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Thread: Overheard in the Dressing Room

  1. #1276
    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Fionaver View Post
    Alright, ok, I'm sure it'll sound bitter. And I'm sure it sounds horrible for me to say this (as a dancer who's been around for a WHILE) but really, I mean, really. Go on birth control and start reporting your fucking income. I mean, I do. And I made just over 26,000 last year WITH two other jobs. Maybe I sound bitter, but if you can blow 20,000 a month on food stamps then I don't really wanna hear it from you.

    (I know that this probably comes off offensive to some people and I'm sorry if that's you. PM me though; let's keep things civilized for everyone else.)
    That's not offensive at all. I'll take it one step farther: Anyone who can blow 20,000 in a month "playing" and receives food stamps is a piece of fucking shit leech on society and I sincerely hope they die of crotch rot.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Fionaver View Post
    Alright, ok, I'm sure it'll sound bitter. And I'm sure it sounds horrible for me to say this (as a dancer who's been around for a WHILE) but really, I mean, really. Go on birth control and start reporting your fucking income. I mean, I do. And I made just over 26,000 last year WITH two other jobs. Maybe I sound bitter, but if you can blow 20,000 a month on food stamps then I don't really wanna hear it from you.

    (I know that this probably comes off offensive to some people and I'm sorry if that's you. PM me though; let's keep things civilized for everyone else.)
    um, how is this offensive? either the chick was full of shit or she has fucking issues.... oh, i know! how about both! if you're making 20k a month, why the FUCK are you on food stamps. this makes me sick. my first roommate tried to pull this shit, and go figure.... i was too 'uptight' for her, and a 'total bitch' so she moved out.

    i would have tried to get this girls real name and address and turned her into fraud. I grew up on food stamps, and my mom was working 3 jobs while trying to support myself and my severely disabled sister - she was struggling to just keep a roof over our heads. so yes, i have a BIG issue with welfare fraud.

    ugh this makes me so MAD when people pull shit like this.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    That's not offensive at all. I'll take it one step farther: Anyone who can blow 20,000 in a month "playing" and receives food stamps is a piece of fucking shit leech on society and I sincerely hope they die of crotch rot.
    Indeed. It's one thing to get gov't assistance when you can't take care of your kids. It's another to be a dumbass with money and brag about the gov't taking care of you.

    People like this are the reason so many people see people on wellfare as freeloading assholes. These are the people that get noticed.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Friday night there was a girl in my club worried that someone was going to turn her in for welfare fraud. I wish I had her full name because I would be the one to turn people in for that crap. Oh yeah she has no kids, works 5 days a week but is just greedy.
    Alexis



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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    On a lighter note, here is something that sadly everyone in the club heard one night a few weeks ago. I work in an extremely loud club so you have to talk pretty loud unless your right in someones ear. I was dancing for a guy in the couch room and told him he smelled good. He responds you smell good. I moved back on his lap and right as the music cuts out he yells "I CAN SMELL YOU FROM HERE!!!". Then the music picks back up. Oh my good we both cracked up and looked mortified. He was like, "I am sooooo sorry."

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by pogocat View Post
    On a lighter note, here is something that sadly everyone in the club heard one night a few weeks ago. I work in an extremely loud club so you have to talk pretty loud unless your right in someones ear. I was dancing for a guy in the couch room and told him he smelled good. He responds you smell good. I moved back on his lap and right as the music cuts out he yells "I CAN SMELL YOU FROM HERE!!!". Then the music picks back up. Oh my good we both cracked up and looked mortified. He was like, "I am sooooo sorry."
    Bahaha, I've totally had this happen, but we were talking about super-weird shit. I think it involved animal dissection or something

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by PookaShell View Post
    Dancer A: "Do you think you could get a refund on condoms?"

    Dancer B: "Why the hell do you want to return condoms? Was one broken or something?"

    Dancer A: "No, *managers name* is gonna be working all weekend, so I can't use em' and I could use that 15 bucks."

    Me:
    EWEW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW
    *Shudder*

    i've heard dumber shit from customers than dancers.
    but i do have some gems

    i'm touching up my makeup while two busted townie dancers
    are snacking on crackers and cheeze whiz

    blonde dancer: i normally don't eat cheeze whiz b/c
    it goes straight to fat under your eyes
    other dancer pauses and looks at me (the 'smart' dancer) for confirmation*
    i firmly shake my head

    okay the body can't recognize food as specific kinds
    and places it in certain parts
    AND THERE IS NOT FAT UNDER YOUR EYES

    blonde dancer: oh! it's low in carbs
    me:it's cheese. why wouldn't it be low?
    blonde dancer: ya but it's processed

    omfg all cheese is PROCESSED
    it doesn't happen naturally
    it's not like oh la la lemme pick cheese from the bush today!

    --------
    "you can get STDs from your tampon"
    no, no you can't. unless you share tampons

    -------
    and my favorite joke about dancers:

    "so do you ever think that when they come home
    from a long shift and get ready to climb into bed
    they take their clothes off and say
    ' argh MORE work!'

    LMAO
    Last edited by beautifuleve; 08-07-2009 at 05:25 PM.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    ^^The cheese comment totally made me die a little. But I'm a total cheese nerd, so that just reflects REALLY poorly on my lack of coolness

    I like the last joke

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by beautifuleve View Post
    omfg all cheese is PROCESSED
    it doesn't happen naturally
    it's not like oh la la lemme pick cheese from the bush today!
    This might be the funniest thing I've ever read on here. Seriously can't stop laughing.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    "you cant get pregnant if you dont orgasm during sex"

    Nice to see Sex Ed at work!
    Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
    you just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    "...and I'm a lesbian, so I don't even like guys rubbing all over me."

    riiiiight, like us straight girls just looooove all those nasty men rubbing all over us
    Never do for free what you can get paid to do

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Having a History conversation with the newish kitchen guy:

    I was talking about the bunkers Winston Churchill had built under London for evacuating government members during air raids.

    The kitchen guy goes, "Yeah, I read a book about Winston Churchill. He was like this bad alcoholic that kept fucking things up for George Washington during the American Revolution."

    He was dead serious...

    I was like, "Um, the American Revolution?"

    He's like, "Yeah! You've never studied him, huh?"

    I said, "Well, yeah, but you're close to 200 years off with the dates. He was the British Prime Minister during World War II."

    He's like, "Oh, yeah, one of those wars."

    Cause...you know...not much difference between the American Revolution and World War II.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Oh, and the weird kitchen guy also believed that Winston Churchill's speeches had all been written by the guy who wrote Winnie the Pooh (A. A. Milne, though he didn't know the name). I was like, where the hell did you get that idea? And I eventually realized that he was quoting the Robin Williams Live on Broadway performance where he made a joke about that--thought the joke wasn't about A. A. Milne, it was about the narrator for the original Winnie-the-Pooh cartoons. And this guy thought it was real.

    All during the American Revolution, of course.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Toblerone View Post
    One of the craziest girls at my club (who I love) randomly found a hand towel in her car that had a hole in it that was, for lack of a better term, perfectly dick shaped.
    She was leaving early with another girl, so while she waited for her she was dancing around the DR with the towel over her crotch singing "sex towelllll sex towellll you protect me from hiv sex towellll i fuck the customers through my sex towellllll sex towellll you prevent all STDs sex towelllll" in this weird monotone voice.
    Her friend left to go up on stage and she runs out AT TOP SPEED barefoot and topless, wearing only pyjama bottoms with alien cows on them, tits bouncing everywhere and yelling at the TOP OF HER LUNGS "NO NO NO YOU FORGOT THE SEX TOWEL NO NO WAIT."
    there's a pause, and the other girl in the dressing room, really young and kind of dirty, turns to me and asks really quietly "um... does that towel really prevent AIDS?"
    AHAHAHAH. Can I trade coworkers with you? PLEEEEEASE?
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by beautifuleve View Post
    AND THERE IS NOT FAT UNDER YOUR EYES
    Actually. Yus there is... There's a little pad of fat under your eyes... and of course, a cosmetic procedure to remove it. Lower blepharoplasty.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    -------
    Last edited by Athenathefabulous; 02-26-2011 at 10:05 AM.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Toblerone View Post
    One of the craziest girls at my club (who I love) randomly found a hand towel in her car that had a hole in it that was, for lack of a better term, perfectly dick shaped.
    She was leaving early with another girl, so while she waited for her she was dancing around the DR with the towel over her crotch singing "sex towelllll sex towellll you protect me from hiv sex towellll i fuck the customers through my sex towellllll sex towellll you prevent all STDs sex towelllll" in this weird monotone voice.
    Her friend left to go up on stage and she runs out AT TOP SPEED barefoot and topless, wearing only pyjama bottoms with alien cows on them, tits bouncing everywhere and yelling at the TOP OF HER LUNGS "NO NO NO YOU FORGOT THE SEX TOWEL NO NO WAIT."
    there's a pause, and the other girl in the dressing room, really young and kind of dirty, turns to me and asks really quietly "um... does that towel really prevent AIDS?"
    There's so a girl in my club who would ask the same exact fucking question... that's so sad.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Gia2608 View Post
    Hahahaha, I had a bf when I was a teenager that thought girls peed from their asshole.

    The Booby Trap!!! I worked there too and witnessed the same (although that's where managment draws the line). I thought that place was terrible until I read the thread about Dives.
    Hah, I worked there for 2 nights as a bartender a couple years back. Kinda sketchy place

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    not overheard as such but a couple of girls in my new club have had a falling out, its been going on some weeks apparently (believe me I am steering well clear of all this bitchy shit) and came to a head last night when one of them rammed her fingers down her throat and made herself sick into the other ones bag all over her street clothes, make-up etc. All was caught on the DR CCTV and vomit girl got sacked but I have to ask..............WTF?!

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Faye449 View Post
    not overheard as such but a couple of girls in my new club have had a falling out, its been going on some weeks apparently (believe me I am steering well clear of all this bitchy shit) and came to a head last night when one of them rammed her fingers down her throat and made herself sick into the other ones bag all over her street clothes, make-up etc. All was caught on the DR CCTV and vomit girl got sacked but I have to ask..............WTF?!
    Oh WTF. That's disgusting. That's like something out of a Japanese horror movie dude. Oh man.



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    Him: "Girl, don't wear that top, it makes your titties look lethargic."
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    Him: "Honey, we got lots of lethargic titties in here."

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Oh WTF. That's disgusting. That's like something out of a Japanese horror movie dude. Oh man.
    HA! "Audition"?

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    LETHARGIC TITTIES....Awesome.
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
    Either Peace Or War

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by justifymylove View Post
    ha! "audition"?
    yes!

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Faye449 View Post
    not overheard as such but a couple of girls in my new club have had a falling out, its been going on some weeks apparently (believe me I am steering well clear of all this bitchy shit) and came to a head last night when one of them rammed her fingers down her throat and made herself sick into the other ones bag all over her street clothes, make-up etc. All was caught on the DR CCTV and vomit girl got sacked but I have to ask..............WTF?!
    This is amazing. I love this.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Veteran Member mia_fey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    I heard this last night as a customer but it was said by a dancer to my friend who was also there.

    Friend: You know you're really cute.
    Dancer: Yeah I like you, I really do. But I have to go do something really disgusting...
    Friend: And what would that be?
    Dancer: This guy is paying me for 15 dances to eat a girl's used tampon.
    Friend: Really? How much does that run?
    Dancer: About $300.
    Friend: Wow! I like you. Come talk to me later.
    Me: :-/

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