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Thread: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

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    Member Sayan's Avatar
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    Default Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    I've been dancing for years now and every now and then I feel like the dancing world is the only place I belong...and I know it's untrue because I have a life besides dancing...I have a job that I love, I have a social life, friends, hobbies...but while doing all these things, I always feel like a fraud, like it's not really me...I feel like my real life and job is dancing and that's all I should be focusing on ! And I refuse to think that way because I don't even enjoy dancing anymore since the mileage has gone so high, it's hard to deal with and to me the dancing world is a dark and mostly negative (too much drama and shit going on ) the main highlight of this job is making money and sometimes having fun with the other dancers when they are not bitchy or jealous ! So ...why am I thinking it's the only place I belong ? I don't even like it ! And on top of that I just realized not so long ago that it might be the reason why I refuse to have a boyfriend...I seriously don't give a shit about men...when they approach me out the stripclub ( in the so called real world !) I don't even give them the time of day...I feel like like I need my space because I deal with them 3 nights a week ! I wasn't always like this but since 2 years that's how I've been feeling...Any of you feel the same way sometimes ?...I think I need counseling !

    love and xxx

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Nope, dancing is simply a chapter in my life, that as of now has not closed. I have so much more work to do while I am on this earth. To think that dancing was the only place I belong is definately out of the question.







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    Senior Member burnedrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Not me - I like it, it's fun, but like Cinnamon said, it's just a chapter in my life that has yet to be closed. It doesnt define my personality or who I am. its just the job I have and how I make my money. Underneath it all, I am still laura. I'm not Leona, my stripper persona. I am just plain ol' Laura, still as hyper and giddy as ever.
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    What about your relationship with men...are they normal are do you feel like you need your space ? I mean everyone needs their space while being in a relationship or not, regardless of the job they do but you know what I mean...with dancing it's different especially if you have to deal with contact ...I think I need to stop dancing contact it just fucks up my spirit...I envy you girls for not feeling taken over by dancing...I used to feel the way you feel before and now I can't get rid of this weird feeling of being inslaved to dancing. AAAAH ! Maybe I just need a nice vacation !

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    Senior Member hustlebunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    sounds to me like you may need break. Sometimes, i can't wait to get to work so i don't have to think about all that i have going on in my life. Don't get me wrong I LOV my life but my work persona is a spoiled little chick who gets whatever she wants. In life i am fircely independent and goal driven...

    Dancing sometimes is a mental vaca from my real life, so to speak. There is sometimes a comfort in that for me( iguess that feeling of i belong, a dancer among dancers).

    Yet, when i'm focused on the parts of dancing i don't like i feel much like you mentioned in the first post. However, in general, more and more Me is ME and she is SHE(work persona).

    As far as men, i have no issue. We get a group of me that may be bored with home life, going thru divorce, have the wrong idea about what strippers do or showing off with friends(testosterone fest, ahhhh!!!).

    But we also get really good guys that just truly love the fantasty adult amusement park trip that is strip clubs and get it. So, i don't let them define men in general...Take a break girly, go have some fun...go back to work refreshed and excited to be that sexy chick again.
    "Whether YOU think you can or YOU think you can't you're right!" -Henry Ford

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    Member Sayan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Yeah, thanks Hustlebunny I definitely need a vaca...!

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    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    I totally relate to how you feel. I don't feel like dancing takes over my life, but I definately feel like a fish out of water in certain situations. I feel most in my element in some type of night life/laid back atmosphere, and this probably stems from being in one constantly.

    If this doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll explain further:

    From my personal experiences; how I was raised, where I come from, even friends' opinions: you are completely trash and looked down upon if you dance. I hide it from all of my family and in doing so, has cause me to isolate myself due to feelings of guilt and shame. Constantly lying, or having some sort of taboo job may cause you to gravitate towards the enviornment in which you are (or feel) most accepted, no matter how you act or what you do. Hence the feeling you "belong" in the club, when you really do not, you just belong somewhere where you are not judged.

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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    I have a love/hate relationship with dancing!

    But I don't think I'll quit entirely until I am far past my prime. It seems to be in my blood:p

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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    [quote=Kalligirl

    If this doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll explain further:

    From my personal experiences; how I was raised, where I come from, even friends' opinions: you are completely trash and looked down upon if you dance. I hide it from all of my family and in doing so, has cause me to isolate myself due to feelings of guilt and shame. Constantly lying, or having some sort of taboo job may cause you to gravitate towards the enviornment in which you are (or feel) most accepted, no matter how you act or what you do. Hence the feeling you "belong" in the club, when you really do not, you just belong somewhere where you are not judged.[/quote]


    I think this is very accurate and it's pretty much why I feel the way I feel besides needing a break...eventhough now my close friends and parents know I dance because lying to them and making up stories was just to draining for me...but they don't know I dance contact...they think I dance no contact...the shame of them knowing I dance contact would be unbearable to me...I wish I could stop dancing contact but I dance in Montreal and out here forget about making serious money if you don't dance contact...with all the shit I have to pay, I have to stick with contact while dancing in Montreal

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    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Lying is draining! Argh! I just know they are better off oblivious (or in denial). However, the reason I continue dancing is I likemy job. It has its difficulties like any other, but I find that more people (even dancers) have a problem with me feeling comfortable with my job. What I experience is people feeling uncomfortable with my job, and that what makes me uncomfortable about it. (does that make sense?)

    Maybe the contact has something more to do with you, than them. I remember a post you wrote talking about this. I have no clue how Montreal is, but if you are having an issue with contact it could be cause its violating your boundaries or you are too sensitive. From what I heard, from Americans in a very wild club I was working at (for U.S. standards) is that Canada is pretty wild. If you could affford to work outside Montreal I would try it. And don't feel bad, its our life, ya know.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    I totally felt that way when I was going to school and working and doing all these things that required me to keep this facade of social acceptability. Then I would get to the strip club and be able to relax.



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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    i feel the same way. i start school tomorrow and last friday i went for the orientation, i felt so out of place. i'm going to school to get a degree so i can eventually get out of the strip clubs, but everybody else was there was to get a degree so they could get a better paying job. for now they're all working minimum wage jobs. i felt so out of place.

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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Occasionally in situations where I feel I am surrounded by "straight" people and have to fit in. My day job is like this a lot of times. My business partner and I were comparing experiences the other day -- she is a lesbian and totally open and out in most situations. At the same time, we have to go into situations all the time where we are dealing with people who would have a problem with her if they knew that...or at least would insist on having an awkward conversation about it. We are in Texas, after all. Being a dancer is somewhat similar for me -- I am comfortable with it, but I don't feel like having to explain myself to people all the time, so I only talk about it with my friends.

    Being at work can be a relief sometimes, cause I'm with people who know me only as a dancer, so I don't have to hide that part of myself. (Although I do have to hide other parts of myself, like my real name and real profession, marital status, and so on.)

    Sometimes it's weird feeling like a freak in a world of straight people. It helps to remind yourself that most straight people are not really all that straight, either. How many church-going, law-abiding, buttoned-down head of family have begged you to twist their nipples and kick them in their crotches. The magic of strip clubs, for many customers, is being in a place where their kinks will be largely tolerated. Freaks are everywhere. Don't let those closeted bitches in the "real world" fool you into thinking you don't belong.

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    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Freaks are everywhere. Don't let those closeted bitches in the "real world" fool you into thinking you don't belong.
    right on

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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    I know what you mean. I feel like .... I can be myself more around my dancer friends, or around people who bartend or are in the arts... people who are very open, free with their bodies, and non judgemental. I don't like having to act prissy and I get paranoid that "straight" people can tell that I'm a stripper. I have more fun around my stripper or bartender friends, I have to say.
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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    ^^^^^^^^^I have to admit I love the freedom of being able to say and do nearly anything I want in that atmosphere. I love it! It's so superior to having to keep everything under wraps. I feel more comfortable in "alternative lifestyle" places than anywhere else because the power is in the hands of people who keep it real--not the ones who suppress and lie the best!

    It's funny, I've been home, off the road for a week and I feel so weird and cranky. I don't want to be fake for my middle class family and corporate Mom. It annoys me not to curse at home or talk about anything without fear of judgement and rejetion. It just makes me want to get back on a plane!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    OMG Optimist...I feel like that all the time ! ... Sometimes I just feel like I should go on national Tv and tell the whole world I am a stripper, that I dance contact and that no I don't do extras and that if they think I am whore well...so is their mama !... And get on with my life without having to "act"...I am sick of being an actress in a lame show called " I am trying to fit in"

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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Ha haaa! That's the funniest thing--that we're trying to fit into a club we don't even like!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    I totally felt that way when I was going to school and working and doing all these things that required me to keep this facade of social acceptability. Then I would get to the strip club and be able to relax.

    Exactly, Lena! Once you walk into that club, "Everything is Understood." I love that!



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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    I don't feel that way ever. I do feel like some dancers "get" me more, but sometimes I listen to other girls conversations or see the way they act, and I'm like, wtf am I doing here?? In the end, dancing is only a small part of me, it does not make me who I am. That said, I'll never be a 9-5'er or follow the "normal" routine that the world expects you to.

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    Default Re: Ever feel like you only really belong in the dancing world

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    I totally felt that way when I was going to school and working and doing all these things that required me to keep this facade of social acceptability. Then I would get to the strip club and be able to relax.
    I feel that way. Like I look around and think "wow you would all be so shocked and disgusted if you knew how I spent my nights. I don't know that I feel like I "only belong" in the dancing world though.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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