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Thread: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

  1. #1
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    Sad HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    HELP!!! The title says it all!

    I'm trying to get back in contact with a lot of my old friends from the military, tech school, high school, etc. on Myspace and have tried to add them as friends. These were supposedly really good friends of mine in the past and I had great relationships with them...but a few of them never got back to me???

    I know there are a lot of threads on here about the issue with parents finding out....but what about old friends when they find out?

    One of them is a devout Christian so I understand why he would not "approve" of what I am doing right now. Also, I know a lot of my old guy friends are married now, and it probably just wouldn't be a good idea to have me as a friend because of their SO's.

    This makes me so sad and angry at the same time! Maybe it will just take some time for them to get over it, or maybe they never will... I don't know.

    Have any of you gals ever lost any good friendships with people because they found out you were a stripper later?
    Last edited by Mily; 06-19-2007 at 08:51 AM.



  2. #2
    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    I don't want to be friends with anyone who can't accept me... regardless of what I do for a living. Sounds like you need to move on and meet some new people.

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    Senior Member burnedrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    I was suppose to be a bridesmaid in my friends marriage, which is less than a month away. When she found out that I got into dancing, she threw me out of her bridal party, told me not to come to the wedding and called me everything from a cum dumpster to a slut...and everything in between. If she wants to treat me like shit for something I chose to do that doesnt affect her at all, then I let her do so. She is the lesser person for having judged me so radically on something that doesnt affect her at all.
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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    I havent lost any friends because of it yet...but I have to keep this from my future in laws and I hate it. My fiances mother is such a sweetheart and I love her to death but it really hurts me to think that she would dislike me because of what I do. I mean I understand her standpoint as my fiances mother...but it would still hurt me that she wouldnt "love me" anymore if she found out I danced. As for friends...I'm not even really friends with anyone that would dislike me because of it...I got rid of my judgemental friends a long time ago because they're really not true friends.


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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lyssa Lynn View Post
    I don't want to be friends with anyone who can't accept me... regardless of what I do for a living. Sounds like you need to move on and meet some new people.
    Oh...trust me!!! I know this! I'm just really disappointed with them, that's all.



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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    Are you certain they've found out? it doesnt say anywhere in your post... but I've lost track of plenty of old friends who just stop answering me...

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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    ^^^Yes...I have a MYSpace account...it's even in my siggy. I tried adding them...so I know that they have seen my profile. I've even sent them emails.



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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    that sucks! It could still be either-but kudos to you for actually having that in your personal one-i have separate ones, and its a PAIN...

    I'd give them the benefit of the doubt for the moment... they may just be busy, or they may be ignoring you... no way to know, but worrying won't make it any less the case.

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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by needtodance View Post
    that sucks! It could still be either-but kudos to you for actually having that in your personal one-i have separate ones, and its a PAIN...

    I'd give them the benefit of the doubt for the moment... they may just be busy, or they may be ignoring you... no way to know, but worrying won't make it any less the case.

    I love what I do for a living, and I made my profile very clear of that.



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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    But people get busy. Remember, YOUR job has a lot of freedom with scheduling, but theirs may NOT. They may simply have no time, between a family and a 40 hour workweek, etc. Are your messages to them in the sent folder saying "read", or new friends added to their profile while your request is still "pending"? If so, then yeah, they aren't worth your time. I know a lot of people who post blogs on myspace, and pictures, but NEVER check their messages and requests(OK, maybe once a month). Myspace is a tool, different people use it for different things-I wouldn't assume that they've even read that far into your profile yet.

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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    Also, if you wanted to make the point, you could do a blog and bulletin about "so and so" who was rude to you when they found out, and you hate how people judge you by your job, and intelligently make a case for them accepting you as a person. Maybe they'll read it, maybe they won't, maybe a mutual friend who knows they're ignoring you will say "don't you think you're being hard on mileia?" A lot of times simply having your feelings out there can help them realize they're being jerks.

    SInce its myspace, they may or may not even see it, but I bet it will feel good to have it out there.

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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    ^Yeah...I just set up the page recently so I haven't even had time to write any blogs. I'll probably write one titled, "P.S> Don't Judge Me...I Am Going To Heaven, Dagnabbit!" LOL.

    Oh well...yeah I understand about the time thing and all, too. I also wanted to hear other people's stories and if they had ever lost any friends cuz of dancing. So stupid....
    Last edited by Mily; 06-19-2007 at 02:58 PM.



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    Thumbs down Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by burnedrose View Post
    I was suppose to be a bridesmaid in my friends marriage, which is less than a month away. When she found out that I got into dancing, she threw me out of her bridal party, told me not to come to the wedding and called me everything from a cum dumpster to a slut...and everything in between. If she wants to treat me like shit for something I chose to do that doesnt affect her at all, then I let her do so. She is the lesser person for having judged me so radically on something that doesnt affect her at all.

    I'm sorry this had to happen to you!!! But you're right...she is the lesser person for judging you. Hmmph!!!



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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    I'm not sure why you assume that this is because of dancing?

    The whole getting in touch with old friends process can be a little awkward and daunting, even if you were working as a lawyer. I wouldn't assume that the dancing is what alienated people. It's probably more like myspace is weird, sometimes it's tricky to synch up with old friends, and sometimes people just don't feel like updating anyone on what THEY'VE been up to.

    My theory is that this stuff almost always has more to do with other people than it does with you.
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    ^Well, I know my Christian "friend" denied me because I sent him a request, he never got back to me, so I sent him another one later. If you send a request twice than it will usually says you already have a request pending. But it took me back to the first step. Plus, I know how religious and conservative he is. He always preached and preached about not judging people and that is exactly what he is doing.

    A big reason why I even got this account is so I could find my "lost" friends. Because of the military and all, it was hard on all of us with keeping in touch because of all the moving around we did.

    Oh, well...I don't care anymore. People change, things change and all...I know I have changed as a person. I'm just gonna move on.
    Last edited by Mily; 06-19-2007 at 03:21 PM.



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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileia777 View Post
    Also, I know a lot of my old guy friends are married now, and it probably just wouldn't be a good idea to have me as a friend because of their SO's.
    That's true. a lot of women would be very threatened by their SO being friends with a stripper.

    If u get into contact with them and they dont approve then dont waste anymore time on them

    I have no lost any friends. Most of my friends approve of it even tho they wouldnt do it themselves.

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    Member antithesis's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    People will surprise you. One of my good friends read me the riot act a couple months ago.... He got drunk and started telling me I have no morals etc. etc. just because I am a stripper. Its sad how the job can automatically put a taint on you, but if he or anyone else actually experienced what I do at work they would have nothing to say. sad part is, they don't. there is and may always be a social stigma that follows the job, we may always be judged by our worst specimen. boyfriends have continually thrown it in my face in some snide way or another when aggravated and hitting below the belt. BUT, good friends, and GOOD people will accept you no matter what. I have good friends, from high school even, married and all (guy friends) that I am still close to, who know (and whose wives know) what I do and still love me. so, if they're worth it, they will stick around.
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    ^^^Okay...I'll admit it. A couple of these guys were ex boyfriends...maybe it just plain ticked them off!!!

    Now, the Christian guy....this is the only reason I can think of because he is not in a relationship??? To Hell with him!



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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    I have always had more acquaintances than true friends for years now. A true friend kind of has a similar path in life as you (not necessarily the same type of job though).

  20. #20
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    No, I never lost a good friendship over it. I lost some fake pseudo-friends, but a good friendship is built on love and acceptance. You haven't lost any friends either, you've just seen people for what they are.

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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    My experience of people like your judgemental friend(s) is that the greater and more righteous the judgement, the more the person is afraid of what they are judging (in this case passion). The news is full of "upstanding" characters who live double lives; the discord is in THEM, but they prefer to make it seem it is in YOU, to deflect attention from what they are so afraid of in themselves. Time will deal with their efforts to contain passion--you can't do it forever. In the meantime, keep your chin up.
    JK Jim

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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    Years ago, I lost some people who I thought were friends. However, I learned that if someone is a friend, then they will accept you as you are.

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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    If they're simply not getting back to you, it might not be because of your job. To answer the question, though... No, I've never lost a friend because of stripping.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Senior Member manchester's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    just tell that obnoxious little brat that:

    jesus hung out with prostitutes.
    jesus said to love your neighbor.
    the golden rule "treat others how you want to be treated"
    & only god can judge you.

    if that still doesn't work, not only is he an absolute pompous douchebag for turning you away, but he is also an even BIGGER moron for being such a hypocrite to use his religion to pass judgement on you, when clearly his religion discourages such a thing.

  25. #25
    Vivacious
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Anyone Ever Lose Any Good Friendships Because of Stripping?

    Another take is that the fact that you're a stripper could be a turn on for your religious guy friend, and he doesn't know what to do with THAT. I mean, he is a guy. He could be judging himself, not you.

    What about getting in touch with people you miss in a more personal way? They might not be into MySpace, but would be into a friendly email. Maybe you already did that. Just an idea.

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