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Thread: Approaching Guys At The Stage

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    Default Approaching Guys At The Stage

    I just started at a new club...and in the dressing room one of the girls told me not to ever approach guys at the stage while a girl is dancing because she'll get really mad. I can kind of see how that would be rude...but it was a monday afternoon...the only people in the club were sitting around the stage. Then one of the waitresses comes up to me and says "go up to that guy" and I told her what the girl said and she said "oh just do it, he keeps looking at you" and he got 3 dances plus some tips. So i was just curious...is this common or was this girl just trying to keep me from messing with her hustle since I'm new and i don't really know much about the place?


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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    It's considered rude at our club. You can walk past and kinda brush against them, and if they say hi or something first you can stop. Or you may sit down next to them and talk BUT you need to make sure they are still tipping the girl on stage for both of you. If he wants a dance, make sure you throw a few bucks on stage for the girl. But we don't sit unless someone basically calls us over.

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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    yeah its really understandable...I just didnt know what I was supposed to do when it was slow and the only guys there are at the stage, just sit on my ass till my set comes up?


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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    It IS rude if they're right up at the tip rail... It doesn't mean they won't buy, but its not worth the drama you'll start with your coworkers. Far better to wait until they get up for another drink, or to get more singles or your next set. Chances are, if they have money for dances, they're not going to bankrupt themselves on stage tips.

    I guess the litmus test is always the golden rule. How would you like it if you were hustling a guy on stage, and another dancer came up, distracted him from even STAGE tipping you, and he ended up getting dances from her? Isn't it exactly the same as if you were sitting by him, and the girl sat on his other side, or waited for your stage set and then sat by him, and he spent on her instead? How many times have we seen posts on here about other girls doing just THAT?

    I'm a little shocked that the waitress would direct you up there... either she hasn't been there long and knows little of the etiquette, or she enjoys drama. I mean, we all like a "that guy there got enough money for a few dances, plus singles" type tip, but telling you to go up there while he was at the rail?

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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    well he wasnt really tipping...like I said it was a monday afternoon and there were maybe 7 guys there...mostly just having a drink by the stage. I def. understand that it would be rude of me to grab a guy tipping a girl onstage and try to get a private dance from him...obviously I wouldnt like it either. I mean this guy def. wasnt into the girl on stage...he was just sitting by the stage. I actually didnt even approcah him for a dance, I offered him a shot and then he got a dance. The waitress seemed like she had been there for a while...she was familiar with all the customers...and the guy was obviously checking me out. I was just checking what was common and polite practice, I def. dont want to piss anybody off, I just had 2 people telling me 2 different things. and what do you do in that situation, where its slow so all the guys decide to sit near the stage?


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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    If it's slow, and the only customers in there are at the tip rail... tough. You just gotta wait until there's no one on stage or they get up and move. He's at the tip rail for a reason -- he enjoys watching the girl on stage. That waitress sounds like she just wants to see some drama.

    There are break songs in between stage dancers, right? It's not so hard to wait 2 songs until there's no one on stage anymore, and then anyone at the tip rail is fair game.

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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    No, there are always girls on stage...so you have to wait until your set I guess. But thanks for clearing it up for me. I dont think I was particulalrly rude in approaching that guy because A)he wasnt tipping to begin with and B)I didnt go sit with him or try to get a dance from him, I just offered him a shot and he asked for a dance. But now I know in the future to keep away. I was also wondering because when I asked the manager about it he said anything the girl (not the waitress the girl that told me not to) told me was bs.


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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    Eh.... but sometimes there's not an actual club rule on stuff, but it's more just a common rule of etiquette.

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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    no I know I just didnt know if it was true or if she was just trying to fuck with me since everybody was telling me different things...so I figured I'd ask you girls since youre dancers and not managers or waitresses so thankyou for the feedback now I know better.


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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    Eh, if the guy has motioned you over or if the waitress directed you to him, I wouldn't feel bad about it. If it is busy I don't think anything of occasionally going up to a guy who happens to be sitting at a stage. It is usually right after my stage set though, and I just come off and go talk to the target guy.

    The rule is that if you are taking a guy from the stage you make sure he throws down a couple of bucks for the dancer onstage. And, naturally you wouldn't take a guy if there are only two or three guys sitting there. But if it is a full stage I don't see the problem.
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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    ^^^
    thanks i like that idea (have him tip her before you leave) it seems like a win/win situation


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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    It depends where you are. Some clubs designate the tip rail as a "hustle free zone." I don't get it myself - I don't believe in hustle free zones. But there are no circumstances in which if a customer asks you to come over, it is discourteous to do so.
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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    It really depends on where you are. If it's not a club rule, go ahead and do it if the guy is looking at you. After you introduce yourself, say "can I give her a couple dollars?" and give her some of his money. Help him tip really well, and when you go to do a dance for him, give her the rest of his stack of ones (if he's cool with it, of course).

    needtodance, outside of Portland, it's not really like that. We don't really make much money on stage, and it certainly isn't on the same level as selling a dance.



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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    Good to know... Portland is pretty unusual I guess... I've just only seen a dancer ever try it once, even when a customer tries waving them over... Nearly caused a catfight in the dressing room, and the only reason it DIDN'T is because the girl who was beckoned over was sent home, and the other girl refused to dance if she was anywhere in the building...EVER... mangement had to completely shift schedules in order to not put them together because they'd bring custy's into it as well, talking crap about the other girl... It was like the SC apocalypse!

    but yeah, if stage tips aren't a large portion of your income, it makes sense not to worry about it as much. It hadn't really occured to me that other areas you might not need to be as possessive about that couple dollars per set...

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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    Yeah, I mean, if you take a guy away from my stage your gonna make at least twenty off of him, and what am I losing? Like 2-5 bucks? Just put a couple of his dollars on my rail when you take him away and it's all cool.



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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    We all (dancers) decided it's okay to approach guys at the rack. BUT, you can't sit down in a seat a paying customer would otherwise sit in. AND I will always (as a courtesy) suggest he "enjoy so-and-so's performance first, then I'll come and get you for a dance" or I'll say "If you'd like to get a dance right now, leave a little something for my girl onstage."
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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    I think it's ok to sit in a seat next to him as long as you are making the guy let you tip the girl also. Usually, if I'm at stage I make the guys around me tip the girl better than they would have, and it gets a few extra guys up to her stage when she dances for me. That being said, I normally only do this for girls I atleast get along with.

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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    A good way to get around it at the last club I worked at was to sit down with a customer, make a brief, "hi, how do you do" and then tip the girl on stage yourself. Wave the fella up with you if he's reluctant. Most guys find women dancing for women hot...so you're stuffing the garter of the girl on stage and buying yourself time to hustle with the fella. Take him somewhere else where your dance will not be a distraction to the guys who are still around the stage to respect the girls on stage. I certainly wouldn't do it if there were other customers in other places in the club. But I never see anything wrong with spending my money on a fellow dancer, encouraging him to tip and admire her then walking off. You have planted a seed for a dance later in the shift. Just my two cents.
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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    I wouldn't feel bad about it because the waitress did send you over, but it is a BIG no-no at our club. $20 fine for talking to someone sitting at the stage, whether he ends up spending money on you or not. Did he see her on stage before, and pass up an opportunity with her? Did he see you on stage before? Was he tipping? If a guy is tipping a girl on stage, and/or she hasn't gotten the chance to sell dances to him, I would say its not cool. If he was just sitting there for a while with no interest in the girl on stage, then its not such a big deal.
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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    at my club, alot of the girls take the guys off the tipping rail. there is never a "break" between dancers - someone is always up on stage - club rules - so if you want a dance from some guy on the tipping rail, you, literally, have to go up to him and ask him for a dance...

    Then again, this happens allll the time at my club, so I dont see what the big deal is.
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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    Quote Originally Posted by kylie3183 View Post
    Eh.... but sometimes there's not an actual club rule on stuff, but it's more just a common rule of etiquette.
    That's what I was taught. You just don't go up to the stage with a girl up there and start hustling guys, you wait until there is nobody on stage, or they move. It honestly depends on where you are at, though. Some clubs are different than others.

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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    Stripper Ettiquite. I've always thought that you should never pull a guy away from a girl's stage, go sit at a girl's stage and hustle a guy taking the attention away from her show, etc.

    If a guy at the stage wants to see me, gives me the head twist or flags me over, I'll go and sit with him, smile at the girl and make sure he tips her! then when her song is over and she's leaving stage I'll take him away from the stage for a dance and bring him back when I'm done with him.

    It's being polite. Not all girls do it, but it's what I do.

    What REALLY pisses me off is when girls give a guy a dance while he's stitting at the stage. Granted, stage money is not a huge part of my nightly income, but that seems way out of line to me!




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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    heh.....well, if a guy waves me over, I go over.....and pull one of these: I loudly (so the dancer can hear me!)say something like "hey, if you need some help tipping this gorgeous woman, I am MORE than happy to oblige! I then stay for the rest of the set, pushing the guys there (all of them, not just the guy that waved me over) to keep the cash flowing.....and then you can always toss in this hustle: "I think you and I could really have some fun in a bit, but we just HAVE to stay for the rest of this set! I just love watching (insert name here); she's so hot, and puts me in the mood for a lot of fun! (wink wink, nudge nudge)"

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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    I still cant fathom this idea..I dunno what it is.

    But in all seriousness, we will have shitloads of custies at my club, but the girls just go for the guys at the tipping rail...mainly because they are the ones who showed interest in them at the stage seats...

    Ive seen it happen in other clubs in CT, so I dunno if my state is just stupid, or what.
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    Default Re: Approaching Guys At The Stage

    So on this subject of guys at the tip rail....I was dancing on stage and 3 guys came and sat down, one of them the bachelor. They really liked me and asked me to stop by when I was done. I got off, the other girl gets on stage and I noticed another girl had started talking to these guys so I didnt approach them yet. she left and I went up to them. One of the guys asked, if he paid me per song if I'd sit on the bachelors lap. I said I would but that they had to make sure they were still tipping the girls onstage.
    Sounds like it works out for everyone right? I make money off of them, without taking them from the tiprail and keep them tipping while I'm sitting there, and even put a few bucks in myself.
    Well the girl that had just sat and talked to them while someone was on stage comes back and asks if I'm new. I said yes, I'm fairly new. And she says "you better get away from these guys right now if you don't want everyone here to hate you." I told her the guys requested I'd sit with them and she just walked off. And I guess she was trying to get the guys away from the stage to buy dances in the 1st place. Fucking hypocrite. She proceeded to give me dirty looks all night.
    Oh well noone else minded me, most girls are good about the whole "as long as you keep em tipping" system as a rule for sitting by the stage. And this girl had been sitting on laps at the tip rail earlier!
    I guess some girls are always gonna be like that. Oh well.
    sorry that was a lil off topic but I didnt want to start a whole new thread :-/


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