I've been dancing for years now and every now and then I feel like the dancing world is the only place I belong...and I know it's untrue because I have a life besides dancing...I have a job that I love, I have a social life, friends, hobbies...but while doing all these things, I always feel like a fraud, like it's not really me...I feel like my real life and job is dancing and that's all I should be focusing on ! And I refuse to think that way because I don't even enjoy dancing anymore since the mileage has gone so high, it's hard to deal with and to me the dancing world is a dark and mostly negative (too much drama and shit going on ) the main highlight of this job is making money and sometimes having fun with the other dancers when they are not bitchy or jealous ! So ...why am I thinking it's the only place I belong ? I don't even like it ! And on top of that I just realized not so long ago that it might be the reason why I refuse to have a boyfriend...I seriously don't give a shit about men...when they approach me out the stripclub ( in the so called real world !) I don't even give them the time of day...I feel like like I need my space because I deal with them 3 nights a week ! I wasn't always like this but since 2 years that's how I've been feeling...Any of you feel the same way sometimes ?...I think I need counseling !
love and xxx



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