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Thread: What Would You Do?

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    Default What Would You Do?

    cut a long story short, my partner left for philippines today and I told him to call me as soon as he arrived which he said he would do!

    He was upset when he left and was sobbing over the phone (so cute - i love is when he does this) any way, tonight at 11pm I sms'd his sister and said 'have you heard from ___ yet' she replied, yeah she called dad and _______ before! I asked do you have his number? she sent back 2 numbers for me to call...

    I have the number of where he is staying but I have this thing in me to not call him, rather wait and see how long it takes for him to call me... I know deep down there are one of 2 reasons why he wouldn't have called yet, and they are

    1. He doesn't want to call and sob over the phone about the fact his away from me

    2. His mum isn't allowing him to call me (ongoing in-law problems as she doesn't like that I am a dancer and that it is bad - she said she doesn't want him with me, yet he still stays with me despite what she says)

    I just am so confused about what to do! Do I call him? Do I wait and see how long it is until he calls me?

    We do live together and we have a very stable relationship, I just dont know why he called his brother and dad and not me

    Maybe I am being too sensitive and blowing this out of proportion!

    Please Help!!

  2. #2
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    How long has it been sinse he's been there? I would wait for a bit and if he doesn't call in a day then call, at times when you go you get kinda bombarded with things to do and might forget to call people, I know it happens when I go to PR. Once I get there I hav eit mind must call and then one thing after the other happens and I forget and when I remembre I'm like "D'oh!"

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    ^ my man KNOWS not to make me wait a day to hear from him... we are an international couple.

    i smell foul play.

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    ok! This is playing on my mind really really bad!! I want to call, but the other part of me doesn't!

    I have faith in him, yet not his mum! I would hate to think his mum is saying DONT CALL HER and he is staying @ his mum's sisters house, so that could be the case!

    I can live with the fact she doesn't like me, she got a go get fu%ked from me! lol! I am not going to let a MIL stand in the way of my relatoinship!

    He has been there for 10 hours now! i have found it hard that he had the time to call his dad then his brother (he never calls his brother)

    I am upset and dissapointed! I am now crying!!

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    Call Him Then.

  6. #6
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    aww honey I hope everything is ok, I'm sorry you go through this

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    update!

    I got my brother to call and was told his out at a night club, call in one hour

    So fucking great I feel! His out clubbing and shit and doesn't even call me to tell me his ok

    Fucking GAHHHHHH

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    ^ my man and i had this problem. i felt like he was starting to lose interest because he'd go out and not call me.

    i told him how it was going to go while he was away from me... and if he didn't want to check in with me at least 1x a day, then he didn't deserve to be with me.

    when i'm away from him, i call him ALOT... just to say i love you.

    things are ALOT better now... but i know what you mean and how you feel hun.

    be a little more aggressive about how you feel, and tell him what you think about him going out without calling you.

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    Thanks honey! You have made me feel more 'normal'

    I have to be up in only a few hours to head out to the V8's but I will wait up and even if I do have to be 'aggressive' I will do my best!

    Ask the girls on here who know me, I can't 'yell or be angry' at any one, not even for a minute!

    sob sob sob!

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    Hmm.. ALee yelling.... don't see it happening anytime soon!

    I also say call him. He may have just forgotten as well as the fact that his mother may have been 'watching' him as in who he called etc. He probably is also out at the nightclub just to get away from his family - nothing against you.

    In the end, call him if he doesn't call you. Tell him that you need to establish some 'rules' as such for the both of you to follow... ie Corgan's once a day suggestion even if it is just a text message or message left on voicemail...... or even email?


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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    I think most girls will understand how you feel. Its so hard to sit around waiting and obsessing about some dude freakin calling you back. So whatever happens, just realize that you're not alone.

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    I'd wait to see how long it took him to call. But thats just me and it's coz I would use it against him - yeh im a scorpio vindictive bitch LOL.

    But if its really bothering u so much honey call. He is your man u dont need an excuse to call.

    I think he should have called u as soon as he arrived to let u know he got there ok anyway.

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    I spoke to him a few times today and his mum and auntie were witting next to the phone

    I first called him said, thanks for calling spoke for like 2 minutes then hung up after telling him that I wasn't happy that he hadn't done what he said he would

    I called him back like 2 hours later and he was saying that he didn't know my number or how to dial out of philippines so I was like yeah? your aunt and mum dial out all the time and you never asked them once :S

    His mum said let me talk to her and she said _____ is being good and that there is no need to woryy.... and that does make me worry as his mum never normally wants to talk to me - EVER

    I dont know whether I am blowing this out of proportion, but I had a bad experience with an ex who went over seas and I think it is a case of once bitten twice shy!

    I will keep updating here and when he gets back I will get him to read this, then he will understand exactly how I felt

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    It does sound a little strange but it sounds like u both have a solid relationship so I vote for mother in law bullshit. Guys mothers can be truly evil so maybe she has something to do with it.

    Just try to keep yourself busy while he is gone so it doesnt play on your mind too much.

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    thanks babe!

    I am keeping myself busy on the neopets site thanks to someones posts just before Neopets is sooo addictive!

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    Yeah hun he's jsut in a new place getting settled in. Sounds normal 2 me but yes he should've at least let you know he arrived there safe.

    Don't stres, it sounds like it's all good.

    Yeah def don't do what I did by freaking out b/c my man didn't call me for a ew hours!

    It's all gonna work out sweetheart, no worries, he sounds like a good man and is just getting acclimated to new surroundings and spending time in familiar places and having a little harmless fun 2nite. You know how it is when you travel and get in groove with the new place after arriving. He didn't forget about you!

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    I admit, when I travel, I usually forget to call home and ppl always have to call me.

    when he travels is he usually good about calling? Things tip off red flags in my mind if they don't fit an established pattern that I've seen. If he's not good about calling in general, then i would be less worried- but if he is good about calling, something is going on- whether he just feel uncomfortable since he's with him mum, or whatever the case may be.

    If he's acting strange on the phone when you call- then I would def. keep that in mind and talk to him about it.

    traveling can screw up people, I get exhausted easily and when i'm traveling, I'm always pushing my physical capacity, so I'm not myself at all.

  18. #18
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    Hes in the Philipines, lol - man my aunt is Filipina and when she goes home she doesnt stop talking with all of the friends and family shes catching up with for long enough to call anyone!!! Dont worry about it, Im sure its nothing major, he probably just hasnt had a moment to call properly. The reason that he would have spoken to his sister is probably because she is family too and a zillion reletives would have been in on it. I doubt he will be left alone for his whole trip if my aunts trips home are anything to go by.
    And if his mum is there well it could be very awkward for him to say the least.
    Relax (-:

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    I have to agree with AussiePunkShocker here!

    The Empress returns to Korea on occasion. If I had not laid down the law over many years I know I'd never get a call. Even just a call to let us know they are all safe and sound. I also know it is hard to get a word in edgewise that first day, the whole immediate family will pop over, talk, food, and no sleep for you!

    Given the family situation and what I have seen the Empress do.... it is not entirely unexpected.
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    thanks again everyone

    I spoke to him once again tonight (I have to keep in touch with him often as I have my car for sale + I am considering trading it for a boat, and he knows how much of a decision it is for me )

    He has celled his dad and sisters heaps and not called me once! I have spent over $100 in calls already and I feel that he CBF'd calling me!

    He is becoming full of excuses and I am just soo worried that history will repeat (My ex was chinese and when he went back to singapore his mum got him a bride and said marry her or you will not get the family inheritance - so I feel all fucked up)

    I'm just stressing out as in the last 1 2/3 years we have never been apart for more then 12 hours and still then he will call me like 20 times!

    I really dont know what to do! He finally got a phone but 'doesn't know the number' so I feel I am fighting a lost cause!

    I wish it wasn't midnight or I would of gone to the movies or something! I am even considering a few nights in a club to boost my confidence and not be so lonely/self destructive and bored!!

  21. #21
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    Quote Originally Posted by ALee View Post
    I spoke to him a few times today and his mum and auntie were witting next to the phone
    [...]
    His mum said let me talk to her and she said _____ is being good and that there is no need to woryy.... and that does make me worry as his mum never normally wants to talk to me - EVER
    the first part is really wacky. sounds like he's in enemy territory and a POW. i'd wait until he comes home and can explain himself without the threat of emotional torture from his family (mom).

    the last part really reinforces that imo. my first ex-wife was filipino and i saw tons of implied threats and "fronting" (not to say it's only with filipinos, just saying i've seen similar). the fact that she never speaks to you usually and in this instance is talking to you directly, imo she is definitely laying down the law to you. i.e. "he's perfectly fine here with me, his mommy, so stop bothering my baby you hussy, etc."

    ah, this brings back memories.

    the phone thing is weird though. but let him explain himself when he's home rather than grief him over the phone. i can only imagine what his mom and crew are feeding him about you. if she's worth her salt as a mother, she'll be using your calls and pressure to her advantage.

    i'm not saying to let him off the hook later but wait until you hear his side and you're on your home-turf with him. right now, you're conducting this via phone on his mother's turf. good luck and hth!

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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    Quote Originally Posted by ALee View Post
    He is becoming full of excuses and I am just soo worried that history will repeat (My ex was chinese and when he went back to singapore his mum got him a bride and said marry her or you will not get the family inheritance - so I feel all fucked up)
    you're better off without someone that will choose money over being with you. totally.

  23. #23
    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    and may i add, my man is half philipino, and his mommy is full phillipina... those are some headstrong women i tell you.

    i'm glad she likes me... or it would be really hard. REALLY hard.

  24. #24
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    wait. your partner is os and claims to not know your number?

    im confused, a few weeks back you said you guys broke up, then got back together, now your saying you have a solid relationship, yet he goes to phillippeans without you, and doesnt call....


  25. #25
    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: What Would You Do?

    ^ see now, i didn't know that.

    wow... i don't mean to be the party pooper... but me thinks that your relationship is in TROUBLE.

    especially because he went to a nightclub without checking in on you...

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