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Thread: Overheard in the Dressing Room

  1. #1801
    Featured Member rareaspasia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    "The government is full of nazis. They're all nazis. Obama is a FUCKING RACIST NAZI!"

    --

    "Yeah, when I was in the hospital giving birth my boyfriend spent our last twenty bucks on a lottery ticket and won three hundred dollars. I love the lottery!"

    --

    Drunk crazy girl, screaming: "What the fuck do you mean you don't want kids? What the fuck is wrong with you? We're women, we're supposed to reproduce! That's why Jesus gave us vaginas!"

    --

    Talking about how she didn't have the money to pay her house fee to the door guy: "Tell him I don't have it. I'm going to have to lick his asshole for that tonight. I'm not sucking his dick. I hate sucking dick. I'd rather lick a man's hairy asshole than suck his dick." For the record, she was totally kidding.

    --

    One girl to another who was bitching about gaining weight after getting off roxy: "Shut up, you are hot as fuck. You have awesome big ass titties. Look at those things. I'm calling you Titzilla from now on."

    --

    "Jeezus, it stinks back here. Some in here has one nasty pussy. It smells like a fucking red lobster dumpster. At high noon."

    That last one was me talking; I usually avoid being that crude but I can't stand smelling gross vagina. Ugh.

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  3. #1802
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    So the other night... Hopefully I can convey this through text, as it is literally the closest I have ever come to pissing myself laughing.

    Our dressing room has no door, just two big velvet curtains.

    *Bouncer walks into the back, flinging the curtains wide as he does*
    B: "I wish those were wooden doors, it'd be so much more satisfying."
    (has more to say but notices the curtain is moving behind him)
    DDD (from in the curtain): What the hell???
    *everybody stares at curtain while it flails about*
    DDD: "I'M TRAPPED"
    *finally flails her way through into the dressing room, dumps drink on herself*
    DDD, to Bouncer: "THIS IS ALL UR FAULT"
    *Everyone is laughing except for the bouncer, who's just staring and trying not to laugh*
    Bouncer: "I literally think this is the only time in my life I've never had anything to say..."
    D2: "Wow, way to steal his thunder...."

    ******************
    D2, to DDD: "Did you lose your purse AGAIN?"
    DDD: "I KNOW WHERE IT IS I JUST CANT FIND IT"
    D2: "I swear to God you need one of those things like the kids have so they don't lose their mittens."

    *******************

    Me: "I seriously think they put the creeper signal in the sky tonight. Fucking Thumb in Armpits guy is here tonight, fucking Squeeze Me Guy, and that Jogging Tights motherfucker..."
    Dancer: "UGH I KNOW! You should have warned me about Jogging Tights....He kept talking about how well they breathe and how nice they feel" *makes gagging face*
    Me: "Armpits guy isn't too bad... he just like, wants to keep his thumbs in your armpits for like, three songs. I do not understand the appeal."
    D: "I can deal with that. 'I Pay Money For My Fetish' creepy is ok. 'I Want to Put You in a Dumpster' creepy is not."

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  5. #1803
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Dancer "OK, so you don't belive in dinosaurs at all?"
    Shot GIrl "I only belive in dinosaurs when I'm drunk."
    Dancer "But you belive in mermaids.....?"
    Shot Girl "Yeah, I belive in mermaids. And I know that sometimes they fly."
    Dancer ".....You belive in flying mermaids but not dinosaurs?"
    Shot Girl (getting upset that we're laughing at her) "Of course I belive in mermaids but dinosaurs aren't fucking real!!!"

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  7. #1804
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJa View Post
    "So I was dancing for this guy and he was getting all handsy, and I'm like, 'you can't do that'. He says, 'why, you gonna tell your bouncer?' I said, 'No, I'm gonna rip my fucking tampon out and wipe it down your fucking shirt'. He sat on his hands after that."
    I know this is old, but AWESOME!


  8. #1805
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    *Dancer's phone pings three or four times*
    D1: "OMG SERIOUSLY STOP" (yelling at phone on table)
    D2: "What's up?"
    D1: My boyfriend is out of town...
    D2: Is he sexting you pictures of things stuck in his ass again?
    D1: YES...
    Me: "You should seriously start a tumblr with that."

