^^ oh wow. That's sad.





So a girl at our club got canned last night for doing dirty dances and buying coke.
She's in the dressing room, refusing to change and leave. So she calls 911.
"Yes I need an officer at Bubbles Adult Nightclub please. Yes Bubbles. Because my boss fired me and wont tell me why. I think it's cause I'm the only one who made money tonight. No, I just want an officer to come and make him tell me why I'm fired."
(insert a pause where the dispatcher probably told her that this was no reason for a 911 call)
"Are you giving me a fucking attitude? Let me fucking talk to someone else then!"
(I think she got hung up on....)
So she's all flipping out and getting dressed and she leaves.
I lawled.
Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
*******************************
Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."
Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."




^ holy crap





Dancer comes flying past me into one of the bathroom stalls.
Dancer: Buddy man, can you turn on the water?
Me: ?
Dancer: Turn on the fucking tap! I'm taking a shit!
Me: Uh...
Dancer: Just fucking do it! *while in stall*
Me: *turns on water and quietly backs out of bathroom*
I never did find out what the story was with that one.
\





^^^ she was just self-conscious about how taking a shit sounds.
An 18 year old girl at my club, H., thinks she is pregnant. This was on Tuesday night..
H: Guys, I can't be drinking tonight (as she smokes a cigarette)
Other girls: Why not?
H: I think I'm pregnant (takes another puff of cigarette) and I don't want to risk the baby's health.
Another dancer, R.: Dude, you can smoke weed and stuff while you're pregnant too, the dr. will tell you to stop 2 months before you give birth so your kids don't get taken away
H: Really? Good, because I like to get fucked up
R: Yeah, I smoked up until 2 months before I gave birth and my kids are fine!
Fast forward a few hours............................. I'm taking a quick makeup fix break in the DR and talking to the chick sitting beside me.
H comes running past us with a pregnancy test telling us that some girl just had an extra one with her so she's going to go take it.
A few minutes later..
H: Guys, my pussy smells funny. I was sitting there peeing and I could just smell it. I almost gagged. I've got to be pregnant!
**Fortunately, the pregnancy test came out negative but since her pussy smells funny she still swears up and down she is pregnant. I told her to wash in the shower a little better next time.![]()





^^^^ rofl! Scary.





I have the same problem.
And not to be a stickler but the nickname was "shit break" not "brick"... because he always had to take a break from school to shit.
<3 (don't kill me!)
Btw, this thread is hilarious. I'm going to pay closer attention in the DR and post some gems when I find them.
Last night in the club a dancer was complaining about sore ribs and asking if anyone had pain killers, when someone asked her what was wrong with her she replied,
-"I was arguing with my boyfriend last night and he beat me up."
"Shouldn't you be in hospital??"
-"Yeah thats what the doctor told me but I had to come to work coz I need the cash, I'll go tomorrow. I tell ya, if he's broken my ribs I'm definately leavin hm this time."



^^^^ WTF!!?? How could she work with broken ribs?? I slipped & fell into the edge of a table a few months ago & couldn't work for 3 weeks. I could barely move, let alone dance & act sexy. She doesn't need to go to the doctor though. They can't do anything. Unless she's having trouble breathing (like one of the broken ribs pierced a lung.)
I'll never understand why some girls stay with guys who hit them.
Sorry to threadjack.
The sad thing is that I've heard variations of this story more often than I can count. I hate that about this industry, so many women out there being controlled by a lazy, no good, abusive motherfucker. He probably doesn't even work and sends her out to make money after he's beaten the shit out of her.
I wish guys like that would get hit by a bus--repeatedly.

I've just heard these girls at a club going on about how they love to eat p*ssy. It was really vulgar




What's vulgar about eating pussy? Or were they putting it in a nasty way?
Gem from tonight:
Manager: Hey there, haven't seen you in a while. How are you?
Dancer: My mom just died, so yeah, I have to go down for the funeral tomorrow. BUT, I just found money in my pocket!!
Dancer 1: Can anyone get any opium? This guy will only take me for a dance if I can get him some opium... anyone.. *looks at me*
Me: Ah no.. not unless it's 1890 and nobody told me.
Dancer 2: What's opium?
Dancer 3: It's perfume.. you know your mum probably wears it.
Dancer 2: Oh I get it.
The world's most uncoordinated stripper




So dancer A is talking about some celebrity...
Dancer A: So she went on a strict vegan diet to like cleanse her body and stuff.
B: What the hell is vegan?
A: It's just a stricter form of vegetarian. They like live on vegetables, and eggs... and fish, too. Some vegans eat fish.
Me: *trying as hard as possible to keep my mouth shut*![]()
I walked in on two girls doing lines . one was like "oh my god!" then the other said "dont owrry she's cool she wont tell- the other night I made more money selling this stuff in here than dancing"
ugh.....maybe if you spent more time dancing...then sniffing.... this sorta stuff makes me sad![]()
Not to be a stickler, but I love opium! Just mentioning it because of the 1890 comment
Okay, end of threadjack!
People still do opium?




^^ Yep, although I think it is more of a novelty type thing.
Ok, overheard this girl not too long ago asking this as a genuine question,
"I'm trying to grow my hair but it just doesn't seem to be growing, by the way, does your hair grow from the roots or from the ends??"
Okay so I didn't overhear this one, but someone overheard me say it, and I realized it sounded pretty hilarious.
So this other dancer and I were standing side-by-side in the dressing room as I was making a call to the bf to check in and talk about the day so far. Here's what my convo sounded like:
"Hi babe! I've made 140 so far..... yeah, sucks I know..... I'll call you when I make another hundred! Haha it used to be I'd call you every 200, too bad it's been slow..... okay, talk to you soon, bye!!"
The chick next to me turns to me and asks, "Was that your boyfriend?"
I say yes, even though it's not really her business.
"And he has you call him?"
I say, "No, I just like talking to him."
"But... you call him when you make money?"
"Yeah!" I say.
She IMO was stepping a bit over the nosy line, but I cracked up a couple minutes after that because it totally sounded like I have a pimp. :3
"Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
"And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion
Originally Posted by Mia M
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