Ok so I know this is kind of off the beaten path but...
have any of you girls ever become friends with "the EX?"
My guy dated his ex-gf for three years before she cheated on him. Then they saw one another on and off for two more years. He had a difficult time getting over her and I actually met him in the throes of it. He and I got together in 2004, while he was still in the process of getting over her.
Bit of backgroundf info: my guy is unbelievable honest, sensitive, laid back, kind of a hippie. He let me in on lots of details about their relationship and as a result, I developed sort of a complex about *Brittany* (*name changed). For some time, I felt like despite what he said, I didn't compare to her in his mind, I practically stalked her myspace, and she came up often in arguments..
Flash forward to 2007. Our relationship has come a long way. He's long over his ex, and we moved across the country together, and we've been doing well here. Strangely enough, I myspaced his ex in a moment of braveness, and she wrote me this long letter, and just seemed..totally cool. We began going back and forth with the messages and I realized that she is a lot like me, and we're total dorks..and we have had a lot of laughs in our correspondences. She's 33 and from austin, tx and has a great sense of humor, and we have a ton of shit in common. It's like we've been friends in another lifetime or something. Then she visits L.A. this week to see her bf who lives here, and before she left home, she asked me if I would care to meet up for a lil drink. Hmmmm...
She was the one who left my guy. She has no interest in him whatsoever, has a new bf, and does not even care to date men of my bf's race anymore, so that's not an issue. On the converse, he is totally ambiguous about us meeting. He thinks it's cool that we can be friends but that's about it.
On the other hand, she seems so completely cool and down to earth. A piece of me really wants to meet her simply for the reason that #1, she seems cool and #2 meeting my guy's ex is the biggest challenge I could ever face, in my opinion. I promised myself that part of my california experience would be about personal growth; to embrace the unfamiliar, accept change and face new challenges. To me, meeting up with my guy's ex gf, who I once had so many issues with, would be a great personal accomplishment. So the majority of me is totally dying to do this.
(And I got a fucking AMAZING outfit this past week that would be soooo perfect for the occasion, making me appear like the totally fashionable, put-together current gf)
So we talked for the first time tonight...I was sooooo nervous. Since she's about 5 years older than me, I have the feeling she's a lot more confident and sure of herself than me...so my question is:
If I get my balls back and we do proceed with this and meet up for a drink this week, how do I keep myself from being this nervous? I want to be cool, calm and collected too! Just every once in awhile the though that "she IS his ex of 5 years" comes creeping into my mind and I feel shaky and intimidated...
Calm, confident ladies, lol.. how do i NOT be nervous and intimidated? How do I be the me that I've been in emails all this time?
(Man, thank God we're going to get drinks..lol)![]()



). For some time, I felt like despite what he said, I didn't compare to her in his mind, I practically stalked her myspace, and she came up often in arguments..
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