








Man, I have read some funny stories on here, I can think of 2 that make this but they aren't as funny as some I have read.
First story, me and another dancer were sitting on the floor by the mirror getting ready, this other dancer comes in and starts talking about her period and being on it at work and blah blah, well the house mom left for a minute and she takes her chair, grabs some baby wipes, sits down and takes out her tampon right there, cleans herself and puts in another tampon, me and the other dancer were both grossed out were like wtfwas she too lazy to go to the bathroom or something, just nasty, we warned everyone about the chair.
Other story, I was working at a club with some coked out obnoxious girls and I was just sitting there getting ready minding my business, these girls were talking about all kinds of crazy shit, I can't remember but they thought it was funny. Coked out dancer says you bitches need to shut up cause you got me laughing so hard i'm gonna spit my teeth outThe girl that said said that couldn't have been older than 25 and she was a decent looking girl, just she must have done so many drugs.
At the beginning of a shift...
"Oh good, here's my money from last night (she had left it in her makeup bag).... oh, gross, it's still all crusty...."
I've never wanted to bother to figure out why her money was crusty. Yikes.
^^^ Maybe from spilled makeup, since it was in her makeup bag? I know the inside of my makeup bag can get pretty funky.




still all crusty?
ED E’ SUBITO SERA
Ognuno sta solo sul cuor della terra
trafitto da un raggio di sole:
ed è subito sera
--Salvatore Quasimodo--
=============================
I.Breathe.In: Your cartoon made my night. I laughed so hard. I need to get that on my myspace or something.





Overheard in VIP, not DR. But this way hot girl was telling her customer that her labia hang ridiculously low. She has a HOT body and she's really pretty. We work in a topless club, not nude, and idk how this came up. But for the next hour I couldn't think of anything but the hottest girl in my club discussing her flabby labia with a customer![]()
*singing softly* "whe---en your clit hangs low...."
Girl #1: My man is pissing me OFF lately!
Girl #2: Girl, I feel you. I been havin some crazy ass luck myself. Ha. The other nite, I was talking to this guy, from here, and he had an Australian accent.
#1: oooooooooo! yea girl.
#2: so then I go home with him--and he's not Australian any more!
#1: That's so crazy!! Men are so stupid!! (turning to me) have you ever gone home with someone from here?
me: You crazy?
A one-sided phone convo I heard while getting ready last week:
"...So, I'm butt naked, leaning over puking into the harbor and he comes up behind me, grabs my hair and starts fucking me doggy style!....I know, right?....he said he thought an orgasm would make me feel better. But you know what? IT TOTALLY DID! It actually worked."





I was working with a girl on dayshift today who was talking to one of her customers--she then proceeded to sift around in her underwear, grabbed a napkin from the bar, wiped her asscrack with said napkin, looked at it ... then she SNIFFED it. My mouth dropped to the floor as I watched in horror. She just giggled and kept talking to her customer. He still ended up doing an hour room with her!WTF
Unfortunately, it was like double cringe--I knew exactly who she was talking about! He was this dorky guy who was trying to maintain talking in some weird mix of scottish, Irish, ghetto England accent---I immediately called him on it (oh yr soooo cute) and though he maintained it for a lil longer, he wound up getting several dances because I was so Jersey Fresh and "clever".This guy was reallllll serious about trickin some hoe's. Unfortunately, he did! (she described him to the other girl and it was same nite that's how I knew!) Freakin ludicrous!
^^^Egads!!!!! Sounds like her mommy didn't go over proper potty time procedures. Who does something like that??? I can honestly say that I have NEVER felt the urge to take a whiff of my own ass....ever......![]()
And in front of somebody else....at work no less!!!!
Stripping was my Mr. Big....the best bad relationship I ever had.
^^^Oh, come on! We all go on and on about the importance of hygiene, and what do we do when we find someone who takes an above-average interest in it?
Righteously mock her! OMFG!
What I want to know is: what was going through the customer's mind that made him say: "OK, well, that's not so bad. I'll get my dances from her!"
She is the dirtiest girl I've EVER met![]()
Oh my holy craptasticness.....above-average interest? Yeah, I'll say that is above-average interest, unhinged is what that chick is....oh jeebus, I can't quit laughing about that one.
Stripping was my Mr. Big....the best bad relationship I ever had.
Dancer A: (laughing) I just spit vodka and some went in my eye! That stings like a bitch!
Me: As bad as getting cum in the eye?
Dancer A: Not that bad, but nothing hurts worse than getting coke(caine) in the eye. That hurts so bad. But it'll get you high as hell. Do you want to try it?
I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily








Speaking of coke - I walked into the bathroom to do my girly business, pushed the door open and some bitch was snorting lines off the toilet seat. EW! She had the brass ones to look up at me and go.. " want some?"
Gag.
what is with the toilet seat business???? there's toilet lids, toilet paper holders....hands, wtf.





So tonight this girl was going on and on about how she got this new dog and she has to beat the shit out of it every day to make it respect her and blah blah blah beating the shit out of the dog, which her boyfriend would be doing for her, but he's in jail for beating her. THEN she starts bitching that her babies daddy, who has full custody, won't let her have the kids anymore just because her boyfriend beats her sometimes ("god, what does he think that just cause johnny hits me when we fight he's gonna hurt little kids?!") and she drives drunk a lot and lost her licence and drives around with no license now.
And everyone in the dressing room is agreeing with her! Like, yeah, can't imagine why he wouldn't want the kids riding around with you driving drunk and beating the dog while your boyfriend beats you!
Then she goes on to say that he's playing head games with her because he told her that the kids miss her and wish she'd call. So she told him if the kids mentioned her he should call so they can talk to her, but he said she was so inconsistant that he didn't want to do that to them. Makes sense to me, but she's like, "well I get up and I come to work and I don't think about my kids while I'm at work cause I'm thinking about working and getting drunk, and then they're asleep. How hard would it be for him to pick up the phone and call me if the kids miss me?"
She goes on to say that she's going to court soon to try to get custody of them.
And STILL, everyone's like, "ooh girl, that judge's gonna set him straight, everyone knows strippers are the best moms cause we work when our kids are asleep an we make lots of money."
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