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Thread: I'm not going anywhere...

  1. #1
    AlexxaHex
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    Default I'm not going anywhere...

    so those of you who don't seem to want me here can just tolerate my existence. The reason I say this is because it seems like I get flamed for pretty much NO reason every other thread I post in.
    Recently, I offered someone kind words of encouragement for a tough decision she has to make. I thought I was being helpful, yet 3 or 4 people jumped on my back about my use of wording and criticized me for trying to be NICE to someone. In other threads, my posts have been verbally picked apart and dissected and asked to explain myself over and over and over and over and over because some people just couldn't be bothered to understand that my intentions are good and I try very hard to not be confrontational or judgemental. I have been called names also. My views may be a little different, but so what? What would this world be like if we were all the same? I'm not trying to hurt anybody or myself so I don't see what the big problem is. I try to be a very helpful contributor here.

    Is it my avatar? Too threatening? Do you not get that it's sarcastic or does that need to be explained also?

    So I will say this once, in it's very own designated thread:
    If ANYBODY here has a problem with me or the way I think and offer my support and friendship, go right ahead and post about it here. Stop polluting and derailing other people's threads to flame me. You can do it here. Bring out all your issues with me into the open so that it can hopefully be resolved. If not, then you lose your chance. This is the one opportunity you'll have to say your piece.

    This isn't directed at just one person. It's SEVERAL of you.

  2. #2
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Despite the fact that we've had heated words in the past over my diet drug taking habits when my mind was too clouded to see how harmful and self-destructive I was being, I have always appreciated the fact that you were one of the few who could stand up and try to slap some sense into me. So count me as one who thinks that you're neato

  3. #3
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Quote Originally Posted by Darcy Foxx View Post
    count me as one who thinks that you're neato
    Aye!

  4. #4
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    HEY yo, I stopped commenting in the most part unless it was helpful in any other post than the Childfree one. I mean we didn't argue in the tea one... :/

    I'm trying to be nice. We don't see eye to eye... but no reason why we can't tolerate each other.


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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I don't have a problem with the advice you've given and I'm sorry you took it personally.

    I was just distinguishing from the advice given by women who have already had and raised children and happened to give my opinion on the matter. None of it was meant to be offensive to you.

    I've made my share of comments here that have also been misinterpreted. It's the internet. It happens.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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  6. #6
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I don't want you to go anywhere. I think you take this all too much to heart and Lord knows pregnancy hormones make it hard to be Zen. I still like you! I think on the Childless by choice thread it would have been better to bow out early and recuse yourself from sharing any judgement. That tiny sliver was like a knife to many childless by choice folks. And now I recuse myself because I'm childless by choice even though I'm psyched to have a kid when I find the right dude!

    Edited to add: Now that I've read the Lucki Charm thread on pregnancy, I think the rub is your phrasing. The whole best interests of the baby sentence probably pushed some well-worn guilt buttons. Take a moment to check your posts to see if they could be offensive or loaded in any way. It'll save you drama later.
    Last edited by Optimist; 05-29-2007 at 10:24 PM.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  7. #7
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    You do make a lot of excellent points, and I admire the fact that your no-nonsense, equalist perspectives and experiences were a strong slap in the right direction. Thank you for teaching me that Satanism is not the horrific dogma that Biblethumpers make it out to be, but rather a pragmatic set of principles.

    I also please ask you to consider this: “If you have a problem with one or two people, fine. Maybe it’s a personality conflict - it happens. But if you have a problem with a whole bunch of people and you can’t seem to get along with anyone, well, the only common denominator is YOU, and you have to look at your own behavior and what you are doing to affect your relationships with others.” You have given others some perspective in the past.

  8. #8
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    See, the thing is that I didn't think I was offering any judgement, but simply offering my personal feelings about the subject. By no means did I go in there hoping to change anybody's mind. I think people just got automatically defensive, or didn't feel like my perspective belonged there. I don't think that was a reason for people to go crazy on me.

    LM - my issue with you goes a bit beyond the flaming. I just think that our energies don't mesh well and we are in two totally different places in life. I probably shouldn't get mad at you about it, yet it seems like I will try to be friendly and then it turns sour. So I stopped trying. I think that by avoiding each other we can not have a butting-of-heads, so to speak. It is my way of cutting out drama. I actually would like to be on good terms with you but everytime I try it seems like I get nowhere or something negative comes up again.

    Darcy - You have no idea how good it makes me feel that you can recognize that I was trying to give you advice that was designed for your best interest. A lot of people don't like to hear about what is good for them when they are doing something destructive. I have been guilty of this at times too. You seem to have gained a lot of maturity and understanding about the situation and I'm in some way proud of you.

  9. #9
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    LM - my issue with you goes a bit beyond the flaming. I just think that our energies don't mesh well and we are in two totally different places in life. I probably shouldn't get mad at you about it, yet it seems like I will try to be friendly and then it turns sour. So I stopped trying. I think that by avoiding each other we can not have a butting-of-heads, so to speak. It is my way of cutting out drama. I actually would like to be on good terms with you but everytime I try it seems like I get nowhere or something negative comes up again.
    .
    Huh I feel the same when I try to be on good terms with you. Try again?


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  10. #10
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan View Post
    Huh I feel the same when I try to be on good terms with you. Try again?
    Okay.

  11. #11
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    You do make a lot of excellent points, and I admire the fact that your no-nonsense, equalist perspectives and experiences were a strong slap in the right direction. Thank you for teaching me that Satanism is not the horrific dogma that Biblethumpers make it out to be, but rather a pragmatic set of principles.

    I also please ask you to consider this: “If you have a problem with one or two people, fine. Maybe it’s a personality conflict - it happens. But if you have a problem with a whole bunch of people and you can’t seem to get along with anyone, well, the only common denominator is YOU, and you have to look at your own behavior and what you are doing to affect your relationships with others.” You have given others some perspective in the past.
    I felt as though I got along with most everybody here with a few exceptions, but have recently gained a lot of negativity and the common denominator seems to that the aggressors are people who either don't want anything to do with children or pregnant women. I would like to think that I'm not imagining this. But maybe that coupled with my Satanic aura is too offensive to some people. I really don't know, but I can honestly say that my initial posts have not been intended as antagonistic.

  12. #12
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I think the problem is that a lot of people (on both sides of the argument) took what was said in the childfree thread too personally. Despite my own choices to not have children, I have many pregnant friends or friends with kids and I don't have a problem hanging out with them, just as I don't have an issue with anyone here who has kids. I think when people take general comments as a personal offence they tend to retaliate with outwardly personal attacks, and that's when the problem starts... stuff like that can often appear to be people having a problem with someone's choices, when in reality it's just retaliation. When too many people take general comments as attacks and retaliate in defense, that's when the shit hits the proverbial fan.

  13. #13
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I think you're swell. I think we've disagreed on things but I've never felt ill or sour toward you... or toward almost anyone really.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I just got hollered at by a CUTE guy, at dusk, in my car, in gym attire and hair. Word?
    Picaresque is the shit, I loooooves her!!!

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  14. #14
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Quote Originally Posted by Roulette View Post
    I think you're swell. I think we've disagreed on things but I've never felt ill or sour toward you... or toward almost anyone really.
    ^ She said it for me! Same here!

  15. #15
    Tart
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I've never disagreed with you

    goddamnit now i feel left out!

  16. #16
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I think you're great. I haven't really had any direct run ins with you (positive or not), but I enjoy reading your posts and seeing your point of view.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  17. #17
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Quote Originally Posted by Darcy Foxx View Post
    I think when people take general comments as a personal offence they tend to retaliate with outwardly personal attacks, and that's when the problem starts...
    Very good point!!

    And just a note - I didn't post this to fish for compliments or anything but I do appreciate those who have been kind to me. Thank you.

  18. #18
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I am impressed that Alexxa has the balls to post soemthing like this, confront it and try to clear the air. I would never be able to do something like this, where people would have a chance to call me out.
    Already one relationship has been repaired, or at least a truce has been made.

    if you put all of us in 1 room together, arguments woudl break out all over the place. In real life..we all wouldn't be friends. In real life, I'm sure there are people here I would be best friends with, and others I couldnt stand to be in the same room with.So it's only natural that heads will butt on here. Its a given that some people just will not be able to get along or see eye to eye. That's fine. Can't get along with everyone. But since we are all here....thoes of us that don't get along with certain others should just put them on ignore, or avoid responding to them in threads.

    I personally think Alexxa is awesome. I only took notice of her with her Im pregnant thread. And I'll never forget reading it....She said somethign abotu yeah, Im pregnant, *glows* And Im picturing this chick, with Evil Cunt tattooed on her stomach, glowing because she is pregnant. How fuckin cool. I liked her imediatly. Then I got to know her better, and you'd think from lookin at her, she is someone you do not fuck with, scary, hardcore bitch. BUt she is actually sweet, caring and loving. But someone you still wouldnt wanna fuck with, LOL.
    From what Ive learned from reading her posts, and talkign with her.....respect her and she will respect you back. Disagree with her, but do it respectfully, and there will be no problem. Same thing anyone of us woudl ask for.

  19. #19
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...



    Seriously tho' .. even tho' I am a stubborn bitch sometimes myself (hey I am the first to admit I'm as fucked up as the rest of the world and far from perfect)... and refuse to listen to others... I do eventually... and welcome the comments etc.

    This forum helped me greatly (as well as one other forum) thru my grief in re Bibs.

    So that means thank you to you too Alexxa to being part of the forum.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  20. #20
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylinn View Post
    I am impressed that Alexxa has the balls to post soemthing like this, confront it and try to clear the air. I would never be able to do something like this, where people would have a chance to call me out.
    Everyone should post what they want to with in reason. This thread is just that.

    I think Alexxa contributes alot here. You better not go anywhere either. Besides, I like that balls-out-smack-you-in-the-face-with-them attitude you got. When youre finished with this thread you can spank me.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
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    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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  21. #21
    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Alexxa, I've always enjoyed and appreciated your perspectives. I tend to be oblivious to a lot of the group dynamics here, so I honestly hadn't noticed anything but the Childfree thread, but I just wanted to weigh in with a You Rock.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  22. #22
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I don't have a problem with you at all nor do I want you to leave this forum.

    I think the childfree thread got way out of hand and I was definately a part of that due to my own personal conflicts going on at the moment.

    I have also been guilty of taking things to personally on this forum lately - the something's in the water thread - I decided I would try to be calm before I posted even if someone had written something that I found offensive (with the exception of troll invasions).


  23. #23
    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    Alexxa-I for one think you are one cool ass mofo. I love your posts, your view on life and your no-nonsense attitude. You say what you think, and don't sugar-coat things at all. That is a very admirable quality to have. I would much rather have someone tell me the truth than b.s. me to keep from 'hurting my feelings', yanno? You'd better stay around biatch, or you'll get a much needed spanking from moi.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    I went through a phase similiar to yours on here. It seemed like everyone was flaming me when I was going through a hard time and I was posting some of my problems. I think some folks are just extremely opinionated and argumentative, they'll argue about whether it's day or night. Then others, hide behind objects whether it be an automobile or a computer screen and agress on anybody they can disturb. Some folks just don't deserve to even be engaged in any conversation at all. I have personally never found anything you said to be offensive. I don't think there is anything wrong with expressing yourself as long as you don't do so at the expense of others.

  25. #25
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not going anywhere...

    You better not go anywhere. We you.

    Okay - well, really I have to admit, I only want you around cause I know your baby is going to be abnormally hot...and I wanna see....so at least wait till we get some pictures, eh?

    And yeah - - - I'm like terrified of sw right now. I'm seriously like double checking everything I post and wanting to delete it immediately after because its the ultimate goal of a few girls on here to prove everybody wrong, or ruin their day, or try to make them feel stupid....and yeah. That's not what we are about, right?

    Bleh. Like cally said, somethins in the water.

    But keep rockin' Alexxa. You got more lovers than haters 'round here.

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