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Thread: Bitter...

  1. #1
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Bitter...

    How do I get rid of the bitterness and lack of trust that comes with being a stripper? I get cocky and want to reply to be people more and more rudely even when they haven't done anything wrong. I always get defensive. Today someone asked me if I was willing to go 'up' with them and I thought they meant I was a hooker! (Okay they meant drugs, not much better - but I assumed they wanted my body.)

    It seems like with each day I'm getting more bitter and more untrusting. I don't depend on anyone for anything. I don't even depend on my partner to set the alarm any more because I'm so bitter that everything will go wrong and he won't do it so I set another alarm instead. What's the point of asking someone to help you anymore when you know they won't do it? I even get huffy at cab drivers and banks and... just life. Bitter bitter bitter.

    I don't need a break. I've been on a 'break' (one shift a week - 2 hours tops) for over a month now. I'm not worn out.

    I just hate the world(*cough*men*cough*).

    What to do?


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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    I don't think this comes with being a stripper. I think this may have more to do with something that happened long beforehand. Have you talked with a therapist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

  3. #3
    Callyish
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Nah its from dancing.

    I am the exact same way. Ever since i've gotten fully into it I just assume most people are lying to me.. I dont trust anyone and im just bitter with the world.

    I also developed an 'im better then you' attitude that I really don't mean to have.. its just kinda there. I don't honestly think im better then everyone I just get that attitude.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    I fairly certain is has to do with work. I get VERY testy at work and the feelings I have at work are the ones I act out towards others. And by 'happened long beforehand' you're referring to my past? Because my bitterness didn't pop up until recently.


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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Quote Originally Posted by Callyish View Post
    Nah its from dancing.

    I am the exact same way. Ever since i've gotten fully into it I just assume most people are lying to me.. I dont trust anyone and im just bitter with the world.

    I also developed an 'im better then you' attitude that I really don't mean to have.. its just kinda there. I don't honestly think im better then everyone I just get that attitude.
    That would be it.

    I act like I'm better than everyone else too and I hate it. I'm the snobby bitchy stripper I always hated. :/

    I've tried to actually stop, like, sit down and stop myself from acting this way... and whaddya know.. I go to work and some ass tells me I'm worthless and suddenly I'm a bitch again telling everyone I'm worth more than he can ever afford... and there's the egotistical snarky bitter side of me all back again.


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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    LM I think the defensiveness definately comes from stripping. We have to be on the defense all night at work and then sometimes it can be hard to switch that off when you leave work.

    I'll leave it up to one of the more experienced ladies to come up with some possible solutions coz I really have no idea. Just wanted to share that, yes, I get this way too.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Defensiveness. I like that word better. It makes me sound like more of the victim.


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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Maybe you're feeling burnt out at work? Or wanting a change?

    I know I get testy and less tolerant when I'm ready to do something else with my life...
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    ^^
    it's true tho isn't it?

    Like ALL night at work u have to watch out to make sure people are not trying to touch you or whatever else gross things they try.

    You also need that defensive attitude like "No I will not fuck you for money" all night.

    I have read many times on here when some dancer's boyfriends touch them suddenly they slap their hands away. I know I have done it. I also know how much it hurts us and them when we act like that, as if they are a creepy custie.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine73 View Post
    Maybe you're feeling burnt out at work? Or wanting a change?

    I know I get testy and less tolerant when I'm ready to do something else with my life...
    No. I kinda said in the original post I wasn't burnt out. I've been travelling a lot for change already and I'm only working a few hours a week at best. I'm not burned out... just bitter from the shit I've had to deal with over the years that I snapped.


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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    ^^
    it's true tho isn't it?

    Like ALL night at work u have to watch out to make sure people are not trying to touch you or whatever else gross things they try.

    You also need that defensive attitude like "No I will not fuck you for money" all night.

    I have read many times on here when some dancer's boyfriends touch them suddenly they slap their hands away. I know I have done it. I also know how much it hurts us and them when we act like that, as if they are a creepy custie.
    I do that. I slapped Michael clear across the face when he grabbed my crotch and went, "You can't touch there!!!!" :x

    And that's the kind of behaviour I'm talking about. Any girl in her own home with her own partner getting grabbed in the crotch would probably laugh.


