Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Respect

  1. #1
    Newbie drdaredevil's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Respect

    Hello everybody. I am completely new to this forum and really completely new to this business. I just turned 18 a few days ago and for my graduation present my brother and cousin insisted on taking me out to the local strip club, Diamonds, where by buddy works who talks about it all the time. So I went and while I was there I had a great time. All the girls were real nice, they were clean and the customers treated them pretty nice from what I could see. I had an issue, however, when my cousin bought me a lap dance from this girl who was talking to us for about 10 minutes. She was really nice, not much older than me, and had been working there for 2 weeks. Anyways, after talking to her I felt bad when my cousin paid for her to dance. I respect women and I experienced mixed feelings when I was getting the dance. One part of me was telling me that everything was cool... she was getting paid for her profession and everything was going as she would like. On the other hand, I felt bad because of all the stories I hear from my bouncer buddy who works there about how the girls there drink and do drugs to get rid of their problems while they work. Basically what I am asking you ladies out there is this: should I feel bad? Is it possible to respect a woman while paying her to dance? I'm sure that there are many girls out there who love what they do and do it because they want to, but I still worry about the girls who have no other choice and whatnot. Please try not to bash on me, I have read the other forums and feel that this is a bit different. I realize that this is the dancer's choice and for the most part they enjoy themselves, but its a respect issue. Thanks in advance for your responses.

  2. #2
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Respect

    I believe that you can be respectful whilst enjoying a dance by respecting the dancer's boundaries. Don't ever touch a dancer unless she invites you to (I mean explicitly not by inference).

    Most dancers in my experience are not on drugs and are not dancing due to an abusive background. Many girls do it to pay for university or to live comfortably and perhaps make investments for their future.

    If you do not feel comfortable getting dances you can always pay a dancer just for conversation.

  3. #3
    Newbie drdaredevil's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Respect

    Thanks for the fast response, Jaizaine. Despite the akward feelings, I still had a good time and she even came back later that night in whats known as "the cage" and i tipped her a little extra and she wished me a happy graduation and I was a little more relaxed and we actually had a good time--she even laughed a bit. That stuff is what made me feel a little better but will all the girls in this forum, I can get a better idea of things. The last thing I would want to do is degrade a woman but I still enjoyed myself.

  4. #4
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Respect

    Well I am glad that u ended up having fun. I suppose the first visit to a strip club can be confronting but most girls enjoy the job most of the time. If u r enjoying it and being nice and polite and tipping well she will enjoy it too - win, win.

  5. #5
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by drdaredevil View Post
    ...I felt bad because of all the stories I hear from my bouncer buddy who works there about how the girls there drink and do drugs to get rid of their problems while they work. Basically what I am asking you ladies out there is this: should I feel bad?
    Of course not...

    I worked in a place that was probably a lot worse than that. You are giving them respect when you pay them for the dance, and act like a gentleman during the dance. What more can a man do? And that's all the woman wanted from you.

    You did well, just try not to spend all your money on her when you go back, lol. Leave what you need for rent, food and gas at home.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  6. #6
    Newbie drdaredevil's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Respect

    Yea now that you point that out, I can see that situation a little better. If I loosen up and shes cool, I shouldnt see a problem. Being 18 and all, I was able to tip but not like some of those VIP guys do I'm sure. The worst part though was getting home and feeling bad about it and then going through all the stereotypes (and now i realize--misconceptions) of strippers. I'd pay to talk to her next time I go but at the same time, don't I have to respect her in the sense of not asking personal questions like "Do you like what you do" and basically the questions I am asking in this forum?

    Djoser, thanks for the reply. About the money thing, you're right on there man. I figured "Hey, $20 to get in not a big deal, and I've got some singles with me to tip, what more do I need?" but when they come up to me, sit on my lap and talk to me, I feel like

    I HAVE to or else I am taking advantage of their time. I like talking to them very much but I suppose I should go someplace else if I really want friendship. Being the first time, I am just trying to process everything and whatnot. By the way, I ended up dropping around $75 for the night. I had a great time, I tipped fairly well, and I got a little more experience in the adult life. I guess I needed to keep in mind what I was there for---I am still trying not to think about her too much since I'm sure she really wasn't THAT interrested in me personally, even though she was really nice and all...

