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Thread: What the hell is in the water?!

  1. #76
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    I think that it all started with the threads about being frustrated with children or being Childfree. It really opened up a lot of cans of worms, a lot of people butted in, a lot of people got annoyed at those who butted in because there was a lot of entitlement, the butters got defensive and considered themselves innocent even though they'd have a cow if we did what they did, and we're all annoyed at each other now.
    I think you are way more focuse on that thread then anyone else. I've never seen someone so possessive of a fing thread! let it go already

  2. #77
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    1. I dont think the bitchy behavior has to do with who kissy kissies who on here. I dont think the clique sort of things matter when it comes to the bitchy behavior.

    2. I think mostly the bitchyness is due to this all being typed, word use, and how someone reads what is written. If you are feeling shitty (which it seems many of us are due to external issues) you will read "Whatever, anyway..." as being cynical and dismissive, maybe having some sort of personal "your oppinion is dumb" connotation rather than "ok, we disagree, now, moving on". I use this as an example because in real like I say "whatever, anyway..." all the time when I disagree but it is a non issue and it's time to move on.... however I also use it when I think someone is an idiot and want to be snarky, and you can totally hear the difference, but on here you wouldnt be able to tell.

    And as for the cliques.... I cant think of many, and I dont find them disruptive. As long as threads do have answeres and as long as the derailing isn't like taking over the thread it doesnt bother me. I kind of like it too because sometimes it beings up another interesting point or idea.

    In my group dynamics class (which sucked donkey dong, and I didnt think I learned anything until now, so thanks guys!) there was all this friction, a lot like what seems to be going on here. But no one was being confronted or anything and there was no change and no movement. Once we said what we saw going on, and werent vauge about it it really helped up become more cohesive and work better together and that heavy feeling and tension was gone and it was light and happy. So I will tell you, this is what I see...

    So I'm going to step out on a ledge here, hope I dont offend...

    The cliques (from what I've seen) or friendships that may inhibit or intimidate others are
    Paige and Pooka the wifeys... I see it as intimidating because you obviously hold eachother in high regard. As a noob I wanted to be held in a high regard, and thought both of you were cool, but I am not like either one and felt that I could achieve that sort of... status for lack of a better term. Then I realized that is just silly thinking. This is the freaking internet!

    Paige Pooka and Cally, the Aphrodite style threesome... the three of you in a lovefest is enough to intimidate any shy person, you three are all over the boards and you presence is def known. (and this applies to the above as well) you are the popular people on here (and obviously there are others, but these seem to have become stuck together)

    I know there are others out there for sure!! But right now these are the ones that stick most in my mind. The ones that I can think of that do the most kiss kiss love love stuff. I personally dont care about it. Maybe I'm part of this, I dont know, I dont think so but I heart Cally way hard... and I know I've done this.

    But really I dont think these friendships are the root of the being bitchy thing...
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
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  3. #78
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    I like that SW has grown and is less sterile. In my opinion, it's less one-sided than it used to be because at least now people are offering different opinions. Yes, those who say things that aren't popular get flamed, and there are cliques..... but that's part of the joy of being in a community. I'd rather deal with some drama at the cost of not being over-moderated.

  4. #79
    Senior Member ChubbyChaser's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    It's been bitchy here, in the locker room at my club, and out and about in life *sigh* It's an off season, I think. It's hot, money isn't the greatest for the entertainment industry right now, it's humid, and the summer drift of dancers has started. We're all a bit edgy. Especially us without air conditioning
    Sex for money? Never! For jewels, and furs, and revenge, like a lady! But not for money!

  5. #80
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    Thank you Fawn! (good to see you posting again by the way)

    PEOPLE!!! When you get frightened you'll be flamed--post it ANYWAY! Let your flag fly!! No one is going to come through the screen and whip yo' ass!

    When I first found this sanctuary, I was so intimidated and took it very personally when I thought my posts were ignored. Gradually, I got bolder and stopped imagining other people's responses. DO THAT! You are all so valuable. Every voice (even sophiemarie) is so precious and rich and makes the community stronger. Everyone has an experience to share and as long as you're not abusive you are sooooo welcome here!

    Don't let the cliques bother you. I have buds in the community but it doesn't keep me from disagreeing when I must. They don't get angry at my disagreement. Oh, they may ask what my rationale is but they don't rip me a new one! As for the various and sundry--ya' can't please 'em all! EVER! That's OK, don't let that fact stop YOU from enjoying YOUR COMMUNITY.
    Preach it, sister!

  6. #81
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    Paige Pooka and Cally, the Aphrodite style threesome... blah blah blah...


    sorry i'm a guy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    But really I dont think these friendships are the root of the being bitchy thing...
    but seriously, i do agree with a lot of what roulette posted. normally, i really just keep my nose only in the lounge, picture (funny threads), and ladies-only (sorry, but it's just fascinating stuff sometimes) but i haven't seen an overwhelming hate-wave.

    if anything (in those few sub-forums) i've seen very helpful advice and camaraderie between the ladies of the forum.

    but like roulette notes, you're bound to have conflict when you place different people in the same room. and imo, a little revolution every now and then helps keep the blood pumping.

    on other forums i liken it to burning out the underbrush and clearing the way for fresh ideas. "i agree" "ditto" posts get boring really quick. yes, they're much easier to mod but who goes to an ice-cream shop with only 3-flavors?

    as long as the posts don't devolve into hateful/spiteful insults (although they're fun to watch too! ), a little disagreement promotes discussion.

    i have nothing to do with this industry but i really like seeing the daily discussions (probably because they're so different from what i'm used to). having no curse/nudity-filters and cyber-hobnobbing with boootiful wimmen all-day long doesn't hurt either, true.

    but i really do think it's good to see opposing views. sometimes they're going to erupt into full-scale flame wars but sometimes you also get to see that moment of epiphany or "holy smokes, girls shave their butts?" jmo

  7. #82
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post

    The cliques (from what I've seen) or friendships that may inhibit or intimidate others are
    Paige and Pooka the wifeys... I see it as intimidating because you obviously hold eachother in high regard. As a noob I wanted to be held in a high regard, and thought both of you were cool, but I am not like either one and felt that I could achieve that sort of... status for lack of a better term. Then I realized that is just silly thinking. This is the freaking internet!

    Paige Pooka and Cally, the Aphrodite style threesome... the three of you in a lovefest is enough to intimidate any shy person, you three are all over the boards and you presence is def known. (and this applies to the above as well) you are the popular people on here (and obviously there are others, but these seem to have become stuck together)

    See, the thing to remember about Paige + Pooka + Cally is that we developed friendships over time here. Cally and I talked a lot in chat, and Pooka just outright PM'd me one day out of the blue. The communication ball began rolling. We really didn't do anything different than anyone else when they make friends. I was this way with Rhia when she posted more. And TM. I get lovey with others too. Rozz, Alexxa, Lady Jade, Mr C, Mast, etc... it's really nothing more than being pals. And they have a wide variety of Been Here X Amount Of Time.

    There is nothing really, that I or any of us "lovey posters", are doing that stops anyone else from joining in! If you're intimidated, what can I really do to change how you feel? Bite yer lip and jump on in! It's like getting into the cold pool. Jump in or inch in slowly, but if you sit out, you miss out.

    I like you well enough, Roulette. I'd totally have a lovey post with you any day! Hell, I would with most folks on here.

    There is a TINY handful of posters I honestly don't get along with, and I tend to keep that to myself. And I really DO vocally disagree with my friends when the time arise. I think a big part of why it's not done A LOT is because... well... hell! We're pals because we have things in common, yeah? Opinions are often included in that Things In Common pile, IMHO.
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  8. #83
    sun child
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    My only complaint about SW is that I wish the review links would be fixed.

    It's just the internet! Ignore bitchiness and step away from pointless arguments.

    I think the clique that some have complained about is mostly imagined.

  9. #84
    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by sun child View Post
    I think the clique that some have complained about is mostly imagined.
    I don't even know who's in the clique. I must be out of the loop.

  10. #85
    sun child
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    That's what I'm talking about. I think some people are imagining that there is this clique lording over SW.

  11. #86
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    ITA agree with everything Kaylinn said. It's not so much a clique, it's the pack mentality that outta control. A "popular" member says what they think, then everyone follows suit, in essence "ganging up" on the poster in question. I hope to see the problems get better once we get a mod in here. The overall tone of SW has changed since I've been a member and it would be nice to see a change for the better.


    ETA: Also, I think a lot more people are outspoken b/c it's the internet. The fake id thread - if you were in the dressing room and heard two girls talking about using a fake id, would you tell them off like some did on this site? No you would probably just keep your mouth shut b/c it's none of your business anyway. But since we're on the internet and no one really knows anyone anyway, it's perfectly okay for people to type their opinions as disrespectful as can be.

  12. #87
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by PaigeDWinter View Post
    See, the thing to remember about Paige + Pooka + Cally is that we developed friendships over time here. Cally and I talked a lot in chat, and Pooka just outright PM'd me one day out of the blue. The communication ball began rolling. We really didn't do anything different than anyone else when they make friends. I was this way with Rhia when she posted more. And TM. I get lovey with others too. Rozz, Alexxa, Lady Jade, Mr C, Mast, etc... it's really nothing more than being pals. And they have a wide variety of Been Here X Amount Of Time.

    There is nothing really, that I or any of us "lovey posters", are doing that stops anyone else from joining in! If you're intimidated, what can I really do to change how you feel? Bite yer lip and jump on in! It's like getting into the cold pool. Jump in or inch in slowly, but if you sit out, you miss out.

    I like you well enough, Roulette. I'd totally have a lovey post with you any day! Hell, I would with most folks on here.

    There is a TINY handful of posters I honestly don't get along with, and I tend to keep that to myself. And I really DO vocally disagree with my friends when the time arise. I think a big part of why it's not done A LOT is because... well... hell! We're pals because we have things in common, yeah? Opinions are often included in that Things In Common pile, IMHO.
    I think you got me right and you got me wrong... I don't have a problem with the friendships that have been made. it would be really weird if none had been made over these past few years. And though I may be intimidated by some people it does not prevent me from talking to them or joking around with them. These obvious friendships may however intimidate a shyer person and keep them from speaking or saying something contrary to what the group thinks (speaking forum by forum here). I know that within these friedships there are disagreements. And there isn't anything you can do, you're friends and the newbs arent there yet with you or anyone else.

    This is a group of people. Of course there are going to be friendships and disagreements and people who are rubbed the wrong way. that's natural and normal. I don't think that these friendships are a big deal. I think this thread has somehow made it into a big deal by trying to blame someone(s) which isn't fair. I think the bitchyness is an outside factor being brought in. That is all. When I started talking about thr friendships I was only doing it to point out how some might view them as a problem (derailing threads with the lovey stuff), but ultimately as I said i feel it is us as members feeling kinda crappy about work or love or life in general and misreading what others say, as well as some of us just being snarky without really meaning to.

    Thank you Paige for responding... I am not actually very intimidated by you much anymore, but when I first started on here I was a little. You were like this super rad and awesome chick. And you still are, but you're somehow more... I dunno, human? I'm not sure but the intimidation factor is lower.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #88
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post

    Thank you Paige for responding... I am not actually very intimidated by you much anymore, but when I first started on here I was a little. You were like this super rad and awesome chick. And you still are, but you're somehow more... I dunno, human? I'm not sure but the intimidation factor is lower.



    I'm glad. I really am. It bugs me to know that I seem more than just some chick to folks. I like knowing that I'm not intimidating. I like ya'll here and I just wanna be pals!
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  14. #89
    sun child
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Aw! Group hug!

  15. #90
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    you just strike me as cooler than the average chick... and a little more... not wise but something akin to it. (I dont like calling people wise, it seems pretentious for some reason)
    Last edited by Roulette; 05-24-2007 at 03:45 PM. Reason: fixed spelling eventho I I said i wouldnt... I fail.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  16. #91
    Senior Member Esco!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    it seems pretencious(sp?) for some reason)
    Did you mean:



  17. #92
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by LatinaRose View Post
    ITA agree with everything Kaylinn said. It's not so much a clique, it's the pack mentality that outta control. A "popular" member says what they think, then everyone follows suit, in essence "ganging up" on the poster in question. I hope to see the problems get better once we get a mod in here. The overall tone of SW has changed since I've been a member and it would be nice to see a change for the better.
    I don't see a pack mentality. I can only speak for myself but what I post I actually mean. I'm a grown-ass woman (Steve Harvey reference) so I post what I think. May be you should pm the members you don't believe. Put 'em to the test! I've done it. At least you'll know for sure where they're coming from!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  18. #93
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by PookaShell View Post
    I post a ton on here, and now that I've made my presence better known by being a post whore for a while I feel like I get better responses - but when I first came on here I was pretty much invisible. My threads would get a few responses here and there, but now I get alot more feedback because after a long time of mosying my way into chat and talking into the late hours with people on here, pm-ing anyone I thought sounded upset or had changed their mood to sad and asking what was going on, trying to be friendly to everyone and respond alot so that people would start to recognize my posts, talking to a few members on the phone, etc.....
    But I'm still intimidated by the people who've posted on here way longer than me. You just have to put yourself out there. The second day I was on SW I pm-d Paige and told her that I was incredibly intimidated by her hotness and pretty much in love with her, and though she'd been here WAY longer than me then we've been friends since then...
    I've recieved my share of negative feedback, and lack of responses, and I don't know if I'm a part of any clique because I'm still indimidated as hell by alot of the more well known posters.....but I apoligize if my occasional thread de-railing to love on a poster has been annoying. I thought we were all just bein friendly. I've noticed some bitchiness on here lately, and I hope I haven't contributed to any of it or any hurt feelings.

    *end rambling*

    *exit pooka*
    Honestly, even the thought of meeting SWers makes me have anxiety. I'm very nervous and shy around new people; I even admit to backing out of a SWFest or two because social situations with new people freak me the fuck out. And the phone? Forget it. Even the people I know don't get phone time with me too much.

  19. #94
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    Honestly, even the thought of meeting SWers makes me have anxiety. I'm very nervous and shy around new people; I even admit to backing out of a SWFest or two because social situations with new people freak me the fuck out. And the phone? Forget it. Even the people I know don't get phone time with me too much.
    Interesting... Never would have guessed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  20. #95
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    LOL. I'm totally different once I actually get ot know a person and make friends with them. It's the act of getting over the "getting to know you, making friends" hump that is so hard for me.

    Also, that's probably the reason that I haven't met HK in person yet. We keep saying we should meet up, but really I'm scared as hell.

    I also don't go in chat much because I feel like I'm ignored because the people that know each other better are too busy talking to each other to notice me.

    See Roulette? I'm totally not intimidating, I'm a big ball of anxiety half the time!


    *runs away*

  21. #96
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Aww get one now and we'll talk.. I'm totally new to the chat thing so I'm used to people that I dont now at all... I also used to be shy but then I kinda said fuck it here I am - BAM in yo face!! Usually people just laugh at me and we get on ok.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

    Disclaimer - I DO NOT EDIT MY COMMENTS
    It hate to re-read things I write
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  22. #97
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    I agree with what Kailynn and LR have said. There's not really a specififc "clique", but moreso, popular posters. Popular posters get alllll the replies, and their opinions sway everyone else's! Not a bad thing, really. It's life! But it has really very little to do with post count and time spent here. For example, Pooka joined this site after me, but she has a million more posts and a lot more presence here.

    Good? Bad? It's neither!

    But the matter of all these hateful comments are a result of relaxed tact, status, and a tendency to gang up and "go with the flow" in order to be recognized.

    Just my further thoughts.

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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    I dont think people should 'be afraid' to post certain threads. Its a forum...make with the conversation already. Gosh ya'll are thinking too much around here. Lets face it here some people are down right annoying on SW and some are very endearing. So say what you want to say just be adult about it but unfortunately being adult has many definitions to people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fawn View Post
    ^^^ I agree with this. It's a forum, who cares if someone dissagrees with you, you can turn your computer off or switch the page and leave the situation. Just post your piece, let people say what they say, don't take anything too personally. We are strippers for crying out loud, we're supposed to be known for our thick skin and assertivness. Poeple have dissagreed with me highly before, and in another thread been totally and completely helpfull and friendly. That's how it should be. Just agree to dissagree, just like anywhere else in the world. Toughen up.
    it isn't about toughening up. it's about the fact that people get totally bashed. yeah, i said some not so nice things to extacy in daytona when she had her thread about her fake marriage. and maybe i shouldnt have. i was going to bring up the fake id thread, too, but LR beat me to it. i'm sure many of you have done illegal things at one time or another, but lots of people were quick to bash her for it. thats just irks me to no end.

    my point was that there have been times that ive posted about something and been bashed for what i said, and i find it to be hypocritical. girls who have been in my shoes (admittedly) arent supportive or helpful, they judge. and THAT bothers me. i dont care if people disagree with me. but when i(or anyone else) am venting, ranting, asking for advice, etc, and people are rude, it makes me want to stay away from here. and yeah, i could check out of the threads, but there are sometimes helpful things mixed in there. even more, i shouldnt HAVE to. if i ask a question and people are nasty about it, what help were they? did they answer my question? no. i shouldnt have to wade through negative comments to get to an actual answer. so no, i dont think it's about toughening up.

    also, i think that what pooka said about being more well known gets you better responses is true, but it also gets you different responses. while i find these people at no fault at all (seriously.. its nothing against you, so please dont take it that way. just making an example!!) girls have posted pictures about their weight loss and they get great feedback and support. i feel like if i were to do that, it wouldnt be the same. maybe i'm wrong, but it's just how i feel based on different responses that different people get on the same topics.

    i definately agree with the idea that one person gets the ball rolling and then the bitchiness comes out, though.

  24. #99
    Tart
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    I never read the child free thread ( or whatever the hell it was caused. ) I'm assuming this entire thread has spawned from it.,judging by the amount of times it's been mentioned during.

    At any rate, My question is why is ANYONE bothered by a message board for fucks sake.

    Who fucking cares about cliques?! seriously . This is a website that you can either go to or not go to. You can either be apart of discussions or NOT be apart of them. No one is forcing anyones hand.

    And while it would great if all threads stayed on track, does it matter at the end of the day?

    ITS THE INTERNET! fuck I swear. I don't get why a lot are rilled up over it. Because they don't get a degree of attention ? Or answers to specific questions? I can't figure it out.

    I take the entire " it's not that fucking important" I actually had someone msg me and ask if I was pissed that on my birthday no one started a happy birthday thread to me but did for pooka. Dude seriously...lol why would I get upset?

    UGH

  25. #100
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What the hell is in the water?!

    hbd tart!

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