Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member scarletfang's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    350
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    i know, and am usually entirely confident in the knowledge that i'm NOT underweight...not even close...i'm maybe five foot one if i stand up really straight, and around 118 pounds...i'm certainly not huge, but i've still got some squish on me...

    this is also the least i've ever weighed in my adult life, and i'm suddenly finding out that some of my 'friends' liked me better when i was heavier than them (once upon a time i was over 200 pounds)...

    i don't know if it happens to anyone else, but how do you cope with being told that you're way too thin if you know that you're not? the rational part of me knows that it's either thinly veiled cattiness, or a genuine attempt to convince me to stop working so hard on my appearance, but some little corner of my mind is telling me that maybe they're right...maybe i've lost sight of what i really look like...

    i'm not losing weight super fast (i'm talking 25 pounds in 2 years slow) and i'm not really restricting what i eat either...i've certainly cut down on a lot of the crap, but i eat more than most of the people telling me that i need a cheeseburger...i'm also way more active than most of them - i don't have a car, and i hate transit, so i don't really blink at a 45 minute walk each way to do some shopping or go for dinner...i live on the 16th floor, and i'm weird about elevators, so i often take the stairs...

    i don't even know what i'm trying to ask...i'm just having a rant i guess...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Darcy Foxx
    Guest

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    I get that a lot too, often on here and other places online. I just ignore it. Because I know that I'm not too thin... if I was too thin, then I wouldn't be able to grab handfuls of flab on my butt. I understand where you're coming from though... I get really annoyed when people tell me I'm getting too thin, because if people actually saw me close up in real life they'd see that they're entirely wrong and I'm right.

    In your case, it sounds like it could be cattiness if it's people saying it to you in real life. People will do that... they're probably intimidated by the fact that you're getting your body into shape and they're worried you'll overtake them or something.

  3. #3
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Well due to my constant battle with bulimia I actually get a lot of satisfaction from people saying I am too thin.

    It hasnt been said lately

    Sorry that's not helpful at all. I dont have a rational mind when it comes to weight issues.

    Just smile, they are prob saying it out of jealousy. From your height and weight u sound in a healthy weight range anyway.

  4. #4
    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    1,860
    Thanks
    268
    Thanked 103 Times in 67 Posts
    My Mood
    Pensive

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    I'm not in the slightest bit underweight, but I've lost a fair bit of weight in the last nine months, and some people tell me I look too thin all the time. I feel a vague irritation (after all, I'd never tell those people that I think they're too fat or whatever), generally tell them that medically I'm in no way too thin and then ignore their opinion. As long as I am healthy, it is how I feel about my body that counts, after all. If I actually was medically underweight then maybe people would have something to worry about, but I'm not.

    I'm the opposite to you, Jaizaine- my own ED history (and current issues with ED-NOS) makes me super-sensitive to any comments on my weight, in either direction. I wish people would mind their own fucking business. The funny thing is, when I actually was last anorexic (visibly so, 37kg/81lbs at 5'3), maybe five years or so ago, no-one other than family ever dared to say a word about my weight.

  5. #5
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    ^^
    Have to agree there. When it comes to weight people should STFU and mind their own business.

    My dad told me that he got into trouble with mum recently coz she said "I have put on weight" and he said "well why dont u join the gym?" - he was trying to be genuinely helpful.Then she said "so I'm fat am I?"

    My advise to dad "when a woman says anything to do with her weight
    BACK AWAY SLOWLY"

  6. #6
    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,134
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 18 Times in 15 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Not to sound rude, but I think anyone would look better at 5'1" 118 than 200 lbs.

    Are they over weight friends and perhaps jealous of you successfully losing lbs? Or just jealous that you're looking better now to begin with?

  7. #7
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    4,183
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 14 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    People are going to do that because it's such a drastic difference. I was nearly160 and I am 108 now. I am 5'3". At 5'1" 118 lbs. is not underweight. You could lose 10 more if you wanted and still not be underweight. My family makes comments all the time about how thin I am. I don't care, they don't have to live in my body and I am certainly a hell of a lot healthier than they are.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member icey's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    219
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    I was 145 at 5'5 and went to 112. People were telling me all the time I was too thin. I wanted to get to 110.

    Then I saw a picture of me running a marathon and was like wow I don't look good. So I went to 118 and feel and look great now. I still get some people telling me that I am too thin from time to time. But mostly people tell me I look great.

    So if I was you take some picture of your doing things outside and really look at them. If you think you are too thin then gain some weight back, if you think you look great then don't worry about it.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    385
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    It kind of sounds like your friends might be jealous..

  10. #10
    Banned rozz's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Taxachusetts
    Posts
    2,369
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Do you still have the same friends that you had before the weight loss? Are they still the same weight?

    Usually, when we are overweight ourselves, we tend to have overweight friends. I know I did. When I started losing weight, they all commented that I was becoing too skinny. It changed the group dynamic. Rather than hanging out with them, watching tv and eating crap, I was at the gym, outside, cooking healthy meals, etc.

    It could be that they feel uncomfortable with the way things are changing, and their comments are meant to spur you back to the way it was before. They're not necessarily jealous, they're unsettled. The natural order has been uprooted. You might try talking to them, or you can just let things develop.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member Korina's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    La-La Land, CA.
    Posts
    206
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Your friends are jealous. At 200lbs and being only 5'1", that was a very unhealthy weight to be at.

    You should feel very proud of yourself Another dancer said you could probably lose ten more, she's right, but it depends on your body type and how you feel.

    The most I ever weight was 124, and I'm 5'2". I worked with a trainer and lost nearly 20lbs in ten months.

    It doesn't sound like much, but at 124, my fat% was at 23%...that was bordering on too much.

    I get crap from my food obsessed, over-weight family all the time

    You have to do what's best for you. They are not being very good friends if they are not supportive of you and your efforts to became a healthy, fit woman.

    Oh...Congratualtions!

  12. #12
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    It does sound like they are jealous. Just tell them that you are so active now that keeping weight ON is a challenge. Then eat a big ol' plate of nachos in front of them That should make em shut up.

    I cant really sympathize since no-one has ever told fat old me that I'm too thin!lol!

  13. #13
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    I think it's usually people's way of giving you a compliment (well, I guess it depends on the person). Whether they mean it in a negative way or not, I just ignore it. If you don't respond to their comments, they'll shut up.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  14. #14
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    879
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    I'd respond with: Well, medically I'm nowhere near underweight for my height.

    And if they bugged me about that, I'd ask them if they thought they knew better than the entire medical profession.

    When I was a size 5 or so, my chubby friends would tell me I was too skinny, even though I still had curves...I was just buff. They'd even give me free food! It was awesome. But sometimes people carry it too far...and then you have to ask yourself if they are really your friends.

  15. #15
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Also, fat people have a hard time judging. I have an overweight friend who thinks I'm going to waste away to nothing simply because I've been on a diet. But, it's always hard to say, "You guys just can't tell because you're so fat in comparison..."
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  16. #16
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    13,855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    When someone tells me I'm too thin, I take it as a compliment. Whether it is healthy or not. Yesterday my boss tells me I look better than I ever have, and that I used to look sick. At one point I was doing a lot of drugs and really abusing myself, so it wasn't just about my weight, but the pallor of my skin, sunken eyes, etc....

    I've put on some weight now that my money doesn't depend on it. I still think I'm sexy though. Just with extra "thickness". I prob weigh 125 at 5'4". Blah....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  17. #17
    Veteran Member wonderkitty's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Your friends are upset because a dynamic of your friendship has changed. You were a big woman, that was part of their relationship with you. Now you are thin and that is threatening because it changes things. It's the same kind of thing that happens with friends and family members of alcoholics and drug addicts who recover. They were used to one person and that person is gone.

    I agree with overweight people not being very good judges, also. My dad is overwieght and he is always telling me I am too thin. He asked me if the doctor said I was underweight, which he did not. When I was in high school my dad even though I had an eating disorder, although he never said it to my face.

  18. #18
    Veteran Member scarletfang's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    350
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    Also, fat people have a hard time judging. I have an overweight friend who thinks I'm going to waste away to nothing simply because I've been on a diet. But, it's always hard to say, "You guys just can't tell because you're so fat in comparison..."
    *laughs* i dunno, i might just start using that...if they can be bitchy, so can i...

    most of them are girls who were thinner than i am now when we met, but have since settled down and gotten just a little too comfortable...i think i'm just going to blame it on the overall fattening of north americans (ie, i know i'm not overly thin, but i have a hard time finding clothes that are small enough for me)...

    i'm definitely not letting them stop me from getting into shape - i'm not sure i want to lose another 10lbs - i've got a fairly large frame for my height, and i'm freakishly muscular for a girl - i don't want to get all gross and veiny-muscled, but i've still got some jiggle that i hate
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  19. #19
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    I lost a lot of weight due to the fact that I took Accutane(it killed my appetite), & stress on top of that towards the end of the course. And I got underweight. At 5'0" I was about 95lbs., which is ok for a girl my height. But then I got down to 88lbs. I looked a little boney(but with that ass still ).


    Anyway, it was annoying as fuck hearing it from every fucking body. Shit use to get me on my nerves. I use to tell ppl that I know, and it explained it to them and still would hear. *Wall-Bang*

    I say as long as your dr. tells you that you're healthy and you feel healthy, that's all that should matter. My health is in top notch condition. *Knocks on wood*

  20. #20
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,170
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    It depends on who comments. If my family makes comments, I usually just shake my head at them and mumble to myself about how they'll never be happy with my weight...especially my mom, she's super critical! If it's some random girl, I take it as a sign of jealousy. If it's a girlfriend, I would actually care and be like, "Really? Where? How?"...etc. If it's a guy, then I take it as he's saying my boobs got smaller.



  21. #21
    Veteran Member BlueJeanBaby's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    362
    Thanks
    18
    Thanked 24 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Quote Originally Posted by scarletfang View Post
    i know, and am usually entirely confident in the knowledge that i'm NOT underweight...not even close...i'm maybe five foot one if i stand up really straight, and around 118 pounds...i'm certainly not huge, but i've still got some squish on me...

    this is also the least i've ever weighed in my adult life, and i'm suddenly finding out that some of my 'friends' liked me better when i was heavier than them (once upon a time i was over 200 pounds)...

    i don't know if it happens to anyone else, but how do you cope with being told that you're way too thin if you know that you're not? the rational part of me knows that it's either thinly veiled cattiness, or a genuine attempt to convince me to stop working so hard on my appearance, but some little corner of my mind is telling me that maybe they're right...maybe i've lost sight of what i really look like...

    i'm not losing weight super fast (i'm talking 25 pounds in 2 years slow) and i'm not really restricting what i eat either...i've certainly cut down on a lot of the crap, but i eat more than most of the people telling me that i need a cheeseburger...i'm also way more active than most of them - i don't have a car, and i hate transit, so i don't really blink at a 45 minute walk each way to do some shopping or go for dinner...i live on the 16th floor, and i'm weird about elevators, so i often take the stairs...

    i don't even know what i'm trying to ask...i'm just having a rant i guess...
    They're jealous. Chicks hate it when one of their friends starts looking really good or improves themselves in any way. 118 and 5'1" is healthy, and definately not too skinny.

    I'm almost 5'4" and I barely weigh 100. (i have a very small frame so it looks fine) If you're too skinny, then I'm fucked.

  22. #22
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,019
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    Blahh i had this happen lastnight.

  23. #23
    Veteran Member pennygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    259
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    everyone in my life that has ever told me i was too thin.. was always overweight
    maybe if a health nut perfect body person tells you that take it to heart otherwise look at the source

  24. #24
    Veteran Member Asurfael's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Finland
    Posts
    249
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: how do you deal with being told you've lost too much weight?

    I get told that I'm too thin at times and that I should immediately stop losing weight and maybe even gain a few back and I'm 5'6" and 140 so I'm nowhere near too thin (and yes I can still afford to lose that 4-8lbs I'm planning on). I take it as a matter of personal preference, some people just prefer chubbier girls and me having been one they can't seem to let that go. I usually just tell them that technically I'm normal weight now and will be normal weight even if I lose a few more pounds, and if they argue I say that luckily it's my opinion that counts about my body and not theirs.

    Personally I find it distasteful and rude to mention anything about a person's weight unless either a) they ask for your opinion or b) are really good friends of yours who are CLEARLY losing/gaining weight way too fast (so that there's health concerns you might want to ask them about since you care for them, although in a polite manner).
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon
    I believe lots of men have the flip side of the coin when it comes to the "white knight" fantasy. They'd LOVE to be a white knight. But they usually don't really have it in them.

Similar Threads

  1. I can't tell that I've lost weight?
    By Electrum in forum Body Business
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-04-2009, 08:30 AM
  2. so ive been told ill lose some weight
    By beckysnot in forum Body Business
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 04-20-2006, 08:36 AM
  3. My new manager told me to lose weight and I'm not even chubby.
    By curvybird1980 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 03-31-2006, 12:12 AM
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-29-2006, 06:57 PM
  5. Got referral slip, but told weight is an issue..
    By Lexi_Skyy in forum Body Business
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-17-2005, 09:38 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •