



um, how is this offensive? either the chick was full of shit or she has fucking issues.... oh, i know! how about both! if you're making 20k a month, why the FUCK are you on food stamps. this makes me sick. my first roommate tried to pull this shit, and go figure.... i was too 'uptight' for her, and a 'total bitch' so she moved out.
i would have tried to get this girls real name and address and turned her into fraud. I grew up on food stamps, and my mom was working 3 jobs while trying to support myself and my severely disabled sister - she was struggling to just keep a roof over our heads. so yes, i have a BIG issue with welfare fraud.
ugh this makes me so MAD when people pull shit like this.
Indeed. It's one thing to get gov't assistance when you can't take care of your kids. It's another to be a dumbass with money and brag about the gov't taking care of you.
People like this are the reason so many people see people on wellfare as freeloading assholes. These are the people that get noticed.![]()
Friday night there was a girl in my club worried that someone was going to turn her in for welfare fraud. I wish I had her full name because I would be the one to turn people in for that crap. Oh yeah she has no kids, works 5 days a week but is just greedy.
Alexis


On a lighter note, here is something that sadly everyone in the club heard one night a few weeks ago. I work in an extremely loud club so you have to talk pretty loud unless your right in someones ear. I was dancing for a guy in the couch room and told him he smelled good. He responds you smell good. I moved back on his lap and right as the music cuts out he yells "I CAN SMELL YOU FROM HERE!!!". Then the music picks back up. Oh my good we both cracked up and looked mortified. He was like, "I am sooooo sorry."

EWEW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW
*Shudder*
i've heard dumber shit from customers than dancers.
but i do have some gems
i'm touching up my makeup while two busted townie dancers
are snacking on crackers and cheeze whiz
blonde dancer: i normally don't eat cheeze whiz b/c
it goes straight to fat under your eyes
other dancer pauses and looks at me (the 'smart' dancer) for confirmation*
i firmly shake my head
okay the body can't recognize food as specific kinds
and places it in certain parts
AND THERE IS NOT FAT UNDER YOUR EYES
blonde dancer: oh! it's low in carbs
me:it's cheese. why wouldn't it be low?
blonde dancer: ya but it's processed
omfg all cheese is PROCESSED
it doesn't happen naturally
it's not like oh la la lemme pick cheese from the bush today!
--------
"you can get STDs from your tampon"
no, no you can't. unless you share tampons
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and my favorite joke about dancers:
"so do you ever think that when they come home
from a long shift and get ready to climb into bed
they take their clothes off and say
' argh MORE work!'
LMAO
Last edited by beautifuleve; 08-07-2009 at 05:25 PM.
^^The cheese comment totally made me die a little. But I'm a total cheese nerd, so that just reflects REALLY poorly on my lack of coolness
I like the last joke![]()





Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight
"you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me
Blessed Be




"you cant get pregnant if you dont orgasm during sex"
Nice to see Sex Ed at work!
Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
you just keep on trying till you run out of cake
"...and I'm a lesbian, so I don't even like guys rubbing all over me."
riiiiight, like us straight girls just looooove all those nasty men rubbing all over us
Never do for free what you can get paid to do
Having a History conversation with the newish kitchen guy:
I was talking about the bunkers Winston Churchill had built under London for evacuating government members during air raids.
The kitchen guy goes, "Yeah, I read a book about Winston Churchill. He was like this bad alcoholic that kept fucking things up for George Washington during the American Revolution."
He was dead serious...
I was like, "Um, the American Revolution?"
He's like, "Yeah! You've never studied him, huh?"
I said, "Well, yeah, but you're close to 200 years off with the dates. He was the British Prime Minister during World War II."
He's like, "Oh, yeah, one of those wars."
Cause...you know...not much difference between the American Revolution and World War II.
Oh, and the weird kitchen guy also believed that Winston Churchill's speeches had all been written by the guy who wrote Winnie the Pooh (A. A. Milne, though he didn't know the name). I was like, where the hell did you get that idea? And I eventually realized that he was quoting the Robin Williams Live on Broadway performance where he made a joke about that--thought the joke wasn't about A. A. Milne, it was about the narrator for the original Winnie-the-Pooh cartoons. And this guy thought it was real.
All during the American Revolution, of course.





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Last edited by Athenathefabulous; 02-26-2011 at 10:05 AM.
The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.





Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight
"you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me
Blessed Be





not overheard as such but a couple of girls in my new club have had a falling out, its been going on some weeks apparently (believe me I am steering well clear of all this bitchy shit) and came to a head last night when one of them rammed her fingers down her throat and made herself sick into the other ones bag all over her street clothes, make-up etc. All was caught on the DR CCTV and vomit girl got sacked but I have to ask..............WTF?!





Oh WTF. That's disgusting. That's like something out of a Japanese horror movie dude. Oh man.
My gay makeup artist while doing my face yesterday at work talking to anyother girl:
Him: "Girl, don't wear that top, it makes your titties look lethargic."
Me: "I never heard boobs described as lethargic."
Him: "Honey, we got lots of lethargic titties in here."




LETHARGIC TITTIES....Awesome.
Aut Pax Aut Bellum
Either Peace Or War





I heard this last night as a customer but it was said by a dancer to my friend who was also there.
Friend: You know you're really cute.
Dancer: Yeah I like you, I really do. But I have to go do something really disgusting...
Friend: And what would that be?
Dancer: This guy is paying me for 15 dances to eat a girl's used tampon.
Friend: Really? How much does that run?
Dancer: About $300.
Friend: Wow! I like you. Come talk to me later.
Me: :-/
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