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  10. #1806
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Dancer "I just got my first 'Blower in two years! I heard talk of them but ive never had one myself!"
    New Girl "WHAT?! Whats a Blower!?" *Looks terrified
    Dancer 2 "Sometimes we get certain types of customers, legend tells of three, the Blower, who spends the dance blowing on you, the knee-jiggler and the groaner. All of these men are idiots and think it increases OUR "pleasure"... you shall learn my young padawan..."
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''


  11. #1807
    Veteran Member Joanna_Kaary's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Blowers are the worst!

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  13. #1808
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    I usually bring my protein shake in a baggie, leave it on my table, then add it to almond milk I keep in the fridge later.

    Me:"Where's my whey?"
    D: "I sold it to a customer. Here's $20."
    Me: "Uh... cool. Kinda wanted that shake though. Isn't he gonna figure out pretty fast it's not drugs though?"
    D: "What's he going to do, complain to management? 'One of your dancers sold me a powder that wasn't drugs!' "


    ***********
    Girls taking a picture, another girl is in the frame:

    "Move, bitch, or you're going on the internet."

    ****************
    "So baby wipes were on sale today and I bought like, 800. Cashier asks me about my kids. I said, I don't have any. What I really wanted to say was, 'Actually, these are for my vagina.' "
    Last edited by SuperJa; 12-05-2012 at 06:23 PM.

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  15. #1809
    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    ^ thats awesome! Im imagining someone sniffing vanilla protein lol Also I love ur coworkers! The girls at my club would not have given u money for it lol
    "We are the coolest mothafuckas on the planet....The sky is fallin ain't no need to panic"... -Outkast

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  17. #1810
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    A girl talking about how she enjoys drinking another lady's breast milk in great detail. I just sat there in disbelief.

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  19. #1811
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by sun child View Post
    I've overheard all kinds of fucked up shit. I couldn't even go into it. I've often wanted to tape some of the conversations that occur, but never would. It's just something that only strippers can really experience.
    I want to write a book on it.

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by audreyalice View Post
    Dancer "OK, so you don't belive in dinosaurs at all?"
    Shot GIrl "I only belive in dinosaurs when I'm drunk."
    Dancer "But you belive in mermaids.....?"
    Shot Girl "Yeah, I belive in mermaids. And I know that sometimes they fly."
    Dancer ".....You belive in flying mermaids but not dinosaurs?"
    Shot Girl (getting upset that we're laughing at her) "Of course I belive in mermaids but dinosaurs aren't fucking real!!!"




    LMFAO.....................wtf?

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  23. #1813
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by audreyalice View Post
    Dancer "OK, so you don't belive in dinosaurs at all?"
    Shot GIrl "I only belive in dinosaurs when I'm drunk."
    Dancer "But you belive in mermaids.....?"
    Shot Girl "Yeah, I belive in mermaids. And I know that sometimes they fly."
    Dancer ".....You belive in flying mermaids but not dinosaurs?"
    Shot Girl (getting upset that we're laughing at her) "Of course I belive in mermaids but dinosaurs aren't fucking real!!!"




    LMFAO.....................wtf?

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    Veteran Member Cammi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Thankfully Not Me: "Every time I talk to you I've pissed in my underwear!"



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  26. #1815
    Member FemmeNikita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Dancer - *whispers to me* Do you have a pad, hun?
    Me- How are you going to wear a pad at work? I have tampons...
    Dancer - EW OMG NO! Tampons give you cancer!

    *After convincing her that tampons don't give you cancer, I follow her to the bathroom and am standing outside the stall.*

    Dancer - AHH IT HURTS! ITS NOT GOING IN!
    Me - Um...? Just push it!
    Dancer - Wait...which hole do i put it in?
    Me - THERES ONLY ONE HOLE!
    Dancer - ....? No. Theres two! The one you have sex with and the one you bleed out of.
    Me - Honey, come out here and show me where you're putting it.

    SHES TRYING TO PUT THE TAMPON IN HER ASSHOLE!!!!!

    *After telling her where to put it*

    Dancer - OH! That feels GREAT!

    AHHHHHHG! I can't believe how little people know about their bodies!

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  28. #1816
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by femmenikita View Post
    dancer - *whispers to me* do you have a pad, hun?
    Me- how are you going to wear a pad at work? I have tampons...
    Dancer - ew omg no! Tampons give you cancer!

    *after convincing her that tampons don't give you cancer, i follow her to the bathroom and am standing outside the stall.*

    dancer - ahh it hurts! Its not going in!
    Me - um...? Just push it!
    Dancer - wait...which hole do i put it in?
    Me - theres only one hole!
    Dancer - ....? No. Theres two! The one you have sex with and the one you bleed out of.
    Me - honey, come out here and show me where you're putting it.

    Shes trying to put the tampon in her asshole!!!!!

    *after telling her where to put it*

    dancer - oh! That feels great!

    Ahhhhhhg! I can't believe how little people know about their bodies!
    o.m.g!!! :o

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    ^^LMFAO!!!!!that is fucking crazy.

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  32. #1818
    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeNikita View Post
    Dancer - *whispers to me* Do you have a pad, hun?
    Me- How are you going to wear a pad at work? I have tampons...
    Dancer - EW OMG NO! Tampons give you cancer!

    *After convincing her that tampons don't give you cancer, I follow her to the bathroom and am standing outside the stall.*

    Dancer - AHH IT HURTS! ITS NOT GOING IN!
    Me - Um...? Just push it!
    Dancer - Wait...which hole do i put it in?
    Me - THERES ONLY ONE HOLE!
    Dancer - ....? No. Theres two! The one you have sex with and the one you bleed out of.
    Me - Honey, come out here and show me where you're putting it.

    SHES TRYING TO PUT THE TAMPON IN HER ASSHOLE!!!!!

    *After telling her where to put it*

    Dancer - OH! That feels GREAT!

    AHHHHHHG! I can't believe how little people know about their bodies!
    You can't be serious.

    So which hole does she think you bleed out of VS fuck?

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  34. #1819
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    How the fuck did she think she was going to wear a pad at work???

    @Otoki... Since she's trying to put the tampon in her ass, I'm inferring that she thinks you bleed out of your butt? wut?

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    Senior Member kraize4step's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    The girls I work with are really catty and I overheard one girl talking about another one.
    Dancer 1: I told that chick if she messed with my regular that I would walk up to every customer she tried to get and be like "You know she got crabs right!"
    Dancer 2: Damn thats fucked up!!
    Dancer 1: Hell yea but you know that bitch can't fight!
    For the remainder of the night I actually watched as she followed behind one of the other dancers and ruined all potential vip/dances for her.
    SN: Did not realize the level of cattiness at this club until now :/

  36. #1821
    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJa View Post
    How the fuck did she think she was going to wear a pad at work???

    @Otoki... Since she's trying to put the tampon in her ass, I'm inferring that she thinks you bleed out of your butt? wut?
    I weep for humanity.

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    ^ wow how old is she thats crazy!
    xoxo

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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Wasn't in the DR but still amusing. Very young dancer: "I'm down with the brothas! My baby daddy is black and I watch BET!!!!" :facepalm:
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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  40. #1824
    Member LilyXO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Last night it was super cold, especially in the DR. I walk in after doing some dances, and see two girls wearing hoodies and hovering over a blow dryer, blow drying their asses.

    Me: *confused look*
    Dancer 1: It's cold in here, especially on these seats!
    *Dancer 1 hands the blow dryer to Dancer 2, who starts blow drying their ass*
    Dancer 2: Yeah, I'm freezing! My ass is fucking cold! *Dancer 2 offers me the blow dryer* Want a turn?
    Me: *laughs* Sure, why not. Thanks!

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  42. #1825
    Member Jacquelynstarr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overheard in the Dressing Room

    Cute ^_^

    Quote Originally Posted by LilyXO View Post
    Haha here's another one! Last night in the DR, getting ready to leave:

    Dancer A: *confused look* "Who the hell are you?"
    Me (in my regular clothes): "It's me!" *takes off glasses*
    Dancer A: *shocked* "Oh shit, sorry girl, I didn't mean to be rude." *super serious look* "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

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