    By the way, I am not some sort of creep stalker or anything, I just am not used to THAT much attention THAT easily.

    Any additional thoughts?
    Last edited by drdaredevil; 06-04-2007 at 11:58 PM.

  7. #7
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Respect

    I don't remember how I acted or what I did--oh wait, in a wave it crashes on me, my dad took me out on my 18th birthday party, with a recently retired dancer and her boyfriend (who was the superintendant on a shopping mall job my dad had the masonry contract on, and was behind in paying the money).

    She went and talked to the DJ, and they let her go onstage. Later she was rubbing my leg under the table, but I was too dense to take her up on anything, and my dad (a very large and powerful man) got drunk and started scaring her when we got back to their apartment, lol... He wouldn't have hurt her or done anything nasty, but his vitality and obvious attraction scared her upstairs. Her boyfriend was fine with all this, but wasn't quite sure how to handle my drunken behemoth father at the end.

    Sorry, threadjack there.

    You're doing fine, Grasshopper, and learning fast. Pay her to sit with you, maybe for a dance or two, if you want. She'll be very impressed if you pay her to sit with you instead of getting dances--maybe, lol.

    Take a bit more than 75$, if you can swing it without breaking the bank. Don't even think about asking those questions, but feel free to ask what movies or music she likes, etc. Remember that her job is to give you all that attention, and you're paying for it. With that in mind, if she's good at it, have fun!.

    Don't fall in love, that way leads to disaster, lol...
    Last edited by Djoser; 06-05-2007 at 05:55 AM.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  8. #8
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Respect

    Just be respectful (sounds like you already are) and honest with the girls and yourself. Not every guy is a big spender but obviously the ladies are going to try and get your cash. Tip at the stage if that's all you can afford or are comfortable with.
    As far as wasting a gal's time, that's really her call, not yours. A smart dancer will approach you, introduce herself and either ask straight out if you want a dance, ask if you would like to buy her a drink or just sit down and start to chat. If she asks, be honest, don't waste her time if you are not planning to buy any dances. If she chooses to stay (unlikely most of the time) it's on her and you should not feel any guilt if you don't end up spending money. It's common courtesy to tip a lady for her time if she sits with you for an extended period and you don't buy dances so, if you don't want to get involved in that, it's best to just tell the gals that you are not looking for any company.
    There are a lot of stereotypes in the strip club industry on both sides of the tip rail. You are off to a good start by reading here and listening to what the veterans are saying.
    Enjoy the ladies and don't put too much pressure on yourself and If you are not having a good time, go someplace else...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  9. #9
    Newbie drdaredevil's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Respect

    Thanks for the responses, everybody. After thinking it over for a while and letting some time pass, I think I'll be staying away from there for a little while at least. But it can really mess with your head if you don't know what to look out for. Reading this forum and your three responses, I know better now what not to do and what to do, but I still cant deny that I was probably looking for something more than what is available there. As for the respect issue, I think we can sum it up this way--be courteous to the dancers, tip them well for their time (dances or chatting), and have a good attitude while interacting with her. This way, both the client and the customer get what they want and all is well. Other than that, there are some mental preperations you need to do beforehand and realize what their job is, how well they do their job, and your place in it. With soo much....distraction.... its easy to get carried away. Thanks guys. This thread is still open for more responses, so if you have anything to add I'd be more than glad to hear about it!

  10. #10
    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Somewhere cold
    Posts
    565
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post

    You did well, just try not to spend all your money on her when you go back, lol. Leave what you need for rent, food and gas at home.
    I SO need this printed out and taped to my fridge...

    The best advice I can offer is just to have fun and enjoy the fantasy. The SC is my favorite place to escape the burdens of the "real" world for a little while. Just treat the dancers with respect and you'll get the same in return.
    Last edited by Snowles; 06-05-2007 at 04:58 PM. Reason: Noticed a typo.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    As a side note, I'd love to be able to order a naked, writhing slut muffin from Tim Horton's.

Similar Threads

  1. get some respect for yourself
    By hazeljames in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 10-31-2006, 06:34 AM
  2. No Respect
    By AlwaysGabrielle in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 07-23-2005, 03:01 AM
  3. Respect
    By AzAzn in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 06-19-2004, 01:53 AM
  4. Respect
    By Dreamer in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 02-06-2004, 06:04 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •