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Thread: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

  1. #1
    Glamazon
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    Default What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    Let's not go into major dysfunctional family issues.

    Myself, I wish my parents had been more involved in school. I wish they would have been president of the PTA, helped organize school functions and class parties. I wish my parents would have been more supportive of my and my sister's extracurricular activities, even the ones that they didn't like, such as cheerleading. It would have been nice to have our mom at pep rallies and at games to see us cheer! I wish my parents had insisted on more quality family time, rather than spending so much time watching TV.

    Anyone else care to share?

  2. #2
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I try to think of the good things my parents done for me particularly since my mother is deceased now.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish she had actually tried to be my friend.

  4. #4
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my mom would have made me go to school more, wouldn't have allowed me to drop out, and wouldn't have let boys spend the night with me when I was 14 years old. I was just LUCKY I didn't get pregnant.

    I also wish she wouldn't have encouraged my little brother to drink and do drugs with her. ( I was smarter, but he was younger and thought it was cool of her.)

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    i wish my mom would have not ridiculed me for being gay in high school... i was so heartbroken from a girl i was in love with, but i couldn't tell my mom the pain i had, so it was ALL bottled up inside.

    i did horrible in school and everything else!!

  6. #6
    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish that my mom had divorced my father sooner than she did....it would have made the later part of my childhood much easier. My parents also forced the religion issue on me (it backfired!). All things considered, though, my mom was a pretty great parent. I'm just starting to see my Dad as a semi-decent, but one ruled by misguided intentions, human being.
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    Featured Member PuertoRicanPinup's Avatar
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    Angry Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my dad would have not let my mom raise me in a crazy cult!
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  8. #8
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    Been better on the worth ethic. Laid off of the guilt trips. Displayed more energy. Lived healthier and still be living.

  9. #9
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    --not sent me to a ridiculous, uber-conservative "Christian" fundamentalist high school. (I'm in a good place spiritually now, but damn did that place fuck me up for years.)

    --not had so many kids. it's not rocket science; don't have more kids than you can afford to reasonably support! Then maybe you could actually take care of the one/few that you did have, instead of crying poor and having everyone in the family struggling.

    --not acted like I was crazy and stupid for not wanting to follow the stereotypical "practical college degree/9 to 5 career/suburban lifestyle with whitebread man and 2 kids/retirement/death" life script. (I took a few years off after high school, will be going to college on my own dime in another country, don't want kids EVER, and sure as fuck would rather have an "unconventional" job aka stripping/bartending and spend all my spare time singing and dancing. And apparently this makes me an embarrassment to my mother. Oh well!)

  10. #10
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I think my parents did just fine. I would have liked a little less religious craziness from my mom but meh...

    Seriously, teaching your kids that sex before marriage is bad and refusing to discuss other alternatives just leads to future problems (thank god me, my sister, and my brothers didn't do anything stupid).
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my mother would have spoken to me in Filipino as well as English. I would be fluent in both languages.

    I also wish they let me take a martial arts class...always wanted to learn Karate.



  12. #12
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    Used Protection.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  13. #13
    miss marina
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I also wish my mom wouldent have signed the papers for me to drop out of school. even though i said i would make her life hell, it still would have be nice to hear "IM the parent, and you are not going to fuck up your life anymore!" or something like that.

  14. #14
    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish they would have signed me up for all the extracurricular stuff I wanted to do as a little girl. I wanted to take gymnastics, ballet, cheerleading, science camp and do pageants but they always said they didn't have the time. As a shy kid I think it really would have helped me build self esteem and come out of my shell.

    Mileia's post reminds me...
    My dad is also bilingual and I wish he would have taught us to speak spanish.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my mom would have been more open and receptive to us about talking about things like birth control and sex. It wasn't really her fault though, she was raised by an extremely old-fashioned and conservative Norwegian mother, who taught her that those things should never be discussed. She is still mortified if those subjects came up.

