About a year ago, I broke things off with my ex. I swore that I'd be free and date around, having nothing but fun. However, I met L. He is the most amazing person ever, and we have tons of fun. I spend pretty much every weekend at his house, where we geek out over video and have crazy sex, sometimes both at once. Things are wonderfully stable and fun. Neither of us have issues. However, I can't get over the fact that I didn't have time to be single and crazy after my last breakup. This especially flares up when this one guy who I kinda have a crush on calls. I love L, and I don't want to blow my wonderful relationship with him. Some people would say that if I really loved L, then I wouldn't be tempted to date other guys. This has nothing to do with my attraction to him, it has everything to do with the fact that I didn't have a chance to be free.
I have recurring dreams that pretty much sum up my feelings. In my dreams, I'll be making out with or even fucking another guy. However, the whole time, I'll be thinking of L. I'll miss him, I'll kind of be comparing the guy to L, and I'll feel guilty. I think that even if I did go out with other guys, I'd spend the whole time thinking about L, which would ruin it.
I'm not the addictive, codependent type, so please don't think that I need a MAY-UNN in my life at all times or that I latch on. I'm also not one to have my cake and eat it too. I would never dream of holding him in reserve just in case things didn't work out with other guys, or tell him that I want to see other people but get crazy jealous if he saw another girl. At first, he wanted space to get over his last relationship, then I wanted space because my ex called and picked some major scabs, but both times, both of us found that we loved each other too much to stay away.
I also don't want to dicktease any other guys around. I'd just want to have fun with them (not use them, just go out on a few dates and make out in their cars). There's also a couple of guys that I kinda have crushes on, and I know that they have crushes on me, but I have a big feeling that I'll want L over them. Basically, it won't go anywhere, and I don't want to lead them on.
About 4 months ago, I told L about my dreams and the interpretations. He said that if I ever wanted to see other people, to just be honest. I made it clear to him that I would never keep him in reserve either, and he said that he was keeping himself in reserve. He's not the spineless type, so it's not like he'd desperately make a doormat of himself and stay with me even if I got pregnant with another guy's baby. However, I can't help but wonder what can of worms would be opened, especially in situations like going to his place after a date with another guy.
I've never really done this "unsteadily dating around" thing. I'm only 22, so the men I've dated have always been young stupid guys who see dating around as slutting around. Any advice on dating around, besides never to have your cake and eat it too?



. Things are wonderfully stable and fun. Neither of us have issues. However, I can't get over the fact that I didn't have time to be single and crazy after my last breakup. This especially flares up when this one guy who I kinda have a crush on calls. I love L, and I don't want to blow my wonderful relationship with him. Some people would say that if I really loved L, then I wouldn't be tempted to date other guys. This has nothing to do with my attraction to him, it has everything to do with the fact that I didn't have a chance to be free.
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