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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    I get the same way. When my partner grabs at my boobs I even feel uncomfortable...

    I really don't know what we can do about this either but it's shit and definately a result of dancing.

  13. #13
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...



    Look like a woman
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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...


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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan View Post
    No. I kinda said in the original post I wasn't burnt out. I've been travelling a lot for change already and I'm only working a few hours a week at best. I'm not burned out... just bitter from the shit I've had to deal with over the years that I snapped.
    If you're bitter from stuff you've been dealing with over the years (was all this stuff dancing related, or otherwise?), maybe you should talk to a professional.

    I went to see someone, and it helped a lot...otherwise, I'm not sure what else I'd do if I were you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Professionals don't do shit for me. They just blame my mother or start asking me a million questions about being a stripper (I was even once asked if I was a hooker! wtf!)... I hate them for anything more than serious suicidal thoughts.

    Hey lookit, there's that personality again, woohoo...

    I'm fairly certain being a self-centred bitch it just wanna those things you have to get over. Therapists can help you feel better but they can't exactly change your personality.


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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Ah fuck it, I'll try it... what do I have to lose?

    *there it is again*


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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    So what exactly is the problem????

    Appears that you are only getting smarter.

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Well no they don't try to change your personality or anything, but they can help you discover the reasons for feeling the way you do. Mine really helped me understand myself better, and rather let my past drag me down I've found a way to make things work for me and not against me. I live a happier life now, thank God, because for a while there it was really rough.

    Whatever you choose to do, I hope you find a way to a happier life.

    Sorry if I'm babbling here. It's late and I'm tired from working and I'm getting delirious and I think it's time for bed. Night night.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine73 View Post
    Well no they don't try to change your personality or anything, but they can help you discover the reasons for feeling the way you do. Mine really helped me understand myself better, and rather let my past drag me down I've found a way to make things work for me and not against me. I live a happier life now, thank God, because for a while there it was really rough.

    Whatever you choose to do, I hope you find a way to a happier life.

    Sorry if I'm babbling here. It's late and I'm tired from working and I'm getting delirious and I think it's time for bed. Night night.
    But I know why I feel the way I do... so what can they do other than tell me I'm right?


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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    I sympathize...

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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Do you think this is something you can move through, or would you have to move away from dancing altogether?

    I think, for me, I had this defensive-aggressive-bitchy part of my personality that got a lot stronger when I started dancing. For a while it was kind of out of control and in retrospect it seems like it was becaues that part of me was a little seperate from the rest of me. Like *I* couldn't be that bitchy, I'd have to step into some other role to do it at work and then I'd just get stuck that way. After a while I got more integrated and now I can be that bitchy, and I do it without stepping away from myself so it doesn't really take over. I don't know if it's that way for you tho.



  23. #23
    Veteran Member miss cleo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    I switched from working weekend nights to week day shifts and this helped me alot. Instead of dealing with young abusive cocky assholes i dealt with older, more sober guys and i have been doing it for 3 months now and i have not recieved even one abusive or rude comment. This has made such a huge difference to my mental health.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bitter...

    Quote Originally Posted by miss cleo View Post
    I switched from working weekend nights to week day shifts and this helped me alot. Instead of dealing with young abusive cocky assholes i dealt with older, more sober guys and i have been doing it for 3 months now and i have not recieved even one abusive or rude comment. This has made such a huge difference to my mental health.
    I can't really do that since I'm a private party dancer. I work when I get work. But I'm really glad it worked for you!


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    Default Re: Bitter...

    I have been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 14. But this was the result of anxiety and depression problems.

    I dont really recommend it or not recommend it TBH. I feel pretty neutral about whether it's really helped or not. I do feel a bit jadded tho coz I am now reliant on anti-depressants. DOn't touch them if u can help it. Im not against them per se. I just dont think they should be prescribed to 14 year old girls who cannot make an informed decision about whether they should take them.

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