  16. #16
    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I don't think I could have done a whole lot better than my parents- in fact, I probably would have done a whole lot worse in terms of fucking up a child. Having said that, I wish I'd been kept away from religion and the extended family, since I see both as major sources of my lifelong neuroses. It would also have been helpful if my family had been less critical, I think.

  17. #17
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I think my parents did a relatively good job. I was never deprived of anything, and spoiled as all get out.

    I do however wish they had set a better example for communication. Because of how I saw them resolve their issues, I tend to want to "win" and point fingers in an argument instead of wanting to solve it.

  18. #18
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my real dad didn't remarry so soon after my mom died.

    I wish my real dad didn't marry a psycho after my mom died.

    I wish my real dad had a spine and would stand up to said psycho.

    I wish my real dad and said psycho hadn't sent me away like they did. Ow.

    I wish my real dad would realize that it's foolish to not hate me for all the majorly BAD things I've done, but to hate me for liking girls.
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  19. #19
    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my dad had not had to travel and my mom didn't sleep all the time.

  20. #20
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my mom had gotten the help she needed so she didn't destroy her life and hurt everyone around her.

    I wish my dad told more stories about when he was young, but it hurts him to think about those times so I forgive him.

  21. #21
    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my mom had confronted the sex issue head on. Saying "ANY and all sex before marraige is bad and will make you a whore going to hell" to a girl who(admittably she didn't know) had already been raped is a recipe for DISASTER. And this isn't even including what she told my sister when she cought her with a *gasp* ROMANCE NOVEL of my moms.... "If you follow those feelings you'll end up pregnant, dropping out of school, going to hell, and thoroughly miserable".

    I wish my dad particularely, but both parents, wouldn't have ASSUMED that they knew what religion their kids were. The most miserable times of my life were spent at christian holidays, crying inside as my dad read the gospel, because I didn't understand why I couldn't believe or find comfort or spirituality in a word of it! And getting confirmed, standing up in a church, and lying my ass off-STILL has had a huge effect on my sense of self-and not a good one. And he still doesn't know i'm an athiest.

    I wish my dad and mom would have talked it over, and emphasized the jewish heritage(my moms) in bringing us up. THese are the customs that comfort me, even if i don't believe the religion. I wanted to learn hebrew. For a while my grandparents tried teaching me little bits every time I was over. but the words of the Schma, and the Sabbath candle blessings are burned into my consiousness, with a sense of safety and love. NOT the rigidity of the religion I was forced into.

    I wish my dad would not have taken my sisters side in everything-even over his own wife! He's spoiled her rotten, allowed to her to make my moms life a miserable hell.

    As you can tell, my family is HIGHLY disfuctional, emotionally abusive, and unhealthy. There's a REASON i will NEVER consider living within reasonable driving distance(IE a couple hundred miles) of them!

  22. #22
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I still wish my mother was "motherly". She calls once a year, if that. Lately she's been trying to get me to learn how to invest. Sending me books and what not. So, maybe she's trying:p

    My dad was a great guy before his 3rd marriage. I wish he was as nice to us kids as he is to strangers.

    I can't seem to function in a relationship. I date good men, but I nitpick them for every little thing I dislike about their personality. I'm so afraid to commit and end up in an unhappy marriage.

    On a good note, because I'm not close to my family (their choice), I am able to travel about, move out of state, and not worry about "missing mom or dad"!

  23. #23
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish that they had taken care of their issues. I wish that they wouldn't have popped out too many kids as a way of trying to cover up the issues and try to show off to the world everything that they wanted to be, with me as the outlet for the frustration from keeping up the constant facade.

  24. #24
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    I wish my real father would have loved me and recognized me as a daughter and done more than just give me up to his sister.

    I wish my real mother would of gotten help for her drinking problems this way she could of taken care of me.

  25. #25
    Featured Member sunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you wish your parents had done differently?

    Mine are nothing too serious.

    I wish my parents had encouraged or downright forced me to play sports. I needed the discipline and the social outlet.

    I wish my parents had taught me Spanish and Hebrew from when I was little.
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