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Thread: Morbid thoughts...

  1. #1
    Kaylinn
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    Default Morbid thoughts...

    Roulette's post about her gram, and my own gram dying, it got me thinking of how I want my funeral. I have always had very specific thoughts on how I want things done, and my boyfriend doesn't agree. He thinks it's selfish, he says funeral's are for the family to say goodbye and grieve, not for the dead person.

    I do not want a funeral at all. I do not want put in a casket or burried I want creamated and my ashes dumped outside. I coudl care less where, if its in the ocean or behind an alley, as long as they are dumped outside. I am willing to have a memorial service outside somewhere, with a picture of me up, but no casket. I do not want put in a casket at all. I HATE funeral's, and i think they are silly. To cry over someone's dead body. I dont get it. I want my life remembered, I do not want peopel to cry over my dead body. I think the whole idea is freaky. I never understood the whole thing. My boyfriend says that people need to do that to get closure and say goodbye, and while i agree with that...it's just a dead body. I'd much rather someone just go sit otuside under a tree smewhere and talk to the wind, because a person's spirit is there, not in the dead body. People just need somethign physical to touch and mourn.

    Anyway, I have told him my plans, since I have a very specific idea of what I want. No casket, no funeral. Just a memorial. Dump the ashes. Anywhere. Dont matter to me. If you want to grieve and mourn, go sit outside and do it, but no need to talk to a casket or headstone. I will not be there.

    so...its it odd that I am 26 years old and know exactly what I want? Is it wrong I ant things the way I do? Is it selfish? And d you know how you want thigns? Have you ever thought about it?

    .

  2. #2
    God/dess Roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    I dont think that's morbid or bad or weird at all. I've thought about it too and I'm 22. I want to be creamated for sure and rather than some sort of sad poo poo funeral I want people to have a great big balls to the wall party!! I want all the happy looking pictures of me out and easy to see. I understand they will be sad but I want them to party it up for me playing cheesey 80's music - I want some limbo and Twister. Hell put some of my ashes inside a baloon and play that game where you try to keep it off the floor, if they want to feel connected to me let me play too hell make it a pool party, rent out a rec center have a blast!! I want everyone there to wake up the next morning with a hangover or hopefully still drunk from the night before.
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  3. #3
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    I've had this convo a million times. Personally, I don't want my rotting nasty-ass body covered in worms underground. I understand both sides. It's nice to have somewhere for the family to greive... and at the same time, it doesn't really matter to the dead person. As far as I know, you can get cremated and get a headstone thing and have a teeny little area for you. That's what I'm going to do. I'd rather my family not have to pay for some expensive casket and whatnot.

    Selfish, no. I think people's thoughts will have more to do with what they think happens after death.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member scarletfang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    i don't think it's wrong or morbid at all - in fact, it's probably a healthy way of dealing with the stress related to the loss of a loved one...

    shortly after we met, my now-husbands father passed away...that led to a lot of discussion about both of our wishes in the event of serious illness or death...it's sort of reassuring to know that if something happens to him, i know what he wants (both in terms of medical intervention and aftercare) and it makes me feel a lot better knowing that i will never be buried...

    i've always felt that any sort of memorial service should be primarily decided upon by those who are still alive, based on what they want/need to come to terms with the death, but what happens to a person's body after they die should be what that person wants...

    just my 2 cents...
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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    I don't think its unusual at all to think about it... I'm approaching my 20th birthday, and I've known for years what I wanted done.

    No casket. Cremation. I'm not finicky what becomes of the ashes. Services, minimal. As for flowers, which my family would probably insist on... nothing extravagent, just one red rose(my dad always gave me one red rose at piano recitals. It means much more to me that way), or possibly one rose for each family member I've left behind. Red for immediate, yellow for extended, pink for friends..this is loosely based off my dads mothers day tradition. He'd give my mom three roses, one red, for his love, and two yellow, for their two daughters. I've never understood the point in ceremonies just to be there...I want it to have MEANING.



    I worked with a woman once... her aunt died, and requested her body be cremated, and her ashes flushed down the toilet.

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  6. #6
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    My cousin died unexpectedly last year. She was only in her early 30's and had two small children. She died of heart failure, we still dont know the exact reason as the autospy results were inconclusive - no drugs found in her system but she had abused drugs for years and perhaps they put strain on her heart.

    She had no funeral, no service, nothing.

    I think your idea Kaylinn is fine because there would be some sort of service.

    My cousin had told her mother that she didn't want any sort of service. I understand that a person's wishes should be respected but at the same time, funerals or services are more to benefit the people left behind, a way to say goodbye and grieve amongst family and friends who also loved the person.

    With my cousin many of us felt robbed of that opportunity. It was even said that it felt as if she never existed. We just heard that she had died and never got an opportunity to pay our respects and say goodbye. It was really sad.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member BmiWMT14's Avatar
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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    I agree that is not morbid to think about it. In fact I think more people than not have had these thoughts before.

    I have told my wife, that I want a nice funeral with a shiney black, and chrome casket. I have a very heavy involvement in auto racing, and due to this I have asked to have a checkered flag waved at the cemetary after the clergy has said his piece. The headstone is also to have to crossed checkered flags engraved on it. After the services there is to be a big party with lively music and lots of booze!
    You Cant Quit until you try, You cant live until you die, You Cant learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie.You Cant Breath Until you choke,You gotta Laugh When your the Joke, Theres Nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive! Will you swear on your life, that no one will cry at my Funeral!
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  8. #8
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    Everyone close to me knows my wishes already. Donate absolutely EVERYTHING. I want all my organs donated to people who can still use them; anything else can go to science, they can make wigs from my hair, test cosmetics on my skin, whatever. If there is anything left, I want it cremated and scattered over the Mississippi River from Memphis. And somewhere in Memphis, I want a bench and a tree. I don't want a headstone or some depressing cemetery plot; I want a bench and a tree in a nice pretty place. My name and dates and maybe some nice words can be on a plaque on the bench, and if anyone misses me they can rest on my bench under my tree.

  9. #9
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    ^^ That sounds perfect. I like it. Espicialy the bench.

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    Default Re: Morbid thoughts...

    Since you're on the subject:

    This is how I woke my sister up when I found out that my granny croaked.




    JEEEEEZ, I'm such a cold-hearted prick!

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