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Thread: Strange problem

  1. #1
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Strange problem

    I think I come across as stuck up. I have been dancing long enough, I know what to wear that is flattering to my body, I know how to dance, I know how to do my makeup, I have a pretty face, and I think all this intimidates customers. A DJ once told me they look at me and think they can't afford me... and especially lately I keep getting guys that buy 1 or 2 dances from me, but don't want a VIP. They always make references about 'getting that paper' or whatever... I'm always polite and friendly, but I'm not here to pick up guys. I'm here to pay the bills... are they picking up on this vibe (that I don't necessarily want to f*ck their brains out?)

    Does this make any sense to anyone? What should I do differently???

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    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    And this is a recent problem- like in the last 6 months. I was a TOP earner before that...

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    yes it makes sense to me. sometimes, when we've been at this for too long, the idea that we are after only the money comes across loudly! i think maybe telling yourself that you are there only for fun (duh, you arent, but still it's a mentality) and if you make money cool will only help. when a guy says something about making money (that paper) say, all confused, "huhhh? actually, my job is a lot of fun! i love it, granted i like that i make money doing it, but really, it's fun for me! i dont need to do this, but i LIKE doing it." that seems to quash all doubt from a guy's head, in my experience.

    Love it!

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    Default Re: Strange problem

    ^^Thats a great thing to say. Im going to try that.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    I've had DJ's and a few customers tell me that my look intimidates them..Seriously! You would think men would want to go into a stripclub and see something that isn't at their house already, laid out on the couch watching TV.

    My only suggestion is smile more. Don't cross your arms, or put them on your hips.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Banned Helle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    My friend at my club is probably one of the most beautiful girls we have but she says she suffers from the same problem--Men think she is stuck up or ditzy. She's neither. I just try to help out by acting goofy with her so maybe she'll come across as more personable. I'll be interested to read this thread and pass it along to her.

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    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    ^^^ haven't seen YOU around in a while!!!! (*sorry threadjack!*) nice to see ya!

    hmm, back to OP... is there anything you can do to be a little less "monetarily" intimidating? more goofy? more "human?" share a bit more about things you like to do/try to connect/laugh with custie more... this usually works for me. Of COURSE I have dollar signs in my eyes... but if we're laughing over shared interests/experiences, he kinda seems to forget about it for the time being. It may take 5 min. more but if it pays off in dances it's worth it.

  8. #8
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    Obviously, your hustle is off, if your getting guys to buy the LD's, but not VIP. I dont think it has anything to do with your looks.
    I also knwo what to wear, how to dance, and know I look pretty good, and I don't have an issue selling VIP's. I can sell VIP's much easier than I can sell lapdances all night.

    If they are buying LD's, but not going to vip, and making references to making money, it seems to me that your acting to pushy.

    You have to know how to ( act) genuinly interested in the guy.

    Even an ugly girl can come off as stuck up, it's all in how you act, not so much how you look. I've had people intimidated by me at first glance, but 10 seconds into talking to me, they're not anymore, because of my personality. I know how to put people at ease, and make them like me.

    SO my question is, how are you acting? How are you approaching guys, and how are you trying to sell VIP's? And you can be a little pushy trying to sell them without comming across as if it's all about the money. You have to come across as if you really want to spend time with them in VIP, make them feel like OMG, this hot stripper really likes me, and wants to spend more time with me, wow, I must be hot, I must be cool, blah blah whatever. Build him up, make him feel good.

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    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    I am not pushy. I am totally laid back and I let them talk about whatever they want to talk about. Maybe I need to take more control of the situation.

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    Veteran Member badpixie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    What's your look, as far as clothing and accessories go? The way you dress as a stripper projects your stripper personality to men. We are caricatures in the club (which can be a good thing).

    The girls who are blonde, have big boobs, and wear gowns with lots of sparkling jewelry - the ones who go for the glamorous look - do attract high rollers, but scare off a lot of other guys, because they look expensive (even though their dances cost the same as anyone else's).

    Maybe you look too glamorous - try getting a few new costumes that look less intimidating and strippery, like retro/pinup lingerie, or make your look more "cute" with less dramatic eye makeup, leg warmers, etc.

    I often wear costumes, which will make me "the maid" or "the nurse" for the night. It gives guys the chance to use some dumb lines ("Will you clean my house?" "I need mouth to mouth!") that I hear over and over again, but it makes me approachable. Even shy guys will say they like the costume.

    I also carry a Hello Kitty purse, which for some reason guys LOVE. I think it's because they can't recognize a designer purse, but they all know Hello Kitty. Find something you can use in your "look" that is immediately recognizable - it will make your stripper personality friendlier.

  11. #11
    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckyOne View Post
    I think I come across as stuck up. I have been dancing long enough, I know what to wear that is flattering to my body, I know how to dance, I know how to do my makeup, I have a pretty face, and I think all this intimidates customers. A DJ once told me they look at me and think they can't afford me... and especially lately I keep getting guys that buy 1 or 2 dances from me, but don't want a VIP. They always make references about 'getting that paper' or whatever... I'm always polite and friendly, but I'm not here to pick up guys. I'm here to pay the bills... are they picking up on this vibe (that I don't necessarily want to f*ck their brains out?)

    Does this make any sense to anyone? What should I do differently???
    Well you can look good, excellent, whatever. When it comes down to the nitty gritty --its who can shoot the shit to get that $$$. Personality goes a long way in this buisness I think. I always feel dudes out and act totally different towards different customers.
    Last edited by Kalligirl; 05-29-2007 at 04:32 PM.

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    Default Re: Strange problem

    Kalligirl, you're right. Your hustle varies from customer to customer and I believe you learn that over time. I've been dancing for a year now and I'm finally starting to see just a dimming of the light bulb. I think confidence is key by knowing that you're the best dancer in there and knowing that YOU BOTH will have the best times ever. Men have fragile egos, way more than I ever knew before and when you really stroke his ego by not only telling him how smart, handsome, successful, etc. but by also saying things like "I'm so glad I met you, you're so not like the other guys that come in here, most of them are all jerks, you're such a gentleman. You've got the whole package!" If they're married I always tell them "well whoever that lady is at your home, she's one damn lucky woman, I wish I could've been the one to snag you" They eat that shit up!

    Just try to relax more, make them feel like you're sooooo into them, that you think they're the best man that's walked in the club EVER, and try to joke with them and make them laugh. I know when I'm in desperate need of money I think customers can see the dollar signs in my eyes (like what you see on cartoons), so just try to loosen up a bit or change up your look.

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    Default Re: Strange problem

    Maybe by being too laid back you are giving guys the impression that you are more concerned about the job than having fun with them. Some guys want to lead the conversation, but a lot of them need someone to guide them along because they're shy. Sometimes I feel like I'm having a really boring conversation with someone, just because we are talking about something mundane, but at least we're talking. Many guys can't start a conversation to save their lives, in my experience.

    If a guy thinks that you're not really connecting with him, which would include having an interesting conversation, then he's probably not willing to spend the serious money on you. I would just try talking more, and leading the guy to open up a little. Talk about yourself if nothing else, to let him know a little about you.

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Helle View Post
    My friend at my club is probably one of the most beautiful girls we have but she says she suffers from the same problem--Men think she is stuck up or ditzy. She's neither. I just try to help out by acting goofy with her so maybe she'll come across as more personable. I'll be interested to read this thread and pass it along to her.
    exactly what i go through... it sucks sometimes.... I wish people wouldn't always judge a book by its cover....

  15. #15
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    You guys! This thread has been so helpful!!! Thank you so much!!! Any more ideas, keep em coming... it is really helping.

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    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    Thought from the male side -- if you are successfully getting 1 or 2 dances, then the issue seems to be how those dances are going. I would be surprised if coming across as "stuck up" would be much of an issue after you have had him for two dances. I also doubt that conversation is a big issue at that point.

    Could it be that your "laid back" approach is being interpreted as being uninterested in the guy, and just going through the motions? I suspect that most guys are looking for heavy duty attention when they are buying dances. I know that when I bail out after only one or two with a really good-looking dancer, it is usually because she goes into autopilot once the dance starts. In contrast, the ones that really intensify their focus at that point tend to make the sale.

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    Default Re: Strange problem

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckyOne View Post
    lately I keep getting guys that buy 1 or 2 dances from me, but don't want a VIP. I'm always polite and friendly, but I'm not here to pick up guys. I'm here to pay the bills... are they picking up on this vibe (that I don't necessarily want to f*ck their brains out?

    Honestly I think that they are picking up on the fact that your dances aren't going to be sexually stimulating.

    When guys only buy 1-2 dances that only means 2 things. One, their money is funny, and money goes fast in a strip club, especially in Vegas. And two, when a guy only buys one or two dances, he is "test driving" you to see how far you'll go during a dance.

    The wording of your thread leads me to believe that you probably project a superficial attitude when dealing with the guys.

    Of course you don't want to get manhandled while dancing, and don't want to have to suck and fuck for your money, but with every passing week guys more and more want a minimum of heavy grinding and touching to justify the expense of the dances. And in Vegas guys many times come there thinking contact and extras will be more prevalent.

    Many guys now who have bought VIP's in the past feel they are a waste of money since they got no better dances in VIP than on the floor.

    I don't know how much contact the majority of the other girls are allowing in your club either. I have worked in Vegas at Cheetah's and SR a while back, so I know they aren't giving air dances.

    I would say first off to look for the most outgoing dancers in the club, the ones that are always smiling, laughing and joking with the customers, the ones that seem to be able to gain instant rapport. Then watch their dances to see how they are if you have a chance. The girls who can smoothly move a guys hands away from the crotch, but allow some touching all while smiling, laughing, rubbing their hands through the guys hair and acting in a GENUINELY seductive manner can keep SOME guys buying longer.

    Some guys are too seasoned, and will hold their money back for a girl who will get them off and there is nothing you can do about that. Vegas customers are very cocky, and a much younger breed than years back, many of whom come to the club in groups, which makes them tougher sales anyway. Many have been hustled and lied too by one too many girls and are extra cautious nowadays.

  18. #18
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    Use subconsciously "inviting" clues, like licking your lips, adjusting your top, carressing your hair, smiling a lot, nodding, crossing & uncrossing your legs, making affirmative conversational cues & listening to what they say to you....These things might over-ride the preconceptions men have made about you on sight alone.

  19. #19
    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strange problem

    I don't know where you work, but I know at SR basically everyone on my shift looks like they stepped out of a magazine. And everybody's making $, so I don't think being too pretty is really an issue.

    What I think it might be is that you are coming accross as stuck up. I'm sure youre not stuck up, maybe you're just bored or whatever and it's coming accross that way. Make sure to smile and be friendly and don't act "above it all."
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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