OK so just got home from another lovely workday... moneys still fuckall nil.
I know i haven't been dancing terribly long.. But i really feel like I HAVE improved a LOT onstage, and can put on a damn good show. maybe its egotistical, or deluding myself, but I know i work hard at it, and I feel like it shows.
There was another dancer on shift today, who, I gather, has been dancing less than two weeks. It was her second day at my club, and she'd just started at a different club, that I used to work at.
We were talking well getting ready, making nice and polite and jazz... there was already a bit of drama... So for the entire shift, she'd come to watch me onstage... After I got off from my first set, she said "DAMN, you SURE can work the pole!"(I can do a few tricks, though nothign too spectacular) later, she said "I keep watching you go on-your gorgeous, and I think i learn something new every time!"
I'm sure once you've been doing this a while, you get used to it, and the novelty fades... but DAMN i was happy!
I miss teaching, its been something I've done for YEARS... teaching my sister when we were homeschooled, teaching piano during high school, teaching piano and tutoring in music recording software during college...
So yeah, to me its a HUGE compliment if someone tells me I'm smart, or say's they're learning from me. Major happy feelings! Either way, it was the highlight of my godawful night...
I guess it just kindof made me think on the whole situation... yeah, money's SUCKED this month-not even minimum wage despite working a LOT.... But I really like doing this. I like clicking into my Daniella personality, with her baby innocence, ever present smile and sarcastic comment... To an extent, I even enjoy lying, about where i'm from and all that, and making up a bit of a history for myself.
So yeah, I ordered some new makeup, and am working at stepping up my look, going to audition at another club as well, that i have a feeling "daniella"s cute cuddly personality would be well suited to...
Its funny, because normally i have a REALLY sharp wit, but you'd never hear it, because I'm socially anxious and keep it to myself, so going in there, and just cutting loose with the verbal acumen is just scary liberating! I'm not used to feeling CONFIDENT!
So any portland girls who have advice for me on kicking up the look a notch, I'm open! Ready and waiting for the molding, and already working on myself! I just want to earn enough to keep up the nice well groomed hands, buy a new pair of shoes and make some outfits, and take a pole class... Doesn't seem like that much to ask...
its just disappointing, feelign like i'm doing so WELL with the learning curve on this, and feeling like I have something to offer, and still coming home with 20$.



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I'll bet I'll be able to perfect that one after a few more shifts.



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