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Thread: i thought they were all fat and old

  1. #1
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default i thought they were all fat and old

    tuesday is my "day off" because i take turtle (my dog) to dog-class at 6pm and do my "errands" during the day.

    adam (boyfriend) left for work at about 11:30am and set my alarm for 12:30pm.

    12:30pm comes and the alarm goes off. at the same time, the doorbell is ringing and the dog is barking her face off.

    after nearly having a "just woken up" heart attack, i stumble to find clothes. i throw them on and head for the door, scooping up said dog in one hand.

    i open the door, still half panicked, wearing some shit that doesn't match and having massive pillow hair and puffy eyes.

    turns out it's the AC guy (which i knew would be happening at some point today). and to my amazement, he is fucking -hot-

    he comes in wearing red footie things (i'm still not sure why they wear those) and shimmys up a ladder to my AC... which is when i notice he also has a great ass.

    he was early 20s, labret piercing, kind of short but really good body. like... thin but toned. i call it "swimmers build". i don't like "buff" or "big" guys. he looked like johnny depp in the eyes and nose. when he stopped to check various vents, he would shift all his weight on one hip. hot.

    anyway. WTF? i thought all repair guys were fat and old? no fair. i was not expecting this.

    when i'm in my 40s i'm going to be a fucking cougar. i can't wait.

  2. #2
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    Labret peircing? Johnny Depp eyes??? Giiirrrlllll...Tell him I'm having trouble with my air too

  3. #3
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    yeah... i'm thinking about breaking my ac....

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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    mmmmmm I see the beginnings of a steamy porno scene, I don't have an ac but maybe i should get one hehe


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  5. #5
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    This is kind of off-topic, but is your dog named after the dog in Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing and Superfudge?

    I'm jealous of your AC guy. My AC guy IS old (and heavyset, though not moreso than the average 50+ Floridian, so I can't be too harsh) and he also takes his sweet time getting to the house, and he talks all garbled and nonsensical, like Boom-hower (sp?) on King of the Hill. I think the reason why I continue to have AC problems is because I have no idea what he's saying in regard to how NOT to fuck my AC up again. It's a vicious cycle, I tell you.

  6. #6
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    no she's not. i had no idea that book existed untill people started asking me if that's where the name came from. lol

    the actual story is...

    when she was a puppy (3 years ago) she went about a month without a name. we couldn't think of anything that "stuck" you know? so one night we were in the kitchen (drunk) fixing up some munchies, when the puppy rolled over on her back and couldn't get up.

    i was thinking she looked like a turtle stuck there, but i was also trying to tell her to "come over here" so in my drunken state, what came out of my mouth was "come here turtle..."

    and my boyfriend said "oohhhh cause she's caramel and chocolate colored like the candy??"

    i explained why i originaly said it.... and both of us were just kinda like "turtle... yep... that's it" and it stuck.

  7. #7
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    Awww... overturned puppy shenanigans... that is cute.

    I have a cat named Farley Drexel (which is Fudge's real name, from the book) and no one ever asks me where his name came from. They're like, "Farley? As in Chris Farley? The fat actor? I guess your cat IS kind of big..." Yeah. That's the last time I use a sort of obscure literary reference. Actually that's a lie. I'm going to keep incorporating obscure literary references into my daily routine until I'm dead in the ground, because I love that kind of nonsense. It's the sad truth.

    ...I hereby rerail this thread and invite everyone to continue discussing hot AC repairmen.

  8. #8
    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    ^^^ nope, gonna derail it one post more... THAT is SOOOO cool you named your dog after fudge... those were my fav. books for a long time... i heart judy blume.

    I actually made my old babysitter call me "ooch" after the box-dog in Sheila the Great... omg..

    ok-re-railing... yeah, i've had a few cute installation guys... i love having cable installed... mmmm.... then there was that construction guy w/ the jackhammer outside the gym the other morning... *drool* nope, not all old and fat.

  9. #9
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    I have a friend who fucked the cable guy, and my friend happens to be a guy. So he had a hot gay cable guy.

  10. #10
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    I almost fucked my grandparents' plumber once, but I didn't have the guts. The grandparents were at work, I was in town visiting from L.A. and was dressed sexy with pink hair, and he was giving me looks like he'd never seen anything so hot. And I thought he was pretty fucking sexy too. We flirted a bit and I wanted nothing more than to jump him, but I was too chicken. I'm still kicking myself for that.

  11. #11
    God/dess LuckiCharm's Avatar
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    Default Re: i thought they were all fat and old

    Why can't I get any of the good lookin repair men??? I'm jealous!!!

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