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Thread: Overheard in the Dressing Room

  1. #251
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Some girl was walking around the dressing room last night asking everyone about these pills she had found on a table. She was obviously interested in taking them, but wanted to know what they were first. One dancer looked at them and said for her to throw them away, and then took a closer look. "Bitch, those are my tic-tacs!!" Apparently they spilled out of her stripper-box thingy and she hadn't cleaned them all up. This made me feel sad and entertained at the same time.

  2. #252
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    While prettifying myself at the mirror, girl digs in her bag and whips out her cell phone, punches in a number, and calls.

    Stealth-Stripper (me!): *powders nose*
    Chick: Mom, it's me. Could you do me a favor?
    SS: *pause*
    C: Yeah, I'm down at the club and I really don't think I can work sober tonight.
    SS: ...
    C: Could you bring me something? Like (cheap-shit rum brand)?
    SS: *jaw drop*
    C: ...awww thanks, Mom! Just give it to (another girl) because my stage set is next.


    --------

    Chick2: *stomps in, very pissed, and kicks a locker* That stupid motherfucker. I made him come too quick. He fucking came and won't buy another Champagne Room.

    --------

    Chick (from scene 1): Wow, I'm surprised I'm actually here! I called (manager) a 'fucking Jew-cunt' but he called me in tonight! He must like me.

  3. #253
    Veteran Member LilMissSophie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    I was fixing my makeup when...

    dancer says: Hey gurl, are these your babywipes?
    me: No.
    dancer: I don't even care, I gotta shit.
    me: Okay...

    she proceeds to drop a few bombs while exiting the dressing room

  4. #254
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Girl: OMG I feel so bad! I got my customer hooked on coke!
    Me: Oh... you do coke? *thinking that this is a really bad conversation to be in*
    Girl: NO! I'd never get it for him! I never got it for him!
    Me: Ok
    Girl: I never got it for him! It's because he loves me too much! He started doing it because i hurt him.
    Me: Well, he's a grown man... dont' feel too bad.
    Girl: No, it's because I hurt him! I need to call him!
    Me: Ok
    Girl: Don't ever do coke! Do you see the girls here doing it?
    Me: No
    Girl: I walk in on them all the time and then they offer it and then I HAVE to do it. I don't do it a lot but you know... I never buy it... but I'll do it...
    Me: Yea *edges towards door*
    Girl: Men are so hard to date in this business
    Me: Yeeeaaaaa *sneaks out*
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  5. #255
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Ditry extras girl walks in the dressing room: "Man! I am getting a workout tonight!"

    Fiesty pissed off girl: "Working out what, your fore arms?"

    Extras girl: "Do you want me to slap you?"

    Pissed off girl: "And get strange penis on my face? No thanks!"

    I had to leave the DR I was laughing so hard!




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  7. #256
    Veteran Member hearts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"

  8. #257
    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by hearts View Post
    One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
    LMAO! Hell, I'm 20 and know who David Bowie is. Obviously she hadn't seen The Labyrinth

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Lysondra, can I taste your Abortion?
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    BalletBaby + Alice in Chains >>> Pie.

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  10. #258
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    The fucking people we work with man LOL
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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  12. #259
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    gawd damn. didnt know bowie? isnt that down in the bible between murder and heresy?

  13. #260
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by hearts View Post
    One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
    haha I'm 19 too...but I'm not that silly...


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    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  14. #261
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by hearts View Post
    "Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"

  15. #262
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Pissed off girl: "And get strange penis on my face? No thanks!"
    Now THERE'S somebody who's brain does what it's supposed to--think funny stuff AT THE TIME and SAY IT! Instead of the usual 15 minutes later routine... Man I wish I was her.

    Hearts you should have told her it was David BAU-ie ala Avril Lavigne...she'd be sure to repeat it out loud at least once to somebody...

  16. #263
    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by hearts View Post
    One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"

    He'd probably be flattered.
    ED E’ SUBITO SERA

    Ognuno sta solo sul cuor della terra
    trafitto da un raggio di sole:
    ed č subito sera

    --Salvatore Quasimodo--

    =============================

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  18. #264
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Classic exchanges I recall from long ago:

    Young Stripper: I want liposuction, but what if I pay all that money, and there's still some fat around I don't like?

    Older Stripper: Have them suck it ALL out and just gorge your way back. That way you only have to pay once.

    (she was dead serious, and her own body was so overly lipo-ed that her flesh just glided and slipped around her body like a loosely fitting, creepy skin suit)

    *******************************

    Stripper having her first drink of the night: "Wow, the ice is much colder today than yesterday!"

    Err... huh???

    ********************************

    Overheard coming out of bathroom stall:

    Very young stripper: Owwwww! How do you put in these tampons???

    What followed was a six way conversation involving every other stripper in the room, yelling out instructions along the following lines:

    "It's like fucking -- pretend it's a dick, but you leave this one in!"

    (at which point we found out that Young Stripper was a virgin and knew nothing about getting a tampon OR a dick into herself)

    "Angle it!"

    "Point it to your assbone and up!"

    "Squat and push!"

    "Put one leg up on the toilet seat"

    and on and on, with girl after girl yelling in her advice -- the whole while the poor girl is practically in tears, howling in pain and continually asking for new tampons under the door to attempt the process yet AGAIN. One dancer even offered to come in the stall and insert the damned thing FOR her! (she refused)

    What finally worked was when I actually DREW a cross-section view of female anatomy out on a bar napkin, complete with markings for "ass/back of body" and "front/vagina" to orient her, along with arrows and trajectory for the insertion, and passed it under the bathroom door for her to examine, along with yet another fresh tampon for yet another try.

    That did the trick -- she finally got it in and was overjoyed and amazed. The rest of us were pretty amazed too. I mean, wow. Whodda thunk that a chick would know so little about what her body is like. She had NO clue what the inside of a vagina was structured like, none whatsoever. Never thought of using a tampon until she had to work on a night when her period came. How the hell did a virgin with no clue about her own body ever become a stripper, anyhow?? Just wow.

    *******************************

    Oh, and this one, I almost forgot:

    Stripper #1 to Stripper #2: What is that accent of yours?

    Stripper #2: Polish.

    Stripper #1: You speak Polish? Wow, that must be a hard language to learn!

    Stripper #2, deadpanning: Yes, that's why I left Poland. It's too difficult to speak the national language. Even when some can speak it, they can't read it, it's just that difficult. We have a hard time communicating in my country because of that.

    Stripper #1: Oh, wow, that must be why Polish immigrate here, huh? Why don't they just choose an easier national language? Then the Polish wouldn't have to leave, right?

    I had to leave the room.
    Last edited by RedHairedGirl; 08-25-2007 at 11:10 PM.

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  20. #265
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    ^^omfg!! That's better than any Polish jokes...well of course she was being sarcastic right?!?!?!?! That's hysterical.

    The tampon one has me in pain from laughing so hard....

    Oh and great avatar

  21. #266
    Member RedHairedGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    ^^omfg!! That's better than any Polish jokes...well of course she was being sarcastic right?!?!?!?! That's hysterical.
    Oh, yeah, Polish girl was totally being sarcastic. She thought that the first girl would catch on that it was stupid to ask someone WITH a Polish accent if Polish was hard to learn -- duh, she was born there, it's her native tongue. When Stripper #2 replied like she did, the Polish girl was just stunned into silence, looked at me, and I just had to leave the room and not make eye contact with anyone to keep from making a truly scathing remark while laughing my ass off.

    The tampon one has me in pain from laughing so hard....
    God, it had us all in stitches even as it was happening, even as the poor girl was howling in pain and confusion. I mean, how couldn't you? We weren't mean about it, but it went on for about twenty minutes or more, and the more she asked for a new tampon, the more we all cracked up. After she came out, there were like five tampons in the can, all bent and misshapen -- I can only IMAGINE what angle she was trying to push them in at -- it seemed like some were flat out bent in half, like she tried to put them in side-wise or something. Just bizarre!

    It was like trying to communicate a difficult calculus equation to her. She just didn't understand what the physics of the situation was at all. In the end, she took it all in stride, and laughed along with us after being embarrassed and shy for a little -- she really is a sweetie pie and was basically just super naive and young.

    Oh and great avatar
    Thanks! Got it from an Aussie guy friend.

  22. #267
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    LOL! i love the polish accent one!

  23. #268
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    As I was walking by the dressing room to the little girl's room, I heard this gem:

    Stripper: "And that wasn't the first time I lost my panties while bull-riding."

  24. #269
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Here's another good one. A bunch of us were in the dressing room one night and this newbie comes in bitching up a storm that she didn't make that much money this night and how she made all this money at the other club she had just left .She must have gone on for at least 20 minutes. After all of us were sick of hearing it I finally couldn't bite my tongue any longer and I said "Then why are you here? And why did you leave the other club, Go Back!" She stood there going "Aaaa, Aaaa Aaaa, I aaa aaa turned around and walked out. It got quiet for about 30 seconds then we all busted up laughing I nearly peed my pants!

  25. #270
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    I knew a girl a looonng looonng time ago who thought you got pregnant from kissing! So she did Everything else! After 6 months she was pregnant and couldn't figure out how??!!

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  27. #271
    Senior Member kelster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Cracked Out Girl on Phone

    Girl:Ya I meet you there at my house or whatever sure...
    *Pause on phone*
    Girl: Aw shit I got my little girl shit...fuck we just go in the next room then I gotta make my money. You gotsta be quite though shit...


    Her pimp and her often had conversations where the solution was always putting her child in the father room....she got beat up and fired before I could call child services damn it!

  28. #272
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    the secret to making fifty grand in Hollywood is to go during Christmas.
    Which club? Jumbo's?

  29. #273
    Tart
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    ^^omfg!! That's better than any Polish jokes...well of course she was being sarcastic right?!?!?!?! That's hysterical.

    The tampon one has me in pain from laughing so hard....

    Oh and great avatar
    Um yah. Polish girl here <---- polish jokes are racist and NOT fucking funny . thank you

  30. #274
    Tart
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Which club? Jumbo's?
    YOu know when I went in there I didn't drop a ton but we got 5 or 6 dances and then the girl up and left. said it was her best night ever.


    totally weird

  31. #275
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Don't take it personal its been all in jest and just about every nationality has made it in somewhere in this topic.And I'm sure there are different nationalities viewing these and no one seems to mind. In this wacked out world ya got to be able to laugh even at yourself. Nothing personal has been said because, Only children attack personally.



    Quote Originally Posted by Tart View Post
    Um yah. Polish girl here <---- polish jokes are racist and NOT fucking funny . thank you

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