you told them in as much detail as you've told us how you've been feeling and about the attacks? Not to tell you waht to do, but someone close to you should know what you are going through.

    Yes, Britt, you are normal in your abnormalities. We've all got 'em.

    Seriously though, have a big talk with your folks if you haven't allready, get to a doctor, you will feel so much better!
    And didn't I read somewhere, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result...make the change sweety. You'll be glad you did down the road.




  16. #16
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    ^^ my parents know some of it. i've called my mom crying before telling her i need to come home for a while (but when i feel better the next day i dont go) and she knows i've had a few panic attacks. she knew i went to a therapist before, and i've posted about how much worse this guy made things. she suggested her best friend's therapist instead, but she doesnt push it. i think my parents try to deny things.. when i was barely eating in 11th grade, my parents didnt really do anything. when ive done other stupid things in regards to my health, they know and acknowledge it but dont do anything. i think part of it is that they feel like what CAN they do. i had a good childhood, i appear to be happy most of the time.. but my parents dont (at least to me) acknowledge the fact that things have changed a lot lately. i kind of also don't want them to, because i'm afraid it will lead to them being overprotective and stuff.

    (another problem with going home is that they dont know i dance. they think i bartend.)

  17. #17
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    Again, I'm no one to tell you what to do, but if it were me, I'd want someone to point out that my health and sanity are a little more important than ticking off my parents for a bit.

    But if you are truly not comfortable with relying on them, is there someone you are comfortable with? Anyone?

    (side note) Being a little over protective and stuff may not be a bad thing for a young woman who is having serious problems. Just a thought.




  18. #18
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    ^oh i appreciate all your advice! i DO need to hear this stuff. i just feel like if they find out i'm dancing things will get much much worse.

  19. #19
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    K, I'm going to share some stuff with you, that hopefully will help you out.

    When I was in my early 20's (I'm early 30's now) I screwed up A LOT. I did many things I knew I shouldn't, lied to people I cared about, abused my body and basically didn't care about it.

    I lied to my mom the most. Because I always thught she was too over protective, too over bearing, meddled in my affairs too much, and basically, I didn't want to hear he say I should stop what I was doing, or change things. I knew it, but I didn't want to hear it.

    Time went on, by my middle 20's I had gotten myself into a pretty bad sitaution and I still hadn't confided in my mom. She knew though. She knew I was in trouble, and I always thought she had this "oh well, it'll work out" attitude...because she stopped trying to do anything about it. That wasn't the case at all.

    One day I woke up. I realized I was in deap sh*t and had better get some help. I went to my mom. I wont lie to you and say it was all roses and happiness. It sucked, she was pissed and hurt and also happy that I was going to be okay. I had to change a lot of things that I wasn't happy about changing, but I can truthfully, no BS, say that looking back now, I'm glad I did.

    Britt, if you want help, it's going to be hard at first. That's why they always say, no one can help you, but yourself. Because it all boils down to when you are ready to say "I have to change something."

    I wont harp on you anymore about the parents, But don't be too stubborn. The problems you have talked about here aren't little, they are rather serious and can get worse if not addressed. And you're so young Britt.

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you.




  20. #20
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    thank you, thank you, thank you.

    im heading home tomorrow after class, and i'm going to see how things go for a while. i'm overstressed because i had a really heavy school load this semester. i need to decompress before i think about meds or anything. and then i'll check out a new therapist. even if just for someone to talk to.

    it's just scary to think about what will come out of telling my parents all this stuff. i've gone through some bad times, and i came out of one 2 years ago and i was genuinely HAPPY. but it took something really bad happening for me to push past it and get to the happy part. i started to get unhappy again, so i changed some things, thinking it would fix it, and it didnt. i think part of my problem now is i expected things to get better after i changed jobs and changed my major, and when they didnt, it was disappointing and i felt helpless.

    either way, i'm going to figure this out. i wont be posting as much once i go home because i dont need my parents getting online one day and going "stripperweb..?! stripper.. BRITT!" that would not help my problems at all, haha. but i'll update when i can and hopefully be bringing good news of me making some changes when i do.

  21. #21
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: i give up

    *GREAT BIG HUG*

    Good luck to you sweety, I really hope everything clears up for you, I'm thinking it will.




Similar Threads

  1. How much would you give?
    By Callyish in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 03-10-2008, 12:47 PM
  2. to give your # out or not?
    By littletassle in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 02-02-2006, 12:28 AM
  3. to give or not to give
    By mollyzmoon in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 01-17-2006, 06:17 PM
  4. What did you give?
    By dlabtot in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 12-26-2005, 11:03 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •