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Thread: My dad has cancer

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    Featured Member Magdalena_666's Avatar
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    Default My dad has cancer

    I just found out today that my Dad has cancer. He has been in the hospital since last week and they thought it was gallstones but when they went in to operate on him yesterday they found a mass and they think it's liver cancer. They did a biopsy today and the test results will be in tomorrow and we will know if it has spread through out his whole body or not.
    If it spread then he will only have a few months left if not maybe 3 years.

    I'm an emotional mess right now. I can't stop crying. I'm sick to my stomach.I'm feeling so many emotions and so many regrets for not spending more time with him. We just recently started talking more and getting closer, so this came as such a horrible shock to me. I'm going to be going to St.Louis next week to see him. I just can't even describe the pain I feel right now. I really want to be with him right now. He was in a lot of pain so he's on a large dose of morphine. When I talked to him a few hours ago he was very out of it. He was saying somethings that didn't make since but he told me how much he loved me and that I am his little baby. my god just typing that is making me cry.

    There is no pain like this. knowing that one of your parents is going to die. Knowing that I am going to have to watch him die and that we will never be able to do so many of the things I wanted us to do together in this life. I don't think I'll be able to get through this...I've lost so much these past few years and I'm so worn out emotionally. I just wish I had spent more time with him before. I am sick with sadness and regret and shame right now. I wish I had been a better daughter.

    This just hurt's so bad. It feel's like the pain will kill me. I don't want to go through the rest of my life without my dad. I can't stop crying. Just knowing he won't be here with me.... I don't know what to do. I don't even feel the will to be alive anymore.I just can't watch him die.....I can't. Why can't it be me instead? Everyone I love dies or leaves me.

    I find out the results for sure tomorrow and I'm terrified. I have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
    I'm so scared. I would give him my liver in a second if I could. I really hope he know's how much I love him. I wish I had known that he always loved me...now it's too late. My mom always said he didn't want to see me and would always make comments about how he didn't do things with me like most dad's did for thier children and so I grew up thinking he didn't really love me when really it was my mom poisioning my mind against him becuase SHE felt resentment and anger towards him. My therapist helped me realize this and my Dad and I had been talking at least a few times a week these past 2 months. As my therapist said today the timing couldn't be more tragic. I just wish more than anything that I could go back in time and not pushed him away for so many years. I will never forgive my self for that. Him and my mom are the only family I have left and I feel so alone.
    Sorry for rambling but im just a mess.


    'Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'
    T.S Eliot

    I believe you Dottie and you have my support






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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Sweetie, I am soooo sorry about your dad. I got teary-eyed reading your situation. It made me think of how much I love my father. You know all of us SW gals are here for you. It's great you are going to see him and spend time with him. So they don't know for sure that it has spread right? So it could be treatable? I hope things turn out ok, hon.

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    Featured Member Magdalena_666's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Thank you for the kind words and support funlatina it really means a lot right now. No, they don't know for sure that it has spread but even it it hasn't the doctors said he would only be able to live 3-5 years and I think he would have to get a liver transplant. He had been having really bad pain in his stomach for a few weeks but he is stubborn and refused to go to the doctor. It finally got so bad on Monday that he called 911. The reason I'm so worried is because he's had the pain for so long. That makes me think it could have spread already. i don't know anything about cancer so I'm really confused and just really scared.
    I would give anything for him to be okay but I just have the worst feeling. I'm dreading tomorrow. I feel like it's the end of the rest of my life without him in it and


    'Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'
    T.S Eliot

    I believe you Dottie and you have my support






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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    best wishes, i'm so sorry for the bad news.

    good luck to your dad, family, and you!

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Best wishes. I've been through the loss of a parent and there is really nothing that will make it easier, but if it helps any, you'll find the strength you need to deal with this, however it works out, one day at a time. Sad times ;(

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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    My thoughts are with you. Hope the cancer is detected at an early stage so your dad will be around a long time
    Last edited by sol_de_pr2; 06-09-2007 at 06:34 AM.



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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    oh, I'm so sorry. That's horrible. At least now you are having a relationship with him. Just try to spend as much time with him as you can. And you never know, he might live a lot longer than even the doctors say. They are wrong about those kinds of things a lot.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Oh sweetie I am so sorry.

    Cancer is very frightening. I hope the news that you get is good.

    You said that he has had pain for a few weeks, that is not so long so hopefully it has not spread.

    My dad was diagnosed with hodgkins lymphoma in 1997 and he has been in full remission ever since. People can get cancer and live.

    I know liver cancer is very serious because it's a main organ but he may live for many years to come. A family friend of ours was diagnosed with liver cancer that had spread and she was given 3 months, she lived for 4 years! Most of that time was quite pain free for her.

    You said that you regret not spending more time with your dad, well now is the time that you can catch up on that lost time and show him how much he means to you.

    Don't wish for it to be you either, imagine how your dad would feel if it was his little girl. No parent wants to go through that.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    *HUGS*

    Its a scary thing to know you may lose a loved one. Make each and every moment special with him. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I do have to say, though, that I think it's great that you are getting a chance to be with him, tell him how much you love him and get some closeness with him before (IF) he passes.

    Cherish every moment you have with him. And, please remember that miracles happen every day.

    Sending you lots of hugs.

    VG

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    A year and a half ago I watched my mom going through an awful seizure that lasted about a half hour. We already knew she was close to the edge, but she had been getting better until about 10 minutes before I walked in to visit her in Intensive Care in the middle of the night. She died 4 days later.

    It was awful, watching her suffer like that, it really hurts me to think of it even now. It was way, way worse than when she finally went, she was in Hospice then and felt no pain.

    We had been estranged before that, though we were getting closer when she went in for heart surgery about a month before. Stupid problems tend to become meaningless, though, when life is hanging by a thread.

    Don't worry about being a better daughter, just reading your post tells me everything I need to know about your loyalty and love for your dad. He knows you love him, that's all that matters. My mom knew damned well I loved her before she went, and I am very grateful for that.

    And what the other replies have said is true, sometimes people can fight back and do much better than the doctors say.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Prayers go out to your dad.
    Godspeed

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    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    I'm sorry to hear about your dad, Magdalena. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. *hugs*
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    I'm so sorry Magdelina. This has got to be hard.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    I'm so sorry sweetheart. You and your family are in my prayers.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    Veteran Member Aine's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    I'm so sorry your going through this and you know we are all here for you in any way we can be. I lost my mom to cancer in 2004, and yeah, there is nothing else in this world that can describe how it feels to watch a parent die. There are no words for it!!! My heart goes out to you and your family!!

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    Veteran Member StevieStar7's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    I wish you HOPE!!! We've lost several family members to Cancer but my youngest sister was diagnosed with Leukemia on May 4, 2001 (my brother's birthday) she was only 27. She also (at the time) had 2 small children, she was a single mom. She pulled through....and now, she's been in remission for 6 years!!!

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    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in what has to be a really difficult time for you all.

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you during this time for a full recovery for your dad.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    My sympathies to you and your family...
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

    ~Che Guevara, "The Motorcycle Diaries"

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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    I'm sorry. *crosses fingers & prays for your dad and your family*

    Rose Leigh

  22. #22
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Oh.

    I am so so so sad right with you. No one deserves to go through this.

    be thankful you do get to spend time with him now, and cherish every moment. Continue getting to know him.

    I hate that you have to go through this. And I wish I could say it'll be ok. But it really won't, and lying about it won't change anything. It sucks. it really really does. And everything is different now, and will be even more different when he's gone. Your whole outlook will change....

    But you will survive. You are so strong, and you'll make it through this.

    I hope that you get to have as much time with him as possible. And I know you'll value every moment.



    I'm here for you.

  23. #23
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Oh wow --- I am so sorry to read this, Magdalena. You are such a sweet and caring person. I'm sure your dad knows this and I think there is a great possibility that he (like any loving parent) can see past the negatives in your past and feels love for you overall. I understand the part that you wrote about everyone dying or going away...I feel like that a lot too. My dad and I fluctuate between love and hate all the time. I didn't even talk to him for 10 years and I'm not on speaking terms with him now. I feel something similar to your situation will happen because he doesn't take good care of himself at all.
    But the good news is that you both made a connection again which is so much better than not ever doing it at all, even if your time together is a little shorter. He knows you love him and that is what is most important. That love will last beyond life and death. Try not to have any regrets and just have hope for the future if you can find some within your grief.
    If you need to talk or anything PM me.

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    I am so sorry, Mag.

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    Default Re: My dad has cancer

    Just be strong it will help him as well - sorry this is happening .

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