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Thread: I just dumped my regular

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default I just dumped my regular

    An old regular of mine got in touch with me Thursday via e-mail and asked if he could come in and see me. I really thought about it, and then I told him no. I feel a little weird about the decision -- he has a lot of money, and there was a time when I liked him a lot. However, it's really never anything but drama every time he comes in. Since the second time he saw me he's been hounding me to dump my boyfriend, swearing that he's in love with me and we should be together, and so on. However, he certainly doesn't treat me the way you'd treat someone you care about -- pressuring me to see him OTC, putting all kinds of drama on me when I say no, making fun of my boyfriend, whom he doesn't even know, but is convinced that he must be some druggie loser taking advantage of me, and so on. He sets up dates with me in the club and then doesn't show up, then later sends me excuses about how seeing me is just too painful because I won't do whatever it is he wants me to do. Finally about four months ago he said he wouldn't be coming in to see me anymore, made a huge deal out of it, too. I was relieved. Then he pops up again this week.

    I'm not one to turn down money casually. I've tolerated all sorts of bullshit in this job because the bullshitter was paying me enough to make it tolerable. But I've just had enough with this guy. After I wrote him back and said no -- quite politely -- I got a string of snide responses from him, which have only convinced me that I did the right thing. I actually feel really releived now.

    Sometimes it's just not worth it, you know?

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    A good example of using your intuition to head off a worse situation.

    Nothing is good enough for those types of men. "Give an inch, they'll take a mile."

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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    Sounds like you did the right thing. What a creep.

  4. #4
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    It also sounds as if he's the type of guy who makes strip club visits when he's going through drama with his girlfriend, but stops when he thinks he won't be "needing" to put his feelers out for a new girlfriend. His sudden re-appearance sounds as if he's single again...

    UCK!!!! He reminds me of guys I've known. This is why I won't listen to man sob stories. Men lie too!

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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    I agree, sounds to me like you made the right choice. Gut feelings are more important to listen to than the bills on the table. Sounds like he wasn't worth it.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    Yes, I'm glad you made that decision too. Drama free always trumps more money in my book. Sometimes some regulars just aren't worth the hassle.

    I actually have a reg. who I was actually thinking about calling a few weeks ago to tell him about my new club. Then I started thinking about how he was subtly trying to meet me OTC, and how he was trying to figure out where I live, etc. Creepy ol' man. I had to just sit him down one day and tell him I had no intention of ever meeting him OTC. I saw him maybe 2x after that...that was well over a year ago. Yea, it's not worth the headache.







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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    I think you made the right decision. Sometimes it's definitely not worth the money, especially when he appears to be the manipulative type.
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    ^^SO fucking manipulative. I'm not easily manipulated, and I can hold my own, but it's just exhausting. I remember when he used to come and see me, I' be pretty much worthless for the rest of the night after he left, it took so much out of me to deal with his bullshit.

    When I met him I wondered why a guy who is good-looking, rich, smart, and at least superficially quite charming was coming to a strip club to pay girls to hang out with him. I now suspect he's just too much of a manipulative, controlling prick to be in a relationship in the real world.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    yep i passed on some money last week myself. i just didnt want to deal with this person at all.

  10. #10
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    Yep...sometimes it really isnt worth the money. There will be another reg...hopefully one that doesnt play mind games for the cash...

  11. #11
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    When I met him I wondered why a guy who is good-looking, rich, smart, and at least superficially quite charming was coming to a strip club to pay girls to hang out with him. I now suspect he's just too much of a manipulative, controlling prick to be in a relationship in the real world.
    Did he look anything like THIS dude? I was dumb enough to get played Alice-style by a fucktard I met through work who fit the "Dan" mold to a "T". This is why you never take the bait at work from the guy who seems "too good" to be in there.....
    Last edited by madmaxine; 05-23-2008 at 12:02 AM.

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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    You made the right choice, he's not worth the hassle!

  13. #13
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    Thanks for the words, guys. I felt a little weird turning money away...but I'm glad I did. He really was the classic Bad Customer...starting out giving me A LOT of money and being super-sweet, then slowly wanted to pay less and less and get more and more. Ugh.

    I put up with it for a while cause he was my first real regular. Now that I know what it's like to have regular customers who are respectful of my boundaries, I have no patience with him.

    He was a little bitch about it when I told him I didn't want to see him tonight. Said my decision "amazed" him. What's so amazing about not wanting to be pestered and jerked around? I guess he can't beleive that money's not enough to make me put up with him anymore.

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    You did the right thing. Of course he's "amazed" that you didn't want to see him anymore. His ego is bruised b/c no amount will make you want to put up with him. It's a good thing you did what your feelings told you to do.

    I have a regular that I just dumped too. He whines about me not kissing him on the lips, whines that I don't tell him enough about my personal life, then he'll make snarky remarks about me and the other girls. I've had it. I don't need the drama. And if you can't respect me or my boundaries then fuck you, I don't need your money, because there are others out there who will spend more and give a hell of a lot less drama.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    Some guys truly think that we value money over anything else, and that all they have to do is shove money in our faces and say the right thing, and we'll do whatever they want. I love showing these assholes that's not how it works

    I completely understand why you'd turn away Mr Drama. I had one who really creeped me out so I had to get rid of him. I think your guy sounds like he would've become a much bigger pain in your ass if you didn't turn him down now - that kind of dude is unbalanced. And of course he's shocked you turned him down; you've basically told him he's so intolerable that even his money isn't good enough. HAHA! He may be persistent though - might keep coming around to hassle you so keep an eye out

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    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    I think you made the right choice for sure! But no one is saying aything about safety... Do you think this guy might become resentful and subsequently violent because you said you didnt want to see him? Please be careful going to and from work!!

    also and totally off topic, I always see your avatar as a dirl in jeans bent over at the waist looking through her legs... I dont know why... maybe because I dont look closely...
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    I was in your same exact position when one of my old regulars was trying to manipulate me into dating him OTC, mindgames and all. He was from Houston, too ..... I broke it off with his sneaky ass, and have never looked back since! Good luck...you so don't need that bullshit!



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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    I know what you're talking about! There's a limit! I had a regular (well, he TRIES to be) who spent like, $200 whenever he came in... Only, I couldn't deal with his maintenance. He wanted me to meet him OTC and threw a hissy fit if I didn't drop everyone and run to his side as soon as he walked in the door. It was probably a dumb move money-wise... and it's not like he'll never dance with me again. But, freedom is part of the reason I DO this job and I don't need someone trying to take it away... ya know?

    ps: another good reason not to share bf info with them. It's not like they ever have POSITIVE things to say about them. Ugh.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    However, it's really never anything but drama every time he comes in. Since the second time he saw me he's been hounding me to dump my boyfriend, swearing that he's in love with me and we should be together, and so on. However, he certainly doesn't treat me the way you'd treat someone you care about -- pressuring me to see him OTC, putting all kinds of drama on me when I say no, making fun of my boyfriend, whom he doesn't even know, but is convinced that he must be some druggie loser taking advantage of me, and so on.

    Good for you Grace!

    Ugh, that sounds EXACTLY like a "regular" I had once. I only saw him a handful of times, but he would go on about how he just looooved me and needed to dump my "cock sucking motherfucker loser boyfriend". It really pissed me off because the guy I'm seeing is such a caring sweetheart. And of course he never met my guy. And he was also the same age as my mom. Ew.

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    Veteran Member ChristyWild's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    I had one of those myself at one club. I mean, he started out all cool, and we got along, but then he got all creepy. It wasn't necessarily anything specific at first, but then he started talking about taking me out on his boat (big time fishery guy) and then buying me a ticket to fly up and see him in Maine over the summer. But then, I happen to run into him at a Barnes and Noble, and he bought me some books and all....which was kinda creepy cuz I'd just decided to go there after work on a whim. But I thought I'd shrug it off as a coincidence since he HAD told me he lived in the area and knew I liked books. But still, the possessiveness of it all just creeped me out, and when I moved clubs, I just didn't tell him. Didn't think that a stalkerish kinda guy was a great asset, ya know?
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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    ^^ Eeesh. Any time a guy talks about "taking me out on his boat" I see it as a red flag. They want to take you out to sea & keep you captive.

    Ladies, stay away from the "I wanna take you out on my boat" guys!

    That's the bad side of having regulars-they can become stalkerish ...
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    It sounds like u made the right choice. You dont need those sort of head f**ks in your life even for money.

    Some guys are just too crazy,

  23. #23
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: I just dumped my regular

    You know you are a loser when...you can't even pay a stripper to hang out with you!

    I think most of us can be pretty tolerant when it comes to dealing with idiots. I mean, that's the nature of our job a good deal of the time. But there are those few that really push our limits, those stalkery, manipulative, handsy and/or downright rude assholes that make us want to carry an icepick strapped to us with our garters. I know those guys, and I have had to tell them 'goodbye' too. You did the right thing, Grace. Clearing him out is only giving you more time to find a GOOD regular who respects you (or at least doesn't give you any shit).
    Edit: I think this can only mean MORE money for you - primarily because you'll be less stressed out from this dude and you will have time to devote to better prospects. It's a win-win situation.

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